30 lines
1.5 KiB
Plaintext
30 lines
1.5 KiB
Plaintext
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The Contract
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I, _______________________, hereby surrender all possibilities of
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friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in
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exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication.
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I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or
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otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for a time
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of no less than thirty (30) days and nights after said activities have
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been fulfilled. I also surrender all rights to propagate rumors,
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misnomers and dirty looks in the cafeteria from myself and friends,
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and will treat said co-signer with all the respect due a stranger.
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I will say "hi" if we pass within ten (10) meters in a friendly,
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if not neutral, tone. I will also upon completion of herefore listed
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activities not leave underwear, earrings or other insignificant yet
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oh-so-valuable knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co-
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signer's abode for the sole purpose of returning to said abode and
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breaking the no-contact agreement of this document.
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I furthermore state that I am of sound mind and desirable body,
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and will not call said co-signer by any other name than is his or her own,
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nor reminisce on some former slime-ball/great lover who wore the same
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cologne, roll-on, boxer shorts or robe. I will also pay one-half of
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all laundry fees as needed after prescribed activity.
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From: drbill@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (william.h.davies)
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-/Vuarnet International/-
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617/527.oo91
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24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis |