294 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
294 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
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ETHYL OXIDE
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by Aleister Crowley
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I
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Experiments conducted (at odd times beginning July 1916 e.v.) on my own
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person, have convinced me that the particular technical administration of
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Ethyl Oxide in combination with certain mental exercises enables the
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experimenter to ascertain;
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1. The value of the relation of a given thought or faculty with the sum of
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his mental characteristics.
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2. The final opinion of the experimenter on any given subject (In the
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popular phrase, "what is at the bottom of the flask".)
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While of course complete unconsciousness has often been reached (in
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surgical operations etc.) it has never been ascertained what occurs in
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this state (of anesthesia induced by Ether) to the normal healthy
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individual when he has trained himself to hold a thought through a
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period of unconsciousness so that there is complete identity between
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the last thought before losing, & the first after regaining, conscious-
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ness.
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It suggests itself that knowledge on this point might throw light upon;
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a. The psychology of dying
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b. The post mortem consciousness, assuming that after bodily death, the
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individual "awakes" to another form of life.
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II
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The following conditions appear in the light of experience & reasoning to
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be favorable to the experiment.
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1. The experiment must take place in such conditions, physical & psycho-
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logical, that distraction is minimized. (e.g. choose a quiet spot &
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time, let the mind be free from care or preoccupation.). Let the ex-
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perimenter be thoroughly awake & alert, free from physical fatigue, &
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in sound bodily health.
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2. The process of intoxication should be exceedingly gradual. The free
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nostril should be applied to the neck of the flask, but no attempt made
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to exclude air from the lungs. The criterion of proper administration
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is given by the time occupied, which should not be much less than 2
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hours from the beginning to the moment of losing consciousness. If
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properly done, a very small amount of Ethyl Oxide is required, say 1/2
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oz. (The time will vary with the expertness of the experimenter; one
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can quicken up when one knows how to maintain full control of the
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thought-stream.)
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3. The experimenter should already be expert:
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a. in analyzing his thoughts; so as to be able to detect the character of
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any thought & to understand precisely why it has superseded its pre-
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decessor. (He should have some experience in detecting the sub-
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conscious links between successive ideas. "the words of the insane are
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mountain-tops" etc.)
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b. in controlling his mind so as to be able to reject any thought which
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is not in the logical sequence of his chosen subject of meditation.
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(Per contra, an apparently alien thought sometimes belongs, import-
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antly, to the course of analysis.).
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c. in concentrating his mind so that during the whole period of the ex-
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periment he is able to maintain uninterruptedly the analysis of the
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chosen subject of his investigation. (The beginner should select a
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problem which really interests him as deeply as possible.)
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4. He should already be expert in Mantra Yoga to the point when, having
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hone to sleep repeating his mantra, it should spring instantly to con-
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sciousness on awakening (either naturally or if disturbed) without any
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effort of recollection.
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5. He should be sufficiently expert in Yoga to be able to discover the
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concealed meaning of any thought. (This is the essence of the process.
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One begins by considering any particular opinion or feeling proper to
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one's character, & proceeds to eliminate the accidental circumstances
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which have determined its form; until one discovers its root in one's
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original nature. For example, one begins by reflecting that one dis-
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likes a given color or is attracted to a given system of philosophy.
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These phenomena are merely symbols of the shape of one's soul, so that
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an aversion to red height be connected with one's fear of death, or
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one's sympathy with Herbert Spencer significant of one's intellectual
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habits.) Psychoanalysis assists one to some extent: but avoid accepting
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the conclusions of other people, or allowing any theory to prejudice
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the analysis.
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III
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1. Ethyl Oxide appears to assist the mind to distinguish between thoughts
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proper to its own nature & those suggested to it by some combination of
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circumstances.
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2. It sometimes enables one to perceive at a glance each & all of the
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forces bearing upon the problem & to extract unerringly their resultant.
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(In other words, one is able to make up one's mind quite definitely on
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any point without fear of having omitted some consideration. It thus
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informs one what is one's True Will, or the nature of one's inmost Self,
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in reference to any chosen subject.)
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3. The course of analysis usually proceeds logically up to a certain point;
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but it often happens that at the last moment, when one feels that an
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irrevocable event is imminent, the whole analysis is suddenly perceived
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as camouflage--although perfectly sincere--& is violently rejected &
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replaced by an apparently disconnected assertion, usually of extreme
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simplicity. Subsequent conscious analysis should reveal this as the
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true cause of the false chain of thought.
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4. The first experiments should, in my opinion, be directed to straighten-
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ing out any kinks in the consciousness of the experimenter; (i.e. he
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should seek to discover who he really is, his true relation with the
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Universe as opposed to the conscious idea of himself which he has
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created, or has been imposed on him by his early training & experience.
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i.e. analyze away Wish-phantasms, Fear-spectres, False idiosyncrasies,
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& prejudices. He should thus get rid of fear, desire, false idealism, &
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in particular of the doubt which exists (as I suppose) in practically
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all men as to their own ultimate validity. I mean that we all have
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moments when we wonder whether we really exist, or merely persuade our-
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selves that we do. Also whether we are absolutely straight with our-
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selves--see Sir Palamede, sections about Hunchback & the knight that he
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was Sir P. & Sir P. an impostor.
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5. Deep-seated personal complexes such as above indicated, should be abol-
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ished before they disturb the analytical faculty at critical moments.
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This being achieved, one may proceed to ask such questions as the
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following: What is my real conception of time, space, causality, truth,
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etc.?
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It will be found that the definitions of such ideas, however well they
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satisfy the normal mind, appear, in the light of this analysis, as of a
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totally different order. For instance, time & space may lose all their
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accepted characteristics & appear as arbitrary modes of discrimination
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between aspects of an idea. Such logical axioms as A is A may be recog-
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nized as false.
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6. Having perceived ~"the Universe as Nothingness with twinkles" etc. (See
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Star Sponge Vision Records (Book $, Part IV) CCXX Comment on Chap I.
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v.59) & subsequently understood that this form is determined by the
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structure of the nervous system & thus really a phantasm of it, one may
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begin again from that standpoint to enquire why the nervous system it-
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self should be conceived as it is, from anatomical indications which
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themselves depend on the same sensory perceptions which in turn
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determine the form of the original vision. i.e. Having got "the Uni-
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verse as I see it is an Image of my nervous system" ask; "Why do I see
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the nervous system as I do? What is the ultimate meaning of this con-
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ception? What does it imply, my imprisonment in this `circular
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argument'"?
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7. A discreet scribe should be employed to record the progress of the
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analysis. The time should be carefully noted. Apparently senseless
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exclamations often prove the most valuable indications of discoveries
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which are perhaps unintelligible to the experimenter himself even at
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the time.
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8. The really vital problem is this (Note: sleep & death are negative.
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What is it then which withdraws or relaxes? Does the fact indicate a
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Self behind the Conscious Ego: if so, cannot we reach that Self by ex-
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ploring sleep?): "What happens to a man when he is unconscious?" It
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should be possible to throw some light upon this question by accurate
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observation of the last conscious thought & its successor on awakening.
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Given an experimenter trained to maintain a Mantra through sleep, any
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difference between these two thoughts should be due to something that
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has happened in the unconscious state.
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9. The analysis should proceed constantly to deeper levels of the mind. It
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is essential to reach the subconscious strata & make them articulate.
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The final thought should represent the nature of the man stripped of
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all terrestrial conditions so ever. (It is generally admitted that
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intoxication helps reveal the true self of a man, & that at the moment
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of death he will not utter a lie. This process should reach deeper yet
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by willed intelligent elimination of any sources of error.)
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10. The experimenter should make a point of analyzing away any thoughts
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symptomatic of the Will-to-Live, i.e. he should treat the unconscious
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state as a real death, in order to make sure that his last thought is
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not contaminated by considerations of his conditioned existence. (The
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Will-to-Live is an expression of the bodily & mental complexes, not the
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True Self; otherwise, one would never consent to go to sleep as one
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does.)
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11. Ethyl Oxide may also be used in connection with Magical Invocations to
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loosen the girders of the Soul. The method is to exalt the conscious-
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ness to the utmost by means of the proper ceremonies & incantations, &
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then, selecting some short but intense conjuration, the dramatic climax
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of the ritual, to use it as a mantra (See The Paris Working, where the
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Mantra began on starting actual sexual intercourse, & had to be kept
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going undisturbed by physical & moral interference, even through orgasm
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itself. See also Liber HHH & 831.) at the same time concentrating the
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Will upon entering into direct communication with the Intelligence
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invoked. The moment of entering unconsciousness should by the climax of
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this process, so that, as one looses oneself, one becomes that Intelli-
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gence. There is thus no true unconsciousness, but the arising of a new
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consciousness, & on coming to oneself, one should bring with one the
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memory of his nature & message.
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12. The nature of scientific, mathematical, & philosophical conditions may
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be investigated with every prospect of success. For instance, it should
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be east to discover whether a statement such as Twice 2 is 4 really
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asserts anything about the nature of things, or defines a mental
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limitation, or is a simple tautology. One might also enquire whether
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one really believed in an external universe, whether one's idea of the
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Ego was convenient fiction or no, what one really meant by Zero,
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Infinity, the square root of -1, & so on. (This is particularly import-
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ant because all truths, so-called, may be rationally resolved into
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necessary forms of the mind, so that if, for example, it should turn
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out that mathematics was no more that a system of symbolizing the facts
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of logic, one might save much time & eliminate an obvious source of
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error.)
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13. Ethyl Oxide helps one to confine the area of conscious sensation to any
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desired limit. Thus, one can concentrate one's attention on a finger &
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so analyze the sensation of the minutest muscular movements such as
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convey no appreciable impression to the normal mind. One becomes con-
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scious of what the parts of the body feel themselves: e.g. the cells of
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the nostrils feel a definite pleasure at the free passage of air. (This
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is as far as I have gone; but it seems as if this line of research
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might prove fruitful in the right hands.) It should enable one to dis-
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tinguish between local and centralized consciousness, & to determine
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whether the Ego is a single simple Idea, or an illustration composed of
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diverse complex elements & realized as a unit for mere convenience'
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sake.
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14. The analysis of sensations enables one to separate them from the ideas
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of pleasure & pain. One can thus remember events normally lost in ob-
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livion through the operation of Freudian protection. One can also
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destroy any given fear which tends to oppress the mind & prevent it ex-
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ercising its function freely. Tradition asserts that we forget our pre-
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vious incarnations because the shock of death erects a barrier. Without
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assenting to this theory, I will say that having trained myself to face
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the fact of Death without mental disturbance, I found myself able to
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recall my last death, & so to pick u0 many memories of my previous life
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as Eliphas Levi; also, that having overcome the first obstacle, it be-
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came progressively easier to recall lives previous to that. This hypo-
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thesis is supported by the fact that I find it difficult to remember by
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Magical mistakes, & am (in particular) barred even now from remembering
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the details of a tremendous Magical catastrophe in the remote past
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whose effect was to hurl me from a series of incarnations in which I
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was a high Initiate, & of which I remember many incidents, to climb
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painfully once more to my present state. There is thus a definite gap
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in my Magical Memory, a shape of shame & horror which I have not yet
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found courage to unveil.
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15. Ethyl Oxide helps one to classify & understand one's mental faculties &
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their inter-relation. In particular, one can clear up the confusion
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caused by the fact that in one state of mind A is A is absolute; in
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another, untrue. One also learns how one faculty implies, & is involved
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with, another. This assists one to purify each from its accidents, to
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develop it, & to coordinate it with the others to the best advantage...
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One also learns not to confuse separate orders of idea, generally, to
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correct wrong thinking.
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16. Ethyl Oxide helps one to diagnose the diseases of the mind. In early
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experiments, especially is one's Magical Training be imperfect, the
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stimulation of the drug is almost certain to call up emotional com-
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plexes or intellectual prejudices. These must of course be noted,
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analyzed, & destroyed, before attempting any serious research. The
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ability to inhibit any such interference when under the influence of
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intoxication affords a reasonable guarantee that one has mastered any
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such seditions elements in the soul.
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17. The delicacy of the mental equilibrium produced by skillful administra-
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tion of the drug, enables one to make accurate measurements of the
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elements of consciousness. One should make a systematic examination of
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these, & draw, so to speak, a map to scale, of the mind. This should be
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done actually, by means of diagrams or descriptions, & corrected from
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time to time as fresh information comes to hand. It is particularly to
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understand & estimate the components of each faculty, somewhat as is
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done in Buddhist psychology.
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The question of the Skandhas is important. One must assimilate fully
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the fact of Nama-Rupa being a sheath of sensation, & that of perception
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& so on: & be sufficiently practiced to dig out the Vinnanam concerned
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in any overt thought or impression without having to perform a con-
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scious analysis, & so be distracted from the main subject of the med-
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itation.
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18. The experimenter will learn to recognize instinctively when he has
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reached the desired result. It comes as a climax with the force of a
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revelation. I believe it to be useless to continue the experiment after
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this has occurred. One should start entirely afresh. i.e. suppose one
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gets a revelation in the course of the work, which is however not the
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one required; one should accept defeat for the moment. The point is
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that a genuine revelation exhausts the species of Energy involved for
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the time being. The parallel case is the occurrence of orgasm in sexual
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intercourse. A perfect orgasm should leave no lust: if one wants to go
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on, it simply shows that one has failed to collect every element of the
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personality, & discharge it utterly in a single explosion.
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