94 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
94 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
PART Twelve OF 15 PRINCIPIA ENTROPIUS
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An Ancient Myth of Divine Proportion.
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Quoth the Scripture to me? The Divine Profit, my great Ancestor
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S'wingus Dickitius, the ancient Roman toleitry officer, who was
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in charge or Wiping the son of the one true gods buttcheeks on his
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way to be crucified, had written many scriptures, yet they are not
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seen in an Testaments published or not published, for it was written
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and yet forgotten. However, I shall impart some of his divine Aspiration
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unto thee, and expect a Tithe of many dollars in abudance.
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The Book of S'wingus Dickitius
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1:1:1 So unto the masses did the great and mighty S'wingus churn forth
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his spew and hurl at the gathered masses in the square of the merchant
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walimarticus. He that had brought his lunch to bear upon the unelightened
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crowd looked up, and spoke with such a voice, that he imparted wisdom, not
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in his words, but in the mere not listening to what he said.
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1:1:2 So with a great and heavy voice, did he lean back and squeal like
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a piggie. Let It rain down big gulps and Fiery bahama mamas freshly eaten
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from the CircleKitorium, said the Divine Profit of the Truth and with the
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understanding that their would be free packets of Relish and mustard
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for all that had gathered that day to learn the Wisdom of the Ancient
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ones.
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1:1:3 Let those among you who think they are above flatulence, be the first to
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pass a stone, said the great s'wingus to his flock. Many times he
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would be inspired by his deity and get so enraptured in his own
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spirituality that he would become confused and speaketh to his frock.
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Lest other times, members of his congregation bade him not speak to his
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apparel, but unto the masses that had gathered for other purpouses at
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the Wingandthingsitorium to imbibe their daily meals.
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1:1:4 So he would travel from Village to Village spreading the word
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and the Dung of Cows as he travelled. Cast out and ridiculed by the Heathens,
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he swore to show them a divine miracle, and So it happened one day. He
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had found Mary Magdalaine and was laid for the first time. He did not have
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many denarii that day, and so only received the laying on of handjobs.
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However he felt anointed with a new feeling of spirituality and some
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strange itch around his groinus.
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And so, Layman and unbelievers, read the gospell, and send me money.
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Or I may recite more of it to you.
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Swinging Dick
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Divine Poly-step Father of The Church OF Loopus,
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===================================
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"In his Right hand he held a Golden Trumpet"
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---Johann Valentin Andeae,
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Die Chymische Hochzeit des Christian Rosencreutz
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--------------------------------------------------
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+++++++++++UNPAID ADVERTISEMENT+++++++++
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From: Swinging Dick
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To: All Turtlenecks
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Subject: INSANITYFEST
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iNSANTITY FEST THIS COMING SATURDAY!!!!
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Big Time InsanityFest Planned!!!!
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People so Inclined may be Combustibles and Other Tools...
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Big Fun for Everyone!!!!!
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(go to Berts....)
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And Lo, This was the Holiest of The Entropicus, For it was the 12th
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of the 15th Chapter in the Book of Principia of Eris, and there was
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much celebration...
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"Elf shot the food"
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--Old 20th Century video-game.
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