71 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
71 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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Wrestling With God
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. Genesis 32:24-26: "And Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him
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until the breaking of the day ... then he said, 'Let me go, for the day is
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breaking.' But Jacob said, 'I will not let you go, unless you bless me.'"
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(RSV)
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. Jacob's wrestling match with the angel at Peniel is, to me, a picture of
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what he had been doing all his life -- wrestling with his conscience, with
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God, and with the world around him. It started when he was born, when, as he
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was coming from the womb he laid hold of his twin brother's heel, a portent of
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his coming life and character. Later on in life he also laid hold of his
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brother's birthright and his blessing. He was constantly trying to "supplant"
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reality, to mold and conform it to his own will and desire, and he was often
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successful, getting what he wanted.
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. But as he grew older he became less and less satisfied with what he was --
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Jacob. The name means supplanter, deceiver. In the context of the story
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about wrestling with the angel, Jacob was preparing to meet his brother Esau,
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whom he had "ripped off" in the past. He was being faced with the
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consequences of his character, which served to reinforce the knowledge that he
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was not the man that he wanted to be, not the man that he should be.
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. Jacob's experience with the angel, who represented God more fully than
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most angelic visitations, further reinforced his self-awareness to the point
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of personal crisis. "What is your name?", the angel asked, giving Jacob a
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chance to honestly face what he was like and confess it verbally, both to the
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angel (and therefore also God) and to himself, which was even more important.
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. Jacob had become serious enough, desperate enough about his need for
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change that when he wrestled the angel he refused to let go until he had
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received what he needed. "I will not let go, unless you bless me."
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. But sometimes we can't change until we understand not only our need for
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change, but also why we need to change. Therefore, he was led by the angel
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(God) to the confession, "I am Jacob." I am a supplanter, deceiving myself
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and those around me. This is what I am, and I need the blessing of an inward
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change. And I am serious enough, desperate enough for such a change, that I
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am going to hang on to you, God, whether it takes all night or the rest of my
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life. I recognize that you can help, and I refuse to give up seeking until I
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have received what I need.
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. And the angel at THAT point renamed Jacob, signifying that God had granted
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the change, the blessing. Jacob was renamed "Israel," one who has struggled
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with God and won.
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. God desires to make us all winners with Him. But often elements in our
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lives and our characters hold us back from receiving the victory. We may need
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to face up to these things, see them for what they are, confess them to
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ourselves and to God, and decisively renounce them. As with Jacob, sometimes
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it takes a crisis in our lives to bring us to the point of honesty with
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ourselves and with God. We make excuses for ourselves, we rationalize and
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play mind games to reduce the seriousness of our need, until a set of
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circumstances might come along that strips it all away and forces us to see
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the truth.
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. And just as Jacob, we then have a choice: we can face the truth ("This is
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what I am.") and seize the opportunity to wrestle with God for inward change,
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or we can give up, turn and walk away, letting go and refusing to struggle
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with it any longer. We can then go on with our pattern of rationalization and
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playing games with our minds. And we can also therefore fail to reach our
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full potential as human beings in His image.
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. May God help us to seize Him, to overcome the struggle, and to refuse to
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let go until we are blessed with real and significant change. "To him who
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overcomes ... I will give to him ... a new name..." (Rev. 2:27)
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Charles Shelton
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Computers for Christ - Chicago
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