373 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
373 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
Archive-name: Casual/bardream.txt
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Archive-author: Thomas Frost
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Archive-title: Dream, The
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She awoke at midnight again, the way she had for the past
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three nights, the sheets twisted tightly into an umbilical cord
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binding her to the sweaty womb of her bed.
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She disentangled herself from the tangled topsheet and laid
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back, closing her eyes. Immediately the dream from which she had
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awakened flashed into her consciousness: the utter darkness and
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the sudden, dim, slanting light; the stranger, the man she had
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seen and followed; the small anonymous room; the smell, the feel
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of him; the awful, all-consuming hunger.
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She opened her eyes quickly, sat up and turned on the
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nightstand light to dispel the vision. No sense trying for sleep
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now, she thought. Why the dream had come, why it affected her,
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consumed her like this, she did not know; but for now it would
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not leave her.
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She lit a cigarette, hoping to concentrate on that and
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occupy her mind, dispel the terrible demon that was the dream
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with the mundane, the ordinary. She sat back against the
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headboard, and without thinking closed her eyes tiredly.
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Instantly the dream filled her vision again. A dark
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restaurant, club, bar, a place she had never been; a man she did
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not know -- no, did not *want* to know; the small room,
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featureless apart from a bed against one wall, without blankets
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or frame or headboard; the feel of him against her, on top of
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her; feeling him between her legs, parting them, dividing her
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(divide and conquer, a part of her mind thought, unbidden),
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opening her....
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She started suddenly, looking down. As of its own volition,
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her hand was caressing her bare thigh, grasping it, pulling her
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leg away from its mate...opening her....
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She stubbed out the cigarette and jumped to her feet, her
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heart racing, pounding. This is ridiculous, she thought, pacing
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the floor. It's a dream. *Only* a dream. I'm in control; it
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only affects me as much as I want it to.
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Instantly upon thinking the phrase she stopped her pacing.
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The truth penetrated her mind: she *did* want it to affect her,
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to consume her. She wanted a reality to match the dream.
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NO! she shouted inside herself, sitting on the bed and
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massaging her temples. All right, she admitted, your sex life
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hasn't been that good lately: a series of nice guys, really
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sweet and kind and considerate and gentle, maybe lacking a
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certain fire, but good. So now, just for kicks, you're going to
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go to bed with someone you know nothing about? Going to risk
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rape, abuse, VD? My God, risk AIDS? Is that what all of your
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rhetoric about male chauvinism, about the myth of machismo and
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how sex is sharing, is cooperation, comes to?
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She tried to follow the old arguments playing now in her
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head, to hold back the dark tide of her dream with a teaspoon of
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reality, but it was no use. There was a kind of fire in her now,
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a heavy feeling, an electricity that began just behind her navel
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and traveled down her thighs, moving up again to nestle between
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her legs, to smolder in her womb. It spread upwards as well,
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moving along her skin and setting it ablaze, turning her nipples
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into pointed rosettes and moving toward her center, until finally
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it touched the pit of her heart.
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She stood, and moved toward the closet to dress. She told
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herself that she had no choice, that the dream was in control of
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her. It was easier than admitting that she wanted what the dream
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had to offer.
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The bar had no name, other than BAR. She stood in front of
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its gaudy red neon and its signs proclaiming COORS and MILLER On
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Tap. The sole window was heavily curtained, and the door was a
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solid wood portal, keeping the world out and its patrons in.
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She had asked the taxi to stop here after passing by
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countless other places, establishments more well-known and better
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furnished than this. Trendy singles bars, dance clubs, places
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with live music or canned music or no music at all; a club
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downtown catering to orange-spike-haired aficionados of loud
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music and full-contact dancing; a bar full of ferns and imported
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beer and men and women in expensive sweaters and designer jeans,
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each with an edge of desperation in his or her eyes; a club with
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a long admittance line, and a muscular, well-groomed man at the
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door eyeing each potential entrant, judging their worthiness to
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enter.
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She had almost stopped here, not doubting that she could
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have gotten in, no questions asked. After some thought as to
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what to wear, she had settles on a black jersey dress, its light
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knit fabric clinging oh-so-gently to her body, briefly hugging
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her hips before flowing freely around her legs, gracefully
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accenting her shoulders and arms. The open neckline sometimes
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slid down a little over one shoulder; she had discovered that the
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effect was intensified if she pretended not to notice, and if she
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went braless, as she was now. She had also worn black open-toed
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shoes, the heels bringing out the shape of her calf, and a purse
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of matching black fabric. The look was designed to convey
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innocence masking a secret knowledge.
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Now, though, she felt the innocence winning out, becoming
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uncertainty. She had been vaguely dissatisfied with each bar and
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club, running an exorbitant fare crisscrossing the downtown area
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looking for a place that felt right. On one traverse of the
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city, the driver had taken a shortcut along a little-used street;
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and she had spotted the bar, quickly telling the driver to pull
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over, paying the fare absent-mindedly, not noticing the driver
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pull away.
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*Something* about this place had caught her eye.
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This is insane, she thought, not for the first time since
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leaving her apartment. It's nearly one A.M. and you're standing
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in front of a bar in God knows what part of town, wearing an
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outfit that might as well have a sign on it saying Rape Me, and
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you don't even know *why*, do you? She closed her eyes to think.
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As if it had been waiting, growing inside her mind, the
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dream came to her, full-force. She felt again the weight of the
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stranger on her, felt his hands -- not gentle, but not painful,
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as though touch was his only sense -- and hers as well, touching
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him in like manner, kneading him, grasping him, holding his hips
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and pulling forward --
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Her eyes snapped open, she gasped slightly. Where this
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dream had come from, and where its power came from, she did not
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know. She knew only that she had to follow, to find out if this
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tantalizing vision could possibly be real.
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She stepped forward and, her heart pounding, pulled open the
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heavy door.
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Her first impression was one of silence, and darkness. Even
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deserted as it was, the street behind her carried its own noise,
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its own rhythms; and the few streetlights and lit windows along
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the avenue did cast some light. Inside, though, the bar was much
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more dimly lit, catering perhaps to those who do not wish to be
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seen, and who prefer the sound of their own thoughts.
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The change in lighting, however, threw her off for a moment.
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She found herself momentarily blind and deaf, so that for a
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moment her only sensation was the rough feel of the door jamb to
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which she clung with one hand, and the smooth fabric of her purse
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in the other, and the wooden floor beneath her feet; and the
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spasm she felt suddenly, the jump in the indescribable hunger in
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her. I'm very close, she thought.
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As her eyes adjusted, she found, disconcertingly, that the
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few patrons of the bar, whom she had been unable to see, had been
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staring at her. There was a man in working clothes, who turned
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back to his drink uninterestedly; another man, who had not seen
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her and was too involved in his own alcoholic world to notice or
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care; and a third man, near the back.
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It was this third man who captured her attention. He had
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jet black hair, slightly wavy, glossy but not enough to have been
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styled; just long enough not to be stylish, to be different. He
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stood casually, relaxed, the way a cat looks relaxed just before
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it pounces. Leather blazer, black or navy pants, it was too dark
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to tell. Shoulders -- shoulders from ancient Greece or Rome,
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from a statue, the shoulders of an athlete or a swimmer, not the
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weekend-health-club type she was used to. Hands with slightly
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hairy knuckles and long fingers that held his glass, moving as
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though caressing it, as though they could not keep still.
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She turned away, suddenly aware that she had been staring at
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him and trying to forget he had been staring back. She felt a
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hot flush rise in her cheeks as she found a stool at the bar.
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The bartender came and gave her a bored, questioning look; she
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asked for vodka. Nothing fancy, she told herself. One stiff
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drink, maybe that will clear this up. Inwardly, she doubted it.
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The drink arrived; she half-emptied it in one gulp. The
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fluid ran burning down her throat, and she closed her eyes
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briefly.
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Again the vision came to life, this time ten times more
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vivid: her hands on him, pulling him urgently onto her, into
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her; the white-hot feeling as he opened her, thrusting to her
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core in one swift stroke --
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Her eyes snapped open, and the vision faded, mercifully. It
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was so much more intense now, so vivid. She shifted
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uncomfortably in her seat, aware suddenly that she had made
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herself wet. The hunger was growing now, the feeling between her
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legs and in the pit of her stomach almost unbearable.
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Almost against her will, she turned her head toward where
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the man had been sitting, and realized with a start that he was
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gone. She stood stunned for a moment, then looked around the
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bar, and gasped. He was standing right beside her.
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"Hello," he said. Baritone, slightly scratchy; smoker's
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voice. There was a slight tobacco odor to him, blending with the
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scent of a cologne she couldn't place and an indescribable smell
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she could place all too well. She still didn't know where the
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dream had come from, but she knew now that its power had affected
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him too.
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Wordlessly he reached out and touched her hand, which was
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gripping the railing of the bar tightly. His touch was hot,
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electric; her hand relaxed instinctively, and a small whimper
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escaped her lips. She found herself staring helplessly into his
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eyes, his blue-grey eyes that smiled slightly, just as his full
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lips did now. His index finger traced along the back of her
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hand, leaving an itch behind it, a burning itch that kindled a
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fire in her limbs. She had felt weak-kneed passion before, the
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kind every schoolgirl feels, but this was different, opposite.
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She felt energized by it, restless. Her knees weren't weak; on
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the contrary, it was difficult to keep them still and straight.
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She moved her hand so that it was palm-up now, and caressed
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his palm with her nails. His eyes clouded ever so slightly,
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still fixed on hers as hers were fixed on his, and she knew that
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the dream, the terrible vision was not hers alone. She slid off
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the barstool and stood, her hand still moving against his, no
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longer caressing or tickling but rubbing now, gently,
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palm-to-palm.
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God, this is insane, she thought. Please let it stop -- no,
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not stop -- just end; please let me find a way to feed this
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hunger....
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He took a step backwards, and she moved likewise. He turned
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then, and walked toward the back of the bar, toward an unmarked,
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unremarkable door. The eye contact broken, she stopped, feeling
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like a marionette suddenly hung on a hook, without guidance.
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Again she felt the uncertainty, the fear -- the words Rape,
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Abuse, Kidnap flashing through her brain -- and then the hunger
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flexed again, sending a pulse through her, strong, almost animal.
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Without thinking she moved forward, feeling as though she were
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floating rather than walking, catching up to him as he held the
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door open for her. She entered into another darkness.
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The room was almost exactly as she had seen it in the
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vision: plain, featureless, only a bed without blankets or
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topsheet for furniture, the head against one wall, sitting on the
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floor without a frame. Who has a bed in a bar? she thought.
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This is ludicrous. The difference between the room in the dream
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and this room was that the dream-room had had that sourceless
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illumination only a dream can have, while this room was dimly lit
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by light leaking through the door jamb at the top. Her eyes
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adjusted quickly, after the dimness of the bar.
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She turned, and saw him shedding his jacket, not quite
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smoothly, as though he too didn't quite know what to do next.
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The dim light streaked across his face, casting deep shadows,
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accentuating his cheekbones and his lips. Half-illuminated, he
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looked incomplete, a mere shell, as though the surface of him --
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his skin, his lips, his hands -- was all she knew of, all
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she wanted.
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She felt adrift now, moved by forces she could not see or
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control; and those forces moved her to him now, moved her hands
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to his head, to his cheeks. She stroked his skin, held him, bent
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her head back as she pulled him to her lips; felt him move
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willingly, without protest; and then felt the excruciating touch
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of his lips on hers.
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The kiss was energizing, electrifying, burning; she felt her
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lips part to receive his, the press of his flesh, just the barest
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hint of tongue; and suddenly the smoldering in her mind and
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between her legs burst into flame, and she wrapped her arms
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around his neck, trying to drink him in, to consume him. His
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hands slid up her back, and their tongues wrestled; small moans
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escaped from both of them. She felt her hips undulating, and
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couldn't stop -- didn't want to stop, she realized. This was the
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dream made reality, the spirit made flesh: this man to whom she
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had not said one word, possessing her and she him, in an
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anonymous room, for no reason other than sensation and pleasure.
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He pulled back suddenly, breaking the kiss, and looked at
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her. All trace of a smile was gone now from his face, replaced
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now by a look of hunger, unmasked now, unconcealed. He put his
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hands on her shoulders, gripped the neckline of her dress,
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grasped, pulled suddenly apart. The fabric ripped violently, and
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she recoiled with a gasp. Her breasts bounced, steadied, their
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hard nipples proclaiming her arousal. She stepped backward
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toward the bed, and he followed. The backs of her knees touched
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the mattress. She reached out for him, and clutching a lapel in
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each hand, fell back onto the bed, pulling him onto her.
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Their lips met again, hungrily, their tongues seeking each
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other. She pushed him away suddenly, still holding his shirt,
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and pulled with all her strength. Buttons popped and flew, and
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she grasped his shirt lower and finished the task, ripping the
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cloth off him. His chest stood bare now, almost hairless, the
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muscles well-defined in a way that suggested, not workouts, but
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honest use. Briefly she wondered who he was, what he did -- but
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only briefly; she didn't know and didn't want to; this body, and
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the force driving it, were all she wanted now.
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She ran her hands over his chest as he ripped the remainder
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of the fabric off her body. She had debated going out without
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panties, and had decided against it; now she regretted the
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decision. She wanted to be naked now, to be exposed before this
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man, and for him to be exposed to her. She acted on the second
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desire, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants quickly,
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fumblingly. She felt his legs move, and heard his shoes drop to
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the floor as he slipped them off, first one, then the other. She
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finished with his pants, and he hurriedly slid them off onto the
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floor, along with his briefs.
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He was totally naked now, exposed, as she had wanted; and he
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was indeed like a statue, like a Greek god, the muscles in his
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legs as developed as those in his chest, hips not too narrow,
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ample enough for a good grip (a dream-image flashed through her,
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of her hands on those hips, pulling him into her), his cock hard,
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throbbing now with need.
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She put her hands to the waist of her panties to slide them
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off, and then, on impulse, pulled instead, ripping them. His
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hands joined hers, ripping the remainder of the fabric; she lay
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now exposed, the scent of her wafting into his nostrils and his
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brain and his mind, as he closed his eyes, the fire no doubt
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building in him as it was in her.
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She began to slide her shoes off with her toes, but he was
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on her suddenly, his lips against hers, then on her neck, as his
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hips thrust at her and his cock pushed against her belly, then
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slid down, seeking the heat between her legs. She opened her
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legs, pulling her thighs open with her hands as she had done in
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the dream, as he moved farther down, nestling father into her;
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and then he slid forward again, and she bucked her hips in
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response, as he entered her, penetrating her to her very core in
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one stroke.
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She cried out then, the first truly audible sound she'd made
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since entering the bar, but her cry was quickly muffled by his
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lips. They fought again with their tongues, she trying again to
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drink him in, at the same time thrusting her hips to meet his as
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she tried to posers him this way also. She bit his neck, pulled
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at his hair, ran her nails over his skin; she flicked at his
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nipples, as hard as hers now, eliciting a cry from him; he pulled
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at her breasts, nibbling, nipping, pinching her nipples; and all
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the while they moved, bucked, slammed against each other.
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His cock speared her again and again, hard and fast,
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reaching some center deep within her that knew nothing but white,
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clear pleasure. Her pussy closed around him, hugged him,
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clasping him in a grip which knew no surcease, which would never
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let him free, not while this intense pleasure could continue.
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Her legs spread wide for him, letting him deeper; her feet, still
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encased in the shoes, caressed his calves and the backs of his
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knees.
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Suddenly the center deep within her exploded, a white-hot
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burst that stole her breath and her senses, left her falling
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endlessly in a world of pleasure. Dimly she was aware of his
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motions, and of hers, but she sensed nothing directly, nothing
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but the fire which burned her mind to ashes, left her with
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nothing but desire, nothing but lust.
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She found her breath, and screamed, as the explosion
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repeated itself, her pussy throbbing, squeezing the cock within
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it now, as she reveled in the sensation. She felt him move
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faster now, working toward his own release, and she moved to
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help, feeling the fire inside her building once again. She
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flicked at his nipples, bit his neck, rocked her hips in time
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with his motions, felt herself throb inside as she tried to coax
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his pleasure out of him.
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He stiffened, and she thrust her hips toward him, impaling
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herself deeply; and she felt the first wild, liquid burst, his
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entire body shuddering with the release of it. He arched his
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back, and she moved to follow, as he spasmed again and again, his
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release fueling her passion, bringing her closer to her own
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immolation once again.
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Suddenly she felt him relax, though his cock was still hard
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inside her. Her own climax was only moments away, but he had
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stopped; he was not moving. Desperately, almost angrily, she
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brought her legs up, and, still wearing the shoes, dug her spike
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heels into his thighs, spurring him.
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He gasped, and fell forward, and into her again. She flexed
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her legs even more, bringing her knees even with her breasts, and
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prodded him again, this time in his rear, at the top of his
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thighs.
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She brought her hands down to his buttocks, pulling him into
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her desperately, raking her nails across his skin. She needed
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him -- no, she thought, not him. She needed cock -- pure, sweet,
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and simple, nothing and no one attached, just this, yes, just
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pure unadulterated pleasure, just a cock to fill her, to touch
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her so deeply, where she couldn't touch herself, to fill her and
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ram into her, to stroke her, spread her, open her. Nothing but
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cock -- no name, no face, nothing else, just this.
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She was building toward her own private explosion again --
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as was he, impossibly, as she felt him shudder and stiffen again,
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his cock going very hard and meeting her center again. She
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summoned all her strength then, and stopped, holding him still,
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prolonging the moment, her mouth open in a silent scream;
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stretching the pleasure until it became unbearable, agonizing,
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until her entire body was straining for release, and she thought
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Yes, yes, just a little longer, just a moment, stretch it until
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it's more than I can take, until I want to die from it, want it
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to possess me and take me, to burn me, to consume me, yes, yes --
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She arched her back, meeting his hips one last time, impaling
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herself impossibly deeply, her scream matching his, feeling
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herself throbbing, not merely between her legs but from head to
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toe, her arms and legs locking around him, holding him tight, as
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she felt him spend himself inside her, writhing against her,
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unable and unwilling to escape her passion, his hands balling
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into fists behind her back, striking the mattress, his thighs and
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arms clenching, relaxing, clenching, and relaxing again, as he
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laid down on her and she released her grip on him, caressing him,
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soothing him as he did her.
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The fire was gone now, and a kind of sad peace crept into
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her mind and heart. She lay with her head to one side, hearing
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his breathing subside as he caught his breath. And suddenly,
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unbidden,
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a thought went through her head as she felt herself dozing off in
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this stranger's arms:
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To sleep...perchance to dream....
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by thomas frost
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--
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