65 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
The following exerpts were taken from a book entitled "Guilt Without
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Sex", written by Gina Collens and published by Price/Stern/Sloan
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Publishers Inc., Los Angeles - 1985.
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What is guilt?
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One out of four Americans feels guilty all the time. Think of three of
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your closest friends. If they seem OK, you're in trouble.
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EXAMPLES
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The definitive example of guilt concerns the fellow who gets
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sick at the office. Since the boss isn't around, a co-worker says, "Why
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don't you go home?" So, he does. He goes home, up to the bedroom, and
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finds the boss making love to his wife. He sneaks out and rushes back to
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the office and grabs his friend, "Bad advice you gave me, I almost got
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caught."
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You straighten up your apartment before the cleaning lady shows up.
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At a bullfight, you find yourself rooting for the bull.
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You help her look for her canary when you've accidently put it down
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the garbage disposal.
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Your girlfriend is pregnant by somebody else - and you still apologize.
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You're sitting in a plastic chair applying for a job and the chair makes
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a peculiar human noise, so you spend the rest of the interview squirming
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in the chair to make it do it again... and you can't.
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You park your car in a space reserved for the handicapped and then
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pretend a limp as you walk away from the car.
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You call the tv cable repairman to come fix your tv picture and the man who
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walks up four flights of stairs just pushes the plug in tighter.
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Deep down inside you hate Disneyland.
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You have a dog in a "no pets" building so every time you run into the
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manager, you bark.
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You don't enjoy the chocolate mousse for dessert because the person next to
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you is on a diet.
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Guilt is taking the last wooden hanger in the closet.
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Your portion of chocolate cake is twice as large as anybody else's.
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When you park next to a dinged up car, you leave a note saying, "It wasn't
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me that did it!"
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Having the service station attendant check the oil, water, battery, tire
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pressure, and ashtrays.. and then finding out your wife filled the gas tank
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just before she picked you up at work.
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Going to a wife swapping party when you're really a bachelor.
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In your heart you're glad that Robert Redford has moles.
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You have trouble starting your car when someone is waiting for your space.
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You forget the telephone number that Information just gave you and you're
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hesitant to call back for fear she'll recognize your voice.
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