52 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
52 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
ONLY THE BEST FOR UNCLE SAM
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There has been entirely too much nattering about excessive prices paid by our
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government for things like hammers, toilet seats and coffee makers.
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That's not to excuse such boondoggles It's just that we have all paid too much
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for something now and again -- why expect the government to be different?
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Sure, the Defense Department itself probably has five million procurement
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specialists. But it's still a tough job to spend $300 billion or more just to
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keep our rockets pointed in the right direction and our military clothed, fed
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and shuttled around from post to post.
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Lookit. You, over there in the back. Yes, you. You're complaining that a
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really good hammer costs about $20 at the neighborhood hardware store, right?
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But what about last Valentine's Day (which you had forgotten even though it's
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your wedding anniversary also)? Remember? You went out and paid $75 for a
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dozen red roses! Ha!
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And YOU! You bought a perfectly fine new car last fall when the '85s came out
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for $17,500. Right. Now that same model is advertised for $12,498. Ha!
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And what about your wife who ordered that nightie from Frederick's of Hollywood
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for $89 only to find the same thing on sale at Wal-Mart two weeks later for
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$6.99? Ha!
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Let's get back to those 5 million procurement specialists for a sec'. Even if
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there were actually that many (and there aren't), each would have to personally
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spend about $6 million of the Defense budget in a year's time just to keep up.
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When was the last time YOU managed to spend $6 million? Most of us will have a
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hard time going through $500,000 in a lifetime. Half-a-million bucks A
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pittance.
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I'll bet if you had to procure as much stuff with as much red tape as those
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civil and military people do, you'd have a boondoggle or two in your attic, too.
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What about the time your whole family got together and decided to jointly buy
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that condo in Nicaragua? How long has it been since the Sandinista took it over
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for a command post? What is it they're paying you to rent it? Nothing?? Ha!
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Turn the tables for a moment. Let's say you have to go out and buy a Star Wars
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-- er, Strategic Defense Initiative. They're not sold off the shelf like
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Cabbage Patch Kids, you know; they're custom made. Do you think the sheet metal
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fabricator who works in the back of that motorcycle shop down the road could
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come up with one any cheaper than what our government is going to pay? Heck,
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even George Lucas had to spend upwards of $10 million for all that clay and
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plastic stuff in his movies, and it's all fake.
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Now, here's the most telling point of all: What was your tax bill last year?
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Three, four thousand? Ten grand? Did you get what you paid for? Will you
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EVER? That's gotta be the biggest boondoggle of them all. Ha!
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