412 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
412 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
"Transcript of the KAOS shows"
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[a transcript of a recording of a particular Radio KAOS show, from
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gerhard@jason.nl ( Gerhard Den Hollander), ]
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< Phone in session unfortunately not on my tape>
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Jim Ladd:
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Thank you for your call,
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allright, since we have the guy here who brought us, we might
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as well do something, now before we gonna do that, let me
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introduce you to one of the intrinsical? parts of the bleeding
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heart band. This is a gentleman who has a solo album out on
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his own , which is doing quite well. He is the keyboardist for
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the Bleeding Heart Band, he was in a group called Ace on time,
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also Squeeze and most recently Mike and the Mechanics.
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Will you please welcome the keyboard player of the Bleeding
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Heart Band, mr Paul Carrack
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[TEMPTED <(c) Paul Carrack>]
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Ladies and gentleman Paul Carrack
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< band enters the stage >
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So for the very last time, we are about to link up with the
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satelite , we will begin the last show of the Radio KAOS tour
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with one more telephone call, this one from outside london
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B:- Hello, I'm Billy
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J:- Yes
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B:- I hear Radio Waves in my head
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J:- You hear Radio Waves in your head, Ok is there a request
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that you have tonight for KAOS?
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[RADIO WAVES]
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J:- That was a song called Radio Waves by RW &TBHB
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<Jingle :: "K.A.O.S. Radio>
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You're listening to a live satelite broadcast,
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from KAOS on the road
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and we've got Billy on the line
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B:- I'm from the valley's
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J:- You're from the Valley ?
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B:- No Jim you schmuck, the valleyS
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J:- Ja The Valleys
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B:- Wales, Male voice choires
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J:- Ah whales England, now is this sperm or bluetip ?
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B:- Ha Ha Ha Ha very funny Jim
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J:- Sorry, but obviously when you were put together
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batteries were not included,
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is that why your voice sounds like eh. ~~~~
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B:- I'll show you Jim
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< Bleeps, intro from WTTM >
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J:- Look all of that aside,
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I'm just glad that you're with us tonight,
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Welcome To The Machine
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[WELCOME TO THE MACHINE]
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KAOS on the road,
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<jingle>
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Let's go back to the telephones now, while you were listening
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to that last song, Billy and I were having a conversation and
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he was explaining me how he was able to call me here at the
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station
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B:- I was able to use the cordless phone Jim, otherwise I would
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be completely incommunicado
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J:- Ahah, yeah
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B:- I can hack my way into anywhere I choose
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J:- Let me get this straight, you can hack your way into...
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B:- See that light bulb next of you
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J:- Yes ?
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<BANG lightbulb explodes>
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B:- Information is power Jim,
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J:- Information is power, I like that
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But let me get this straight, you've just moved out to LA and
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you're living with you're great uncle david
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You're a long way form home pal
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< music of WNI starting>
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B:- I miss the male voice choires and Molly
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J:- Who's molly
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B:- Benny's wife
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J:- Who's benny
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B:- <Talking>Me and Ben went out
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[ WHO NEEDS INFORMATION]
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<News Flashes:
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Further Conflicts in Northern Ireland, two man have been shot
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dead by undercover securirty forces [oh]
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<>
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Australia has protested against Ethiopea about the seizure of
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a ship from Australia carrying relief aid from australia, part
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of its cargo was destined for the rebel controlled area of
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eritrea and Tigre Confisques
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<>
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...... about weapons.
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Obviously if we are producing things that we cannot need,
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that we cannot even justify to our own people, the we are
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going to supply them to others
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And when that happens then we're fuelling war
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<>
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20% of the worlds scientists are involved in weaponsresearch
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25%of R&D worldwide goes on weapons
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50 [15??]% off all british government R&D is on weapons
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more financial and intelectual recources are devoted to
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<chime> weapons worldwide
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<Babbling continues during the chime of the cash registers>
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[MONEY]
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<jingle>
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A nice version of money and Paul Carrack on vocals by the way
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And now a word from one of our sponsors:
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- Girls are you tired of your boring job,
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getting crazy by your dreed of a boss
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who has you running for coffee all day?
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Well here's the answer:
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<< The professional BIMBO-school >>
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From the Rosemary Wood Tape it in technique to the fine art
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of shredding, we'll teach you everything you need to know:
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How to frost your hair
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how to respond to a senate sub commitee
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How to stab yourself with a fingernail in your palm,
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to release inarterial blood,
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We tell you allmost all about your moronic beautifull employer
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We'll arrange for scarcely clad photo's to appear unauthorized in sleazy
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magazines
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We find a former best friend to rat on you
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We'll even arrange for you to find GOD write a book,
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and to do lecture tours in your declining years.
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You don't have to know how to type letters,
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You don't even have to know how to turn over letters
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The time is right for American women
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and you will now become a
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<< BIMBO GRADUATE >>
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just call 976-BIMBO
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**now**
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R:- Einz zvei drei anger
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[IN THE FLESH!]
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[HAVE A CIGAR]
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[PIGS III different ones]
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[WISH YOU WERE HERE]
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Mel Collins
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[MOTHER]
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J:- Wembley I give you the words and the music of Roger Waters!
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Unbelievable set of songs,
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doesn't matter which side of the atlantic your on
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In that set we heard :
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Mother from an album entitled The Wall,
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Title track from Wish You Were Here,
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Pigs from the Animals album,
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Have a Cigar also from Wish You Were Here,
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and we began with In The Flesh Part II also from The Wall.
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You & I are listening to Radio KAOS
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< jingle>
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OK' let's get back to Billy
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Billy....., Yooh Billy?
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B:- I'm sorry Jim, I was miles away, keeping an eye on molly
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J:- You were keeping an eye on Molly,
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I thought Molly lived in Wales
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B:- I had hacked my way into a surveillance satelite
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I can see whole wales from 500 Miles high Jim
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J:- Let me get this straight, You're trying to tell me that you can
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keep an eye on Molly by hacking into a government satelite
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come on
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[MOLLY'S SONG
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Hold tight Baby, baby dear in the starlight,
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there is a glow in the stars tonight,
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it's moving,
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it could be your satelite..
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Is it burn deep,
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Then will it bring me closer to thee
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Oooh 2 heartsd
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Ohh will it keep us apart
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Whooooo
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Billy,Billy,Billy,
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When you're coming home
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cause I need you back,
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and I want you back
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right now, right here
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Whooooooo
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Billy,Billy,Billy,
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where did we go
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?? And it's not all that bad
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And I now your hearts though
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And I want you to know
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I'm here for you ??
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Whoo Whoo Whoo
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Billy,Billy,Billy,
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when you're coming home
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And it's not all that bad
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and I know your hearts through
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ooohoohoo
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Ohhohohohohoh
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Goodbye little spy in the sky,
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they say that camera's don't lie,
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Am I happy, am I sad,
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am I good , am I bad
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Oh Billy, Billy, come home
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Ooooh I need you, Yeaheahheah
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]
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Lady's and gentlemen miss Doreen chanter
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Well Billy,
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if you really are as clever as you say,
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perhaps you can close the door
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<KA-CLANK>
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thank you
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[ME OR HIM]
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And now for some live rock'n'roll at K.A.O.S. where rock'n'roll
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comes out of chaos in a song called The Powers That Be
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[THE POWERS THAT BE]
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R:- Thank you we're gonna will take a break for about ten minutes and the
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we'll be back to do some more
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J:- Thank you 10 minutes is exactly 10 minurtes, we'll turn it
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over to our local station Radio KAOS will return in just a moment
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< Break , the movie, some russians (sound alikes),
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interrogating someone about UFO sightings>
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< Sound man >
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OK welcome back, the people out in the audience truck say you didn't
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do half bad for an english audience, you were nice and loud and you
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woke everybody up in LA who were trying to sleep into this, so we
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don't have to do the first half again so we'll do a few new ones
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this time So will you welcome back once more the voice of Radio KAOS,
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mr Jim Ladd
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J:- Welcome back to part 2 of the radio KAOS show, this is the
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part of the show where we take a couple of more telephones calls
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from the audience to find out what you find from the first
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part of the show, or generally what is on your mind
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Hello Roger how are you <crowd getting crazy>
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Rog: Hello there
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<just a side note, but does RW has the right word on
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the right place or doesn't he ? ;-)>
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[Phone in: <shortened, by me, long version will follow>
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J:- We have out first caller hear
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R:- Speak to me
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-Roger Will you run for president?
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- What a horrible thought, no
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-Do you believe the tide is turning ?
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- Yes and NO (at 2:00 not at the end of the show yes)
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-Where WYWH, the wall TFC personal ?
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- Yes
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-Do you think of MAggie, in the 2nd verse of PIgs ?
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- Occasionally, also on others
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]
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J:- I like to continue with the second half of Radio KAOS, but
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first a word from one of our sponsors
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<goof up, tape doesntt start>
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Hi friends ,
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welcome to forest lawn fawn hall memorial,
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in todays hitech world of space technology and robotics
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we at Fawn Hall continue to deliver new techniwues for dealing
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with the ineviitable.
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Yes friends I'm talking about the day, the grim reaper knocks on your
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door of that of a beloved one.
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Well now, in addition to our conventional mthods of burial and cremation,
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we offer you
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<<THE ALL NEW FOREST LAWN FAWN HALL MEMORIAL SHREDDING ALTERNATIVE>>
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Consider the adventages of burial of your whole family in the area once
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solely occupied by uncle Henry under the old method
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Friends shredding is the way of the future,
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Fast economical and efficient,
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so come in today, and see ,
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and ask about the latest methods of burial technology,
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<<THE ALL NEW FOREST LAWN FAWN HALL MEMORIAL SHREDDING ALTERNATIVE>>
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And remember when you think dead, think shred
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call 1-800-WESHRED today
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<>
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[GOING TO LIVE IN LA]
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<jingle>
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We think of it as main street,
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but to the rest of the world it's known as the Sunset strip
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[SUNSETSTRIP]
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<jingle>
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We've all been wondering how this next bit was going to play in londeon,
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you see it's kindof a combination of sexual innuendo and sportsfishing
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so ... <~~~~~~~~~~>
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<> LLL LL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN the fishreport with a beatA
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featuring paraquat kelly and his fishing companion cinthy the fox
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allright it's time now for the fishreport with a beat
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.....
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85 red rockhard rocca
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35 Naughty bits
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Marina dildo
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< Kinda like Rowan Atkinson/Ben Elton sketch
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"Nobody hear called Jones">
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And that'll do it for this edition of the Fishreport with a beat
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?- They liked it
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J:- LAdys and Gentleman on Gtr, Andy The HAt fairweather low
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this one for our great leader,
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???? in the south antlantic
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[GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OF MY DESERT]
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[SOUTHHAMPTON DOCK]
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J:-
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B:- Hey Jim I've been listening to your show
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J:- Billy
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B:- Look what I have found
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J:- Billy I appreciate your magician with the cordless telephone and all
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but we're on the air life and you acnnot just cut in any time you want
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B:- You'll like this
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J:- Billy <sigh>
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B:- I found this in the files on abbbey road studios
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<Billy takes control over the video display and shows a video of:
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{ARNOLD LAYNE]
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Rog: The grat syd Barrett, he shouldn't be forgot
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J:- Well Billy I don't know how you did that ~~~~~~
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Well just try to
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Have you come up with a solution yet ?
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B:- I'm getting closer
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J:- Well we let our young computer genius work on his particular problem,
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while we continue with a sonc entitled IF
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[IF]
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[5:06 AM]
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On guitar andy Fl
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<jingle>
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J:- Allright let's get back to Billy and found out how he is coming along
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B:- Just getting through some data it must look good
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<>>
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<News flash about hacking trees>
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3rd of the amazone rain forest has been mostly for cattle to supply the USA with hamburgers
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foreach westerner 2 to 3 tress die each year,
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representing an area the size of england and scotland
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[NOT NOW JOHN]
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<Fuck all that chanting /turning in Tear down the wall>
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You will remember at the beginning of the show we had a call from the
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hall from a guy by the name of sean who wanted to hear more music from
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the wall well sean this one's for you it's called:
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ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL
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[ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL] <prt I, happiest prt II>
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J:- Allright wembley, there's a fine voice tonight
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Since we're on the subject of education, in america one goes to school
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for 12 years, cramming your mind full useless facts called homework,
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try to please your parents, try tp lease your teachers, and when you
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come out at the end of these 12 years the lights are on,
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but there's nobody home
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[NOBODY HOME]
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B I'm finished Jim
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J You're finished billy ...Have you solved the problem,
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have you come to some sort of decision yet?
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B It's later than you think
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J It sure is later then I think,but what's the point
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B There s still some time < Franatic bongo drums start>
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I heard that
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Now the question is what should be done,
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B it's time to go home
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J easy maestro
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What do you mean i5t's time to go home
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<more drums>
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Billy, Easy Billy
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B It's time to go home
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[HOME]
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<bongo's, warrrom soounds (SpartingGale or something)
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bearing 060 range
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nuke analyzer
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this is the SPO confidence report now,
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mid confidence is high
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confidence high inform missile warning in form sentence
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hello we have an IRBM in the system and our confidence is high
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missile warning informed sir,
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thank you
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<and some more of this>
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B: 4 minutes and counting
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B: I've decided to stop the pain,
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B: I'm going to push the button
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B: I'm soory Jim it's the bottom of me
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Xtra verse:
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"Everybody needs somebody"
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"Everybody needs somebody"
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"Everybody needs someone they call home"
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"Everybody needs someone they call home"
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by one of the ladys
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[4 MINUTES]
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<black out>
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There must be more to life,
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then lucky strikes and some unlucky ones,
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and folded flags and pipes and drums
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< Taken from the song Folded flags, from When the wind blows>
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I wanted everyone to know what it felt like,
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you me and The Powers That Be,
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will you forgive me Jim ?
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J:- If you'll swear you'll never fly again
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[THE TIDE IS TURNING]
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Includes the lost verse
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"The tide is turning sylvester
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We shall not be dragged down in your south china sea,
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of macho bulllshit and mediocrity"
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Rog: The bleeding heart band
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Mr Mel Colins
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on the drums Graham Broad
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Jay Stapley
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Mrs Doreen chanter
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Miss Katie Kissoon
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Mr Paul Carrack
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the inevitable Andy Fairwqeather Low
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and form southern California, the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr Jim Ladd
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Thank you
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Someone:Roger Waters
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Rog: Thank you, thank you all for calling,
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we'll see you all again very soon, in about a minute
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<encored>
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Rog: We've eh OK we've got eh we've got as friend whose coming to night,
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you, most of you, will know her voice from an album from a long time ago,
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Dark Side of The Moon, and she's coming here to do some songs with us,
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Mrs Clare Torey
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[BREATHE TGGITS BRAINDAMAGE ECLIPSE]
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