493 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
493 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
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2 ************************ INSTALLED: 6 JAN 86 ***********************
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3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
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4 ************************************************************
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5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
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6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
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7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
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8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
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9 no restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
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10 privately owned, I retain thepright to remove any and all messages which
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11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
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12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
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13 to leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
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14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
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15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
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16 The line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
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17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
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18 *************************************************************************
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19
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20 hi ya jim...i'm at the top!!!!!!!!!!!!
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21 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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22 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( ripple )))
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23 wow I am getting closer!!!!!!!!!!!
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24 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( ripple )))
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25 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$
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26
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27 One Long Saturday...
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28 (Conclusion)
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29
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30 Amogo continued, "But certainly not torture! That would be uncivilized! We know that you were acting on behalf of
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31 your world and your people, and a noble effort it was at that. To be completely honest, my comrades and I have
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32 developed a fondness for you and we do have a special place in mind for you after the invasion. We have noticed that
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33 your kind has a fondness for procreation. After we have domesticated your species, we will need to set up special
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34 breeding facilities to keep the race from dying out. We can place you within one of these facilities and you will be
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35 able to procreate to your heart's content for the rest of your life. Surely this will make you happy."
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36 Under other circumstances he would have responded as anybody else might have but the events of the day had taken
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37 its toll on his rationality. He was actually touched. "Gee, fellas, I don't know what to say..."
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38 It was right then that the waiter brought the food. He set a huge pizza down in the middle of the table. A moment
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39 later he brought the seven cokes and placed one in front of each of them. Jim picked up a piece and bit into it
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40 hungrily. Through a mouthful, he mumbled, "Dig in." After they looked at him distrustfully he said, "No tricks. We do
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41 actually eat this stuff."
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42 Amogo cautiously picked up a piece and nibbled at it. He gave the okay and soon they were all munching on pizza.
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43 The six aliens were chatting happily back and forth in their own language, leaving Jim out completely. He didn't mind.
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44 He felt like being quiet at the moment. He was still trying to let it sink in that all this was really happening.
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45 At least there was one good thing coming out of this. It would be nice to get laid whenever he wanted. He guessed
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46 every pile of crap had a silver lining...
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47 His train of thought was interrupted by a groan. One of the aliens had collapsed in his chair and was
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48 semi-concious. The rest looked woozy. Concerned, Jim asked, "What is it? What's wrong?"
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49 "Don't know." Amogo groaned, "Need to get back to the ship to analyze..."
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50 "Right." Jim said. He threw a ten down on the table and got up. He had to carry the unconcious alien to the car
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51 and the rest staggered behind him. On the way home he tried to think.
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52 Was it delayed effects from his murder attempts? Maybe they picked up a germ from the scummy pondwater. Or
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53 internal injuries from the explosion. Hell, maybe they got food poisoning. Jim suddenly felt a little ill himself but
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54 he was sure it was just his imagination. He hoped.
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55 He had to carry two aliens into the ship, ducking low as he walked up the ramp. The interior was much as he
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56 imagined, all flashing lights and incomprehensible gadgets. The unconcious ones were taken off through a door too small
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57 for him by their fellows. Amogo sat down in front of what looked like a computer console. His fingers flew deftly over
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58 the keys. Suddenly there came pathetic wretching sounds through the door and it occured to Jim that he was probably the
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59 first person in human history to actually hear a genuine alien puke its guts out. Somehow the significance of this
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60 historic moment eluded him. It had been a long day...
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61 Amogo swore in his own laguage. "That is it! Chemicals!"
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62 "Chemicals?"
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63 "Yes! Preservatives! Artificial ingrediants! By the great Gmork, how can you consume such substances?" He studied
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64 the scrolling readout for another moment. "Some of the most lethal chemicals in the known universe are represented in
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65 your foodstuffs!"
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66 "Hell, I always liked their pizza."
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67 The computer printed its findings and Amogo sighed. "I see. Obviously it doesn't affect you humans as intensely as
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68 most intelligent beings. But it permeates the whole environment on this planet. Even without eating the local food,
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69 anyone we sent woud last barely five rotations before succumbing."
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70 It took Jim a moment to realize what Amogo was saying. "This means the invasion is off?"
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71 "Yes." Amogo said sadly. "An invasion would be ill-advised."
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72 Jim actually felt bad for him. "I'm sorry. Any way I could help?" It took him a moment to realize what he was
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73 saying.
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74 "No. We must leave immediately, or the effects will become terminal. It is unfortunate. I actually liked this
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75 world."
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76 Moments later Jim was standing by his back door watching the saucer slowly rise. Unlike most reported UFO's, it
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77 had no outside lights and was totally silent (Guess they don't like to advertise, Jim thought.). Within moments it was
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78 high overhead and he finally lost it against the dark sky. They were gone.
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79 "Don't hurry back." he said softly, and went inside. He pulled a beer from the fridge and sat down at the kitchen
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80 table, sipping it quietly. There had to be a moral to this somewhere. "Oh well," he said to himself, "I guess one man's
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81 pizza is another man's... Naah." He was obviously more tired than he thought. He dumped the rest of the beer in the
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82 sink and snapped off the light and headed for the bedroom.
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83 With weekends like this he'd prefer no days off at all. Staving off an invasion was even harder than regular work.
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84 Not even bothering to undress, he just collapsed full length on the bed. At least it's over, and he'll never have to go
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85 through that again. That pleasant thought accompanied him all the way to wherever the sleeping mind goes.
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86 It was just as well that he hadn't seen what had landed in the back yard right after he went in. Or the two eyes
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87 on top of long green stalks that were peering in the window at that moment.
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88 It was just as well...
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89
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90 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# J.D. SILVERMAN $#$#$#$#$#$
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91 OF
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92 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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93 John Silverman: Thanks. I enjoyed the story!
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94 Emu: Just be thankful that spell check doesn't happen any more. (On
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95 second thought perhaps it should, you'd be amazed at how poorly most of
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96 us spell -- as for fog index, I think I'm still the foggiest!)
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97 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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98 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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99 Piper: I think you've got me beat (on the fog index).
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100 John Silverman: A good story..... you should send it out.
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101 Dr. Frankenstupe
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102 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
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103
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104 * HELLO *
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105 EXIT
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106 /EXIT
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107 *********************************
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108 * *
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109 * *
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110 * For sale or trade *
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111 * TRS-80 Model I *
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112 * SS/SD Disk Drive *
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113 * RS-232C, LPVII Printer *
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114 * *
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115 * $200.00 or trade for *
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116 * 100cps printer. *
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117 * (503)2 245-xxxx (6-9pm) *
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118 * Tim Moody *
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119 *********************************
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120 how is the best way to use this bbs as anew one? george wood 2837929
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121 exit
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122 HEY TIM: TANYA MIGHT NOT LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!
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123 AND SILVERMAN, YOUR STORY SOUNDED A LITTLE LIKE WAR OF THE WORLDS, AND I
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124 DONT MEAN TO INTEND THAT ITS IN THAT LEAGUE, BUT THAT
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125 IS THE SAME WAY THE ALEINS DIED IN WAR OF THE WORLDS, FROM
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126 NORMAL STUFF INTHE ATMOSPHERE AND STUFF. BUT NOT TOO WORRY, PIZZA
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127 CAN BE DEADLY STUFF SOMETIMES, ITS JUST THATI THOUGHT I HEARD
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128 IT ALL BEFORE SOMEWHERE, THE MILITAY CANT KILL THE INVADERS SO
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129 SOME SINGLE PERSON ACOMPLISHES IT. I DON'T KNOW WHO
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130 WOULD PUBLISHES SOMETHING LIKE IT, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS
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131 TRY. WAR OF THR WORLDS WAS A GOOD MOVIE TOO.
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132 T.H.
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133 G;N
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134 ______________________________________________________________________________
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135 And who says our educational system is in dire straits? I submit these compilations as
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136 testimony to the debate, taken from children, newspapers, and teachers:
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137
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138 "This paper needs a few comas."
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139 "When papa passed away they burned his ashes and brought them home in a urinal."
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140 "We sat down to a picnic dinner of fricken chicasee."
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141 "You shake milk in a big stirrer machine to make it homicidal."
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142 "It was so hot during football practice that a lot of kids keeled over from nervous prostitution. Rusty Banazek broke
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143 his clavichord in scrimmage."
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144 "At the Knights of Columbus dinner, they will serve the same fish as last year."
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145 "Tomorrow Helen Henry visits the home of a retired Navy Captain and his wife, an exotic U-shaped structure."
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146 "LOST: Male cat. Needs medication. Owner very worried, neutered and declawed."
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147 "Winners at the card party were William Davenport, a turkey, and Mrs. Trudy Baker, a chicken."
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148 "Dear Teacher: Stanley had to miss some school. He had an attack of whooping cranes in his chest."
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149 "Dear Teacher: Lynda was away as she had stripe infection."
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150 "Dear Teacher: Please excuse the stink on Bill's clothes. We've been spraying the garden because it is full of
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151 abnoxus incests."
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152 "Dear Teacher: Please excuse Jane. She had an absent tooth. Wednesday she will have an appointment with the
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153 orinthologist."
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154 "Dear Teacher: Please excuse my daughter's absence for the past week, as she had a case of the fool."
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155 ____________________________ A WORD FROM THE WISE - PART XX __________________
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156
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157 and now, a new form of birth control...................
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158 Chuckle of the day...
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159
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160 O O
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161 N N
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162 \ /
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163 C====C
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164 / \
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165 ON--C C--NO
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166 \\ //
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167 C---C
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168 / \
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169 N N
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170 O O
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171
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172 How does it work?
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173 It says NO in every position.
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174
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175 Chuckle of the day...
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176 ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////99
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177 I would think, in my opinion, it appears that the above creation could lack a distinct form of what some may call humor.
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178 ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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179
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180 Liked your story, Silverman. Delta Five
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181 O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+ POPPING IN O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+
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182 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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183 I HAVE A DISK II DRIVE
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184
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185
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186
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187
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188
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189 REPACE
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190 REPLACE
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191 RUBOUT
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192 EXIT
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193
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194
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195
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WELCOME TO BWMS (BACKWATE
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196 TYE 'HELP' OR 'LIST' TO S
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197
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198 The sun was just starting to slip below the horizon, casting an orange glow across the
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199 surface of the glassy sea. On the beach, date palms swayed in the gentle south sea breeze, their
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200 shadows wavering in time, growing longer only to
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201 disappear under a purple velvet sky as darkness
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202 enveloped the island. Faint rustlings in the tropical forest behind, nocturnal creatures in
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203 search of prey, night birds echoing their plaintive cries, seeking their mates. In the distance the
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204 splash of a waterfall, faintly heard by the two men sitting on the sand. The small fire before them
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205 had died down, and glowing embers sparkled as drops of windborne surf dropped in their midst.
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206 The serenity of the moment was broken as one man spoke, a quiet urgency inflected in his otherwise
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207 calm manner. "It's confirmed. Overlook commenced." The other man smiled silently to himself. He was
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208 satisfied. He had done the impossible. "Do you realize what you have..." He stopped. Of course
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209 he realized. He had planned it that way. "Look, I don't want any part of this. If you could have heard
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210 what the secretary had to say AFTER everyone else had left..., I mean My God, man, you just can't go around
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211 forcing the President of the United States to cater to your own..." He was cut off by the other man, and was relieved to
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212 He wished he hadn't said anything, but his outrage was not easily contained. "It worked, did it not?"
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213 He continued. "If the White House hadn't blown my cover three years ago, they, WE, wouldn't be in this position."
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214 They made our bed, and now we must all lie in it, he mused. The wind had picked up a bit. Far
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215 offshore he heard the clanging of a bell buoy.
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216 Delta Five cracked open another can of Budweiser. He picked up a small branch, and poked at the fire.
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217
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218 "Yeah, I guess I did stir things up a bit, he said to the man with the two stars on his collar. Well,
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219 I want McKane, and I shall have McKane."
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220 The General glowered at him, the irritation in his voice bordering on outrage. "And then what, Eric?"
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221 It had been a long time since Delta Five had heard anyone use his name, and he reflected on other times.
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222 "Then, my dear General, I will come in. I will go back to work for the agency. Who is to say otherwise?"
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223 Who is to take the obvious risk of NOT allowing me to return?"
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224
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225 The last rays of the sinking sun highlighted the trail of black smoke as the Lear swept across the
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226 Western sky.
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227 The General stood up, and watched as the silhouette disapperaed beyond the horizon.
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228 Officially, he opposed this rogue agent with an unparalleled audacity. Personally,... he wished
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229 his old friend success
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230 [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*] [*=*]
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231 [*=*] DELTA FIVE [*=*] [*=*] [*=*]
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232 Help me crashproof my bbs system, I welcome you to try.......................
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233 My number is 636-xxxx and i believe i can finally keep the crashers out. Im so confident i invite you hackers out there
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234 to give it a try....Thanks
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235 Jason Thorn
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236 ********************************************************************************Master Sysop of T-Comm Color graphics bo
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237 ards Inc.... If you are interested in buying crashproof graphic software like
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238 mine leave a note in the op's feedbag.
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239 OK?
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240 Got it all you would be hackers!
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241 Thats spelled' Crash proof' ,finally, whew!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^636-xxxx 7/24 only pd software.
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242 ################################################################################""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
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243 """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
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244
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245 OK
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246 WE
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247 Will
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248 Try
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249 To
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250 Crash
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251 Your
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252 Board!
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253 What a strange request?
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254
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255
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256
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257
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258
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259
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260 ************** 636-xxxx ************* 636-xxxx ************ 636-xxxx ***********
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261 [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Long winded are those that do not have m
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262 uch to say or do with their spare tim.
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263 Sems to hold true here. I have never seen such poor writing in such abundance.
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264 Until this board........................................................................................................
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265 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@I think i like random patterns better th
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266 an the logic flow of the stories.///////////////////////////////////////////////
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267
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268 /=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
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269 '/| DELTA V - If you are still out there
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270 |````//| looking for me, I'm still here. Just
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271 |```///| Check with your MINOX for the pattern
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272 |\`////| to the left, it should give you the face
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273 |\\////| you are looking for. What's that, the
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274 |\\\///| emulsion is damaged on that particular
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275 |`\\\/'| image? Mmmm, better luck next term.
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276 |``\\''| Piner.
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277 /=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
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278
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279 i want another story...i want another story....
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280 _______________________________________________________
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281 {}
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282 To: "Abundance"
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283 We all gotta start someplace... maybe you should give it a shot yourself.
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284 {}
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285
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286 ______________________________JD 2446438.5931______________________________
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287 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
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288 Picky: Oops! I guess that I better pull out my speller after all. We all
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289 over confident every once in a while...
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290 J.D.S.: That didn't happen to be a Pizza Slut ('scuse me, "Hut") did it?
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291 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
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292 Mr. Silverman: Bravo! +Dante-
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293
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294 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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295 JUST CHECKING IN, NO TIME TO STIR UP TROUBLE TONIGHT
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296 +++++++++++++++++++++000000001TED++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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297
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298 01/07/86.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.003
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299
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300 Miranda could hardly believe that she had let herself be
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301 captured so easily! With all of her supposed powers, someone slips
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302 right up from behind and surprises her. "Let that be a lesson!" she
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303 admonished herself. "Now, to get myself out of this mess..."
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304 "Quit that mumbling!" the old man barked. Miranda didn't even
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305 realize that she had been talking out loud. She started thinking
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306 quietly to herself.
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307 "If I used a transformation, I could get rid of the ropes. But
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308 then what?" Illusion seemed to be the obvious choice, but she'd never
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309 tried a full sensory illusion on another person like what she'd need
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310 now. Little noises and such were fine, but how could that help her now?
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311 She decided to try a warm-up.
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312 The old man looked to the sound of the fly. "Huh? Where is that
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313 thing?" The sound stopped, and he went back to his cards. She tried it
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314 again, and giggled quietly as he jumped up to slap at the sound.
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315 Sitting back down, the old man grumbled to himself. "Damn bugs.
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316 Nuthin' like get'n stuck watchin' a load o' little girls and big flies.
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317 What am I doin' in this rat infested hole anyway?" Back at the cards,
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318 he drew a couple more cards and came up with the queen of hearts.
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319 Fingering it, a smile slithered across his face and he glanced over at
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320 Miranda, obviously the oldest and most mature of the girls in the shack.
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321 He knew what the queen of hearts could mean. Miranda felt the glance
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322 become a long lewd stare.
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323 Curious to see what card would follow, he drew again. Miranda
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324 made sure that the card he saw was the ace of spades. The grin melted
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325 to a frown as he slipped the black card under the deck. Miranda relaxed
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326 just a little.
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327 She looked around the room to get a better idea of her
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328 surroundings. There were two doors, one to the outside and one
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329 presumably to a back room. The one window near the outside door was
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330 cracked and partly covered with a dirty sackcloth. One table, one
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331 chair, both being used by the old man, and an oil lantern on the table.
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332 The shadows from the lamp flickered over the other girls on the floor as
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333 if to animate their silent bodies with the changing light. A couple of
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334 empty wine sacks lay crumpled in a back corner. Miranda's little pack
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335 was no where to be seen. "I must have dropped it when I got hit," she
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336 thought.
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337 The door suddenly opened, and both she and her guard jumped at
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338 the sound. In came two other men, struggling with a large figure.
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339 "Now, don't drop her. We don't want to damage the merchandise."
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340 "Oh, come on! If you hadn't picked such a big one... besides, I
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341 told you the big ones don't get near as good a price. Hey, Georgio, you
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342 still awake? Close the door, huh?" They set the girl down.
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343 "The ship's gonna be here this morning, isn't it?" asked Georgio.
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344 "Yep, and we gotta make these pretties look good, or we'll get
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345 stuck with the whole lot of 'em." said the first. "Did you remember the
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346 oil for the rope burns?" Georgio shook his head. "Damn it, Georgio,
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347 you have to do something to earn your share. Look, we don't have much
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348 time. The boat should be here as soon as its dawn. Angelo, you take
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349 Georgio and meet it as it comes in. I'll get things ready here." They
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350 left, Georgio following grudgingly behind Angelo. "Now, what to do..."
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351 There were now seven girls on the floor, and Miranda was the
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352 farthest from the door. She watched as the big man that was left look
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353 over the girl closest to the door. A different guard now, but Miranda
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354 thought that she was ready to try. She had decided what to do, and she
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355 knew that she had to do it now.
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356 The moment he touched the first girl's bindings, his hands
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357 seemed to flare white hot. He whipped his hands away and waved them
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358 about as if to cool them, but the sensation remained. He looked at the
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359 girl, and his eyes and ears told him that the hair was now writhing
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360 snakes, hissing and circling, trying to strike out at him. He looked at
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361 the other girls, and they had all changed into night-marish demons.
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362 Then he saw the one on the end, rising up as a fog, grinning and
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363 cackling at him as if a messenger from hell. The figure stared at him
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364 and said one word to him: "Leave!" He heeded the advice.
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365
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366 Miranda slumpt to the floor exhausted. She'd never performed
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367 such an elaborate illusion before and didn't realize what kind of drain
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368 it was. There was more that she had to do though, so she concentrated.
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369 The ropes on the other girls soon dissolved to dust, but this time not
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370 nearly as easy as hers did before the illusion.
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371 Gathering her strength, Miranda got up to leave. There was
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372 little more that she could do for the other six girls now but call for
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373 the constable.
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374
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375 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
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376 Picky: how's my spelling this time?
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377 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
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378 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\379
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380 On 10 Jan, look in your box. You will have mail\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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381 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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382 Dr F: Ah, well, the fog of the writing reflects the clarity of the thought!
|
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383 Emu: I'm hooked. Please continue the story!
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384 New persons: Best way to break in is to observe for a time, then try your
|
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385 hand. No comment should be taken as approval. Be prepared for some acid
|
||
386 comments, thicken your skin, and take constructive criticism as it is meant.
|
||
387 Ignore destructive comments and persevere -- you get to be an old-timer
|
||
388 around here pretty fast. Good luck, and I'll be watching for your writing.
|
||
389 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
|
||
390 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\mail box?\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\?????\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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||
391 -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+-
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||
392 I haven't got the foggiest! I came in 41 out of 41 with a 2.9 -- ha!
|
||
393 -+- -+- -+- -+- -sure, I kept track!- -+- -JUGGLER- -+- -+-
|
||
394
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||
395 Emu: Didn't notice a word. Glad to have been part of helping you improve
|
||
396 yourself!
|
||
397
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||
398 To Abundance: there's nothing worse than criticizing others works without in any
|
||
399 way substantiating the claim. If you're gonna be so critical, at least give
|
||
400 some advice
|
||
401 from your obviously superior intellect. Just jumping in and saying everyone
|
||
402 is lousy only reflects on the quality of your opinion, not of their writing.
|
||
403 Besides, if we start getting paid for this stuff, then you can talk like that,
|
||
404 otherwise, keep that kind of nonsense to yourself as we're just struggling
|
||
405 amateurs having fun.
|
||
406
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407 Silverman: As most have agreed, a funny, and fun, story. Also agree with the
|
||
408 above that War of the Worlds came to mind, which is no problem as far as I'm
|
||
409 concerned. Might be saleable, but keep in mind that a fun story is a long long
|
||
410 way from one that will sell to a amagzine. Rewrites, rewrites, rewrites, and
|
||
411 then a few more oughta do it...
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412
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413 Mr. Picky
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414 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ TSSC @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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415
|
||
416 All right all you college smarties. Tell me this one: when is it proper to use
|
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417 'that', and when should you use 'which' ?
|
||
418 I.E.: "Coke is the one THAT refreshes,"
|
||
419 or: "Coke is the one WHICH refreshes."
|
||
420
|
||
421 It seems to me that "that" is overused, in speech most people say "He is the
|
||
422 one THAT said that," when it should be, "He is the one WHO said that."
|
||
423
|
||
424 But are which and that interchangeable?
|
||
425 Fill me in oh learned ones...
|
||
426
|
||
427 I also have noticed that 'its' and 'it's' are often screwed up. It's a strange
|
||
428 exception, but "it's" is used to mean 'it is' and the possesive stays without
|
||
429 the " ' " mark. The english language:
|
||
430 It's strange in its ways, indeed!
|
||
431
|
||
432 so that or which or both or what???????????????????????
|
||
433
|
||
434 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
|
||
435
|
||
436 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
||
437 THE DAILY DITTO
|
||
438 Bringing newsworthy news to new newsreaders
|
||
439
|
||
440
|
||
441 GENERAL MEETS WITH OUTCAST SECRET AGENT
|
||
442 By Franklin Pervis
|
||
443
|
||
444 My sources have revealed that a high ranking army general has actually met and
|
||
445 given approval to the activities of that international criminal, Delta V. It
|
||
446 is rumored that Delta V is holding both the President and several American
|
||
447 cities hostage unless his demands are met.
|
||
448 Other government agencies are not commenting on the Delta V situation, but my
|
||
449 sources tell me that nearly every branch of the U.S. government special
|
||
450 services are on top alert for this agent, Delta V.
|
||
451 The General is as yet, unidentified. Pictures of the meeting were taken on an
|
||
452 undisclosed South Seas island, but the vessel carrying our photographer suddenly
|
||
453 disappeared in international waters just fifteen minutes after radioing the
|
||
454 message that the film was on its way. The Coast Guard is dismissing the
|
||
455 disappearance as another 'Bermuda Triangle'-type incident, but this reporter
|
||
456 believes that foul play was involved.
|
||
457
|
||
458 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
||
459 Delta: downloads have certainly added to the descriptiveness (and use of
|
||
460 adjectives) of your writing!
|
||
461 ***
|
||
462 Beauty if in the eye of the beholder.
|
||
463 Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
|
||
464 *** SOME SIMPLE 'SAGE' ADVICE.
|
||
465 ch/if/is
|
||
466 It's hard to be ea sage when you can't even spell IS.
|
||
467 That just illustrates my point.: Nobody's perfect.
|
||
468 ***
|
||
469 //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
|
||
470 mutual admiration - mutual admiration - mutual admiration among friends.
|
||
471 WELL, SOMETIMES I JUST LOG ON AND TYPE IT IN AS I MAKE IT UP. OTHER TIMES I UPLOAD; WHEN
|
||
472 I HAVE THE TIME. THIS PERVIS GUY IS DREAMING...
|
||
473 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
|
||
474 ...then how about the ST title, "That (oops) "That Which Survives"? I believe that the phrase
|
||
475 "COKE is the one THAT refreshes" is the correct usage. I generally tend
|
||
476 to think that the word "that" is for things, ie rocks, animals in a
|
||
477 general sense, vegetables, etc. when ... (open mouth, insert foot). Excuse
|
||
478 me, but it really depends upon the context. If the statement is answering
|
||
479 the question "Which one is the Coke?", the answer should be "Coke is the
|
||
480 one THAT refreshes." If the question is "Which is the refreshing drink?"
|
||
481 the answer could be "Coke is the one WHICH refreshes me", or dropping the
|
||
482 "me" when it's (notice the proper usage of "it's) understood who is
|
||
483 , pardon me, whom is refreshed. Personally, I can't stand Coke, Pepsi, or
|
||
484 any other 'cola'. Give me Squirt, or give me death!
|
||
485 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>...psu-cs!nelsons<><>
|
||
486 ______________________________JD 2446439.5932______________________________
|
||
487 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
||
488 -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+- -+-
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