177 lines
8.9 KiB
Plaintext
177 lines
8.9 KiB
Plaintext
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Message #5749 on "METAPHYSICAL" (public)
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Date : 09-Oct-91 22:43
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From : Farrell McGovern
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To : All
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Subj : New Laws of Wicca
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Hi!
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I found this on an old disk that I had a bunch of stuff that I had pulled
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from Weirdbase and Magicknet...it dates from 1987...and I thought it was about
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time that it resurected...have fun!
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****************************************************************************
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The Law was made and ardane about a week from last Wednesday.
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The Law was made for the Wiccca, in order that they should develop a nice
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longhand style from copying it.
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The Wiccca should give due worship to the Godz, presuming they believe
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the Godz exist and aren't just metaphors; and obey Their Will, which the HPS
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of the Coven will make up as she goes along, for it was made for the purpose
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of ego-tripping and wild parties. The worship of the Wiccca is good for the
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owners of Occult Supply Stores, for the owners of Occult Supply Stores love
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the money of the Wiccca.
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As a man loveth a woman using the missionary position, so the Wiccca
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should shaft their fellows and other total strangers frequently. And it is
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necessary that the Magick Circle which is the principal difference between a
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Wicccan rite and a frat party be cast and all Wiccca properly purified to
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enter it so they can drink five gallons of Ripple each and not throw up.
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The HPS shall r/u/i/n/ rule her coven as the local representative of
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the Goddess, and choose whomever she is sleeping with this week to be her
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HP...or her Maiden.
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And remember that the Wiccca would have it that The God Himself kissed
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her feet and gave up the position of Ringmaster to her because of her
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arbitrariness and autocracy, her spite and unreason, her mysteriousness and
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ignorance: so the HP is expected to go as far away as possible and not even
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show up for Sabbats.
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It is the greatest virtue of a HPS that she turn as many of her
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Covenors into closet Xtians as possible, for the true HPS realizes that anyone
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with the sense Goddess gave a goose is not going to stick around without
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having a death wish.
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* * * * *
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In the Olden Days when Wiccca extended far, we were free and had reservations
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in all the best restaurants.
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But these days, we eat at McDonald's.
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SO BE IT ARDANE, that none but the Wiccca shall ever be invited to
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dinner, for people who ignore us are many, and if they ever found out what we
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are really up to, they would giggle.
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SO BE IT ARDANE, that no Coven shall know where the next Coven bide,
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nor who its member be, save anybody who looks in Circle Newsletter and the
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hit team we send out to sanction them.
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SO BE IT ARDANE, that no one shall tell anyone anything, least of all
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thy fellows in the Craft, for fear one of you will learn something; because
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as it is truly writ: Gerald wrote it, I believe it, that settles it.
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And if any break these Laws, they will have to start their own
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Tradition and make up their own Grandmother.
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Let each HPS govern her Coven as she damn' well please, riding rough-
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shod over the Covenors as long as they will stand for it.
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But it must be recognized that sooner or later they will get mad and
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stop bringing the Ripple to Coven meetings. When this happens, it hath ever
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been the Old Law that the HPS will Elevate them to the Third Degree and kick
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them out, and promise them the rest of the Book...someday.
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Anyone of any degree or none may found a Coven, provided they think
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they can get away with it and can create a convincing Grandmother.
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They may raid other Covens for members as long as no one knows where
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to find them.
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But splitting the Coven oft means new opportunities for evading the
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consequences of your actions, so the wise HPS will think of it first.
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* * * * *
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If you should keep a Black Book, let it be in your own hand of write,
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except for the parts you xerox out of Lady Sheba. Or better yet, tell
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everybody they're not of a high enough degree to see it.
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Proclaim your Wicccahood loudly, and often; you may be able to do a
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brisk trade in spells, psychic fairs, and talk shows. If nobody believs you,
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try holding a public skyclad circle. If all else fails, hire a press agent
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and advertise in the National Inquirer. If they try to make you talk of the
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Brotherhood, lay it on with a trowel. Ancient Atlantis is always good for a
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five-minute spot on the six o' clock news. Not all interviewers are bad; some
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may even flash your business address on the screen for a few seconds.
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* * * * *
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To avoid discovery, let your working tools be ordinary stuff such as any
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may have around the house: AR-15's, Patton Tanks, Howitzers (let's see how far
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we can stretch that First Amendment, gang!). Have no names or signs on
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anuything, and remove the ones they came with, as otherwise this can lead to
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a charge of receiving stolen property.
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Let the Pentacles be made of wax unless something else is more
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convenient.
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Have no sword, unless you are in the SCA or a collector of WWII
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memorabilia.
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Write the names and signs on a gummed label so that it can be peeled
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off immediately afterwards; remember that not guilty by reason of insanity is
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not a valid defense in cases of this kind.
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Ever remember that you are the Hidden Children of the Goddess; when
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you can take time out from Karma Dumping Runs, Psychic Vendettas, Banishing
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each other from the Coven and discussing how much fun it would be to persecute
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the Xtians, remember never to do anything to disgrace Her. Or Them, if that's
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possible.
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* * * * *
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In the Olden Days, when we had Power, we could use the Art against any
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who ill-treated us; but these days a whispering campaign works better.
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Remember always that there are a lot of flaky people out there, and for this
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reason it is best to give a fake name and a Post Office Box address. Someone
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is always going to blame you for something.
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SO BE IT ARDANE: HARM NONE, or at least have a good alibi. Never
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break this law, or people who get burned along with you will come after you
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with baseball bats, and you will never be able to score any decent hash again.
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Any HPS who does something you don't like you can walk out on, but be
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sure to clout the Coven Book on the way to the door and set up in business for
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yourself (Learn Witchcraft From The Experts!).
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Always accept money for use of the Art, but keep an eye on the Gypsy
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Laws. In some states, Barter works better. All may use the Art for their
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own advantage; remember, quick and dirty works best, and you can lay off Karma
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on the Coven. If that doesn't work, try dead cats in the mailbox.
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* * * * *
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'Tis the Old Law and most important of all the Laws that no one may do
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anything that will endanger any of the Craft. Unless there's money in it, or
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it's to someone you think deserves it, and anyway, "endanger" is in the eye of
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the beholder.
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In any dispute between the Wiccca, no one may invoke any Law but that
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of the Craft. However, you can break into your opponent's home and mess up
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his stuff.. after all, it says right here they can't go to the Police.
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Never bargain or haggle when you buy by the Art; most Occult Store
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owners will just throw you out and everyone else will think you're a nut.
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* * * * *
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It is ever the way with men and with women that they are ruled by their
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glands.
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At any moment your HPS may run off and become a Rosicrucian. And the way
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of Resignation is this: if she doesn't answer her phone for two weeks and is
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never home when you drive by, you can declare her outcast from the Coven and
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take it over yourself, with as many as will have you. But if she comes back
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she will probably take of the Coven again, or start another one in the same
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building and declare you Invalid, and there's not much you can do about it.
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Learn to live with anxiety. Get everything in writing.
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* * * * *
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It hath been found that two people sitting around with a bottle of
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Chianti discussing Atlantean Grandmothers will become fond of each other, if
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only because of the Stockholm Syndrome. Therefore, let it be resolved that a
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human being shall be taught in the Craft only by another human being, and
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screw the middle-class morality of the nineteen-fifties.
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* * * * *
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And the Curses of the Mighty Ones be on all who try to take this
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seriously, or the Craft seriously, or the Wiccca seriously. Caveat Lector,
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and Hail ERIS!
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--- msged 2.06
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* Origin: Solsbury Hill BBS [Ottawa: Canada's Capital] (93:9630/7)
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