481 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
481 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
Path: uuwest!control.spies.com!spies!sgiblab!darwin.sura.net!udel!gvls1!tredysvr!cellar!blu
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From: blu@cellar.org (Dan Reed)
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Newsgroups: alt.tasteless
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Subject: Dead Milkmen Lyrics (samples) (long)
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Message-ID: <kmT7RB4w164w@cellar.org>
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Date: 5 Oct 92 20:04:43 GMT
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Sender: bbs@cellar.org (The Cellar BBS)
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Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system
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Lines: 470
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Dead Milkmen lyrics, typed by people, who I cannot thank, cu'z
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I dunno know who they are.
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Before I break all kinds of copyright rules, let me say, that
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you should *really* get some CD's/Tapes by this band, they
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really kick ass, and are quite funny.
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A.T.ers of all likes should get some... this is only a SAMPLE
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of some of the songs they have done.
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-------------
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"If you love someone, set them on fire"
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Know that it would be untrue
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Know that I would be a liar
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If I was to say to you that I didn't set your house on fire
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But its just the way I am, have to take it for a fact
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Life can really burn you up when your a pyromaniac.
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(chorus)
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So if you love somebody let us set them on fire!
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I went to your house last night,
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You dad called me the human torch,
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Got a little pissed at him,
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So I burnt down your front porch.
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Now I feel a little bad,
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About throwing gas on your dad,
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But you know its hard to quit,
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And bedsides I started it.
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I jut brought a brand new lighter,
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And I can't wait to use it,
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With a can of kerosine,
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Its lots of fun, you cant refuse it
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Oily rags and special things,
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Not to me the diamond rings,
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Maybe we can have some fun,
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Maybe we can burn someone.
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(chorus)
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So if you love somebody let us set them on fire!
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"If you love somebody, set them on fire"
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Metaphysical Graffiti - 1990
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----------------------
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The Dead Milkmen
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from Big Lizard In My Backyard
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"Bitchin' Camaro"
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Title: Bitchin' Camaro
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Hey Jack, what's happenin'?
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Oh, I don't know. Well, rumor around town says you think you might be
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heading down to the shore.
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Uh, yeah, I think I'm goin' down to the shore.
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Whatcha gonna do down there?
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Uh, I don't know, play some video games, buy some Def Leppard t-shirts.
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Hey, don't forget to get your Motley Crue t-shirt, y'know, all proceeds go to
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get their lead singer out of jail.
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Uh huh.
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Hey, you gonna check out the sand bar while you're there?
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Uh, what's the Sand Bar?
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Oh, it's this place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink.
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Oh, cool. Y'know who's gonna be there?
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Uh, who?
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My favorite cover band, Crystal Shit. Oh. Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd
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be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this:
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Love me two times baby
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Love me twice today (short musical pause)
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Love me two times girl
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Cause I got AIDS
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Love me two times baby, once for tomorrow, once cause I got AIDS
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Wow, Pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there. Yeah, I hope those guys
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have a good sense of humor and don't take us to court.
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Uh, what's the court?
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Never mind that,
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(interupts)Oh, you mean like the People's Court?
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Well, that's another story; the important thing here is you gotta ask me
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how I'm gonna get down to the shore.
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Uh, how you gonna get down to the shore?
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Funny you should ask, I've got a car now.
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Oh wow, how'd you get a car?
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Oh my parents drove it up here from the Bahamas.
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You're kidding!
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I must be, the Bahamas are islands, okay, the important thing now, is
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that you ask me what kind of car I have.
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Uh, what kinda car do ya' got?
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I've got a
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BITCHIN CAMARO!.....
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BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
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I ran over my neighbors, BITCHIN CAMARAO, BITCHIN CAMARO,
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Now it's in all the papers.
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My folks bought me a BITCHIN CAMARO with no insurance to match;
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So if you happen to run me down, please don't leave a scratch.
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I ran over some old lady one night at the county fair;
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And I didn't get arrested, because my dad's the mayor.
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BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
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Doughnuts on your lawn
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BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
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Tony Orlando and Dawn
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When I drive past the kids, they all spit and cuss,
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Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO and they have to ride the bus.
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So you'd better get out of my way, when I run through your yard;
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Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO;
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And an Exxon credit card.
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BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
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Hey, man where ya headed?
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BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
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I drive on unleaded.
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----------------------------------
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"Bleach Boys"
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by The Dead Milkmen
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from Beelzebubba
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I've got some buddies and we all drink bleach
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you know we practice what we preach
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We're not a drunken bunch of frat boys drunk on beer
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or a stoned bunch of hippies with no careers
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I wanna drink bleach with a Georgia Peach
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My pals and I all drink Clorox
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or eat Snowy right out of the box
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Teenage suicide rate shot high and we
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understand the reason why
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Bleach does more than whiten socks
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Don't you wanna hang out with the bleach boys baby
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in a land where ministers murder golf pros?
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Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight?
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Maybe there'll be a party at the beach
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We'll bitch about life and chug-a-lug bleach
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No ones getting high and no one's getting drunk
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we got a case off bleach stashed in the trunk.
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I wanna die with clorox within reach.
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I'm very proud of the respect I've earned
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and my voice is very deep 'cause my throat got burned.
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Bleach keeps you young so I've been told
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'cause no one who drinks it lives to be old
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Drink it with a chaser is the first thing I learned.
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Don't you wanna hang out with the bleach boys baby
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in a land where midgets run for mayor?
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Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight?
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I had 26 friends in the beginning
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but now it seems our numbers are thinning
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Some people drive fast others love to bet
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still others snort coke in a private jet.
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But drinking bleach is my way of winning.
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(Bad guitar solo)
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I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach (x472)
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--------------------------------------
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I Hate Myself
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Performed By Dead Milkmen
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Smokin' Banana Peels - the singles
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I hate myself - hate myself
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And you - I hate you
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I hate myself - hate myself
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And you - I hate you
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Roses are red and
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Violets are blue
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I hate me and
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I hate you
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I hate my life and I hate yours
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I hate my life and I hate yours
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Let's get together and make a pact
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Let's get together and make a pact
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Let's get together and end it all
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Let's get together in a bathroom stall
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I - I take drugs, I take drugs
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And Glue - I sniff glue
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I - I take drugs, I take drugs
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And Glue - I sniff glue
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Roses are red and
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Violets are blue
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I take drugs and
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I sniff glue
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I hate my life and I hate yours
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I hate my life and I hate yours
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Let's get together and make a pact
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Let's get together and make a pact
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Let's get together and slit our wrists
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Let's get together and do the twist
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I eat lye soap - eat lye soap
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And stew and I eat stew <Hello Stuart>
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I eat lye soap - eat lye soap
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And stew and I eat stew
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Roses are red and
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Violets are blue
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I take eat soap and
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I eat stew
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I hate my life and I hate yours
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I hate my life and I hate yours
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Let's get together and make a pact
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Let's get together and make a pact
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Let's get together and end it all
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Let's get together in a bathroom stall
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-----------------------------
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"Instant Club Hit (You'll Dance to Anything)"
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By the Dead Milkmen from Bucky Felinni
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(also off the single)
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She'll dance to anything
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You'll dance to anything
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Okay, look at you
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Don't you look like Siouxsie Sioux
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How long did it take to get that way
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What a terrible waste of energy
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You wear black clothes say you're poetic
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The sad truth is you're just pathetic
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Get into the groove get out of my way
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I came here to drink not to get laid
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So why don't you just go on home
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If you want to moan you'll have to moan alone
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You'll dance to anything...
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You'll dance to anything...
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Don't try to tell me that you're an intellectual
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Cause you're just another born bisexual
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("I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party")
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Blow it out your hair cause you work at Hardees
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80 pounds of make up on your art school skin
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80 points of I.Q. located within
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Know what you are? You're a bunch of ...
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Artfags! Artfags!
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Choke on this you dance-a-teria types!
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You'll dance to anything by the Communards
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You'll dance to anything by Book of Love
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You'll dance to anything by The Smiths
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You'll dance to anything by De-peche Mode
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You'll dance to anything by Public Image Limited
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You'll dance to anything by Naked Truth
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You'll dance to anything by any bunch of stupid Europeans who come over
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here with their big hairdos bent on taking OUR money instead of giving
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your cash, where it belongs, to a decent American artist like myself!
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You'll dance to anythIng!
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----------------------------------
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"Stuart"
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The Dead Milkmen
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from - Beelizabubba
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You know what Stuart? I like you.
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You're not like the other people here in the trailer park.
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Oh, don't get me wrong. They're fine people. Good Americans.
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But, they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy
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on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer.
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They're good fine people, Stuart but they don't know, what
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the queers are doing to the soil.
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You know that Johnny Wurster kid, the kid who delivers papers in the
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neighborhood? He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors say
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he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.
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Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrough owl
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"Dad, get me a burrough owl. I'll never ask for anything else as
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long as I live". So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrough owl.
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Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out into my yard.
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And there's the Wurster kid looking up in the tree.
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I said, "What are you looking for?"
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He said, "I'm looking for my burrough owl".
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I said, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. Everyone knows that a burrough
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owl lives in a hole in the ground. Why the hell do you think they call
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it a burrough owl, anyway?"
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Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know
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what the queers are doing to the soil?
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I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago. The summer my oldest
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boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year?
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Well that year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said, keep
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your head and arms inside the mixer at all times.
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But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil. Just like his old man. He was leaning
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out saying, "Hey everybody, look at me, look at me". Oh, he was
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decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone consession. A
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few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in
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there, from Peublo, Colorodo. And it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's
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entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil!"
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Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city
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with a big underground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, for
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example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build
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on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due
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to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know
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it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building
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landing strips for gay Martians. I swear to God.
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You know what Stuart, I like you.
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You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park.
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-----------------------------
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"Life is Shit"
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by the Dead Milkmen
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from Beelzebubba
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I ran into a friend of mine
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said was gonna take some words
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and make em rhyme I said you can
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fool some of the people some of
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the time, but you can only fool
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half the people half the time
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He "Yes I do believe this is
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true. Would you like to go sniff
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some glue? We'll fly to where
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the skys are blue and look
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for things both bright and true"
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And on a pretty Sunday morning
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a bunch of pretty Babtist girls
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linked ther pretty hands and
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sang:
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Chorus: Life is shit, Life is Shit
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The world is shit, the world is shit
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and this is life as I know it.
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this is life as I know it.
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And in the sky I saw Richard Nixon
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smoking a lacey with Mr. Dickson
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He said "Son there's someething
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I must say I do not believe I've
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found a better way" And then a
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vision came and it look a lot
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life Bob Crane. And Bob sang:
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Chorus
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And when my friend and I were
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done we went to rest upon the
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sun 'cause life takes from us
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the thing, we leove and robs us
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of the special ones and puts
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them hihg where we can't climb
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and we only miss them all
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the time
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And we sing:
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Chorus
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-----------------------------
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Methodist Coloring Book
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Performed By The Dead Milkmen
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Metaphysical Graffiti
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You've got a Methodist Coloring book
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and you color really well
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But don't color outside the lines
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or God will send you to Hell
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'caues God hates war
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and God hates crime
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but he really hates people
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who color outside the lines
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You've got a Methodist coloring book
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don't color outside the lines
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'cause if God doesn't strike you with
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lighning, he'll at least make you go blind
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Good people get sent to the attic
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Bad peopl get sent to the cellar
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But there's a special kind of Hell
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for those who just won't learn to color
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God is gracious, God is good
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so let's color in his book
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God wears cotton, God wears rayon
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He can mend a broken crayon
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God is honest, he don't take payola
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Let's all thank him for our crayolas
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You've got a Methodist Coloring book
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and you color really well
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But don't color outside the lines
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or God will send you to Hell
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----------------------------
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"Punk Rock Girl"
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one saturday i took a walk to Zipperhead
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i met a girl there and she almost knocked me dead
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(punk rock girl) please look at me
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(punk rock girl) what do you see
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let's travel round the world just you and me punk rock girl
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i tapped her on the shoulder and said "do you have a beau"
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she looked at me and smiled and said she did not know
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(punk rock girl) give me a chance
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(punk rock girl) let's go slam dance
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we'll dress like Minnie Pearl just you and me punk rock girl
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we went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea
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the waitress said "well, no, we only have it iced."
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so we jumped up on the table and shouted, "anarchy!"
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and someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox
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it was California Dreamin' and so we started screamin'
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on such a winter's daaaaaaay
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she took me to her parents for a Sunday meal
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her father took one look at me and he began to squeal
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(punk rock girl) well it makes sense
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(punk rock girl) her dad is the vice president
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<something> Duke of Earl yes you're for me punk rock girl
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we went to a shopping mall and laughed at all the shoppers
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the security guards trailed us to a record shop
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we asked for Mojo Nixon, they said "he don't work here"
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we said "if you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin"
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we got into her car away we started rollin
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i said "how much you pay for this" she said "nothing, man, it's stolen"
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(punk rock girl) you look so wild
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(punk rock girl) let's have a child
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we'll name her Minnie Pearl just you and me
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eat fudge banana swirl just you and me
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we'll travel round the world
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just you
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and
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me
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punk rock giiiiiiiiirl
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----
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(eof)
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Hope you liked it..
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-----
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Dan Reed (Blu-Max) blu@cellar.org - AutoCad Geek - VW Lover - InlineSkater
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68 Cougar XR-7, 89 VW Golf, 72 Honda CL360Twin, Ti/99/4a, Vextrex, Timex
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