46 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
46 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
NEWS FLASH!
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MAJOR U.S. RESEARCH UNIVERSITY DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT
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Special to the Education WOB by John Moore
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The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
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investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively
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named Administratium, has no protons, no electrons and thus has an atomic
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number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice
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neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of
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312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the
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continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
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Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
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detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
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According to those who discovered the element a minute amount of Administratium
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caused one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have
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normally occurred in less than one second.
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Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
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time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a georganization in which
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assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange
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places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after
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each reorganization.
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Reasearch at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
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naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such
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as government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can usually
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be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.
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Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level
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of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reation where it is
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allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium
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can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not
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promising.
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*****************************************************************************
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This article appears in the current issue of the "Education WOB". For
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a free sample copy, send your request to:
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Education Workers IU620 (IWW)
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P.O. Box 762 Cortland NY 13045
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