166 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
166 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
Intro: This is a simple message thread captured from the File Shack
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BBS in Grand Island, NE. It shows just how off the wall
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some people can get when they don't know the meaning of
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of a word.
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===========================================================================
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Date: 12-12-90 (23:33) Number: 258 The File Shack
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From: A NICE GAL Refer#: NONE
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To: ANOTHER GAL Recvd: YES
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Subj: misc. Conf: (0) General
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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DM>I can embroidery, cross stitch, knit, and latch hook but never
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DM>take the time anymore. I never did learn how to crochet.
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Hi Deb,
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Sounds like you have a variety of talents! I never learned to
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crochet either or for that matter ceramics, ooh, nightmares when I think
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of ceramics. I cross stitch, sew, scherenschnitte, I love what I call
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Victorian crafts, bows and lace stuff. I am soon going to be teaching
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classes on scherenschnitte, and selling my victorian pillows at a craft
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store.
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One of those Awesome Women,
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** A Nice Gal **
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---
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þ SLMR 1.0 þ Woman don't have to be on the bbs to be awesome, just be.
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þ TomCat! 2.5 ÷ The File Shack - Power User Headquarters
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===========================================================================
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Date: 12-13-90 (20:28) Number: 1 The File Shack
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From: A CRAZY MAN Refer#: 258
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To: A NICE GAL Recvd: NO
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Subj: Oh Really? Conf: (0) General
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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¯ÿÿscherenschnitte
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I've known how to do that myself since I was 14 years old. The first
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time I saw it being done was at the local Elks lodge after a stag feed.
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I don't remember exactly all the rules and such as I have been welded to
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this computer like a siamese twin for the last two years and don't get
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out much, but this how I remember it.
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First of all I thought it was something only men did at bachelor parties
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and stag feeds, but today's life is crazy and you seem pretty worldly.
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I've seen several variations but I'll only go over the basic and
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professional versions. Since camera's are not allowed at the contests
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I'll try to explain it in great detail for those who don't know about
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it.
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It can be played in single or in teams relay-style. An indoor
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basketball court or dance floor makes the best playing surface. The
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"gear" is placed on the north end of the floor. The contestants strip
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down to their undershorts with shirts being optional. They line up on
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the south end of the floor. There are three referees, one on each end
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and one who runs around the middle. When the south ref blows his
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whistle, the contestants race to the north end of the floor to don the
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gear and start the race.
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The gear for each contestant consists of a specially modified pair of
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pantyhose. Instead of the normal two legged style, these have three
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legs. The first two legs are where you put your feet and legs, and the
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third leg has a spherical object in the foot. The size of the object or
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ball as you may call it is optional and usually relates to the ego of
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the player. I've see them range from golf balls to footballs and
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basketballs. I think softballs are best though. Anyhow, after you get
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your hose on, and your extra leg properly positioned, you are ready to
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start the main part of the race. Each player has a toy truck or
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automobile on the floor which they must push across the floor to the
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finish line on the other side using only the ball in the third foot.
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Once your ball has touched the car you must put your hands on top of
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your head and are not allowed to take them down until you cross the
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finish line.
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This can be very frustrating, and some contests can last quite a while
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depending on the skill of the contestants and the slipperiness of the
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playing surface. Sometimes it is just a simple single trip across or
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several laps around, just depends on the local rules. I don't remember
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how the final score is computed, but I do know there are penalties and
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ways to get extra points or be disqualified.
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Extra points are awarded for:
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1. Exceeding the recommended heighth and weight for the hose. Unless you
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end up ripping the crotch out in which case you are automatically
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dis-qualified.
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2. Being able to stay on a course not wider that 6 feet wide.
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Points are deducted for:
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1. Getting runs. These are cumulative. The first run costs you 1
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point, the second 2 points, the third 3 points and so on. Some
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rookies get so excited they get so many runs they loose the game
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before their balls even hit the floor.
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2. Slipping and falling down. Same way as the runs, first is 1 point,
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second is 2, and so on.
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3. Taking your hands off your head. This costs 5 points the first
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time, 10 the second, 20 the third, and so on. You can figure on
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totally loosing if it happens more than twice.
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4. Getting off course and touching another player. Depends on the
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local rules how much this costs you.
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5. Knocking down a ref could get you throw out of the game. The refs
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are easy to spot. They also wear hose, but each of their legs are
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different colors. Each ref has one white leg and one black leg.
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The refs are not allowed to have a third leg. Since they are
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constantly running around at high speed, it would be too dangerous
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to have that thing flailing around.
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6. For the relay team version, each team takes turns pushing the car
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each way. Since the hose have to be put on and taken off at each
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change, timing and preventing runs is critical. From watching TV, I'd
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say your best bet would be NoNonsense. Since the players have to
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take the hose off and put them back on several times at high speeds
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accidents are very common. I remember that at the 1976 regional
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play-off's in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that the champion at that time ended
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up with one leg inside out. He was severely injured, but the team
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still ended up coming in third.
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The professional version is played both with single contestants and
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relay teams. There are more rules, but the main difference is that the
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players have to wear at least three inch heels and support hose are not
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allowed.
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I can't hardly believe women would engage in such nonsense, but these
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are the days of equality. I'd like to come to one of your games and
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see you play. I'd be cheering for you all the way.
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---
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þ SLMR 1.05 #T250 þ This message will self-destruct in 10 days
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Prologue: The names where changed to protect the guilty. We have a
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great bbs here. We're not trying to be a monster 10 gig
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60 line operation. We're just a friendly place to visit.
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We operate by the golden rule. We treat our callers as we
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ourselves wish to be treated. Not only do we run a bbs,
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we have a computer store and we participate on other bbs's
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too. We have a very active message base dealing with
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computer topics (mostly utilities and batch file stuff), rock
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music, and as you have seen here --- off-the-wall humor.
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So if you're looking for a new place to tell your jokes,
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make some new friends, learn some new tricks, trade some
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files, and just have an all out good time, give us a call.
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We're here all the time, we're 9600 HST, and we want to
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hear from you soon.
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Ted McKinney, Sysop
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File Shack BBS
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PS. Oh Yeah, the number is 308-384-1395
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**************** Merry Christmas & Happy New Year ****************
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Wishing you and your loved ones the best in
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1991
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