textfiles/politics/bush.q

   These quotes are all from our fearless leader, who puked in Tokyo, and
started crying in Panama, George Herbert Walker Bush. These quotes are mostly 
from the new book "Bushisms" by the editors of The New Republic, but as time
goes on, more quotes will be added to the list.  If you like
these quotes, I strongly recomend you get Bushisms at the nearest book store.
Try not to weap as you read 'em! :-) More info at the end of the file.
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We cannot gamble with inexperience in that Oval Office.
         -While campaigning '88
 
Take out the word `Quayle' and insert the word `Bush' wherever it appears,
and that's the crap I took for eight years. Wimp. Sycophant. Lap dog.
Poop. Lightweight. Boop. Squirrel. Asshole. George Bush.
         -defending his choice of Dan Quayle as his running mate.
 
You cannot be president of the United States if you don't have faith.
Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War
and all that stuff. And we are blessed. So don't feel sorry for - don't
cry for me, Argentina.
         -Stressing the importance of prayer, while campaigning in New 
         Hampshire, 1/15/92.
 
We've got a little toy department to look at to get some stuff for the
grandchildren. `Slime' is the name of it, I believe. It's a toy.
         -While Christmas shopping in Frederick, MD. Bush then
         went to look for "that slime thing"
 
If frogs had wings, they'd let down their tail.
         -At a press conference.
 
I think in politics there are certain moral values. I'm one who - we believe
strongly in the seperation of church and state, but when you get into some
questions, there are some moral overtones. Murder, that kind of thing, and I
feel a little, I will say, uncomfortable with the elevation of the religion
thing.
         -On the TV show Meet the Press.
 
It's like Missouri, `Show me.' I'm from Missouri; we've got to see exactly
what's going on.
         -at a press conference on Iraq's claim to complying
         with UN resolutions.
 
So tomorrow there'll be another tidal wave, so keep your snorkel above the
water level and do what you think is right.
         -When asked on forthcoming budget negotiations.
 
You know every day, many important papers come across the desk in that 
marvelous Oval Office, and very few items remain there for long. Got to keep 
that paper moving or you get inundated. Your snorkel will fill up and there 
will be no justice.
         -On the dificulty of keeping up with presidental duties.
 
Bush: It's a jungle out there.
Reporter: Are you getting frustrated with Gorbachev?
B: Did you hear about Tarzan and Jane?
R: No.
B: Tarzan came down and said, "Jane, I'll have a double. On the rocks." She
said, "Tarzan, you don't..." "I'll have another double on the rocks." He has a
third drink. Jane says, "What's the matter, Tarzan." He says, "It's a 
jungle out there." Get it?
R: Yeah.
         -At a golf-course news conference.
 
So far it did not reverberate in the negative there. The signature is being
checked through the master computer, which is located someplace else, and 
we'll get an answer back after we leave.
         -Using a signature-verifier at a National Grocers Association
         conference in Orlando, Florida. This is the same place he was 
         amazed by a check out scanner saying "This is for checking out?"
 
There's no difference between me and the president on taxes. No more 
nitpicking. Zip-ah-dee-doo-dah. Now, it's off to the races!
         -responding to criticism that differences between himself and
         Reagan on tax issues were creating a political liability.
 
I say the same thing I say to a person whose family was maimed by a pistol 
or an explosive charge or whatever else it might be - a fire - this is bad.
         -on his response to families of victims of gun violence. Bush
         went on to lament the dificulties of trying to put limits on
         AK-47 assault rifles "and still, you know, do what's right by
         the legitimate sportsman."
 
We've got the best health care plan there is and it does not socialize 
medicine in this country. It preserves the quality of care. It makes health 
care - gives health care access to all and it does it without the quality of 
American education.
         -Does he belive what he's saying?
 
I'm all for Lawrence Welk. Lawrence Welk is a wonderful man. He used to be, 
or was, or wherever he is now, bless him.
         -While arguing for the line item veto. He apparently didn't know
         if Welk was alive or dead.
 
Ours is a great state, and we don't like limits of any kind. Ricky Clunn is 
one of the great bass fisherman. He's a Texas young guy, and he's a very 
competitve fisherman, and he talked about learning to fish wading in creeks 
behind his dad. He in his underwear went wading in the creeks behind his 
father, and he said - as a fisherman he said it's great to grow up in a 
country with no limits.
         -At a live stock event in Houston. Bush, born and raised in the
         East, can get defensive about his credentials as a Texan: "I have
         my Texas hunting license here..."
 
I've been talking the same way for years, so it can't be that serious.
         -While attending church in Kennebunkport, Maine. "Can't act," he
         explained, "Just have to be me."
 
I just am not one who - who flamboyantly believes in throwing a lot of words
around.
         -On his reluctance of calling U.S. interference with Iraqi
         shipping a "Blockade". Bush thought it gave the wrong impresion.
 
Look, how was the actual deployment thing?
         -To astronauts aboard the Shuttle Atlantis.
 
I've got to be careful I don't overcheerlead on this economy.
         -Expressing caution lest his optimism about the state of the
         economy be mistaken as indifference to the plight of the 
         unemployed.
 
Well, I'm going to kick that one right into the end zone of the secretary of
education. But, yes, we have all - he travels a good deal, goes abroad. We 
have alot of people in the department that does that. We're having an 
international - this is not as much education as dealing with the environment
 - a big international conference coming up. And we get it all the time - 
exchanges of ideas. But I think we've got - we set out there - and I want to 
give credit to your Governor McWherter and to your former governor Lamar 
Alexander - we've gotten great ideas for a national goals program from - in 
this country - from the governors who were responding to, maybe the principal 
of your high school, for heaven's sake.
         -Responding to ideas on education reform.
 
I saw a story yesterday that I went a little ballistic - which is only part
true - semiballistic.
         -While announcing John Tower as the nominee for secretary of
         defense.
 
I don't know that it would be my judgment - my - the function of the president
to suggest what employment somebody should take. If you ask me, would I like 
to go out there, leaving my job and go to work for this sheik when I get 
through being president, no, I wouldn't like to do that.
         -At a press conferance on Sununu aide Edward Rogers' possible 
         conflict of interest in accepting a position with a Saudi
         sheik for $600,000.
 
Look, if an American Marine is killed - if they kill an American Marine, 
that's real bad. And if they threaten and brutalize the wife of an American 
citizen, sexually threatening the lieutenant's wife while kicking him in the 
groin over and over again, then, Mr. Gorbachev, please understand, this 
president is going to do somthing about it.
         -Especialy if they know about Iran-Contra!
 
I mean I think there'll be a lot of aftermaths in what happened, but we're 
going forward.
         -When announcing Dick Cheny as the nominee as the new seceratary
         of defense. 
 
The Democrats choked the throttle - pulled the throttle back of a slowing
economy while they hunted for every last morsel of partisan advantage.
         -At an Oklahoma fund raiser.
 
I don't know whether I'd call it `cashing in'. I expect every president has
written his memoirs and recieved money for it. Indeed, I read that a former
president - was it Grant? Grant got half a million bucks - that's when half a
million really meant something.
         -Defending Reagan from charges that the $5,000,000 he recieved
         from his autobiography was cashing in on the presidancy.
 
I'm for Mr. Reagan - blindly.
         -While campaining in '84.
 
I will never apologize for the United States of America. I don't care what the
facts are.
         -to the Bush '88 Coalition of American Nationalities, confirming
         that "I'm not an apologize-for-America kind of guy."
 
Theses, they're very dangerous. They trap you. Especially these furry ones...
it's these furry guys that get you in trouble. They can reach out and listen 
to somthing so - keep it respectful here.
         -at a photo opportunity with his fitness czar, Arnold
         Schwarzeneggar, on the need for caution when near a microphone.
 
Those are two hypo-rhetorical questions.
         -during the Bush-Dukakis presidential debat, probing Dukakis'
         defense policy.
 
I'm not going to hypothecate that it may - anything goes too fast.
      -on the speed of reform in Eastern Europe.
 
Hey, hey, nihaoma. Hey, yeah, yeah. Heil, heil - a kind of Hitler salute.
         -greeting foriegn tourists at Lafayette Park on his way home from
         church. (Nihaoma is Mandarin for "how are you?")
 
Watch quite a bit. I watch the news and I don't like to tell you this, because
you'll think I'm into some weird TV freak here, but we - I have a set upstairs
that has five screens on it and I can sit on my desk and whip - just punch a
button if I see one off on the corner, that moves into the middle screen, the
other one goes to the side. Then I can run up an down the - up and down the
dial. So I - and you can record all four - four going at once, while you - 
when you're watching. I don't quite know how to do that yet. But I cite this 
because Barbara accuses me of being too much - not too much, but plugged into 
TV too often, put it that way. Love sports on TV.
         -during a C-SPAN interview on his favorite pastimes.
 
I know what I've told you I'm going to say, I'm going to say. And what else I
say, well, I'll take some time to figure out - figure that all out.
         -working on the "message thing"
 
You know, I mentioned - and with realy from the heart - the concept of going
across the river. to this little church and watching one of our children -
adopted kid - be baptized. And that made for me - it was very emotional for 
me. It helped me in reaching a very personal view of this question. And I 
don't know.
         -responding to criticism that his position supporting prosecution
         of abortionists, but not of women choosing abortion was a double
         standard.
 
We're delighted to be here, Barbara and I. There's a danger: You have 
President Reagan, Governor Deukmejian, and George Bush. Watch out - Overdose 
of charisma! That's not too good.
         -At a campaign rally in Los Angeles.  "I think I'm a charismatic
         sun of a gun." He then added "I'm not going to depend entirely
         on that to win.
 
We're delighted to be here, Barbara and I. There's a danger: You have
President Reagan, Governor Deukmejian, and George Bush. Watch out - Overdose
of charisma! That's not too good.
         -At a campaign rally in Los Angeles.  "I think I'm a charismatic
         sun of a gun." He then added "I'm not going to depend entirely
         on that to win.

You need to be able to do more than `just say no'. You need to have the
confidance to look you false friends in the eyes and say `Hell, no, I don't
want any of that.'
         -At an anti-drug rally in Denver. Bush was hoping to save
         youngsters from people he once called "narced-up terrorist kinda
         guys."

I had an opportunity to than him eyeball-to-eyeball for the best
communications I belive any two countries could possibly have had.
         -at a press conferance following his Camp David meeting with
         President Ozal of Turkey.

No your not going to see me stay put... I am not going to forsake my
responsibilities. You may not see me put as much - I mean, un-put as much.
         -clarifying travel plans for the coming year.

Barbara: I think it's because I don't threaten anybody. I don't make any big
decisions, I'm trying to say this nicley so I won't hurt my own fealings.
But-I mean-no Marilyn Monroe am I. I'm just not a threat to anybody. I like
people. And I feal for them. Maybe more than I should that's good for me.

George: Maybe Joe DiMaggio disagrees with you.

Barbara: What's that mean? Marilyn Monroe?

George: I think - Marilyn Monroe - maybe has the same high regard.

Barbara: Well that's nice.
         -during an interview with David Frost.

Please don't look at part of the glass, the part that is only less than half
full.
         -On the defeat of his friend Dick Thornburghin

Fluency in English is somthing that I'm not often accused of.
         -toasting Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhuttoo at a White
         House dinner.

And I guess with these cameras listening, be sure never to end your sentence
with a - without - end a sentance with a preposition because it will be duly
reported all across the countries by these gaurdians of the --
         -Offering a quick grammar lesson to students.

All I was doing was appealing for an endorsement, not suggesting you endorse
it.
         -To Roy Romer, governor of Colorodo, at a meeting of the National
         Governors Association. After Bush outlined his growth plan, Romer
         attacked it as being partisan.

I was shot down, and I was floating around in a little yellow raft, setting a
record for paddling. I thought of my family, my mom and dad, and the strength
I got from them. I thought of my faith, the seperation of church and state.
         -relating his experiances in WWII.

This is not a tax break for the rich, it is a creation of small jobs.
         -on his proposed capital gaines tax cut

And let me say in conclusion, thanks for the kids. I learned an awful lot
about bathtub toys - about how to work the telephone. One guy knows -
several of them know their own phone numbers - preperation to go to the
dentist. A lot of things I'd forgotten. So it's been a good day.
         -at the Emily Harns Head Start center in Maryland.

My running mate took the lead, was the author, of the Job Training Partnership
Act. Now, because of alot of smoke and frenzying of bluefish out there, going
after a drop of blood in the water, nobody knows that.
         -on Dan Quayle. He then stated "There's somthing very exciting
         about putting some confidence in someone in his 30's or 40's."

She refurbished the White House with the dignity that is her legacy.
         -on former first lady Nancy Reagan.

We have a complicated three-way conundrum at this point.
         -on the dificulty of restoring the economy to post invasion
         Panama while ensuring democracy and Panama's sovereignty (ha ha).

Bush: Let me be clear, I'm not in favor of new taxes. I'll repeat that over,
and over, and over again. And this one compromise that - where we begrudgingly
had to accespt revenues, revenue increases, is the exception that proves the
rule.

Reporter: The exception that proves what rule?

Bush: The rule that I'm strongly opposed to raising taxes.
         -he justified his change of heart to reporters by saying "I'm
         doing like Lincoln did, `Think anew.' I'm thinking anew"

It's no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another.
         -At a campaign rally in Ohio in '88, speculating to local voters
         that Ohio's 23 electorial votes might be the "swing votes" that
         would determine the election.

I think there are some differences, there's no question, and will still be.
We're talking about a major, majore situation here... I mean we've got a major
rapport - relationship of economics, major in the security, and all of that,
we should not loose sight of.
         -durring a conference before his vist to Japan, where he would
         puke on Prime Minsister Miyazawa.

We have - I have - want to be positioned in that I could not possibly support
David Duke, because of the racism and because of the... bigotry and all of
this.
         -distancing himself from Duke, whom he described as an "insicere
         charlatan"

Boy, they were big on crematoriums, weren't they?
         -during a tour of Auschwitz

When I need a little free advice about Saddam Hussein, I turn to country
music.
         -at a country music awards ceremony in Nashville. He then refered
         to the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band as the "Nitty Ditty Nitty Gritty
         Great Bird"

Get this passed. Later on, we can all debate it.
         -on his economic growth plan.

High tech is potent, precise, and in the end, unbeatable. The truth is, it
reminds a lot of people of the way I pitch horseshoes. Would you believe some
people? Would you believe our dog?
         -on the importance of high tech.

Obviously when you see somebody go berserk and get a weapon and go in and
murder people, of course it troubles me.
         -on the Killeen massacre, where a lone gunman killed 23 people in
         Texas.

It has been said by some cynic, maybe a former president, "If you want a
friend in Washington, get a dog." We took them literaly - that advice -
as you know. But I didn't need that because I have Barbara Bush.
         -I wonder what Barbara thought?

I'm delighted that Barbara Bush is with me today, and I - She got a good clean
bill of health yesterday from Walter Reed Hospital, I might add, and then -
But I'm taking another look at our doctor. He told her it's ok to kiss the dog
- I mean - no - it's ok to kiss your husband, but don't kiss the dog. So I
don't know exactly what that means.
         -At a New Jersey high school.

Reporter: Do you know to what extent the U.S and Colombia are in fact
cooperating militarily now, in terms of interdiction efforts?

Bush: Well I - Yes I know that.

R: Can you share that with us?

B: No.

R: Why not, sir?

B: Because I don't feel like it.
         -durring a press conference before attending the drug summit.

I don't want to just sit here blaming Congress. I mean, we're all in this
together.
         -on a TV interview

I think the Congress should be blamed.
         -several minutes later.

I'm not the most articulate emotionalist.
         -at a question-and-answer session, following the Malta summit
         with Gorbachev, when asked "what was it like for you sitting
         across from this man."

I am less intersted in what the definition is. You might argue technically,
are we in a recession or not. But when there's this kind of slugishness and
concerns - defintions, heck with it.
         -At an interview in Philidelphia.

I had a good long talk bilaterally with Francois Mitterrand this morning.
         -during a news conferance, after a Nato confereance in Rome.

If your worried about the caribou, take a look at the arguments that were used
about the pipeline. They'd say the caribou would be extinct. You've got to
shake them away with a stick. They're all making love lying up against the
pipeline and you got thousands of caribou up there.
         -At a Bush/Quayle '92 fund raiser, defending his plan to offer
         oil companies "enviromentaly responsive access" to the Alaskan
         National Wildlife Reserve.

If you want to have a philosophical discussion, I take your point, because I
think it is important that if we - that if you presented me with a hypothesis,
"You've got to do this or you've got to do that," and I would accept it and
understand the political risks that'd be involved if I showed any flexibility
at all in even discussing it - I would have to say that - that a - that you
make a very valid point in your question, because, as I tried to indicate in
my remarks, it's job creation, and that is attraction of capital that is realy
the best antidote to poverty.
         -Money is an antidote to poverty? Where did he get that crazy
         idea???

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Thanks to the editors of the New Republic for compiling and finding most
of these quotes!

This list was typed completly by Asher Feldman. You can do whatever you want
with it, but please leave this, and the info at the top intact. I plan on
maintaining and updating this list. If you have an addition/corection/comment
than feal free to send me E-mail at the following adresses :

PORTAL : Wizard0
NETCOM : asher
Internet : asher@netcom.com
         OR
       wizard0@cup.portal.com
If you have any lists of funny Bush/Quayle quotes, or related material, please
send them to me. My U.S. Snail adress is

Asher Feldman
4791 Calle de Tosca
San Jose, CA 95118

and your name will be added to the list.
Please excuse any and all spelling errors.