414 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
414 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
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#: 41723 S9/[For Women Only]
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22-Jul-85 21:58:35
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Sb: #Is He Just *TOO* Kinky?
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: ALL
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To All:
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Experimentation is a normal part of an
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*ongoing* sexual relationshio.... BUT
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...what do you do when *HE* wants to
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try something and you sort of sit up
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and think ......... "HE'S JUST TOOO
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KINKY"!!
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I think we have all had this happen at
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some time or another. What do we do?
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a. NOT try it because you are
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uncomfortable with it. b. DO IT even
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though you are uneasy with it. c.
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ESTABLISH some guidelines.
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So.....what do *YOU* think??? If
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guidelines, what should they be???
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Let's hear *EVERYONES* input on this!!
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Huggers...CAT
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Fm: * Marte * 70317,24
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177
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What I generally do is try it, once.
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There have been a lot of things that
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Jim has wanted to try, that I've felt
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uneasy about, but have gone along with
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it anyway. Some were fun, some we just
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laughed about and never tried again. I
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know that trying new things sexually is
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not easy for many women, but I try very
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hard to be accommodating--who knows
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when i might find a new favorite thing
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to do??
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n
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Marte * 70317,24 (X)
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Marte:
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I agree with the adage "try it you'll
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like it", sometimes.... but must admit
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in the past there have been things I
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have tried and did not like it ......
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Do you think there is a dividing line??
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Marte * 70317,24
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177
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Well, I haven't liked everything we've
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tried; neither has Jim. If one of us
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finds something not to our liking after
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trying it, we say so, and that is that.
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It hasn't caused any problems yet
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<smile>.
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--M--
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Fm: * Diane * 75236,1077
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177
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I guess I don't have any answers to
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this one..but I sure do have more
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questions! How do you explain to your
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man of the moment (or however long
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you've had him around) that sometimes
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you feel wildly inventive - want to try
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all the new and unusual things he has
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in mind - and at other times would only
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like to have a prim everyday missionary
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on top sort of experience. I find
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myself being at different levels of
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willingness at different times. The
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rhythms in my marriage don't seem to
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conincide very well. When I am a wanton
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woman...he has no need for
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experimentation. When I am on hold, so
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to speak, he has just read the lastest
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issue of Playboy. Sigh...how do you
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solve this one? Dina hehe..that
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is..Diane
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Marte * 70317,24
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Marte
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I think it sounds like you have an
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advantage over most couples in that you
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can talk about it openly. I think a
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lot of relationships dont have this
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ability!!
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Have you ever had anything that you
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were not able to talk about?
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Diane * 75236,1077
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Diane
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that unfortunately is really the
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truth... have you ever tried making a
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date ahead of time... say a week...and
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then just both building up to it!! Some
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people think making a "date" for sex in
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marriage is wrong, but isnt that what
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we did when we were single. I mean when
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we were getting ready for a date, we
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usually knew it would end up with
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sex.... and the thinking ahead of time
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about it was part of the fun!!! Just
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one suggestion..smile.
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Marte * 70317,24
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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There have been, on occasion, things
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that we have not talked about because
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the potential for hurting the other
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person was too high. In most cases,
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after sufficient time had passed, we
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were able to discuss it. But yes,
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there are some things that we don't
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talk about, mostly having to do with
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fantasies and other "things of the
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mind."
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--M--
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Fm: * Karena * 74706,2777
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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I don't know just what to say, because
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he thinks some of my preferences are
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*TOO* kinky. He goes along, but he
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doesn't enjoy, so I seldom persuade. I
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am going to try a new approach though:
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shave an area that wants attention.
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Maybe then he'll enjoy it too. If not,
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C'est la vie. Get it somewhere else if
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I must have it, I guess. Hugs
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Karena
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Fm: * Karena * 74706,2777
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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OOOOOH Fantasy Inn, here we come! Hugs
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Karena
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Karena * 74706,2777 (X)
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Karene
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Funny.... if we are a cross section,
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perhaps the title should have been "Am
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I Too Kinky!!".
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In the past (marriage) he really was
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*too* kinky, but current relationship
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luckily is equal.
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But how do you handle "setting ground
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rules or guidelines"?
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Karena * 74706,2777 (X)
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Karena
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M
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to Fantasy Inn, what do you think
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about the following:
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l. Should deep fantasys be talked about
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or just kept to ones self.
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2. Do you think there is a difference
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between what we would like to do and
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what we would only like to fantazice
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about.
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Cathy * 70247,2557
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177
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What is kinky for one, may not be for
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another. So, I feel that establishing
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some guidelines should be considered.
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By that I mean the couple should
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discuss the matter in great detail, out
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of the bedroom, and as matter-as-fact
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as possible. That way, each person's
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feelings could be presented, without
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having one of them soooo turned on,
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that a arguement would ensue. Nothing
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worse than try to discuss a problem
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with sex, while the other person is
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breathing heavily <smile>.
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Cathy
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Fm: * Karena * 74706,2777
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177
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Cat, For me, it's really quite easy,
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if he doesn't enjoy something, I get
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eery little pleasure from it, so I
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simply don't insist. Now and then I ply
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him with a glass or two of wine (we're
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cheap drunks) and then he doesn't seen
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to mind, but much of the time I settle
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for less in both what I want and how
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much I want, and I know he gives a
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little more than he really wants. If I
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really need more or something he
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doesn't like, I am free to get it
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elsewhere, but I seldom use that
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freedom. If it were him, rather than me
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that had different needs, I would
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probably draw the line a something that
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could be physically painful or
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damaging, but would indulge him
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occasionally, unless it was something I
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simply could not do, in which case, I
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would let him get it elsewhere. He has
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the same perogatives and freedoms, but
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has indulged them even more rarely than
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I have. We've simply adjusted.
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HUGs...Karena
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Fm: * Karena * 74706,2777
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177
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We always discuss our fantasies, but
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then I guess we are a bit strange, so
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we do all sorts of things that don't
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work for others. We never lie, or fail
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to inform the other on more than
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trivial matters (like surprizes). We
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have a truly open marriage. I have
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always felt equal to my husband (and
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other men as well), and he has always
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accepted that. We have NEVER seperated
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the roles into male/female. Discussing
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fantasies if fun, and often leads to
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mutual satisfaction, as we decide to
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try them out.
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As for the fantasies that we really
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don't want to indulge, it is often
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titillating to talk about them too.
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HUgs Karena
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42043
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FmR~ Diane * 75236,1077
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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Let me butt in here to say that I think
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there are at least *some* guys here on
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HSX that are doing things in compusex
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that they would LOVE to do in real
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life, but for whatever reason, they
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can't do in real life. I sort of feel
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sorry for them, and for all of us who
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can only experience in fantasy what we
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would love to experience for real!
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Diane
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Fm: * Diane * 75236,1077
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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Not all bark and no bite.....but mind
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play!!! And isn't it fun? And doesn't
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it lead to more adventuresome
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things....after you give voice to
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it????? Diane
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Fm: * Marte * 70317,24
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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I know that some men are....the ones
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who are *heavily* married in real life
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and see this as an opportunity to fool
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around without guilt or "sin." They
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build walls between the computer life
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and real life to justify this behavior.
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What puzzles me is, do they think the
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people on the other end of the line are
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not real? Do they think that the
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feelings they arouse are just
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electronic figments of someone's
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imagination?
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--M--
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Fm: * Karena * 74706,2777
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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Cat, like what for instance? I have
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tried most of my realistic fantasies.
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The only one I haven't tried has too
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high a risk factor: I fantasise about
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being loved by my husband, and his
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younger brother simultaneousely, and
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John and I both agree that even if it
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were possible, we would not want to
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take the chance of alienating his
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brother. I don't really know if John
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would mind, as his brother and he are
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practically look-alikes, and there is a
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great deal of love between them. In
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fact, if I lost John, he would predict
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(rightly) that I would set my cap for
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his brother, who is divorced.
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Fantasies that we simply MUST
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indulge, probably. As for the men on
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here and compusex, I think it is indeed
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another outlet. Hugs Karena
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Fm: * Karena * 74706,2777
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To: * Cat * 70267,2177 (X)
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Cat, As I mentioned in the previous
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note, sometimes indulgence carries too
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high a risk, and sharing it is a good
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substitute. Hugs Karena
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Cathy * 70247,2557
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Cathy
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Communication is probably a lot of the
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key to the variance to what is
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"c5
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ortable" and what is not.
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Funny how we can be so very open with
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one person and yet so closed with
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others.
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Diane * 75236,1077
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Diane and All
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your message really is an entire
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subject in itself. But do you wonder
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if sometimes Fantasys just are better
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off being left as fantasys.
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Do you think that the *some* men on
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here who would LOVE to experience the
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things they do here in real life, would
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be happier if they did???
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Do you sometimes wonder if being on
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here (cis) is sort of like having the
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"interactive fantasy".
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Huggs...CAT
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Fm: * Cat * 70267,2177
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To: * Diane * 75236,1077
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Diand
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Sometimes I agree that the talking
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about it is really part of the fun and
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even though we might not *really* want
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topo experience all that we talk about,
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at least by opening the communication,
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we can more fully express what we would
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really like to do!
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Huggs.....CAT
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