701 lines
39 KiB
Plaintext
701 lines
39 KiB
Plaintext
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ ÜÜÜ ÜÜÜÜ
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ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛßÛßßßßßÛÛÜ ÜÜßßßßÜÜÜÜ ÜÛÜ ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÜÜÜÜÛßß ßÛÛ
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Mo.iMP ÜÛÛÜ ßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝÛ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÞÛÛÛÛ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÝ ßÛß
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ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ
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ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ß ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ ÜÛ
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ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÞÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß
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ÜÛßÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÛÛÞÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛßß
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ÜÛßÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÛÛÛÛÜÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÞÛ ßÛÛÛÛÛ Ü ÛÝÛÛÛÛÛ Ü
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ÜÛ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ßÛÜ ßÛÛÛÜÜ ÜÜÛÛÛß ÞÛ ÞÛÛÛÝ ÜÜÛÛ
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ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ ßÛÜ ßßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß ÜÜÜß ÛÛÛÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÛÛÛÛß
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ßßßßß ßßÛÛß ßßßßß ßßßßßßßßßßßßß
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ARRoGANT CoURiERS WiTH ESSaYS
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Grade Level: Type of Work Subject/Topic is on:
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[ ]6-8 [ ]Class Notes [Essay on how It all ]
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[ ]9-10 [ ]Cliff Notes [begins with Attitudes ]
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[ ]11-12 [x]Essay/Report [ ]
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[x]College [ ]Misc [ ]
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Dizzed: 10/94 # of Words:5543 School: ? State: ?
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ>ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ>ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ>Chop Here>ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ>ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ>ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ>ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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IT ALL BEGINS WITH ATTITUDE
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from the seminar
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BREAKING THROUGH LIFE'S BOUNDARIES
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by
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Pat Spithill
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Seminar Leader * Author * Keynote Speaker
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(C) Copyright, 1989, Pat Spithill
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P.O. Box 505 * Hutchins, Texas 75141
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214-225-8051
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This material may not be reproduced or altered without written
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permission of the author and copyright holder.
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The Importance of Attitude
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The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word "attitude" as "a mental
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position or feeling with regard to an object." The mental positions or
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feelings are our thoughts, beliefs and opinions. The object is life. In other
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words, attitudes encompass all of the thoughts, beliefs and opinions which
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people have about their lives.
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Over 2500 years ago, Buddha said, "All that we are is the result of what
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we have thought; it is founded on our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with
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pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."
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Buddha also said, "It is a man's own mind - not his enemy or his foe that lures
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him into evil ways." A person's attitude, what Buddha was speaking of, is the
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very foundation on which his or her life's experience has been, is, and will be
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built. Every part of reality is the result of a person's attitudes. In simple
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terms, our attitudes reflect what we expect from life. This shouldn't be
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confused with what we want, dream or hope for. No one wants to be unhappy,
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lead a boring life or look back over the years with remorse and regret. Yet,
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so often rather than expecting the best life has to offer, people expect much
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the opposite. They expect problems and get problems; expect disappointments
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and are disappointed; expect to fail and then, rather than experience the
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desired success, they fail.
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If attitudes are the mental expectations about jobs, relationships,
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financial status and so on, then these very powerful thoughts must be the
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elements which set the course for our lives and destiny. It isn't life's
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circumstances which create the attitudes; it's the attitudes which create
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life's circumstances. When people change their expectations and attitudes,
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then their lives must surely change as well.
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I know a gentleman who, in the late 1960's, worked as a repossessor of
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logging trucks. If you will, create a mental image of a person who walks up to
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burly truck drivers and says, "I have to either have a payment or the keys,
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whichever you want." I would picture someone about 6'3" and 220 pounds of
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solid muscle. As it happens, Jim Cathcart is 5'9", rather slender and not the
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muscular type. People who repossess cars, foreclose homes, or work for
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collection agencies tend to be negative thinkers. However, one day Jim heard a
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radio program with a message about the power of positive expectations. He
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changed his attitudes and began planning for and expecting an exciting success
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filled future. Today, Jim Cathcart is an internationally recognized leader in
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the field of sales and management seminars and consulting. Jim has written
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eight books, is the co-author of Relationship Strategies, an all time top
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selling audio cassette program from Nightingale-Conant, and is one of the
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highest paid professionals in his business. And all because he expected to
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succeed, he expected the best life could provide.
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This article about building the foundation for your life on the concrete
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blocks of a positive attitude will cover four things: the source of attitudes;
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the difference between directive attitudes and reactive attitudes, how the word
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HALT can help you maintain and strengthen positive attitudes, and specific
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skills and techniques for building expectations for a wonderful and exciting
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life.
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Attitudes - Directive or Reactive
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Most people fail to ever consciously take control of their lives, living
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at the mercy of the prevailing winds of fate. Their attitudes are reactive in
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nature rather than directive. These people constantly respond to changing
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conditions rather than creating situations which suit their purposes.
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If you were to lose your job today, how would you react? What emotions
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would you feel? Would you be angry, incensed, hurt, disappointed? Would you
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go home, feel terrible and beat-up on yourself for hours on end? A little over
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a year ago, just before my wonderful wife Jan and I relocated to the Dallas
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area from Denver, the company for which she worked went through what can only
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be called disastrous changes. Over the course of four months, the firm laid-
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off 90% of its work force, approximately 85 people. Due to decreasing
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revenues, it was obvious to everyone employed by this company that these lay-
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offs were going to take place and that nearly everyone would be affected. The
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only question was, in which lay-off series would a person finally lose his or
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her job. Very few people bothered to prepare for what was about to happen:
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yet, they knew it was coming. Most were shocked, upset and completely taken by
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surprise.
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Of the 85 people, only two prepared and lined up new jobs in advance,
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staying only long enough to collect their severance checks and move onto a
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brighter future. Four people hung on until the very end then, immediately went
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out and found new opportunities. The vast majority, however, seemed to REACT
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in a pessimistic fashion; deciding to live off unemployment for a few weeks or
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months while displaying an attitude of "being laid-off has made my life
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terrible." The lay-offs were not terrible, they just were. The circumstances
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became terrible because these people believed the company controlled their
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professional lives. Rather than taking firm control of the situation, the
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overwhelming response was to do just that--respond and waste a considerable
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amount of energy complaining about the cards life had dealt them. For the
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select few, it was anything but terrible. One woman secured a direct marketing
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position with a large exporter in Hong Kong. Others went to work for various
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competitors or started their own companies. One person transferred to the head
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offices in Dallas. Jan was that person. The situation was identical for every
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person involved. The difference was found in how each dealt with the life
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change. The people who took control of the situation had directive attitudes.
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The people who believed they were at the mercy of this company had reactive
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attitudes.
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As long as people let external forces create their thinking for them, they
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will have little or no control over their lives. When we decide to take charge
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of our beliefs, we take charge of our lives. Whether a person calls it
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positive thinking, enthusiasm, or goal setting, it is nothing short of an "I
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will control my destiny and expect wonderful things from life" attitude.
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Thanks to Jan's expectations, she was transferred to the company headquarters
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with a substantial promotion. In four short years, she rose from a common word
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processor to head the firm's microcomputer systems network. Why? Because that
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is what she wanted and more important - expected.
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If you are ready to discover your own best attitudes, if you are ready to
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begin directing your life by taking command of your thinking, then here is the
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first action step to help you do just that.
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Begin to look at your present attitudes and beliefs about life. Do you
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believe that you can accomplish anything you truly desire? Or, do you believe
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that you are subject to outside influences? Using Worksheet No. 1, write down
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your beliefs about other people, co-workers, supervisors, and the significant
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people in your personal life. Consider and write down your feelings about
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success and your ability to succeed, your attitudes toward money, your health
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and physical well-being. In order to build a new attitude, it's essential to
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know what materials are currently in the foundation on which you will be
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building.
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ATTITUDES WORKSHEET NO. 1
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In order for these ideas to work for you, it is necessary to be completely
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honest with yourself. The purpose of this worksheet is to help you determine
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where you are right now. Do your responses represent reactive or directive
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attitudes?
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1. What do you believe regarding your own potential for personal
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achievement? For example, how much can you accomplish if you set your mind to
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it?
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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2. What are your beliefs concerning the influence of external forces? Do you
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believe that big business, the government or other people can hinder your
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progress? If so, to what extent?
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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3. Describe your general feelings about supervisors and co-workers. Do you
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believe they appreciate your efforts? Are they jealous of your abilities? Are
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you jealous of their abilities or positions?
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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4. Describe the feelings you have for the members of your family. How do you
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perceive your spouse? Do you see more faults now than before? How about your
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children? What do you see in them? Do you believe you gain more joy from your
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family or a sense of responsibility?
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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5. How do you feel about your job? Is it what you would choose if you could
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choose anything? When you are working, does it feel like toil or like play?
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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6. Do you believe you have the ability to change your life? Explain your
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answer.
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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7. If you were faced with being laid-off, knowing well in advance that it was
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coming, what would you do? Would you direct or react to the circumstances in
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which you found yourself?
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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The Source of Attitudes
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A few nights ago, I watched two movies on cable television, THE NATURAL
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and MY FAIR LADY. For some reason, I found myself emotionally drawn into both
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of these movies and began to wonder what affected me so strongly. It was
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because the central characters, Roy Hobbs and Eliza Doolittle, expected to
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overcome what appeared to be impossible odds. For a short period of time and
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with only one chance left, a man in his mid-30's became what he was determined
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to become - the greatest baseball player in history. Eliza Doolittle overcame
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the limitations of her upbringing to rise from flower girl to courtesan.
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Why is it that so few people in this world have an attitude which says, "I
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can and will succeed - I am going to reach my goals." And, how is it that so
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few people ever expect anything from life other than a job, a family, and
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eventual retirement? The answer to both of these questions is that our
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attitudes are seldom our own. They are usually learned from our parents,
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teachers and peers who learned their attitudes from their parents, teachers and
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peers. We expect from life what we have learned to expect from life.
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There are also two ways in which attitudes can be developed rather than
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learned. The more common of these is to form expectations based on intense
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life changing situations. Perhaps the best example I can think of comes from
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my friend Dottie Walters. Some years ago Dottie found herself in need of a job
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in order to make ends meet. She began reading the classifieds and noticed that
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the local newspaper had a position open for an advertising sales
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representative. As Dottie couldn't afford a baby-sitter, she put her two
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daughters in their stroller and headed for the office of the newspaper. With
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daughters in tow and total determination in her heart, she walked into the
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editor's office and literally demanded the job even though she had no
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experience. The editor, not sharing Dottie's vision, did his best to dissuade
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her. Finally, but without admitting defeat, he said, "Fine, you can go out
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there and beat the streets if you want to. It's straight commission. When you
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don't sell anything, maybe then you'll give up on this crazy idea." With her
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two daughters still in the stroller, Dottie took the sales kit and started
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knocking on doors. The rest is history. Part of that history is that she sold
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more advertising for this newspaper than had ever been sold to date. From
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Dottie Walters' need was born determination, and from the determination - an
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attitude. The attitude was, "I can accomplish anything I set my mind to."
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Today, Dottie is a very successful business person, speaker, consultant and
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publisher.
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Unfortunately, it is just as easy to develop negative attitudes as it is
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to develop positive attitudes. Sometimes, when people get hurt through
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relationships, they cease to risk being vulnerable. They hold back in order to
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avoid being hurt again. Their attitude is that the risk is too great. People
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who have failed at a business or career might settle into something less
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satisfying but more "steady." People who have invested and lost money in the
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stock market may decide to play it safe with a savings account.
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Dottie took a risk because, in her own mind, she had nothing to lose. And
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she won. But sometimes, people lose and rather than lose again, quit the
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game. An expectation is developed of, "If I take risks, I am going to lose
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more than I can win." Unfortunately, these people fail to recognize that it is
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impossible to win the game if they're not in the game.
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The third method for developing an attitude or life expectation is to make
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the conscious decision to change how you think and feel. Once the decision has
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been made, it is impossible to ever go back. As Wayne Dyer, the author of the
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best selling book The Erroneous Zones, puts it, "It's like opening a door,
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walking through the door and having it slam shut behind you. There is no way
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back once you've walked through." Although, it takes time and effort to muster
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the necessary belief to make great changes; those changes begin with a
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decision. Every person who has ever read Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill,
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The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, The Power of Positive Thinking by
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Norman Vincent Peale or any of numerous success building books has made a
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conscious decision to change his or her attitudes and expectations of life.
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Once the decision is made, there can be no going back to the old ways. When
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ignored, the desire for personal success and happiness becomes a small
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infection in the heart which continues to tear away at any spirit of failure
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little-by-little until a person can no longer stand to be one of masses. He or
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she must become unique, an inspiration unto herself or himself; seeking out and
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experiencing fulfillment and satisfaction in every area of life, for without
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these things - life loses its meaning.
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Return to the worksheet and write down how you acquired the attitudes
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represented in your responses. If these thoughts and feelings were learned
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from other people, write down the names of the people. If from experiences,
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outline the experience briefly. If from conscious choice, try to recall and
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summarize the events that prompted the change in attitude.
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What You Expect Is What You Get
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Recently I heard an acquaintance say, "Just when I didn't think things
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could get any worse, one more thing went wrong. I really didn't think anything
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else could happen." My observation would be that a great many things could
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still "go wrong." This person wasn't expecting anything different. He was
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content hoping nothing would happen. As he was not expecting changes for the
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better, his attitudes produced nothing but changes for the worse. Conversely,
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Jim Cathcart and Dottie Walters both decided to expect the best.
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Most of the attitudes which we have about life, relationships, careers and
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money have been with us for many years. In fact, thinking about changing
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attitudes and doing it are two very different things. The minute a person
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attempts to alter this mental and emotional foundation, he or she will
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experience what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance." When people believe
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certain conditions are "the way life is," to begin believing otherwise creates
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uncomfortable feelings. For most, the initial response is one of, "I can't.
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Life just doesn't work this way. People are where they are for a reason." In
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short, people begin to rationalize that changing attitudes and life is
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impossible or not meant to be.
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It is meant to be. You are meant to have everything which life has to
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offer. If you didn't believe that, you wouldn't be reading this. Once you
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believe you can improve self-esteem, you can. Once you believe you can control
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your money, you can. Once you believe you can reach your goals, you can. But
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without an "I can" attitude first, none of this is possible.
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As an analogy, in order to build the foundation of a house, it is
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necessary to have a design, the right tools and materials. Who is the
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architect of your new attitudes? You are, and it's time to design a life
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foundation to your unique specifications.
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All of us experience life in many different ways not just financially or
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in terms of a career. We experience physical health, relationships and
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families, mental development, and spiritual beliefs. Each of these things has
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an influence over how we perceive life. Worksheet No. 1 covered where you are
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now. Worksheet No. 2 will be your design for everyday from this point
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forward. Creating new attitudes can be likened to a high jump bar. For these
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new expectations to become part of you, it is important that the sights not
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initially be set too low or too high. It's important to believe in the new
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attitudes and to believe in their realization. This helps reduce the cognitive
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dissonance. Once strong expectations become a way of life, you can raise the
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bar again and again.
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ATTITUDES WORKSHEET NO. 2
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As you answer each of the questions below, stop for a few moments and do
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your best to picture your thoughts. Make sure that you can see these
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conditions or situations as real.
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1. Mental Development: A person can become educated in different ways,
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through reading books, taking correspondence courses, traditional college
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classes, listening to audio cassette tapes and so on.
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"I would feel as if I were knowledgeable if I knew the following things:"
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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2. Spiritual Belief: What a person believes about the nature of the
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universe, God and religion is subjective. Above all else, it should be
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something in which you have faith.
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"I would believe myself to be a spiritual person if I. . ."
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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3. Physical Health: Whenever people are concerned about their physical well-
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being, it is difficult to support positive attitudes in other areas.
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"I would believe I was healthy if. . ."
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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4. Families and Relationships:
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"I would believe my family or relationships were nearly perfect if. . ."
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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5. Career: Without thinking of a specific job title, concentrate on work
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related tasks which give you personal satisfaction. For me, some of the
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elements are communicating both in the written and vocal genres, using a
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computer in my work, sharing ideas for better living, marketing, and
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creativity.
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"The perfect work situation for me would include. . ."
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
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6. Finances: This is perhaps the most difficult area in which to change an
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attitude. There are two distinct sides to this, the amount you earn and the
|
||
amount you spend. And both sides must be represented in your attitude.
|
||
|
||
"I believe I can earn $__________ per year/month/week. With those
|
||
earnings, I could do the following:"
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
You now have a blueprint for your new attitudes, and know what you would
|
||
like to think and feel about life. Concrete and cement are the materials of a
|
||
building's foundation, the material for turning these ideas into attitudes is
|
||
the mind.
|
||
The tools you use are up to you. To continue with the analogy of the
|
||
building, to pour the cement, you could use a portable cement mixer, bring in a
|
||
cement truck, or both. The truck to fill the forms; the portable mixer and
|
||
wheelbarrow for detail work. The tools you use here will determine how fast
|
||
and how well the job can be done. Use the tools which work best for you, as
|
||
many as you can. And, if you think of techniques other than those suggested,
|
||
then by all means adapt them. By the way, any poor expectations should start
|
||
to fade as positive, optimistic attitudes begin to take shape and form.
|
||
Ever since Think and Grow Rich was published, constructive self-talk
|
||
(affirmation) and creative imagery (visualization) have been recommended for
|
||
helping people to experience a new sense of possibility in themselves.
|
||
Unfortunately, there are people and organizations who have made these exercises
|
||
into more than mere tools for self-expression, personal growth and realization,
|
||
as if they were magic wands for changing our lives and the lives of others.
|
||
The truth is that creative imagery and constructive self-talk are nothing more
|
||
than a statement like, "I can see myself. . ." When using creative imagery,
|
||
people begin to deliberately design pictures of where they want life to take
|
||
them, and then view those pictures at specific times when the mind is
|
||
receptive. To use this method for building new attitudes, mentally picture
|
||
sequences of events which support what you will gain from expecting the best.
|
||
Perhaps you can see your family enjoying more quality time together by
|
||
imagining various activities which everyone would enjoy. Maybe you can see co-
|
||
workers acting in concert rather than as individuals, working together as a
|
||
team. Possibly, you may see yourself with 10% more money than you've ever had
|
||
before, with a new car, home, or furniture, taking a fun-filled vacation, or
|
||
starting your own business.
|
||
The next step to using creative imagery involves the right environment.
|
||
Although many people recommend imaging first thing in the morning or right
|
||
before falling asleep, I've found that anytime of day will work provided there
|
||
are no interruptions. My preference is during working hours whenever I need a
|
||
break or in the evenings while relaxing. The time is not as important as the
|
||
setting.
|
||
As well, by speaking pre-determined positive thoughts over and over, a
|
||
person can make these powerful ideas a part of her or his everyday thinking.
|
||
This is called constructive self-talk. The thoughts can be one or two
|
||
sentences long or entire paragraphs. The choice is yours. The thoughts should
|
||
say things which are relevant to your new attitudes.
|
||
If you would like to improve the levels of communication at work, "I am able to
|
||
communicate with everyone effectively," would be good. If you would like to
|
||
improve your personal relationships, "I see __the person's name__ as I saw
|
||
him/her when we were first dating and feel those same attractions again." If
|
||
you would like to improve your health, "I am doing the things necessary to live
|
||
a healthy and happy life." These three examples are brief statements which,
|
||
when read twice each day, will begin to take hold in your mind, creating
|
||
changes in your behavior. I recommend taping your self-talk statements to the
|
||
bathroom mirror and reading them aloud as you're getting ready for work in the
|
||
morning and again while preparing to retire at night. Two excellent books on
|
||
creative imagery and constructive self-talk are, In The Mind's Eye by Arnold
|
||
Lazarus, Ph.D. and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.
|
||
A third method for reinforcing positive expectations is by continually
|
||
exposing yourself to positive ideas through audio cassette tape programs.
|
||
There are numerous publishers of single audio cassette tapes and full length 6
|
||
to 18 tape programs: Nightingale-Conant, Sybervision, and many others. My
|
||
personal choice is Nightingale-Conant. Their catalog is very extensive (over
|
||
100 titles) with a wide range of topics. The price of most 6-tape programs is
|
||
$55. One way to get extra value from your investment is to form a group of
|
||
three to five people. Each member of the group invests in a new program every
|
||
two or three months. Then, share the programs with each other. A terrific
|
||
group exercise is to talk about what you each learned from a program or
|
||
cassette tape and how you can apply the ideas. This can be a great source of
|
||
good ideas and practical feedback. In any event, the idea is to listen to
|
||
something positive almost everyday for 30 to 60 minutes.
|
||
A fourth way to build a more hopeful outlook on life is through
|
||
"association". By associating with people who are doing what you want to do,
|
||
you begin to develop new expectations from the attitudes of others. Become
|
||
acquainted with people who are successful, who earn the kind of money you
|
||
believe you can and should earn. As a member of Toastmasters International, I
|
||
associate with people whose common goal is to develop the ability to speak in
|
||
public. As a member of the National Speakers Association, I spend time with
|
||
other professional speakers further developing my marketing and presentation
|
||
skills. The use of this tool must be a two-way street. It's not just a matter
|
||
of sitting and taking things in, we have to contribute as well. As is always
|
||
the case, we can only get out of something what we put into something.
|
||
The fifth tool is choosing a role model, a person you would like to
|
||
emulate. Should you decide to use this particular method, select your role
|
||
model with care and only after a great deal of consideration. Make very sure
|
||
the person is someone you respect in many ways; a leader in his or her
|
||
profession, a person of good character, someone respected and admired by
|
||
others. In essence, it should be someone that you can look up to and say, "I
|
||
would like to be just like. . ." This provides a very concrete picture of who
|
||
you would like to become.
|
||
The final tool. . . HALT! There are five things represented by the word
|
||
HALT which can cause setbacks in building and maintaining positive
|
||
expectations. The letters stand for the words: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and
|
||
Tired. Whenever a person becomes too hungry, too angry, too lonely or too
|
||
tired, positive attitudes begin to deteriorate. The fifth thing is also
|
||
represented by the "H". It is the word harassed. Remember that you can choose
|
||
how to react to harassment and problems. It may be difficult but try to think
|
||
through the situation rather than emotionalize about it. By thinking your way
|
||
through it, the situation won't seem quite so overwhelming. In a later
|
||
section, I will cover the skills of problem solving. The key is found in
|
||
thinking through a problem rather than getting wrapped up in the feelings and
|
||
emotional responses. For now, anytime you feel your new attitudes slipping,
|
||
ask yourself, "Am I too hungry, too angry, too lonely, too tired or feeling
|
||
harassed?" The answer more often than not will be yes. And for some reason,
|
||
once you know the answer, things begin to return to normal.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Breaking Through The Attitude Boundary
|
||
|
||
The design is ready, the tools have been selected, and the material is in
|
||
place. All that is left is the labor. Realize that building these new
|
||
attitudes can take a few weeks or more depending on how high the sights are
|
||
set, how well ingrained the current beliefs are, and how often you're willing
|
||
to practice. The more you practice and ignore that little inner voice which
|
||
says, "It's not going to work," the more quickly the changes will take place.
|
||
To help you begin this amazing journey, here is one final worksheet. To
|
||
use this action step, choose one new or different expectation for each area of
|
||
your life, something you can begin to believe and feel right now, today. The
|
||
intention is to provide you with a starting point, a tangible beginning. It's
|
||
important for you to succeed at this. Be certain that these first choices are
|
||
believable because this will form the first layer of concrete in your attitude
|
||
foundation.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
ATTITUDES WORKSHEET NO. 3
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Before completing the following sentences, think of one small change you
|
||
could make in terms of your expectations in each area of your life.
|
||
|
||
|
||
1. Mental Development:
|
||
|
||
One thing I would like to begin to learn to do is. . .
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
2. Spiritual Belief:
|
||
|
||
In terms of my spiritual life, I would like to experience more. . .
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
3. Physical Health:
|
||
|
||
To improve my physical well-being, I can. . .
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
4. Families and Relationships:
|
||
|
||
As a family or couple, one thing which would bring us closer together is:
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
5. Career:
|
||
|
||
In my job, I can expect. . .
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
6. Finances:
|
||
|
||
To feel as if I have more control over my finances, I will. . .
|
||
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
____________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Here are some ideas for completing these sentences. Knowledge truly is
|
||
power. Learning new things, however, should never be boring. When people want
|
||
to learn something new, as opposed to being forced to learn something new, the
|
||
learning process tends to feel more like play than work. Think of something
|
||
which you would like to learn about or study over the next 30 days. It may
|
||
involve nothing more than investing a little money and time in a book or audio
|
||
cassette tape and studying the material for four weeks. At the end of that
|
||
time, you will have learned something new. That is only the beginning.
|
||
As mentioned, spiritual expression is a very personal thing. If you
|
||
attend church regularly, one way to further develop yourself spiritually is to
|
||
begin to apply the message in each Sunday's sermon directly to your
|
||
experiences. Or, you might choose to read a book on various spiritual beliefs
|
||
or philosophies, one section at a time, making notes about how the ideas can
|
||
work for you.
|
||
To improve your physical health, perhaps you could begin walking every
|
||
other day or modify your diet. Or, you could begin to appreciate your body
|
||
more by spending 15 seconds in front of the mirror saying, "I like how I look,"
|
||
(whether you believe it right now or not). You may find your health, weight,
|
||
nearly everything responding in very positive ways.
|
||
Families and relationships are an essential part of our lives. Taking a
|
||
little time out of each week to be together as a family or couple, spending
|
||
quality time with each other, helps generate positive feelings, healthy
|
||
communication and enjoyable experiences. Perhaps you could take in a movie, go
|
||
out to dinner, or get a baby-sitter and after a luxurious meal, stay overnight
|
||
in a hotel. The possibilities are nearly endless. Most of all, begin to
|
||
appreciate and be grateful for the significant people in your life. You can do
|
||
this by remembering how you felt when you and your spouse were dating, how you
|
||
felt the day your child was born, how you felt when your family attended your
|
||
high school graduation or other significant moments in your life.
|
||
All too often, a job becomes nothing more than a way to keep the bills
|
||
paid. Yet, you must have had some reason for choosing that particular line of
|
||
work. By focusing on the tasks you enjoy, and developing methods for further
|
||
developing those tasks, a job can quickly become more of a career and less of a
|
||
grind. If you would like to build a new career, then begin exploring the steps
|
||
which lead to making a move in the right direction.
|
||
A person can take charge of his or her money with some practical effort.
|
||
A later section concentrates solely on finances. The key is a written-down
|
||
budget. Without a budget, a financial plan, your money is controlling you.
|
||
Once you know where the money is going and begin to decide where and how it
|
||
will go, you take control of it.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Building The Foundation
|
||
|
||
Everything else in the Breaking Through Life's Boundaries program is based
|
||
on "Attitude." Some of the other steps include Beliefs, The Three Selves (Self
|
||
Image, Self Concept, Self Esteem), Personal Relationships, Solving Life's
|
||
Problems, Personal Finances and much more. With an "I can change my life"
|
||
attitude, it is possible to alter the belief system, improve self-esteem, or
|
||
begin to solve the challenges which confront us.
|
||
Our lives are very much like building a house. We were each given a lot,
|
||
a piece of property, at birth. How well we take care of that lot (the
|
||
physical, mental and emotional being) will affect the value of the property -
|
||
our lives. Good landscaping, keeping the lawn watered and mowed, putting in
|
||
colorful flower beds, green shrubs and trees all enhance the value of the
|
||
property. Eating well, exercise and regular check-ups maintain the physical
|
||
body. Filling our lives with people who love and support us maintains and
|
||
strengthens us emotionally. Being selective about what we watch on TV, what we
|
||
read, what we listen to, supports the mental self. These things have a great
|
||
deal to do with the value of our lives.
|
||
The strength and design of the foundation, attitudes, and expectations,
|
||
may well determine how well and how long the house stands. Therefore, build
|
||
your attitudes with ideas that support a successful and valuable life for the
|
||
all the rest of your days.
|
||
|