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FFFFF I L K K fffff i l eeeee
F I L K K f i l e
FFFF I L KK ffff i l eeee
F I L K K f i l e
F I LLLLLL K K f i llllll eeeee
SEVEN
----------------------------------------------------------------
The seventh compilation of filksongs collected from the FILK Echo
and provided for download via the auspices of Kay Shapero, moder-
ator of same. Publication date, January 1991. All copyrights
belong to the writers.
FILKfile appears at irregular intervals of a month or more,
depending on how many songs appear on the echo.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Not lyrics, but of sufficient possible interest to repeat here:
SCA-related recordings available: (all cassette unless otherwise
specified)
Ioseph of Locksley:
CELTIC CIRCLE DANCE, WTP 0002
$11.50 mail order
PO Box 35190 Phoenix, AZ, 85069
THE BLACK BOOK OF LOCKSLEY, (avail. Jan. 1991)
$11.50 mail order
Chris Masters Productions, 3202 E Greenway Suite 1307
Phoenix, Az 85032
Yang the Nauseating:
THE KHA-KHAN'S LAMENT: Songs of the Dark Horde
Pegasus Publishing, PO Box 9394, Ft Worth TX 76107
Musica Dolce:
MUSICA DOLCE
4530 E Calle Del Medio
Phoenix, AZ 85018
Duncan Brock of Greyfeather:
Duane Baird of Gwynedd
Sirideain
PILLS TO PURGE MELANCHOLY
M.H.Gartner, 2003 Bayview Hls. Dr #176
San Diego, CA 92105
Jean-Guy de Luc:
THE TROLL TONES: THE PRINCE'S BALL
THE TROLL TONES: VOL 2
C.D.Floyd, 8546 N 59th Ave #203,
Glendale, AZ 85302
Caidan Bardic Circle:
CAIDAN BARDIC CIRCLE (Vols. 1-5)
(adress unknown)
Veleda of Isenfir:
Eleasaid nic Ramsey of Skye
Cormac MacCluiun
SONGS FROM THE ISENFIRI,
(or A DIRTY MIND IS A CONSTANT DELIGHT)
LEGENDS FROM THE ISENFIRI
Moongate Designs, 44791 Windmill Dr
Canton, MI 48187
$8.00 each (?)
Celtic Pride:
IN STRANGE FORM
LIVE AT THE DUBLINER
CELTIC PRIDE
FAVOURITES
$11.50 each mail order
Chris Masters Productions, 3202 E Greenway Suite 1307
Phoenix, Az 85032
DEALERS:
Devine Celtic Sounds Pegasus Publishing,
PO Box 5983 Glendale, AZ 85312 PO Box 9394, Ft Worth TX 76107
(602) 938-8132
Thor Records
PO Box 40312, Downey, CA 90239
----------------------------------------------------------------
December LAFA filksing review sorta
Words: Kay Shapero
Tune: "A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One" - Gilbert & Sullivan
"From the filksing at the Creaseys I'm returning (I'm returning)
Sang a lot of songs I thought were really great (really great)
Bought a filkbook with some songs that I am learning (I am learning)
And don't even want to think how much I ate (much I ate.)"
"Crawling into bed with early hours chiming (hours chiming)
Once inside I know that I will never budge (never budge)
All the thoughts inside my head insist on rhyming (-sist on rhyming)
And I'm swearing off of Jane Mailander's fudge..."
"Oh - When you've got a lot of filking to be done, to be done
A LAFA filk is quite a lot of fun, lot of fun..."
****
HOLE
posted by Dr Pepper (presumably the author)
Here's a traditional camp song. Computer camp, that is.
There's a hole in the bucket, Eliza, Eliza
There's a hole in the bucket, Eliza!
There's a hole in the bucket, Eliza, Eliza
There's a hole in the bucket, Eliza!
Why do you say that there is a hole in the bucket?
Have you ever thought that there might not be a hole in the bucket?
I am not sure that i fully understand you.
That's very interesting, please countine.
Tell me some more about your family.
****
GLORIOUS THINGS OF THEE ARE SPOKEN
Lyrics: John Newton
Music: Franz Joseph Hayden (same tune as Deutchland Uber Alles)
Glorious things of thee are spoken,
Zion, city of our God;
He whose word cannot be broken
Formed thee for His own abode.
On the Rock of Ages founded,
What can shake thy sure repose?
With salvation's walls surrounded,
Thou mayst smile at all thy foes.
See, the streams of living waters,
Springing from eternal Love,
Well supply thy sons and daughters,
And all fear of want remove.
Who can faint while such a river
Ever flows their thirst to assuage?
Grace which, like the Lord, the Giver,
Never fails from age to age!
Round each habitation hovering,
See the cloud and fire appear
For a glory and a covering,
Showing that the Lord is near!
Thus deriving from their banner
Light by night and shade by day,
Safe they feed upon the manna
Which he gives them when they pray.
****
Merry Star Wars To You
Words: Jason Christoble
Tune: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"
Ewoks roasting on an open fire
Death Star targeting your nose
Jawas singing in a Tattooine choir
And folks dressed up like 3P0's
Everybody knows Darth Vader and the Emperor
Really can put up a fight
Rebel droids with their lights all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know old Obi-wan is on his way
And he's got daddy's old light saber on his sleigh
And every storm trooper is gonna spy
To see if Jedi really know how to fly
And so I'm offering this Star Wars phrase
From Luke and Han and Chewie too (hrrronk)
Although it's been said long ago, far away...
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!
-----------------------------
(credited to Jason Christoble
at the Renaissance Faire,
long ago and far away)
presumably copyright Jason Christoble
****
PRAISE THE LORD YE HEAVENS ADORE HIM
Lyrics: Edward Osler
Music: Franz Joseph Hayden (same tune as Deutchland Uber Alles)
Praise the Lord! Ye heav'ns, adore him;
Praise him angels in the height;
Sun and moon, rejoice before Him;
Praise Him, all ye stars of light.
Praise the Lord! For He hath spoken'
Worlds His mighty voice obeyed;
Laws which never shall be broken
For their guidance He hath made.
Praise the Lord! For He is glorious;
Never shall his promise fail;
God hath made His saints victorious;
Sin and death shall not prevail.
Praise the God of our salvation!
Hosts on high, His pow'r proclaim;
Heav'n and earth and all creation,
Laud and magnify His name.
Worship, honor, glory, blessing,
Lord, we offer unto thee;
Young and old, Thy praise expressing,
In glad homage bend the knee.
All the saints in heav'n adore Thee;
We would bow before Thy throne;
As Thine angels serve before Thee,
So on earth Thy will be done.
****
SCOTLAND THE BRAVE
(author? Tune?) Posted by Ioseph of Locksley as update of song
in SONGS5.TXT
Hark when the night is fallin', hear, hear the pipes a-callin'
Loudly and proudly callin' down thru the glen
There where the hills are sleepin', now feel the blood a-leapin'
High as the spirits of the old highland men!
Towering in gallant fame, Scotland the mountain hame!
High may your proud standards gloriously wave!
Land of the high endeavour, land of the shining river,
Land of my heart, forever, Scotland the brave!
High in the misty highlands, out by the purple islands,
Brave are the hearts that beat beneath Scottish skies!
Wild are the winds to meet you, staunch are the friends that greet you
Kind as the light that shines from fair maiden's eyes!
Towering in gallant fame, Scotland, my mountain hame!
High may your proud standards gloriously wave!
Land of the high endeavour, land of the shining river,
Land of my heart, forever, Scotland the brave!
Far-off in sunlit places, sad are the Scottish faces,
Yearnin' t'feel the kiss of sweet Scottish rain!
Where tropic skies are beamin', love sets the heart a-dreamin',
Longin' and dreamin' for the homeland again!
Towering in gallant fame, Scotland, my mountain hame!
High may your proud standards gloriously wave!
Land of the high endeavour, land of the shinin' river,
(lousy weather)
Land of my heart, forever, Scotland the brave!
Hot as a burning ember, flaming in bleak December
Burning within the hearts of clansmen afar!
Calling to home and fire, calling the sweet desire,
Shining a light that beckons from every star!
Towering in gallant fame, Scotland, my mountain hame!
High may your proud standards gloriously wave!
Land of the high endeavour, land of the shining river,
Land of my heart, forever, Scotland the brave!
****
THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
tune: "Old Time Religion"
(Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X)
It's good enough for me!
We will have a mighty orgy We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
in the honour of Astarte we will sacrifice to Yuggoth
it'll be a mighty party Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth
and it's good enough for me! and the Goat With a Thousand Young!
We will all be saved by Mithras If your rising sign is Aries
We will all be saved by Mithras You'll be taken by the Fairies
slay the Bull and play the zithras Meet the Buddah in Benares
on that Resurrection Day! where he'll hit you with a pie!
I hear Valkyries a-comin There are people into Voodoo
In the air their song is comin there are people into Voodoo
They forgot the words! They're hummin! I know I do, I hope you do!
But they're good enough for me! and it's good enough for me!
We will venerate Bubastis We will read from the Kabahlah
We will venerate Bubastis We will read from the Kabahlah
If you want in, then just ast us! It won't get us to Valhalla
'cause that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will all bow down to Enlil There are some who practice Shinto
We will all bow down to Enlil there are some who practice Shinto
Pass your Cup and get a refill! there's no telling what WE'RE into!
With bold Gilgamesh the Brave! but that's good enough for me!
We will all see Aphrodite We will all sing Hare Krishna
Though she's pretty wild and flighty We will all sing Hare Krishna
She will meet us in her nightie It's not mentioned in the Mishna
And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Loki We will all go to Nirvana
It was good enough for Loki We will all go to Nirvana
He thinks Thor's a little hokey Make a left turn at Urbana
and that's good enough for me! And you'll see the Promised Land!
Here's to those who copy Conan There will be a lot of lovin
Here's to those who copy Conan when we're meetin in our Coven
They're just Followers of Onan Quit yer pushin and yer shovin
and that's good enough for me! So there's room enough for me!
We will have a mighty Party It was good enough for Sappho
In the honor of Astarte With her lady on her lap-o
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy She put Lesbos on the map-o
'Cause she's good enough for me! With her pagan poetry!
Shall we sing a verse for Venus, Well the Christians all are humming
Of the Gods she is the meanest, Cause they say their God is coming,
Cause she bit me on my...elbow Our God came three times this evening
And it's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will worship like the Druids, Some guys have a circumcision
Drinking strange fermented fluids, On account of their religion,
Running naked through the woo-ids, An embarrassing incision
Coz that's good enough for me. Cut just ENOUGH from me!
We will sing a verse for Loki It was good for old Jehovah
He's the old Norse god of Chaos He had a son who was a nova!
Which is why this verse don't Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'!
rhyme or scan or nothin' Another resurrection Day!
But it's good enough for me...
It was good for Thor and Odin It could be that you're a Parsi
It was good for Thor and Odin It could be that you're a Parsi
Grab an axe and get your woad on! Don't need a ticket; you get in free
and it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Azahoth is in his Chaos Just like Carlos Castenada
Azahoth is in his Chaos Just like Carlos Castenada
Now if only he don't sway us It'll get you sooner or later
That is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
If you think that you'll be sav-ed Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed
If you think that you'll be sav-ed In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed
If you follow Mogen David And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed
Then that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me...
We will sing to Lady Isis We will all bow down to Dagon
She'll stand by us in a crisis We will all bow down to Dagon
And She hasn't raised Her prices He still votes for Ronald Reagan
And She's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
There are those who, when they've got e-
Normous problems that are knotty
They just take them to Hecate Thanks to great Quetzacoatl
And that's good enough for me! And his sacred axolotl
And his gift of chocolatl
Was a time, so I've heard tell, a And please pass some down to me!
Fine and promising young fella
Gave his all to serve Cybele
But that's damn well not for me!
Well, she raised an awful flurry When old Gerald got it goin'
When she made the scholars worry When old Gerald got it goin'
Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray! All that hidin' turned to showin'
She is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We'll sing praises to Apollo When we all bowed down to Nuit
Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow There was really nothin' to it
From Ionia to Gaul-o (Alex Sanders made me do it...)
And that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!
Let us sing the praise of Horus We went off to worship Venus
As our fathers did before us By the Gods! You should have seen us!
We're the New Egyptian Chorus Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And we sing in harmony! But that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Granny It's not good enough for Reagan
She could throw a double-whammy It's not good enough for Reagan
That would knock you on your fanny He's too square to be a Pagan!
And she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will gather at our saunas Meeting at the Witching Hour
When the spirit comes upon us By the Bud, and Branch and Flower
To perform the Rites of Faunus Folks are raising up the Power
And that's good enough for me! And that's where I want to be!
We will worship mighty Cthulhu In the sky I hear a hummin'
H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo It's the UFO's a-comin'
(1930's fiction voodoo....) That's not banjos that they're strummin'
But that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Oh the Phillistines abound Oh we all will follow Buddah
Oh the Phillistines abound Oh we all will follow Buddah
They had the biggest Baals around And we'll eat no food but Gouda
And that's good enough for me! Which is Gouda-nuff for me
Oh, our Spirits will awaken We'll sing praises to Apollo;
Oh, our Spirits will awaken Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
Watch the Universe a-quakin' ('Though his head's a little hollow) -
Which is Gurdijeff to me! He's good enough for me!
Let us raise a toast to Bacchus, We will worship Great Cthulhu,
We will raise a royal ruckus, We will worship Great Cthulhu,
Then we'll lay us down and f**k us And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu
That's good enough for me. 'Cause that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Buddha, We all worshipped Dionysus
As a god he's kinda cute-a, 'Till we ran into a crisis -
And he comes in brass or pewta' The bar had raised its prices;
So he's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me.
Uncle Crowley was a dreamer We will go and sing "Hosanna"
At the Abbey of Thelemer To our good ol' pal, Gautama,
But his magic is a screamer, He will never flim or flam ya',
So it's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me!
Oh we'll all be Fundamental When the clouds they are a'rumbling
And be Holy Testamental And the thunder is a'grumbling,
And never Trancendental Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling,
And that's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
There are some that call it folly Shall we sing a verse for Thor,
When we worship Mother Kali. Though he leaves the maidens sore?
She may not be very jolly They always come back for more,
But she's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me!
Shall we sing in praise of Loki, It was good enough for Odin
Though he left poor Midgard smokey? Though the tremblin' got forbodin'
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey, Then the giants finally strode in,
But he's good enough for me. But it's good enough for me.
Montezuma liked to start out There's that lusty old Priapus
Rites by carrying a part out He's just itching to unwrap us.
That would really tear your heart out, (He'd do more to us than tap us
But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!)
We will all bow down to Allah Where's the gong gone? I can't find it
For he gave his loyal follow I think Northwoods is behind it!
Ers the mighty petro-dollah For they've always been cymbal-minded
And that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
I was singing Hari Rama We will pray with those Egyptians
With my friend the Dalai Lama Build pyramids to put our crypts in
'Til they dumped us in the slammer Cover subways with inscriptions,
But that's good enough for me which is good enough for me.....!
One-eyed Odin we will follow We will pray to Zarathustra
And in fighting we will wallow And we'll pray just like we usta
Till we wind up in Valhallow I'm a Zarathustra boosta!
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Hare Krishna gets a laugh on I'll arise at early mornin'
When he sees me dressed in saffron When the Sun gives me the warnin'
With my hair that's only half on That the Solar Age is dawnin'
But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will sing a verse for Eris Of Great Murphy much is spoken
(Golden apples for the fairest!) For his Law shall not be broken
Though she sometimes likes to scare us It's not pretty when he's woken
But she's good enough for me! Things go wrong for you and me!
We will sing for great Diana If your god of choice is Squat
Who will teach of love and honor Well then trendy, man, you're not -
But you really gotta wanna! But you'll get a parking spot!
'Cause she's tough enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will venerate Bubastis Call Him God, or call him Allah
'Cause my cat walked up and ast us The priest will take your dollah
(Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!) Easy living from -your- follah-
But it's good enough for me! -wers, but sorry, -not- from me!
I'll sing some songs to Lilith, Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
Not so young, and not so girlish, She was into golden showers;
and She's always PMS-ish, And that showed her Zeus' power
but She's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
And what about this Bacchus, Diana is a little spikey
Who lives just to raise a ruckus? And she is a little dyke-ey
Loosens women so they'll f*** us, You don't have to be a Psych-e
Well, that's good enough for me! To know that's right for me!
Lilith wears a lacy nightie That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers
And She is a little flighty Fighting demons in his callers
She will get you all excite-y Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS!
She's wet-dream enough for me! And that's good enough for me.
With the aid of my athame Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,
I can throw a "double-whammy" He's too square to be a pagan,
(And can slice and dice salami!) Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!
So it's good enough for me. He's good enough for me.
We will worship with the Fundies L. Ron Hubbard liked precision
With their itchy hair-shirt undies And he founded a religion
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy," That has caught a lot of pigeons
Then it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
We will worship Holy Ford We will worship with the witches
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord 'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
But the Alphas might get bored And they scratch us where it itches
A Brave New World for you and me! And that's good enough for me!
There are those who follow Crowley Some folks pray to the Orishas
Tho the stuff that he held holy Tho their humor can be vishas
Turn your your brain to guacamole When they grant your stupid wishas
But he's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
There are those who scream and hollar There are those who worship Satan
And get hot under the collar And are just anticipatin'
For their god, Almighty Dollar, Armageddon's conflagratin'
Who is good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!
There are those who worship no gods Some folks worship the Kachinas
For they think that there are low odds Some folks worship the Kachinas
That the god-seers aren't drunk sods They look like "deus ex machinas",
But they're good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
Some folks worship all of Nature We will read from the Cabala.
Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher Quote the Tree of Life mandala
They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher It won't get you in Valhalla,
And they're good enough for me! Yet it's good enough for me.
Some folks pray to the Great Spirit There is room enough in Hades
Most folks just cannot get near it For lots of criminals and shadies
So they hate it and they fear it And disreputable ladies,
But it's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me.
To the tune of Handel's "Largo" Praise to Popacatapetl
We will hymn the gods of cargo Just a tiny cigarette'll
'Til they slap on an embargo Put him in terrific fettle
And that's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me.
We will drive up to Valhalla We will all bow to Hephaestus
Riding Beetles, not Impalas As a blacksmith he will test us
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles" 'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
And that's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me.
We will sing of Iluvatur, We will sing of Foul the Render,
Who sent the Valar 'cross the water Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
To lead Morgoth to the slaughter In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
And that's just fine with me. They're both too much for me.
We will sing the Jug of Issek, Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
And of Fafhrd his chief mystic, To please him you must swear;
Though to thieving Mouser will stick, 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
You can dance and wave the thyrsos Let us celebrate Jehovah
And sing lots of rowdy verses Who created us "ab ova"
Till the neighbors holler curses, He'll be on tonight on Nova
And that's good enough for me. 'cause he's good enough for me.
We will go to worship Zeus Let us sing to old Discordia
Though his morals are quite loose 'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya
He gave Leda quite a goose And if she's good enough for ya
And he's good enough for me. Then she's good enough for me.
We will sing a song of Mithras Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu
Let us sing a song of Mithras Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you
But there is no rhyme for Mithras! Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you
Still he's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will go to worship Kali Let's all listen up to Jesus
She will help us in our folly He says rich folks like old Croesus
She'd be quite an armful, golly! Will be damned until Hell freezes
And she's good enough for me. And that don't sound good to me.
Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull Let us do our thing for Eris
Frolic in her swimming pool Goddess of the discord there is
Subjecting chaos to her rule Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
And that's all right with me And that's good enough for me
Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
Even Cthulhu's not his master
I refer to the unspeakable *-----* (well, do YOU want to say it?)
and that's good enough for me
Let us worship old Jehovah Let us sing for Brooharia
All you other gods move ovah Though the blood's a lot less cleaner
Cause the one God's takin' over It's not Christian Santaria
And it's good enough for me So it's good enough for me
Timmy Leary we will sing to We will worship Sun Myung Moon
And the things that he was into Though we know he is a goon.
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto) All our money he'll have soon.
And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will pray to Father Zeus We will go down to the temple,
In his temple we'll hang loose Sit on mats woven of hemp(le),
Eating roast beef au jus, Try to set a good exemple [sic],
And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will finally pray to Jesus, We will all go to Nirvana
From our sins we hope he frees us, So be sure to mind your manners
Eternal life he guarantees us, Make a left turn at Savannah
And that's good enough for me. And we'll see the Promised Land.
There are people into voodoo There are followers of Conan.
Africa has raised a hoodoo And you'll never hear 'em groaning
Just one little doll will do you Followed Crom up to his throne(in)
And it's good enough for me. And it's good enough for me
We all worship Aphrodite, Now watch out for the Maya's,
and Her sister bold Astarte, They might really try to fry ya,
They both throw a pretty good party, Sacrifice people not papaya's,
And that's just fine with me! Just as long as its not me!
Let us praise the Holy Fool Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'
For he's breaking all the rules Tho he's lost his vital juices
Holds you up to ridicule, The old boy still has his uses
And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!
There's one thing that I do know No one wrote a verse for Buddah
Zeus' favorite is Juno Tho I think they really coulda
She's the best at doing..you know! And I really think they shoulda
And that's good enough for me! 'Cause he's good enough for me!
Tho J.C.'s into fish, too, Anytime that I start hearin'
He's an avatar of Vishnu "Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
So he is welcome here, too, Maybe so, but not like Brirn (?)
And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
All the Gods tore into Loki If you're really into dancing
Saying Deicide is hokey! And you wanna try some trancing
And they threw him in the pokey! Then the Voodoo gods are prancing
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
If you wanna worship Odin Good old Thor's the god of thunder
You don't have to have a coat on Really helps us get our plunder
Grab a sword and slap some woad on Tho his head's still truly dunder
And that's good enough for me! He is good enough for me!
I don't really go for Shinto And for those who follow Cthulhu
It's just something I'm not into We have really got a lulu:
Tho I guess I could begin to Drop a bomb on Honolulu!
'Cause it's good enough for me! 'Cause that's good enough for you!
Well it's good enough for H***** Let's all drink to Dionysus
He's a mighty kinky master Wine and women beyond prices!
When you pray he goes much faster He made a Maenad out of my Sis!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us dance with Dionysus The late return of the Prophet Zarquon
And get drunk on wine and spices Caused his followers to hearken
The Christians call them "vices" As the Universe went dark on
But they're good enough for me! All of you and me!
Let us note the might of Ils We'll invoke the blessed Camber
With a thousand or more quills And the Unicorn of Amber
By the light that from him spills And the wizard Deliamber
He is good enough for me! They're good enough for me!
When we worship Bacchus We will venerate old Bacchus
The ethanol will sock us Drinking beer and eating tacos
We'll all get good and raucous Til you've tried it please don't knock us
And that's good enough for me! 'Cause it's good enough for me!
When you worship Rusto Warriors for Allah
Treat your friends with lust-o Are sure to have a gala
Pursue your faith with gusto! Time in old Valhalla
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
They revered ancient ENIAC In the halls of Frey and Freyja
And sacrificed to UNIVAC All the priestesses will lay ya
Now we sing our chants on VAX pack If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Cupid Let us worship sweet Eninni
It was good enough for Cupid Let us worship sweet Eninni
His wings look kind of stupid In a skimpy string bikini
But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome Well Dimuzi's on vacation
But he's not at home too often He'll be back when spring awakens
Spends all his time in Annwyfn There will be such recreaction
And that's good enough for me! There will be enough for me!
In his dancing Pan will lead them Pan's pipes got plugged last summer
When his pipes call we will heed them And it really was a bummer
In truth tho, he don't need them Finally had to call a plumber!
He's more than enough for me! But he's good enough for me!
We will venerate old Hermes We will worship now with vigor
With his staff entwined with wormies The goddess known as Frigga
Warding off the nasty germies Tho there are some who don't dig her
And that's good enough for me! She is good enough for me!
I pray to Ahura-Mazda Let us all now worship Ra
He's one god who sure won't pause ta And take care of our Ka
Pound some heads when given cause ta We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!"
Which is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
We will all do praise to Horus Here's an invitation for us
In an old Egyptian chorus All to go and worship Horus
If there's something in it for us Doff your clothes and join the chorus
Then it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
As the goddess Kali dances Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus
With her worshippers in trances From herself the Earth did birth us
You can learn some Hindu stances And I wonder: are we worth us?
And that's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Venus We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Let us call an Elemental We will all bow down to Gozer
For a temporary rental Priestess did it with that Joser
Just as long as it is gentle Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir!
It is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will worship with Poseidon In matters Dianetic
We will meet him when the tide's in You need not get frenetic
All the maidens he will ride in Make your Engrams copacetic
Then he'll give 'em all to me! And that's good enough for me!
All the unters start convergin' And to help things get real racous
When Diana is emergin' The priests of Pan and Bacchus
It's too bad she's still a virgin Will hold a f***ing contest!
But there's still hope left for me! And that's all right with me!
We will got to worship Lillith If you get too tired
Grab your cup, step up and fill it And you need to get up higher
Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! Just have Pele light your fire!
And that's good eonough for me! From her island in the sea!
Quetzacoatl's flyin' Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine
With the Toltec and the Mayan The Etruscan god of wine
And the mushrooms he's been buyin' This verse doesn't really rhyme
Are good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will worship Christian Jesus You can keep your saints with halos,
And do just like John Paul pleases Your hosannas or dayenus:
That we will... when Hades freezes! Let's throw virgins in volcanos!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let's go worship Great Cthulhu, In Japan they thought it neato
And run naked like a Zulu, When they worshipped Hirohito
You and me and Mr. Sulu, But that didn't sit with SEATO
And that's good enough for me! So it never more will be!
I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda, We will all bow down to Venus
And I'll praise the man who tries ta, As we dance upon Mt Zenos
Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta, We will worship with our....voice
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It's the opera written for us
We will all join in the chorus
It's the opera about Boris
Which is Godunov for me!
More ROTR
And when old Quetzelcouatl
Found a virgin he could throttle
And put her heart into a bottle
It was good enough for me.
-- posted by Tom Fitzgerald, origin unknown
****
THE SEXUAL LIFE OF THE CAMEL, or MY GOD HOW THE MONEY ROLLS IN!
-Anonymous
The sexual life of the Camel My cousin sells shields to the Tuchux
Is stranger than anyone thinks The plywood they're made of is thin;
One night in a moment of passion I'm a doggone good Chiurgeon
He tried to deflower the Sphinx! My God, how the money rolls in!
Now, the Sphinx's posterior anatomy My brother is a mercenary
Is covered with sand from the Nile. Hiring out to help you win
That accounts for the hump in the Camel, Since both Kingdoms pay for his
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile! wages
My God, how the money rolls in!
Exhaustive experimentation The East and the Middle are fighting
By Darwin, and Huxley and Hall Trimaris and others join in
Has proved that the ass of a hedgehog The Dark Horde makes book on the
Can hardly be buggered at all! winner
My God, how the money rolls in!
The Baron, he rides on a warhorse, Smilin' Ali is looking for people
With a fancy great helluva rig, To travel a long way with him
He doesn't get there any faster, To auctions in old Persian markets
But it makes the old bastard feel big! My God, how the money rolls in!
The King, he sleeps in a feather bed I'm just a poor mercenary
The Knights all sleep in their sacks; I don't care if we lose or we win
As a means of self-preservation, As long as you're still here on
The squires all sleep on their backs! payday
My God, how the money rolls in!
And here's to the girls of (insert name) Ioseph of Locksley is Celtic,
And here's to the alleys they roam, Ioseph of Locksley is thin,
And here's to their dirty-faced bastards, Ioseph writes satire to order,
God bless 'em, they may be your own! My God, how the money rolls in!
My father makes illegal whiskey, Petruccio is an Italian
My mother makes illegal gin, He is an expert at Sin
My sister runs guns for the Dark Horde: He has a stable of gerbils
My God, how the money rolls in! My God, how the money rolls in!
My brother's a poor missionary The Dark Horde really likes fighting
He saves little girlies from Sin! We want your side to win
He'll save you a blonde for 5 dollars We've cornered the market on duct
My God, how the money rolls in! tape
My God, how the money rolls in!
And here's to the Outlands' new Navy! Elric, he drives a hard bargain
Let's all give them three cheers! While trading for leather or skins
The first submarine made of adobe.... He'll let you keep yours for a
It's been down for thirty-two years! cookie!
My God, how the cookies roll in!
So here's to the War at Estrella
Where all of us landed in gaol,
And here's to the (insert name) maidens,
Who gave us our first piece of tail!
Elric's a traveling merchant
With a band of his very large friends
He'll sell you your lives for your silver
My God, how the money rolls in!
--end of file--

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