55 lines
1.7 KiB
Plaintext
55 lines
1.7 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
025/068 25 Jan 92 21:37:40
|
|
From: Joel Polowin
|
|
To: All
|
|
Subj: Fifty ways...
|
|
Attr:
|
|
------------------------------------------------
|
|
In a message of <24 Jan 92> on the SF echo, David Dyer-Bennet writes to
|
|
Rosemary Ighel:
|
|
|
|
DD> John M. Ford did a Star Trek [choose-your-adventure book]
|
|
DD> commonly referred to as "50 ways to kill an ensign". I think
|
|
DD> that's the one published under "J. Michael Dodge".
|
|
|
|
Oh. My. Has this been filked before? If not...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fifty Ways to Kill an Ensign
|
|
|
|
The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to me
|
|
The red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security!"
|
|
And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to see
|
|
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
|
|
|
|
He takes a landing party down to find what's going on
|
|
A couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come along
|
|
And then before you know it - the `expendables' are gone
|
|
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
|
|
Fifty ways to kill an ensign
|
|
|
|
Just step on a rock, Jock
|
|
Get thorns from some plants, Lance
|
|
A Horta can spray, Ray
|
|
Just listen to me
|
|
Clouds drink up your blood, Bud
|
|
Computers can kill, Bill
|
|
You could lose all your salt, Walt
|
|
Kirk gets away free...
|
|
|
|
She said it grieves me so to see you with such nerves
|
|
Not ev'ryone along with Kirk will suffer from this curse
|
|
But then of course, you must recall - they sometimes suffer WORSE!
|
|
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
|
|
|
|
Just tell him, "I'm not stupid and I'm not expendable
|
|
I'm not going!" Tell him he's a Denebian slime devil
|
|
And he's overbearing, swaggering, and dictatorial
|
|
He'll find a new way to kill an ensign
|
|
Fifty-one ways to kill an ensign
|
|
|
|
|
|
--- GoldED 2.31
|
|
* Origin: Muppet Labs, Where the Future Is Being Made Today! (1:249/106.4)
|
|
|