528 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
528 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
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From: jeremyl@screech.owlnet.rice.edu (Jeremy Lyn Hart)
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Our group's anthem used to go something like this:
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One hundred goblins with spears on the walls,
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One hundred goblins with spears,
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Knock one down, kick him around,
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Ninety nine goblins with spears on the walls!
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Ninety nine goblins with spears on the walls,
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...
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==================================================================
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From: jeremyl@screech.owlnet.rice.edu (Jeremy Lyn Hart)
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I remember seeing an adventure in DUNGEON Magazine, one where the
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players get to be monsters, and there was the greatest song:
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"If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend,
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If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend,
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If you're nasty and you know it, and you really want to show it,
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If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend..."
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==================================================================
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From: jik20815@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (John Iv Kovacik)
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In a similar manner, when attacked by slaad, we started
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Forty-eight Blue and Grey Slaad at the door,
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Forty-eight Blue and Grey Slaad,
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Take one down, they gate in two more,
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Forty-nine Blue and Grey Slaad at the door...
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And, on a more pop-like note, our paladin sang:
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'When I'm smacked by slaad I touch myself, I touch myself...'
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==================================================================
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From: kinnema@wkuvx1.bitnet (Mark Kinney of the Too Many Nicknames)
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THE ALPHA COMPLEX SONGBOOK
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(from the Paranoia module _Send in the Clones_)
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SEND IN THE CLONES
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Isn't it great
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Isn't it keen
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Living in complexes ruled by machine.
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Where are the clones?
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There ought to be clones.
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Send in the clones...
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Isn't it rich
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Do we have six?
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Well then let's go Troubleshooters-
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C'mon, lets mix...
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Where are the clones?
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There ought to be clones.
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Send in the clones...
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Just when I start
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Opening doors,
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Looking for mutants and traitors
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on ceilings and floors.
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Shooting my laser again with no malfunction roll...
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Enemy bots...
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Taking a toll...
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Don't you love farce?
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Traitors abound.
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Won't you just go to the corner,
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And look around?
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Where are the clones?
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There ought to be clones.
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Send in the clones.
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I'm just so mad,
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It makes me red
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This is my very first mission-
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Already I'm dead.
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Where is my clone?
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I must have a clone.
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Send in my clone.
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WHAT THE HELL IS RAIN
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(to the tune of "Who'll Stop the Rain")
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Long as I remember
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The complex is underground.
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Miles of twisty tunnels;
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no exit to be found.
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Would-be nature lovers
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Tryin' to find the sun,
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But I wonder; still I wonder:
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What the hell is rain?
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I went up six levels
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Seekin' old man Yasgur's farm.
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But Guardbots wearing kevlar
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Grabbed me by the arms.
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"The Computer plans a new you."
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"You must have gone insane..."
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What a blunder, but I wondered:
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What the hell is rain?
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Now working in the foodvats,
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My mind's not on escape-
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While a Plasma Generator
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Guards against mistakes.
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Machines are barkin' orders:
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"The Computer is your friend!"
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But I wonder, still I wonder:
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What the hell is rain?
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I'M JUST WILD ABOUT MUTIE
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I'm just wild about mutie.
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And mutie's wild about me.
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Computerly blisses--boos and kisses.
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Commie's the way to be.
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Life's sweet just like processed algae.
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And just like Teela on TeeVee.
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Oh I'm just wild about muties.
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And they're just wild about-
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Cannot live without-
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They're just wild about ME!
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I'M AN ALPHA COMPLEX DANDY
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I'm an Alpha Complex Dandy.
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Alpha Complex do or die.
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A new clone version of my last five clones.
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Like them I know I'll soon die.
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I've got an Alpha Complex sweetheart.
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Teela is my Alpha Joy.
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Troubleshooters find the Commies.
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Beat the mutants senseless.
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I am an Alpha Complex boy!
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I'm an Alpha Complex dandy.
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Troubleshooter do or die.
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A clone replacement of my former self.
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Soon I will probably fry.
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I've got to serve my friend Computer.
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If I don't, I know I'll die.
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Kill the Commie infiltrators,
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Also Troubleshooters.
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I am an Alpha Complex guy!
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I'M AN ALPHA COMPLEX COMMIE
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(Subversive version of the above)
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I'm an Alpha Complex Commie.
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Alpha Complex do or die.
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A new clone version of my last five clones.
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Like them, I know I'll soon die.
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I'm not an Alpha Complex sweetheart.
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Girls are just the same as boys.
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Commie mutants beat computers.
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Troubleshooters, phooie!
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I'm not an Alpha Complex toy!
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IT'S ALL OVER NOW LEVEL BLUE
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(to the tune of "It's All Over Now Baby Blue")
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"You must leave now," the guardbot says.
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"An' I don't think you'll last...
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So keep your lasers handy,
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You better draw 'em fast."
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We understand your orders aren't much fun,
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Running from a glowing Plasma Gun.
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Look out now there's mutants coming through,
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And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.
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RED LEVEL is for gamblers,
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Better use your Mutant sense.
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Take notes on all e-vents that are trea-son-ous.
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The empty-headed Funbot's about to speak,
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Emitting awful jokes you heard last week.
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The complex is falling in on you,
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And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.
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Leave your secret society behind,
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The Computer calls for you.
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Forget the friends you had
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They have re-ported you...
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The warbot that's breaking down your door,
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Is programmed in a way you can't ignore...
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Hope your next clone will try and start anew,
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'Cause it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.
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After working in the foodvats,
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You're back at home,
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And the smell from down there won't leave you alone...
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Your next clone has just walked in the door,
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He says, "report for termination number four."
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The floor is now moving under you,
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Oops, its all over now LEVEL BLUE...
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KELP!
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Kelp! to feed my body.
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Kelp! not just algae, buddy!
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Kelp! don't even need a bun.
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KELP!
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When I was stronger so much stronger than today.
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I used to eat french fries with ketchup everyday.
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But now those days are gone and I'm just not really sure.
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To be quite frank, ya know; did our lunch really once have fur?
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Kelp! it taste so good now don't you know?
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And it makes me want to crawl to bed and snore.
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Help me keep my lunch up off the floor.
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Won't you please, please ban kelp.
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ALPHA COMPLEX BATTLE HYMN
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(From 2nd Edition Paranioa GM's Screen)
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Mine eyes have seen the coming of another Commie horde,
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If I can hold them off alone Hot Fun is my reward,
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"Please engage the menace, Citizen" I hear on my comcord,
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When will the Vultures arrive?
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(Chorus)
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Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
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Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
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Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
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My clone keeps marching on.
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They're advancing on all sides now and I'll soon be overrun,
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I try to open fire but there's a malfunction with my gun,
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So I toss a nuke grenade and then turn tail and run,
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When will the Vultures arrive?
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(Chorus)
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The Commies are all vapor now and for that I'm real glad,
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My geiger-counter indicates I took a thousand rad,
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I check with the Computer and find out that's not too bad,
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When will the docbot arrive?
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(Chorus)
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==================================================================
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From: blackman@acsu.buffalo.edu (Cathbad Ogmah Fili: atu agere, atu mori)
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If everyone around the world
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were to summon the Cthulhu, repeat twice
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all at the same time:
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There'd be no place to walk to.
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There'd be no where to hide. sing only once
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There would be no where to run to.
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And there ain't no place you could fly to.
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Repeat until everyone sings and the Great God appears. Then Run LIKE
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HELL!!!
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==================================================================
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From: monson@girtab.usc.edu (Jayson Monson)
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When the axe of eternity
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falls upon the moon
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When the Lords of the hells
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sit upon bone thrones
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When time itself
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becomes unraveled
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That is when I shall ride.
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==================================================================
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From: rsmith@ecs.umass.edu
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Here's my opinion about munchkins. Follow the bouncing ball
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to the tune "Fishheads".
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The Munchkin Song
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Munchkins, munchkins
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Wally jolly munchkins
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Munchkins, munchkins
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You're no fun.
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You can't take a munchkin
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to a city
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They will kill
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everyone there.
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Munchkins, munchkins
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Wally jolly munchkins
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Munchkins, munchkins
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You're no fun.
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You can't reason
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with a munchkin
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They're too busy
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collecting swords.
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Munchkins, munchkins
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Wally jolly munchkins
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Munchkins, munchkins
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You're no fun.
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You can't give a gift
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to a munchkin
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They already have
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five of those.
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Munchkins, munchkins
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Wally Jolly munchkins
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Munchkins, munchkins
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Your no fun.
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==================================================================
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From: resst11@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Ryk E Spoor)
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Written by Carl Edlund
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I have a class of enchanters in my world called MusicMages. In order to
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play one, you have to be able to write up good verses for each spell.
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(None of this using popular songs crap. though for really GOOD songs I
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sometimes make an exception). I had one player who was SUPERLATIVE at
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this. Below is his song for the very powerful Arduin druidic spell, the
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Stone that Weeps in Silence (turn you to stone but leave you conscious!)
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"Gorgon's breath, medusa's wink, or crazy divine whim
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A blink, a waft, a peek and then
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Eternity within.
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Life should not be wasted
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And the living rocks do weep
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Silent in their knowledge that
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Your soul they do now keep.
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Noble marble, solid granite
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Fragile quartz and more,
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Become the tissue of your bones,
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Filling blood and pore.
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So STAND THERE AS A STATUE
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Until Armageddon ENDS;
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Not of flesh or bone, but STONE
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'Til erosive time wears thin!
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In the lifetime of the Gods
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Eternity's but a flicker;
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And the magic I am forming
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Shall fade away no quicker."
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==================================================================
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Songs of Praise
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Azathoth is in his chaos
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We know he's a really big boss
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Now if only he don't slay us
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Then that's good enough for me.
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Hari Krishna he must laugh on
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To see me dressed in saffron
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With my hair that's only half on
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and that's good enough for me
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If you're really into dancing
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And want to try some trancing
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Then the voodoo gods are prancing
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And that's good enough for me
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We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
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Light a candle for Yog-Sothoth
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If we're good we'll send a Shoggoth
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And that's good enough for me.
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It was good enough for Loki
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Where he goes, it sure get's smokey
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He thinks Thor's a little hokey
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And he's good enough for me
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And the gods tore into Loki
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Saying "Dei-cide is hokey"
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So Thor threw him in the pokey
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And that's good enough for me
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Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus's
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Though he's lost his vital juices
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Still the old boy has his uses
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And he's good enough for me.
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There's one thing I do know
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Zeus's favorite is Juno
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She's the best at, well, you know
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And she's good enough for me.
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When we worship Bacchus
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The ethanol will sock us
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We'll all get good and raucous
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And that's good enough for me.
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We will venerate old Bacchus
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Drinking Beer and eating Tacos
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'till you've tried it please don't knock us
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'cause it's good enough for me.
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Let's all drink to Dionysus
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His wine and women beyond prices
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He made a Maenad out of my Sis
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And that's good enough for me
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Let us dance with Dionysus
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And get drunk on wine and spices
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The Christains call them vices
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But they're good enough for me
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It was good enough for Cupid
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And the tricks to which he stooped
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'thou his wings are kinda stupid
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But he's good enough for me
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No one wrote a verse for Buddha
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Though I think they really could'a
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And I really think they should'a
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'cause he's good enough for me
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There are some who practive Shinto
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There's no telling what they're into
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Though I guess we could begin to
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But that's good enough for me
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Warriors for Allah
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Are sure to have a gala
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time in old Valhalla
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And that's good enough for me
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Any time that I start hearin'
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"Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
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May-be so, but not like Brirn [sp?]
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And he's good enough for me
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And though J.C.'s into fish too
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He's an avatar of Vishu
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So he's welcome here to
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And that's good enough for me
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And for those who follow Cthulhu
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We've really got a lulu
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Drop a bomb on Honululu
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Cause thats good enough for you
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We it's good enough for Hastur
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He's a mighty kinky master
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When you pray he goes much faster
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And that's good enough for me
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Good old Thor's the god of thunder
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Really helped us get our plunder
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Though his head's still truely dunder
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He's still good enough for me
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There are those who worship science
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And some would send 'em to the Lions
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But without 'em we'd have no appliance
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So they're good enough for me
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( slight variations on previous posted lyrics )
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In the names of Thor and Odin
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Don't you know there's a war on?
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Grab a axe and get your woad on
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And it's good enough for me
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It was good enough for Odin
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Though that croakin' was forebodin'
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Till at last the Giants rode in;
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Still it's good enough for me!
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In the church of Aphrodite
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The Priestess wears a see through nightie
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She's a mighty righteous sightie,
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And she's good enough for me
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Let us worship Aphrodite
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She is beautiful, but flighty
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She doesn't were a nightie
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But she's good enpough for me
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==================================================================
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From: kroth@david.wheaton.edu (Ken Roth)
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To be sung to the tune of "jingle bells"
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Hack and slash
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Hack and slash
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Killing all the way
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Oh what fun
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It is to run
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Fighting come what may
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(repeat)
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See the Clerics turn
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See the Rangers fight
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See the Mage draw back his bow--
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DUCK! HE'S ON YOUR RIGHT
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refrain
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Watch the oozes burn
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See the Stank alight
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Oh what fun it is to sing
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A slaying song tonight
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refrain
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