560 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
560 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
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From: rossi@opal.cs.tu-berlin.de (Oliver Rosenkranz)
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Subject: Famous Last Words List
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Message-ID: <1992Nov25.155852.17967@cs.tu-berlin.de>
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Organization: Techn. University of Berlin, Germany
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Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1992 15:58:52 GMT
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Lines: 551
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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FAMOUS LAST WORDS 237 items last change: 11-25-92
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collected by Oliver Rosenkranz (rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de)
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Thanx to the following persons and groups...
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Jens Fiedler
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UKC Adventure Gaming Society
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Jim Vassilakos
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gregs@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (don't know his 'real' name)
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Thomas Mueller
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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001-"Let's go in."
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002-"Let's not go in."
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003-"I follow them."
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004-"I stab the dragon and tell it to get off me."
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005-"I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that it's the
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extra-healing potion."
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006-"I kill it."
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007-"Let me handle this."
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008-"Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"
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009-"What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over
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again..."
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010-"I though YOU brough the food!"
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011-"Why is your torch flame turning blue?"
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012-"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
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013-"Trust me."
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014-"I never get lost."
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015-(A corridor ahead is full of brown mold)
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"I cast Fireball down the hall, then send my fire elemental to investigate."
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016-"Dammit, this thing won't die!"
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017-"I bet without Mjolnir you're a real wuss."
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018-"He hit me for HOW MUCH?????"
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019-"They're only kobolds!"
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020-"Hey, this chest just bit me!"
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021-"I try to move silently in plate armor..."
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022-"I didn't find any traps !!"
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023-"Wonder what this button does ?"
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024-"Don't worry, he is probably just first level."
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025-"This 250' wall has so many holes, it should be easy to climb."
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026-"I'll just close my eyes and walk up to the dracolisk holding up my mirror"
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027-"Can I eat this green slime?"
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028-"I'll just walk up to the dragon invisibly"
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029-"Why is this man speaking in sign language?"
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030-"This type of undead can't drain levels"
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031-"I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"
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032-"We are in luck! The dragon is sleeping"
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033-"That's only a statue"
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034-"There is no trap on the door, so let's open it"
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035-"Look, behind you!!!" Said by a gnome(pc) to an ogre as a disliked
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parttymember crept up. End of the other member.
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036-"I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything is!"
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037-"Don't worry, the DM won't hose me"
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038-"We'll untie the prisoners and lock them in the closet."
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039-"Why can't we take Clarissa (Disguised evil high priestess) with us?"
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040-"How much will you give me for this idol I found (cursed)?"
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041-"I'm not powerful enough, can't you just give me second level."
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042-"Don't I get the farie fire bonus on my parry."
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043-Star Wars:"Stormtroopers can't hit a Wampa at this dist..."
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044-Traveller:"Who took the battery out of my grav belt?"
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045-"They're wearing blue robes? They must be Druids. Roll for initiative,
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suckers." (At which point the polymorphed Bone Devils ate him.)
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046-"I see HOW MANY wights?!" (from the crypts of Ravenloft)
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047-"Don't worry, wyvern don't attack unless they're provoked."
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048-"You watch the door, I'll take out the Gas Spore (Beholder) that's guarding
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the treasure."
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049-"A Nightmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare to run."
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050-"I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the dragon."
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051- "They need a twenty to hit me, I'm invincible"
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052-(While trapped in a dungeon..) : "Don't worry, I have a plan!!!"
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053-"I bet that without Mjolnir you're a real wimp."
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054-"Who's the bitch with the spiders?"
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055-"We killed all monsters on this level."
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056-"I've been here before. There are no traps in this section."
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057-"What do you mean 18 meter long crocodile--you just said crocodile."
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058-"Well ...., I'll touch it again"
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059-"I attempt to disbelieve"
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060-"I cast a fireball" (into a 10'x10'x10' room)
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061-"I know if I draw a card I'll get the VOID."
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062-GM:"You're very lucky, you all don't know how lucky you are! Save or take
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210 points of damage"
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063-GM:"You don't get your +5 for being a dwarf, because it's special bodak
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power"
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064-" It's OK, I trust her..." ... *BOOM!!!!!!*
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065-"Stand back you wimps. I'll kill it."
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066-"Oops."
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067-"OK! I moon the Balrog!"
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068-"My first arrow MISSED the magic-user pointing at me?? OK, I shoot again!"
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069-"Where'd that thief go now?"
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070-"Trap? What trap?"
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071-"So what?"
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072-"Don't be silly. If this was really the ship's "Self-Destruct Button",
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do you think they'd leave it lying around where anyone could press it?"
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073-"Hmmm...the sign on the door says, "AIRLOCK". I wonder what's inside."
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074-"You're all a bunch of wimps!! I'll prove to you myself that an entire
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orc stronghold is no match for your average barbarian."
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075-"All right, we're in an unexplored dungeon in total darkness with no
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light sources or infravision...Hey, I know!! Let's yell and scream a lot
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so we can locate each other by sound!!"
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076-"I'm going to kill our captives anyway, and I don't give a damn whether
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the other goody-good PC's like it or not."
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077-"Y'know, since our druid's been so obnoxious, it would probably serve him
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right if we set his precious forest on fire."
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078-"A clever bluff, Agent N42, but not clever enough. You see, right away I
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recognized your `pistol' as a cleverly disguised cigarette lighter."
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079-"A creature with two BABOON heads on a scaly REPTILIAN body? With
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TENTACLES for arms? Hunh. Must be some stupid wizard's magical construct.
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Let's kill it."
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080-"Yes, it's true I humiliated the DM in front of the debating team
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Wednesday, but he's much too broad-minded to take it out on my character."
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081-"OK, O Mighty Odin, as long as you're not gonna answer my prayers, I'm
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gonna tell ya what I REALLY think of ya!"
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082-"I drop trough and expose myself to the arch-mage as a gesture of contempt."
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083-"Well, guys, I'm sorry my activities in the last town got us all tarred
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and feathered, but you're not going to hold that against me, are you?"
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084-"No, I'm sure there's some stipulation that says a disintegrate spell
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won't work if the spellcaster casts it on himself. Here, I'll prove it."
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085-"Oops, I spilled flaming oil on my beard. I'd better wash it off after
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we kill this fire lizard."
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086-"Well, we know he's LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his word when he
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promised not to betray us."
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087-"So I'm safely across the pit? Whew! For a minute there I was worried
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that you might remember my encumbrance penalties."
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088-"Well, as long as I've stumbled into Princess Savitra's bedroom, I might
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as well try to seduce her."
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089-"Thank God!! A hobgoblin camp up ahead! Maybe they can help heal our
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wounded!"
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090-"Don't worry! The chances of me blowing a climb walls roll twice, at my
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level, are infinitesimal."
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091-"All right, I jump...Now on the way down, I activate my ring of feather
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fall...no, wait, didn't I lend it to Jim?"
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092-"So you're Tiamat, huh? Are you evil? Yes? Would you like to convert?"
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093-"I cast a `gate' spell and gate in the Iraqi Air Force."
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094-"Well, *I* trust our party thief, and if he says this door isn't trapped,
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that's good enough for me."
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095-"Well, I didn't much like this character, anyway...Here goes nothing..."
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096-"I swing the Toxic Avenger's mop at the grenade so I can bat it across the
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room at the aliens...Wait! Isn't that grenade Contact Fused ???"
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097-"All right, I guess Toronaga's right. There can't possibly be anything on
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the other side of this airlock. Why not open the damned thing."
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098-"Whistling sounds? Naw, they can't have a grenade launcher!"
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099-"Okay, there's nothing guarding the bridge. I go through the door and find
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the helm."
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100-"They can't possibly outflank us. We have a multi-scanner!"
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101-"Come on! Arrows versus Kevlar?"
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102-"What do you mean Tsu Han's pilotting the shuttle? Does he even have
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Insystem Pilot? WHY ARE YOU SMILING AND SHAKING YOUR HEAD?"
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103-"So that giant fell into the pit? I'll jump over it and get his treasure."
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104-"Oh, that sorceress looked a little pale when she examined the mirror which
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has the pentagram in front of it on the floor. I think I'll break the
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mirror."
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105-"It's not trapped, you just want it to yourself."{He still got it for
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himself.}
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106-"Me first Me first."
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107-"Dinosaur? Hey, no problem, right Balinor?"
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108-"You call yourself a barbarian, you son of a witch ?"
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109-To powerful demon: "Try me sh*t breath!"
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110-To sleeping dragon: "Oops, sorry...didn't mean to disturb you."
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111-"Come on, we haven't found any traps so far."
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112-Ranger: "What do I see?"
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DM:"Do you remember the trap that killed Indy's guide in Raiders of the
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Lost Ark?"
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113-"Diamonds ... Gold... Saphires !!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're
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rich, we're fabulously wealthy !!!! ...Terry ..... Terry ??"
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114-"Let's walk this way."
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115-"Hey folks, follow me, I remember the way to the dungeon exit."(Lost)
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116-"I never get to have any fun!"
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117-"You mean they get to use the critical hit chart too?"
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118-"Hey, I know a dragon when I see one."
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119-"What do you mean the whole room we're in detects as a trap?"
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120-"Hey you! Frost Giant! How's the weather up there?"
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121-"Just watch, I bet I get the one item that's cursed."
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122-"I'm invincible!"
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123-"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing!"
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124-"Stop!"
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125-"A sign labeled `pit'? I walk up to it."
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126-"No problem. That's easy!"
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127-"Hey, I found it. I'm keeping it."
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128-"I think we'll have to reason with him."
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129-"Hah! I'm not dead yet. I still have five hit points."
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130-"Oh, no. We're being rescued. How embarrassing!"
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131-"Yeah, I know it's dangerous, but think of the experience points."
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132-"I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my wand straight up."
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133-"Don't worry. I've got a plan."
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134-"They can't see me. I'm invisible!"
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135-"I wonder what's in here?"
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136-"He wouldn't try that trick again!"
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137-"Trust me, guys."
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138-"Just because you're a dragon doesn't mean you can push ME around."
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139-"They don't look so tough."
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140-"I'm SURE there are no traps."
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141-"I actively disbelieve!"
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142-"What do you mean trolls regenerate!?!"
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143-"Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."
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144-"I'll open it."
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145-"It seems easy enough"
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146-"I think he can be trusted."
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147-"Those noises are probably nothing."
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148-"I'll pull the lever."
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149-"Money!"
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150-"Magic is for wimps."
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151-"Oh. He'll miss. Just look at my AC."
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152-"Oh no! Let's go help them!"
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153-"Run away!"
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154-"I want to kill something."
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155-"All clear, guys."
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156-"Gummy werebears? They should be cake to kill once they turn human."
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157-"Wait a minute, didn't the old man say something about a curse?"
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158-"Hey, where'd all the big spiders come from?"
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159-"Okay, Ed, your underwear explodes!"
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160-"Bob, you have any grenades left? Throw me one..."
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161-"AGAIN!?!?!"
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162-"He shot out my eye? Okay, I tear out my other eye and throw it at him
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as a gesture of defiance."
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163-"I pull the metal ring out of the sphere."(Recognize a Holy Hand Grenade?)
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164-"This is a push-over dungeon."
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165-"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."
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166-"I'll use my taunt skill."
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167-"Your mother was a Gully Dwarf."
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168-"My God will protect me."
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169-"You wouldn't dare!"
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170-"Hey, we're out! We're safe!"
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171-"I'll try it on."
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172-"C'mon! We're a team!"
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173-"You don't look like a mage!"
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174-"It'd be stupid to trap this!"
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175-"I'll kick the door in!"
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176-"It could be dangerous!"
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177-"Here, hold this rope while I go down."
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178-"I thought you brought the food!"
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179-"Well, if you didn't belch, who did?"
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180-"Isn't there anything exciting in this dungeon?" (said to GM)
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181-"Uh guys? Hello? Anyone?"
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182-"Dragons give you a lot of Exp."
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183-"I know an illusion when I see one."
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184-"Who's the bitch with the spiders?" (ahhh! the infamous Lloth)
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185-"I sit on the pale lady with the funny teeth." (Ahhh! the infamous vampire)
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186-"Mysterious shadows in the room? I'm not scared --- you can't spook me!"
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187-"There's a smell of gas, huh? Well, my lantern is hooded. It ought to be
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safe."
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188-"Take off my armor and try to swim? Forget it --- I worked hard to get this
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+3 plate mail. Besides, the DM never lets anyone die --- he wouldn't
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let me drown, would he?"
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189-"I cast a lightning bolt at the ochre jelly."
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190-"Lightning bolts don't ricochet off stone walls, do they?"
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191-"A ballista? What's that? How many dice of damage does it do?" {Twenty.It's like a
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crossbow, only MUCH larger.}
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192-"So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like this can't have
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a very big militia."
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193-"Only six inches long? Ha... Wait, you don't mean six _scale_ inches,
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do you?" {said in miniature-figures-game. Character itself was 3/4" high.}
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194-"...and then I... Uh, guys? Why are looking at me like that? Guys?"
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{After using a spell called "Polymorph Other" }
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195-"What do you mean, `It doesn't work' ?" {Item with no more charges left.}
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196-"Oh these, I've fought them before..."
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197-"Then I'll hit him back!" {spoken at the start of a bar brawl.}
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198-"I'm bored..."
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199-"Quick! What did that scroll say ?"
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200-"How did he dissappear like that ?" {About a hostile warrior with a ring
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of invisibility and two attacks per round.}
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201-"I'll try to pick his pockets." {Pockets belonged to a level 30 mage.}
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202-"Maybe we should just kill him."
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203-"Read it to me." {It was a fireball scroll.}
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204-"You mean there's more ?" {About undeads which entered the room}
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205-"MAGIC ITEMS!"
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206-"He looks like a sunburnt elf? Huh."
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207-"I'll light a fire." (In the woods at night (attracted bears)}
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208-"You'd have to be a GOD to smile after that hit!"
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209-GM:"You DID take the swimming skill?" (to a player when character fell
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overboard.)
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210-"I'll stand guard." (Didn't want to enter orc cave.Orcs were out. Orcs
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came back.)
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211-"What do you mean I hear water?" {in a tunnel}
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212-"I bar the door!" {Door opened inward.}
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213-"I'll cover you!"
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214-"Take out a Beholder's eyes, and Bingo!"
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215-"I can't possibly miss..."
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216-"Don't worry, I can hit him! I can hit him!"
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217-"Shut up, bird!" {to a parrot who happened to be repeating the True Name of
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a demon which subsequently exterminated the party}
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218-"But he has to be our friend!"
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219-"How would you like to have this sword?"
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220-NPC:"Take this ring as a token of my esteem." {This party no longer accepts
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gifts from unknown NPC's.}
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221-PLAYER:"BEGONE THINGS OF EVIL!!!" REPLY:"Begone thing of good."
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222-"I go through the door... Wait, I check for traps!"
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223-"Don't be silly. That kind of monster NEVER follows you."
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224-"I run up to the monster, throw my magic net over it, and try to take the
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jewel from around its neck." {But nets don't stop creatures from biting.}
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225-"Hmmm... odd-colored walls. Well, I touch one." {turned to stone}
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226-"I wonder what the black-and-yellow striped ring above the seat does?"
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{ Ejection Seat. No atmosphere and no vacc-suit.}
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227-"What do you mean, vacc-suit proficiency? I thought it was perfectly
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straightforward, like wearing clothes..."
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[From a character attempting to fight hand-to-hand in one.]
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228-"But the directions SAID to `pull pin and throw' !"
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[From a beautifully role-played traveller character from a non-
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technological world. He was given a scout ship survival pack,
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which among other gimcracks, contained concussion grenades.
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When he got in trouble, of course, he pulled the pin out of
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one and threw it ("it" being the pin, naturally)...]
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229-"Uh, what does 'explosive decompression' mean?"
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230-"Why the hell do you always put `Graf' before your name? Is that this
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backward planet's equivalent of `Duke' or something?"
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231-"Don't worry - I have Pilot-7."
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232-"What do you mean `energy weapons are illegal' ?"
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233-"DO NOT OPEN"
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234-"Easy kill."
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235-"I've got you now!"
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236-"Is this one really able to breath fire?"
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237-"Trust me. I know what I'm doing"
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