108 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
108 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
Banned From Argo
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, I sat down and finished this sucker off after dashing off that last
|
|
note. Nothing like the threat of competition to light a fire under
|
|
dormant creativity! I've been sitting on that first part for the last few
|
|
weeks!
|
|
|
|
Band from Argo
|
|
Words: Joe Ellis (c) 1992
|
|
Music: Leslie Fish BFA... of course!
|
|
|
|
We made landfall on Sol Plus Three, lookin' for a gig,
|
|
Our warp van nearly out of gas, our need for cash quite big...
|
|
We couldn't find a venue that would pay us for our songs
|
|
Until we found a spaceport bar 'twas open all night long.
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
(Strangest thing, tho... we STILL haven't found the spaceport!)
|
|
|
|
They had an open mike that night, but no one seemed to mind
|
|
That the topics and the scansion and the tunes were ill-defined.
|
|
We set up our equipment, and then struck a tuning chord,
|
|
And woke up all those sleeping fen by whom we're now adored!
|
|
|
|
We're the Band from Argo playin' live!
|
|
The Band from Argo, and it sure ain't no jive.
|
|
We're the loudest aggregation of musicians ever heard,
|
|
But on the Billboard charts, we're thirty-third...
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
With a laser!
|
|
|
|
Our guitar thing from Betelguese has 3 deft pairs of hands
|
|
It give us great advantages o'er ordinary bands!
|
|
He plays rhythm, lead, and solo all at once when at his peak,
|
|
But to tune his 3-necked Astrocaster takes a whole damn week!
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
Huh? What?? WHADDAYA MEAN ya wanna go to a 36 string!?!?
|
|
|
|
Our drummer's quite the fashion plate, feel free to take a look,
|
|
But keep your hands all to yourself, her past's an open book.
|
|
She used to be a hooker quite adept at turning tricks,
|
|
Till she killed 2 pimps and 6 Dorsai with nothing but her sticks!
|
|
|
|
We're the Band from Argo playin' live!
|
|
The Band from Argo, and it sure ain't no jive.
|
|
We're the strangest group of rockers that the union's ever seen
|
|
But on this week's Billboard chart, we're at sixteen!
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
Moving up at warp speed!
|
|
|
|
The heavy metal rockers love our keyboard man's attire,
|
|
His chrome and leather costume is the look they all desire.
|
|
They haven't figured out yet how he plays those keyboard tears. (tairs)
|
|
It's all MIDIed from a mainframe sitting right between his ears!
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
Great Ghu, he's crashed again! Get the boot disk!
|
|
|
|
Our singer has a set of pipes to make a banshee blush,
|
|
But his alcoholic intake makes it clear that he's a lush.
|
|
It's good he doesn't need a mike, because the way they're built,
|
|
When he steps up to sing I've seen more than a dozen wilt!
|
|
|
|
We're the Band from Argo playin' live!
|
|
The Band from Argo, and it sure ain't no jive.
|
|
We're got the strangest bunch of fans to ever hit the door,
|
|
But Billboard has us up to number four!
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
Move over Andrew Jackson! Oh... _Michael_ Jackson !
|
|
|
|
Our roadies are the best machines we had the nerve to steal,
|
|
We thought the price was pretty good, so we made ourselves a deal!
|
|
But I hope the Doctor learns just how to turn them off real soon,
|
|
It's quite a pain to have to keep our Daleks on the moon!
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
Oh, well... they never WERE any good around stairs.
|
|
|
|
Our agent is a special breed, he's very fair, you see.
|
|
He screws the club and band both, so it comes out evenly,
|
|
Then takes his sixty-five percent, and says that it's his due,
|
|
Because, you see, our agent is a human just like you!
|
|
|
|
We're the Band from Argo playin' live!
|
|
The Band from Argo, and it sure ain't no jive.
|
|
We're the oddest group of rockers that's been seen under this sun,
|
|
But this week's Billboard has us number one!
|
|
Yes, this week's Billboard has us number one!
|
|
|
|
spoken:
|
|
(Just one thing... what IS a billboard, anyway?)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joe Ellis o/~ The Synthetic Filker o/~ | TesserAct Studios
|
|
Internet: usr6184a@tso.uc.edu | P.O. Box 18577
|
|
GEnie: J.ELLIS22 | Fairfield, OH 45018
|
|
All filked up and no place to sing! | New Dimensions In Filk!
|
|
|
|
|
|
--- Squish v1.00
|
|
* Origin: Universal Electronics Inc [714 939-6401] HST/DS (1:103/208)
|
|
|