68 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
MEMORANDUM
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TO: ALL CLIENTS WHO HAVE RECENTLY PURCHASED OR ARE ABOUT TO
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PURCHASE A DOG.
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FROM: STOKES A. BAIRD AND JAMES C. LADD
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RE: WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR DOG.
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EVERYBODY WHO HAS A DOG CALLS HIM "ROVER" OR "BOY". I CALLED
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MINE "SEX".
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NOW, SEX HAS BEEN VERY EMBARRASSING TO ME, WHEN I WENT TO CITY
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HALL TO RENEW HIS DOG LICENSE, I TOLD THE CLERK I WOULD LIKE TO
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HAVE A LICENSE FOR SEX. HE SAID, "I'D LIKE TO HAVE ONE TOO". THEN
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I SAID, "BUT THIS IS A DOG". HE SAID HE DIDN'T CARE WHAT SHE
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LOOKED LIKE. THEN I SAID, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. " I'VE HAD SEX
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SINCE I WAS NINE YEARS OLD". HE SAID I MUST HAVE BEEN QUITE A
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KID!!!
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WHEN I GOT MARRIED AND WENT ON MY HONEYMOON, I TOOK THE DOG
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WITH ME. I TOLD THE HOTEL CLERK THAT I WANTED A ROOM FOR MY WIFE
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AND ME, AND A SPECIAL ROOM FOR SEX. HE SAID THAT EVERY ROOM IN
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THE PLACE WAS FOR SEX. I SAID, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SEX KEEPS
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ME AWAKE AT NIGHT". THE CLERK SAID, "ME TOO".
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ONE DAY I ENTERED SEX IN A CONTEST, BUT BEFORE THE COMPETITION
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BEGAN, THE DOG RAN AWAY. ANOTHER CONTESTANT ASKED ME WHY I WAS
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STANDING THERE LOOKING AROUND, I TOLD HIM I HAD PLANNED TO HAVE
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SEX IN THE CONTEST. HE TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE SOLD MY OWN
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TICKETS. "BUT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND", I SAID. "I HAD HOPED TO HAVE
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SEX ON T.V.". HE CALLED ME A SHOW-OFF.
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WHEN MY WIFE AND I SEPARATED, WE WENT TO COURT TO FIGHT FOR
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CUSTODY OF THE DOG. I SAID, "YOUR HONOR, I HAD SEX BEFORE I WAS
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MARRIED". THE JUDGE SAID, "ME TOO". THEN I TOLD HIM THAT AFTER I
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WAS MARRIED, SEX LEFT ME. HE SAID, "ME TOO".
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LAST NIGHT, SEX RAN OFF AGAIN. I SPENT HOURS LOOKING AROUND
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TOWN FOR HIM. A COP CAME OVER TO ME AND ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOU
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DOING IN THIS ALLEY AT 4 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?". I SAID, "I'M
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LOOKING FOR SEX".
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MY CASE COMES UP FRIDAY.....
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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