68 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
Title: A thiefs rights
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Author: Equinox
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Date:6-3-94
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Being your average, mischenous teenager, I've done my share
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of stealing, and in turn, I've had my share of success, and of
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mishaps, but I have never been prosecuted, sure, the quickie mart
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guy, or the CompUsa Guy might have had me by the collar, and
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dragged me into that supposedly hidden office that actually
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sticks out like a green thumb, I've gotten the smack on the head,
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and stern look, and of course, the constant yelling and
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bickering, followed by the phone call to the cops. But if all
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this is handled with a certain finess, no harm should come to
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either party, or you might end up making that managers life a
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living hell. Heres how...
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To er is human, correct? Well in government hands, to er is
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freedom. Yes, my fine blooded American, this wonderful land of
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the free, where the law is blind, the country where streets are
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paved with gold, has a law system so fucked up, you'll proboly
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get more time for spitting on a Taco Bell than you would for
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killing someone. Anyways, you lets go through the average
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planned theft.
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You walk into the quickie mart, you see that box of cigs
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you've been craving lying there to the side of the counter.
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Trying with all your might to be as composed as possible, you
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glide your shaking, sweaty palms over the cold counter top,
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gropeing for the slick plastic covering of those Marlboros, while
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trying to look calmly over at the magazine section accross the
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room. Suddenly you feel a tight grip on your right shoulder,
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and the ear piercing sound of "Hey, what the hell are you
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doin'?!?!," you turn your head, praying that somehow that this
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was just some kind of dream, but alas, there lies the counterman
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with a firm grip on your shoulder, blocking any chance of you
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escaping. You try to speak in a normal, blas‚ manner, but of
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course, your fear gets the better of you and you turn out a high
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pitched, scrachy "What... What'd I do?" suddenly your dragged to
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the back of the store, and are subjected to a constant array of
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vocal blugeons.
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If this sounds typical of you, and is what you would expect
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if such an event were to occur, then you're pretty much like
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everyone else, you think that just because you did a bad thing,
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they can rough house you, and push you around.
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Constant yelling (and remember, Constant can be a SUBJECTIVE
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term.) can be classified as verbal abuse, a smack on the shoulder
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(no matter how hard) can be turned into physical abuse, possibly
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battery, especially if you don't mind getting a friend to punch
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you in the arm to get that nice little black-and-blue effect. If
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the sales person has caught you while inside the store, you
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really havn't done anything wrong, and that can be proved in
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court, the only way to be actually guilty of theft is if the
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merchandise is found on you outside of the store. I do warn you
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though, keep calm, don't start yelling this stuff out in the
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middle of the store, the most deadly bullet is the silent one, if
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you know what I mean. State your case if you are brought on
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trial, or to a policeman, but never to someone who is just trying
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to get something out of you.
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Well good luck. Theft can be a very profitable business,
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espesially if you know what your doing.
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"Love, hugs, and machine guns."
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Equinox [HCH] `94 |