110 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
110 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
Principia Entropius Book Two >>The Principia EntroHocusPocus
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Part six of 15
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Griffian Beleif system:
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One Doctrine of Froot Loopism is based on portions of the Andy Griffith
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show. Only the Black and White episodes are signfigant, because the colors
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of black, white and grey are symbolic of lifes internal morality/struggle.
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Each episode has specific moral values, that can be studied, and used to
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inspire. It is our hope, that it is used, to indoctrinate future genetically
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bred clone-warriors, into Cold-ruthless religous zealot killers who will
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serve to protect our empire, or to merely give old ladys comfort at night,
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with a growing understanding of basic human morality and charity.
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One might think, that St. Andy would be the most revered, this is not the
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case. St. Floyd the Barber, is the most honored of all the Griffinian
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demi-gods. For it is he, who was most sedate, and on the best medication
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of all of them, surpassing even the wisdom of St. Otis the Drunk. St Floyd
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with his drawn out words, and hidden meanings, revealed the cold ruthless
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killer inside, and it is theorized that St.Floyd was one of the first
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transylvanians, sent here to infiltrate earth. This is ofcourse utter
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Bullcrap. You can read more about the exacting Dogmas and wisdom of the
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Griffinian Beleif, in the lost manuscripts of "The Books of Mayberry".
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Griffinian Demi-Gods
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_________________
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St. Floyd--god of better living through medication,
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St. Otis the Drunk-god of bondage and alcohol induced hallucinations.
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St. Goober--God of Guns and Cars, and sorry Cary Grant impersanations.
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St. Barney--god of Internal Security and Street Crossing.
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St. Aunt Bea--Goddess of Homemaking and worrying
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St. Gomer--God of Marines and the Wisdom of Tao.
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St. Andy--God of Matlockians
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St. Opie--God of the unfaithful
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St. Raif--God of Inbreeding and Unlawful production of Hallucinogens.
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St. Ernest T.God of The "Vern Faith"
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*note St. Barney, is not to be confused with the Evil and cretinous
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Barney the lovable dinosaur, Grimaces evil brother.
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Excerpts from the Book of Mayberry:
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2:9 Book of Otis: And Otis did ride his Sacred Cow down the streets of
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Mayberry, claiming for all that it was the greatest horse money could buy.
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--Interpretation: The classic "Emperors Clothes" parable.
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3:1 Book of Otis: I will have a snort, andy. stuttered Saint Otis...
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--Interpretation: could be meant in many different ways, the meanings
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differ wildly amongst sects of the Griffinian sub-faith.
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2:7 Book of Floyd: Hey andy, I think you need a haircut, yeah, a haircut,
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oooo, hows opie doing? ooooo I got to tell you, opie came in here, with
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some freinds of his, and broke my barber pole, ooo that wasn't very nice,
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andy...ooooo, what are we going to do?
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--Interpretation: some have indicated, this is the fall from grace
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for opie, and one reason his allowance is so low. It is widely
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beleived by griffinians, that Those who are unfaithful of the
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griffinian faith (but not those, who were never given an
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indoctrination into the faith), When they die, will live as
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children in mayberry, and wonder why there allowance is a third
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of what other boys and girls get, these people are under the
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guidance of The Fallen Saint Opie, Keeper of the Sacred Candle,
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and have a secret club, wich meets in barns.
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1:1 Book of feif: nip it in the bud!
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---Interpretation-classically beleived to mean to stop blashpemy
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before it started, and followers of St. Barney are very paranoid
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as a result. Others, especially of the Hashish faith, revere
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this in the growing of Hemp.
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It is beleived that Those not indoctrinated into the faith of Griffinians,
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Must spend eternal life in Mt. Pilot, taking jobs in local restaraunts and
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shops, and serving those who live in Mayberry, eternal resting place of
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placidity, for the faithful. Those who reject the faith, after being
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indoctrinated, are sent away to the big city, wich is filled with peril
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and must play with Jimmy Fleet and his band with a big beat as punishment.
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The Matlockians are a hybrid faith, who revere St. Andy as the patron
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Of their Faith, and these people generally revere the old eccentric members
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of their faith, as very wise and keen. It is a custom of their faith, to
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tell a story for an entire hour, and then deliver the plot/moral as
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something completely unrelated/unexpected. This is called the Holy
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suspense, but thought of as quite boring by those not of the faith,
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because every story, seems almost identical.
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It is beleived the Vern Faith, borrowed heavily from Saint Ernest T.
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While the Verns, are Monotheistic, recognizing a slightly different
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Ernest, and none of the other griffinian Saints; They are quite stupid
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and gullible. They preface all prayers with the phrase "Hey Vern"
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and instead of "Amen" say "Know whut Amean"... There religous Documents
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are few, having mostly illiterate followers, they were forced to place
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their holy relics on VHS available in Blockbuster Temples everywhere.
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(Honk if you Fnord)
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