textfiles/sex/mormon.txt

STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints
	Be assured that you can be cured of your 
difficulty. Many have been, both male and 
female, and you can be also if you determine
 that it must be so.
	This determination is the first step. That is
 where we begin. You must decide that you 
will end this practice, and when you make that
 decision, the problem will be greatly reduced
 at once.
	But it must be more than a hope or a wish,
 more than knowing that it is good for you. It
 must be actually a DECISION.  If you truly
 make up your mind that you will be cured,
 then you will have the strength to resist any
 tendencies which you may have and any
 temptations which may come to you.
	After you have made this decision, then 
observe the following specific guidelines:

A Guide to Self-Control:

	1. Never touch the intimate parts of your
 body except during normal toilet processes.
	2. Avoid being alone as much as possible.
 Find good company and stay in this good
 company.
	3. If you are associated with other
 persons having this same problem, YOU
 MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP.
 Never associate with other people having the
 same weakness. Don't suppose that two of 
you will quit together, you never will. You
 must get away from people of that kind.
Just to be in their presence will keep
 your problem foremost in your mind. The 
problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND
 for that is where it really exists. Your mind
 must be on other and more wholesome
 things.
	4. When you bathe, do not admire
 yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath
 more than five or six minutes - just long
 enough to bathe and dry and dress AND
 THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into
 a room where you will have some member of
 your family present.
	5. When in bed, if that is where you have
 your problem for the most part, dress
 yourself for the night so securely that you
 cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so
 that it would be difficult and time 
consuming for you to remove those clothes.
 By the time you started to remove protective 
clothing you would have sufficiently
 controlled your thinking that the temptation
 would leave you.
	6. If the temptation seems overpowering
 while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED
 AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX
 YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the
 middle of the night, and even if you are not
 hungry, and despite your fears of gaining
 weight. The purpose behind this suggestion
 is that you GET YOUR MIND ON
SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of
 your thoughts, so to speak.
	7. Never read pornographic material.
 Never read about your problem. Keep it
 out of mind. Remember - "First a thought,
 then an act." The thought pattern must be
 changed. You must not allow this problem
 to remain in your mid.  When you 
accomplish that, you soon will be free of
 the act.
	8. Put wholesome thoughts into your
 mind at all times. Read good books
 - Church books - Scriptures - Make a
 daily habit of reading at least one chapter
 of Scripture, preferably from one of the
 four Gospels in the New Testament, or
 the Book of Mormon.
	9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray
 about this problem, for that will tend to
 keep [it] in your mind more than ever.
Pray for faith, pray for understanding of
 the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the
 General Authorities, your friends, your
 families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT
 OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING
 IT EVER - NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH
 OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP
 IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a
 person toward his problem has an effect on
 how easy it is to overcome. It is essential
 that a firm commitment be made to control
 the habit. As a person understands his
 reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to
 the conditions or situations that may trigger
 a desire for the act, he develops the power to
 control it. We are taught that our bodies
 are temples of God, and are to be clean 
so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us.
 Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one of
 the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional
 stress. It is not physically harmful unless
 practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is
 totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no
 way expresses the proper use of the 
procreative power given to man to fulfill
 eternal purposes. It therefore separates a
 person from God and defeats the gospel
 plan.
	10. This self-gratifying activity will cause
 one to lose his self-respect, his testimony
 becomes weak, and missionary work and
 other Church callings become
 burdensome.

Suggestions:

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit,
 that which will strengthen you against
 temptation.  Pray fervently and out loud
 when the temptations are the strongest.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily 
exercise. The exercises reduce emotional
 tension and depression and are absolutely
 basic to the solution of this problem. Double
 your physical activity when you feel stress
 increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is
 strong, yell _STOP_ to those thoughts as
 loudly as you can in your mind and then
 recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an
 inspirational hymn. It is important to turn
 your thoughts away from the selfish need
 to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day,
 then a week, month, year and finally
 commit to never doing it again. Until you
 commit yourself to _never again_ you will
 always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is 
most easily achieved through a changed
 self-image.  Spend time every day
 imagining yourself strong and in control,
 easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement 
program. Relate this plan to improving your 
Church service, to improving your
 relationships with your family, God and
 others. Strive to enhance your strengths
 and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly.  Force yourself
 to be with others and learn to enjoy
 working and talking to them.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you
 or that cause you to feel lonely, bored,
 frustrated or discouraged. These emotional
 states can trigger the desire to masturbate
 as a way of escape. Plan in advance to
 counter these low periods through various
 activities, such as reading a book, visiting
 a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a
 small card. Carry it with you, but show it 
to no one. If you have a lapse of self
 control, color the day black. Your goal
 will be to have _no black days_. The 
calendar becomes a strong visual reminder
 of self control and should be looked at
 when you are tempted to add another
 black day. Keep your calendar up until
 you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have
 had the problem at certain times and
 under certain conditions.  Try and recall,
 in detail, what your particular times and
 conditions were. Now that you 
understand how it happens, plan to break
 the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a
 very effective technique called _aversion
 therapy_. When we associate or think of
 something very distasteful with
 something which has been pleasurable,
 but undesirable, the distasteful thought
 and feeling will begin to cancel out that 
which was pleasurable. If you associate
 something very distasteful with your
loss of self-control it will help you to stop
 the act. For example, if you are tempted
 to masturbate, think of having to bathe in
 a tub of worms, and eat several of them
 as you do the act.
12. During your toileting and shower
 activities leave the bathroom door or
 shower curtain partly open, to
 discourage being alone in total privacy.
 Take cool brief showers.
13. Arise immediately in the mornings.
 Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what
 time of day it is. Get up and do something.
 Start each day with an enthusiastic
 activity.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from
 drinking large amounts of fluids before
 retiring.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and
 condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as
 possible at night.
16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open,
 yet loose and not binding.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or
 reading materials that might create
 sexual excitement.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a
 physical object to use in overcoming 
this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly
 held in hand, even in bed at night has
 proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary
 to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in
 order that the habit of masturbating in a
 semi-sleep condition can be broken. This 
can also be accomplished by wearing
 several layers of clothing which would
 be difficult to remove while half asleep.
20. Set up a reward system for your 
successes. It does not have to be a big
 reward. A quarter in a receptacle each 
time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend 
it on something which delights you and
 will be a continuing reminder
 of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past
 habit or attitude patterns which were part
 of your problem. _Satan Never Gives Up_..
 Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep
 a positive mental attitude. You can win
 this fight!  The joy and strength you will 
feel when you do will give your whole life
 a radiant and spiritual glow of
 satisfaction and fulfillment.