71 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
71 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
A Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List
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(always open to new suggestions!)
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Taoism: Shit happens.
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Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
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Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
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Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
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Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
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Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
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Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
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Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
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Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
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Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
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Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
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Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
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Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you
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serve the right wine with it.
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Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as
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shit that happens to another.
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Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as
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shit that happens to another.
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Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
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Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you
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are born again. (Amen!)
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Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
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Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
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Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
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Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
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Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
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Creationism: God made all shit.
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Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
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Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray.
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Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
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Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
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Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
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Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
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Darwinism: This shit was once food.
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Capitalism: That's MY shit.
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Communism: It's everybody's shit.
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Chauvanism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
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Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
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Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
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Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
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Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
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Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
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Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
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Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
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Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
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Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
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Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
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Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
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Jehovah's Witnesses: May we have a moment of your time to show you some
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of our shit?
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Jehovah's Witnesses #2: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the
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righteous shall survive its happening.
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Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
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Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
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Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
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Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.
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Church of SubGenius: BoB says "I don't have to take that shit!"
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Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
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Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
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Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
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Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
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Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
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Atheism: What shit?
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Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
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Atheism #3: Sheeeeit.
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Nihilism: No shit.
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