266 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
266 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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I have a question or two for some of you who are a bit more worldly wise than
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me. Maybe you can give me some answers
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While I was in southern california a while ago and saw one of these newspapers
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that they sell out of the machines for swingers. I'd heard about these but
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never seen on. Now, to say the least I couln't belive it. BUT, I've got some
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questions. So try not to laugh, for these may be a bit naive
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<grin>
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1. Is this for real? Or is this just a bunch of hookers advertising?
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2. How can they give phone numbers (they all do)? Wouldn't they get calls fro
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all kinds of wierdos in all hours of the night?
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3. What does "out call only" and "in call only" mean?
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4. How come nearly every woman's picture in the entire paper is this beautifu
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body? I mean, do they expect us to believe that there are all these gorgeous
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women out there who can't find anyone to have sex iith and so they have to
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advertize for it? What about all the ugly women? Don't they advertize?
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5. How come there were very few ads from men? I would think it would be
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the men who would be advertizing, not the women.
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6. Do people really respond to those ads, or do they just buy the paper to
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look at the pictures?
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7. What are these people really selling? I mean like one ad says "want to
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exchange photos" Are they selling them?? I mean, why would anyone do that if
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they wern't looking to make money from them? Would people really send naked
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pictures of themself to strangers?
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8. What are these phone numbers who say, call and we will match you up with
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people who want to have sex with you etc etc. What's their angle?
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9. If these swingers really do swing...don't they catch every thing there is
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to catch. Doesn't sound like the healthiest way to live.
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Anybody got any answers??
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<sigh> Poor little Roger. Gotta keep him down on the farm, so these city wiles
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won't get him taken advantage of. <grin>
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I don't know all the answers to your questions, but I'll try:
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1. Is this for real? Just as real as the "massage parlors" who give rather
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considerably more than massage.
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2. Anybody who puts her phone number in a paper like that is going to get
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weird phone calls at all hours. That's why so many of them are linked to
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answering machines and message services. You might ask Sarona Collins how she
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handles the calls that come to her.
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3. "Out call only" means that she comes to the place you specify. "In call
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only" means that you go to the place she specifies.
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4. The pictures are of beautiful women because that's what guys fantasize
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about. Guys tend not to fantasize about ugly women, do they?
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5. How come so few ads from men? Because women generally don't go out looking
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for sex they can buy. And they generally aren't into anonymous sex. Nor sex
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without some sort of relationship.
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6. Some people respond to the ads. Let's face it, the ad is marketing. One
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doesn't continue to market a product unless there is some sort of demand, with
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a profit associated with it. Ads cost money. Ergo, the people who continue to
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place the ad are finding some sort of benefit associated with the ad.
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7. Would people really send naked pictures of themselves to strangers? Some
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people do, Rog. It's called advertising.
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8. What about the "matching" services? <sigh> Yet another euphemism, my
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friend.
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9. You're right about swinging, I suspect. There are now some studies that
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are showing a small but discernable percentage of hookers carrying the HTLV
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virus, and who are still sexually active. The ol' "exchange of bodily fluids"
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in the wrong places ain't confined to the gay male population any more.
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But then, what do I know? I'm so innocent, and naive.....<grin>
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<Hugs>
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Elna
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Do you mean to tell me that all the people who advertise in these are pros? Do
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"swingers" advertise anywhere or is that just a myth?
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Rog -- I can't guarantee that *everybody* who places a classified ad there is a
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ro. But pros use newspapers like that. A lot. People who class themselves as
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"swingers" generally prefer local groups, the contact for which tends to be
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passed from person to person along a grapevine. There are "clubs" for swingers
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in probably every major city in the country -- but the whereabouts tends to be
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known only to the locals who have an interest, and to selected visitors.
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I'm not speaking for personal knowledge, understand. I've talked to people who
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have been participants, and I'm basing my answers on things I've learned from
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them.
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<Hugs>
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elna
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Hmmmm, how interesting. I'm suprised that the police let it be so open. And,
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if every massage parlor doesn't give massages, where does one go to get a REAL
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massage??
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Boy, I have lots of questions don't I? <grin>
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A real massage? Probably at a holistic health center, luv.
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<Hugs>
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Elna
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Dear Roger:
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I see Elna has given you a very comprehensive reply.
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However, there *are* magazines that carry non-commercial contact
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advertisements. One of these is "Kinky Contacts". There you will see people
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advertizing according to their interests. There is a large tv section, for
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example, and a section for couples who want a third person. There are also a
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lot of advertisements from dominant ladies, but I believe most of those are
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probably from professionals or semi-professionals. And there *are* also
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advertisements from men.
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Of course, those of us who are more sophisticated use electronic kinky contacts
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(otherwise known as Section 8)!
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Seriously, though, I think some of these magazines do serve a purpose. How else
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would a couple who wanted to meet a tv to join in their fun and games go about
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finding one?
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Best wishes ... Peter
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So tell me the scenario. An ad says something like "couples wants to get
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together with single men. Or will share photos. Write for info and send
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picture and phone number"
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So, if somebody answers that ad, what happens??
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I believe that a lot of people are interested just in writing and sharing
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photos. But these ads to lead to actual "contacts" too.
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I wonder whether any other members can enlighten us further. I've never
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explored the possibilities of contact mags myself.
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In Canada, go to a registered massage therapist (RMT). This is a problem many
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legitimate masseurs ans masseusses experience.
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If you want a REAL massage, check out ads in regular newspapers. Look for the
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certified therapeutic masseuses ... they're on the up-and-up, since the people
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who want the OTHER kind of massage look other places to find parlors. (Least
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that's the way we do it in Texas.)
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Well, Roger....
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Having met a few people who do advertise, & reply, I know that at
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least a few are for real.
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As an experiment for a class, I once answered several ads. Out
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of 25 tries, I got 12 responses, and actually carried out lengthy
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correspondence with 2, even after telling them why I had written
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in the first place. Of the remaining 10, I eliminated 8 before
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my "confession" for various reasons, i.e. pros, requests for or
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offers of money, etc. The last two were also real people, but
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requested that they not be made part of my data, and
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consequently, our correspondence concluded fairly early on.
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Huggss, Kathy
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Hmmmm, interesting. What did the real people want (before they found out why
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you had answered the ad) What did the pro's want? What was the justification
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for requests for money? Were these ads from men, women or couples?
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Lots of questions eh?? <grin>
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There are indeed real contact magazines: you can recognize them because they
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are 50% men looking for women, 40% couples looking for couples or women and 10%
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women looking for some combination of M/W/C. (and half the women are still pros
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or total rip-off).
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If you are interested in this method of meeting someone, I would try a
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broad minded personals section in a straight publication, or the ad section of
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a journal devoted to your interest (since this is section 8, I am assuming a
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non-standard interest). If you're 'normal' you can probably do fairly well--
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at least it's better for the liver thant the bar scene.
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I have run my phone in ads, and gotten all sorts of calls. It was
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educational.
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For a single male, my experience is that you do better running your
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own ad: a womans ad gets literally hundreds of responses, and even if your
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response is attaractive she's liable to have dumped the whole bagful in the
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trash. You'll get 2 or 3, but they'll be real.
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The key, in either an ad or a respnse, is to proesent yourself as a
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real person, interested in meeting a real person. (the Boston Phoenix realizes
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this and deliberately edits 'kinky' (does not include gay by their definition)
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ads to ba as unattractive as possible)
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Frank
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Just a short question to the more knowledgeable types out there: Which of the
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contact magazines are best from a response, nationwide distribution, and amount
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of readership standpoint? I am most interested in the "slick" magazines, not
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the newspaper types. Anybody have any experience/ideas on the subject?
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I was amazed to learn that there are almost as many couples advertizing as
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there are males. It looks as if the group scene is very popular. Can you break
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down those ads even further, e.g. what proportion are looking for another male,
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what proportion for a female, and what proportion for another couple? That
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would be most interesting.
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I suspect the high couples ratio is because they have a tolerable success rate:
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They do hear from other couples, _plenty_ of single males if they'll accept
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them, and probably do as well with single females as single men do. Single men
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on the other hand get damn few replies and thus get discouraged. I would guess
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that over half the couples want couples or female, with just couples coming
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next. Just females is about tied with couples, males, females, and males only
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is a _very_ distant Nth. (I have seen such, but they're rare). Say 55, 25, 10,
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10 percent.
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That's a quick and dirty guess, and rememberthat my sample is heavily
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biased to BD/SM. Another reason for the heavy couples presence in 'Swinger'
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pubs might be that singles can play word games in straight personals, whereas
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couples are kinda stuck.
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Frank
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Kenneth, I have found that only publications like The New York Review of Books
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have much legitimacy--see the personal ad section therein. The magazines like
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Latent Image apparently have something going, as they have been around for a
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long time. Most of the people I know who have tried to connect through
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swingers mags have been disappointed; I would be interested to see if anyone
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responds to you who has matched up. John T.
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