137 lines
7.9 KiB
Plaintext
137 lines
7.9 KiB
Plaintext
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ MOO-COW è-3 ³
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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Released By
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The Office Of The High Preest Of MOO
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Floyd Gecko
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Number Three in a series of confusing and/or enlightening releases of one
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thing or another from that High Preest guy, who co-ordinates this carp.
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Special thanks to the Ministry Of Fish.
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IN THIS ISSUE:
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MOOish MystiSchism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lloyd Taco
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PART ONE
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In MOOism, there is no such thing as Misty-Sizzle in the ordinary sense
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of the unword. You know, KOäMOâENEäIä and éEOèANH and all the other
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miscellaneous accoutrements that give religion meaning. MOOism is a
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Metagnostic Agnostic Anti-Church, in a sense (of which we all have five, this
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being only one). As Metagnostics,we believe in whatever comes to mind. As
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Agnostics, we don't even trust that. As an Anti-Church (see MOO-COW â-6) we
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don't so much believe in things as suspend our disbelief. Willing suspension
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of disbelief is the key to MOOist MystiSchism.
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In fact, this is the basic reason we renamed it such: the whole point of
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what we're doing here is to break the mental world apart into its component
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parts and shuffle them around. Without this kind of shuffling in the head,
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successful combinations can't be found. By the Holy Rite of Schism, we
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promote divergence, and then later on, Conjugation, of Sects.
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In terms of the evolution of mind, MOOism the the first Sectually
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Reproducing Organism in history.
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And that's the trick... Before this century, we were in the middle of
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intellectual Dead Airedale: the process which happens when the mind decomposes
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from a functioning complex entity into a whole bunch of undifferentiated
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cells. Old Churches, with
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monolithic Dogma (the Dead Airedale I mentioned) were like fungi:
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undifferentiated cells. In a mushroom, all the cells are the same,except for
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the spores. In a mush-brained Church, all the believers have the same
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beliefs, except for the clergy, so the transmission of new ideas drops to zero
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(Dead Air).
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Now there are certain things that seem obvious to me,
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Mystically Speaking <tm>, but they may not seem obvious to other people. Like
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the fact that it's inevitable that self-expansive patterns like intelligence
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and life will eventually reach a point at which that information can be stored
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in "DreamTime", the pre-dimensional, non-local part of spacetime that's
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everywhere and everywhen at once. That's a thing that sort of leaps out at
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me. But maybe not so to you, and even though I'm right, and you're wrong, that
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doesn't make your concepts any less valid. That's the Metagnostic Influence...
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We all live in every possible reality that accounts for what's going on
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vis-a-vis our inputs, like the senses, what happens in the mind. Now, since
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you're reading something that I've written (that's a good bet, anyway), you
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must have some overlap with where YOUR mind lives and where MY mind lives.
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With pretty-damn-close certainty, some of where you live must follow my
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beliefs, but then,a whole heap of it probably doesn't. Whatever you believe
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is partly true.
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By willing suspension of disbelief, Anti-Doubt, you allow yourself to
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explore bits of where you are that you hadn't thought of before. Since part
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of your reality lives there, those ideas will almost certainly be useful, and
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they definitely can't hurt. So run with it. Whatever occurs to you that MIGHT
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be true,
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certainly IS true in some reality, linked to the one you think you're in by
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the mere fact that it LOOKS the same.
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Of course, you don't have to believe this. You can believe whatever you
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want, and MOOism will sit there and nod its fool head,grin its fool grin, and
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make stupid comments about it.
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PART SIX
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So let's do an exercise in MOOish MystiSchism. For the moment, let's
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discard the MOOist attitude, and masquerade it as "Legitimate" Mysticism,
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like, as in, Cosmogeny instead of
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Cosmopolitan, Eschatology instead of S-Scatology, and so forth. Dumping the
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dumb-fool sarcasm that we keep up just to remind you that we're Metagnostic
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Agnostics. Here she lies:
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Part Q: The Book Of Nothing In Particular
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1) Before the beginning there wasn't nothing. Without comparison,there could
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be no nothing. The non-nothing was everything and nothing at the same time,
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because nobody was there to tell it what it couldn't do. But everything
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without distinction is just more nothing. And so there wasn't nothing, but
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everything was.
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2) After the end, there won't be nothing, for just the same reasons.
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3) Between the middle, there remains no nothing, because the gaps have all
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been filled in by emptiness, which is Something, even if not very much. And
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so as it was in the beginning, and as it will be after the end, so it is now,
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between the middle and itself. 4) Everything is held back only by its
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overwhelming tendency not to exist HERE, and NOW, because of the inconceivable
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smallness of HERE and NOW when compared with everything. And the everything
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was separated into Information, which was the pattern of the non-nothing.
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5) With the discrimination of Information, there became division,and
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separation, and this is why not Everything exists for us,because Information
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separates the True from the False.
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6) Inside the non-nothing which is Everything, True and False were separated
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from each other in Every possible way, because it was Everything, and so
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things came to be, as we see around us today,and also as we don't, but not
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HERE and NOW.
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7) So finally there was Something, which came from Information,which came
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from Everything, and Everything was not-Nothing.
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8) But where there was Something to compare it with, the not-Nothing was less
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than Something, and was called Nothing. So from the not-nothing which was
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Everything comes Something and Nothing,created together everywhere, at all
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times.
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9) Something and Nothing exist Sometimes in Balance and Sometimes
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Not-In-Balance, but almost always there is more Nothing than Something,
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because almost always there is only One Thing HERE and NOW. And the One
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Things are separated by Information which is a great deal of Nothing.
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10) So it is that Nothing separates us from each other, since it is here in
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great abundance, and the only Something that exists exists in the form of One
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Things or Sometimes Nothing at all. 11) But Information is the Nothing that
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separates us, and also what makes us what we are, and so at Some HEREs and
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NOWs, we are not, but at others we are, and in Some of those HEREs and NOWs
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the Information that we are, in other places, exists.
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12) So it is that after we die, we are dead, but remembered, and in some
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places, we are known, but aren't standing, because there is less Nothing
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separating us from those Somewheres than from the others, and we are closer to
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them.
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PART FIVE
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As you can see, this makes almost no sense at all. This is,in many ways,
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a lot like Real Life, and MOOism in general. Of course, it has a lot more
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explanations than Real Life, and it doesn't seem to contradict itself as much
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as MOOism in general, but that's what makes it MystiSchism.
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Obviously, MOOism is everywhere, sort of like the not-Nothing in the Book
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of Nothing In Particular. Because everyone believes what they do, or else
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they don't, and everyone follows their beliefs, or else they don't, which is
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the credo of any Metagnostic Agnostic Anti-Church: Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be
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The Whole of The Law, Unless Thou Wilt Not Follow The Law.
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Everyone is a Pope of their own Sect of Metagnostic Agnotisc MystiSchism:
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they do what they like, unless they don't want to. They choose to behave the
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way they do, unless someone or something else chooses for them. Whatever they
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do, it's the Holy Dogma of MOO that they MUST do it, unless they feel like
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breaking Holy Dogma, which is also okay.
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So don't worry about converting them to your own Sect of MOO,
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