631 lines
32 KiB
Plaintext
631 lines
32 KiB
Plaintext
NUMBER OF LINES: 629
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1 WELCOME TO THOSE OF YOU FORBODING SOULS THAT HAVE GOTTEN TO DRIVE 'B'
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2 ********************* REMOVED: 20 MAR 82 **********************
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3 WELCOME TO BWMS (BACKWATER MESSAGE SYSTEM) MIKE DAY SYS OP
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4 ***************************************************************
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5 ABOUT THE SYSTEM:
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6 BWMS IS AN 'ELECTRONIC BLACKBOARD' IT DOES NOT STORE MESSAGES, BUT RATHER
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7 PROVIDES A MEDIUM ON WHICH TO PLACE INFORMATION IN ANY FORM DESIRED.
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8 THIS DOES HAVE ITS LIMITATIONS AS WITH A BLACKBOARD ANYTHING ON THE SYSTEM
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9 CAN BE READ OR MODIFIED BY ANYONE ELSE.
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11 IN A WAY THIS IS USEFUL AS, IT PROVIDES A MORE EASY GOING ATMOSPHERE
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12 FOR THE USERS AND THIS IN TURN GENERATES INFORMATION FLOW THAT WOULD NOT
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13 NORMALLY OCCUR ON THE MORE COMPUTERIST ORIENTED SYSTEMS.
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14 SYSTEM CONFIGURATION:
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15 THE SYSTEM CONSISTS OF A SHUGART SA400 5" DISK DRIVE, RUNNING IN A
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16 'DISKWRITER' (A DATA ENTRY COMPUTER BUILT BY EDGE TECHNOLOGY) THE NORMAL
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17 DATA ENTRY SOFTWARE HAS BEEN SLIGHTLY MODIFIED TO BE MORE FITTING TO
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18 THE USE ON THIS SYSTEM. THE COMPUTER USES A 1771 DISK CONTROLER
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19 IT HAS 1K OF RAM STORAGE, AND 8K OF EPROM (2708) IN WHICH THE PROGRAM
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20 RESIDES. THE ENTIRE SYSTEM IS RESET ON EVERY CALL .
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21 THE DISK WILL HOLD A MAXIMUM OF 629 LINES (IRREGARDLESS OF LENGTH)
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22 WITH A MAXIMUM LENGTH OF 128 CHARACTERS PER LINE. COMMUNICATIONS IS
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23 PROVIDED THRU A PC3-103 MODEM CONFIGURED AS AN AUTO ANSWER MODEM.
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24 ************************************************************
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25 TO ALL WHO HAVE MADE IT TO THIS DRIVE : HELLO!!!
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26 YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THE SYSTEM WAS DOWN LAST NIGHT
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27 THIS WAS THE REASON (DRIVE B IS NOW ON LINE).
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28 IT WAS DOWN LONGER THAN EXPECTED, AS THE POWER SUPPLY MODS WERE
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29 GIVING ME TROUBLE.
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30
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31 SYSTEM OPERATION SHALL BE THAT DRIVE A WILL BE LEFT UNPROTECTED
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32 SO THAT YOU CAN FOOL AROUND ON IT AND USE THE CHANGE DELETE AND REPLACE
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33 COMMANDS THE B DISK HOWEVER WILL CONTINUE TO BE ENTER ONLY SO THAT
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34 IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT DESTROYED BY SOME JERK
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35 YOU CAN PUT IT THERE. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND HOWEVER THAT THE DISKS
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36 ONLY HOLD 649 LINES EACH, AND AS SUCH I WILL PERIODICALLY CLEAN THEM
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37 UP ANY WAY SO AS TO KEEP THEM OPEN FOR ALL USERS.
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38
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39 I HOPE THAT THIS MAKES THINGS A BIT EASIER FOR YOU.....
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40 ********* SYSOP *********************************************
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41 ****************************************************************
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42
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43 P r o g r a m m e r s t e n c o m m a n d m e n t s
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44
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45 1. Thou shalt have an open mind.
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46
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47 2. Thou shalt not take anything for granted. (Thou shalt check
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48 up and make damn sure.)
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49
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50 3. Thou shalt have a good time and thy work shall be fun. The
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51 fruits of thy labor shall be fun for the operators.
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52
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53 4. Thou shalt respect the intelligence of thy operators, and
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54 love them as thyself.
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55
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56 5. Thou shalt not gather in small and divisive groups, and do
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57 violence upon the other.
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58
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59 6. Thou shalt fear no one, yet thou shalt fear and dispise
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60 sloth and dullness, tastelessness, and gutlessness, for
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61 these will surely bring down upon thy house the wrath of
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62 systems and the curse of operations.
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63
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64 7. Thou shalt walk in dignity with thy head held high, and
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65 help those around you to do likewise.
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66
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67 8. Thou shalt not commit adultery on company time or furniture.
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68
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69 9. Thou shalt not panic, thou shalt not admit thy mistakes, for
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70 they shall be forgiven.
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71
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72 10. Thou shalt adjust when everything around thee whirleth and
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73 screameth and seemeth to falleth apart, and say to thyself
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74 calmy, this too shall pass.
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75
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76 ...Amen
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77
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78 ****************************************************************
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79
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80 CDP Exam -- short form
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81
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82 Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all
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83 questions. Time limit: 4 Hours.
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84
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85 1. Mathematics: Derive calculas. Discuss the Newtonian
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86 approach to differential equations and explain where he went
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87 wrong. Develope an improved notation for proving mathematical
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88 theories, and recant the Principia Mathematica using your notational
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89 system.
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90
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91 2. History of computation: Discuss Aristotle's contributions to
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92 number theory, and trace the development of mechanical computation
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93 from early Phoenicia through the present day, paying special
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94 attention to the role of the abacus in Charles Babbages early
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95 childhood. Be brief.
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96
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97 3. Electronics: Underneath you seat you will find a bucket of sand
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98 with a high germanium content. Develope the transistor. Using your
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99 transistor, create a working model of the Cray-1 and use it to prove
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100 the Theory of Relativty.
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101
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102 4. Accounting: In the next room, the National Association of Certified
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103 Public Accountants is assembled. Prepare a speech discrediting the
|
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104 theory of double-entry bookkeeping, and convice them that auditing
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105 is contrary to the national interest.
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106
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107 5. Operating Systems: Some iron filings, a magnifying glass, and a
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108 magnetic tape containing the source listing of OS-VS1 are on the
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109 desk beside you. Describe the changes necessary to convert OS-VS1
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110 for the IBM 1401. Explain the impications of your changes for the
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111 SEC, the Federal Reserve System, and the 14th Amendment.
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112
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113 6. Computer Operations: Four astronauts have just been launched on a
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114 mission to mars. Outline the improvements to be made in the organ-
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115 ization of the computer room at Mission Control in Houston.
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116 Implement the changes you are recommending using the telephone on
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117 the desk beside you. Be prepared to justify your decisions.
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118
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119 7. Management information: Construct a plan for taking over your
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120 company using the company's computer. Leave a copy of the plan
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121 here.
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122
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123 **************************************************************************
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124 *****************************
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125
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126 Genesis Release 2.5
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127
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128 IN THE BEGINNING the Project Manager created the Programming
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129 Staff. The Programming Staff was without form and structure.
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130 And the Project Manager said, "Let there be Orgranization;"
|
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131 and there was Organization. And the Project Manager saw that
|
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132 Organization was good; and the Project Manager separated the
|
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133 workers from the supervisors, and he called the supervisors
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134 --"Management", and he call the workers--"Exempt".
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135 And the Project Manager said, "Let there be a mission
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136 in the midst of the Organization, and let it separate the
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137 workers, one from another." And the Project Manager created
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138 the mission and he called it--"The System." And the Project
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139 Manager separated those who were to benifit from The System
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140 from those who were to build it. And he call the former--"User,"
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141 and he called the latter--"Programmers".
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142 And the Project Manager said, "Let all the Programmers in the
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143 Organization be gathered together into one place, and let a Chief
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144 Programmer be brought up to lead them." And it was so. And the
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145 Project Manager saw that he was competent.
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146 And the Project Manager said unto the Cheif Programmer, "Create
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147 for me a schedule, so that I may look upon the schedule and know
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148 the Due Date." And the Chief Programmer went among his staff and
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149 consulted with them. And the staff was divided into two parts,
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150 one part was called--"Analysts," and the other part was called--
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151 "Application Programmers." And the Analysts went back to their
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152 desks and estimated, as was their custom. And it came to pass that
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153 each Analyst brought his estimate to the Cheif Programmer whereupon
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154 he collected them, summarized them, and drew a PERT Chart.
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155 And the Chief Programmer went unto the Project Manager and
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156 presented to him the estimate saying, "It shall take ten months."
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157 And the Project Manager was not pleased and said, "I have brought
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158 you up from the depths of the staff; you have not grasped the
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159 'Big Picture.'" And the Project Manager hired consultants, and
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160 authorized overtime, and he said to the Chief Programmer, "Behold,
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161 see all that I have done! The Due Date will be in five months."
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162 The Chief Programmer was much impressed and went from before the
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163 Project Manager and proceeded to implement The System.
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164 And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the Users and
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165 said, "Let Specifications be written." And there were meetings,
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166 and lunches, and telephone calls. And the Specifications were
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167 written. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, one month.
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168 And the Chief Programmer examined the Specifications and saw
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169 that they were too ambitious. And he separated the mandatory
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170 features from the optional features. And he called the manditory
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171 features--"Requirements," and he called the optional features--
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172 "Deferred," and the Users called him names. And the Chief Programmer
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173 gave the Specification to the Analysts and said, "Let the Requirements
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174 be analyzed and let the Files be designed." And it was so. And
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175 the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Software Houses put forth
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176 their salesmen, and let us have a Data Management System." And
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177 it was so. The Software Houses brought forth all manner of
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178 Salesmen who presented their packages, and claimed wonderous things
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179 for them, each according to his own file structure. And it came
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180 to pass that a Data Management System was selected; and the
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181 Chief Programmer saw that it was good. And there was a Payday
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182 and the Happy Hour, a second month.
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183 And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the System be divided
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184 into parts, and let each part be called a 'Module.' And let
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185 programming teams be formed and let each be assigned to write
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186 a Module." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer created the
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187 programming teams with two levels, a greater and a lesser; and
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188 he called the greater the "Senior Programmers," and he called
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189 the lesser the "Junior Programmers." And he gave the greater
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190 dominion over the lesser. And the Chief Programmer saw it was
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191 good. And the Junior Programmers saw it differently. And there
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192 was a payday and the Happy Hour, a third month.
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193 And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the programming be started
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194 and let much overtime be consumed, for there is but two months
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195 left." And the Programmers, both the Senior and the Junior, were
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196 much afraid, and the strove to please the Chief Programmer. And
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197 they flowcharted, and they coded, each in his own fashion. And
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198 the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be a Standard;" and there
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199 was a Standard. And the Programmers looked upon the Standard
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200 and liked it not. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a
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201 fourth month.
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202 And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be Progress
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203 Reports, so we can monitor and control;" and there were Progress
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204 Reports. And the Chief Programmer looked upon the Progress
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205 Reports and saw that the Due Date was not to be met. And the
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206 Chief Programmer arose, pressed his suit, shaved his beard,
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207 and went unto the Project Manager, and groveled. And the
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208 Chief Programmer pointed his fingers, and caused blame to issue
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209 forth upon all manner of creatures who sold Hardware and Software.
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210 And the Chief Programmer asked for an Extension.
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211 And the Project Manager was exceedingly angry, and cast
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212 doubts upon the Chief Programmers ancestry; and uttered a
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213 multitude of threats. But it came to pass that an extention
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214 was granted; and the Chief Programmer took the Extention
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215 back to the programming teams, and there was much rejoicing.
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216 And the programming of the modules was completed. And there was
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217 a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fifth month.
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218 And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the modules be integrated
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219 one with another, so that System Testing may begin." And it was so.
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220 700
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221 great difficulties were experienced, and many hours of overtime
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222 were used, and many cups of coffee were consumed. And it came to
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223 pass that System Testing was completed. And there was a Payday
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224 and the Happy Hour, a sixth month.
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225 Then the Chief Programmer did go to the Project Manager and
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226 said unto him, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of a great joy
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227 which will come to all the Users; for on this day The System is
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228 completed." And suddenly there was with them a multitude of
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229 Users praising the Chief Programer and saying, "Glory be to
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230 The System in the highest, but can you make this one small change"?
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231
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232 ************************************************************
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233 *******************************
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234 ACME DESTRUCTION COMPANY
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||
235 1510 FIRE SIDE CATHEDRAL
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||
236 SECTOR 5,54.7, MARS
|
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237
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||
238 Dear Sirs,Madams,dogs, and other beasties,
|
||
239 I recently hired your services to get rid of a very large
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||
240 problem, my Mother-In-Law ! Your robots were to come Mars
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||
241 and remove her quietly from my house! They found her
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242 in the shower, and her screems as they dragged her out
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243 shattered all the computer screens on the block !
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244 Your robots markmenship is as about as well as their timing
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245 they proceeded to shoot up my entire house as she ran down the bleam !
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246 Not only did they destroy my house but they destroyed an entire
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247 cathedral !!
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||
248 Then after they destroyed the cathedral they had the nerve to
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249 come back and give me a BILL !!
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250
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251 So I am here-by cancaling your offer to clean my house
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||
252 for three reasons:
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253 1) You might think I like your services.
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254 2) Your robot are incompendent !
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255 3) I have no house left to clean
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256
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257 Love,
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258 Ivan Ervening P. Veebalsweatcer
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259 P.S. You will here from my lawyers.
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260
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261 9072/am
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262 *******************************
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263 THIS MASSAGE IS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE USEING ADM3'S
|
||
264 =ABHI=JAT=H==J=JJ=KBH=KB=LCE=MDR=NEE=PD=T1 * THE ALMIGHTY SYSOP *
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265 *******************************
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266 *******************************
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267 VOLUME II-35 November 23, 1981
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268
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269 MISCELLANEOUS
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270 -------------
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271
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272 The following article from Technical Services Bulletin, dated
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273 2-17-70, is included for your information:
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274
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275 TECHNICAL SERVICES EDUCATION CENTERS
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||
276 *******************************
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277
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278 INTRODUCTION
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279 ------------
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280
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281 In technical field work it is often desirable, if not necessary,
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282 to distinguish between right and left which, to some field per-
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283 sonnel, may present a problem (that's you Dingy!). Examples are:
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284 components being located on the right or left, controls having
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285 to be moved to the right or left, etc. Persons having difficulties
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286 in this regard are occasionally admonished to have reference to
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287 their right or left hand, respectively; this, however, tends to be
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288 of little use if the particular person has difficulty in
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289 identification of his right and left hand.
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290
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291 PURPOSE
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292 -------
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293
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294 The purpose of the application note is to aid field personnel in
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295 the correct identification of the right and left hand, with the
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296 highest probability of success and with considerable ease. Having
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297 accomplished such identification, the person will be able, by
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298 straight analogy, to transfer the directional characterization
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299 to the item(s) in question.
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300
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301 PROCEDURE
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302 ---------
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303
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304 Identification of the right and left hand may be accomplished by
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305 following the procedure given here, in the indicated sequence:
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306
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307 1. With arms parallel, or nearly parallel, place both hands
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308 upon the surface of a table, workbench, or other flat,
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309 horizantal furniture or equipment surface.
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310
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311 NOTE: It is assumed that the person in question has two hands,
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312 which is generally the case. In situations other than the
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313 one assumed, the procedure given here is not applicable.
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314
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315 2. Note whether the two thumbs are the two similar digits of
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316 the respective hands that are in closest relative proximity
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317 If this is the case, step 3 may be omitted.
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318
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319 3. Counter-rotate the two hands in such a manner as to accom-
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320 plish the criterion of step 2.
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321
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322 WARNING: Neither hand should be rotated more than 180 degrees.
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323 Should this appear required, rotation in the opposite
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324 direction is indicated, instead, to prevent possible
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325 injury.
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326
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327 4. Observe the relative position of each thumb with respect
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328 to its corresponding hand.
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329
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330 5. With a suitable marker, mark the hand that has the thumb
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331 on the right with a letter "R" and the hand that has the
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332 thumb on the left with the letter "L".
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333
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334 CONCLUSION
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335 ----------
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336
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337 The hand bearing the "L" mark will be the right hand, and
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338 The hand bearing the "R" mark will be the left hand.
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339
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||
340 ***************** EnTeReD bY tHe OnE aNd OnLy TrUe ShIfTy! ***********
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||
341 *******************************
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||
342 A tale of woe (or Life as a Computer Widower)
|
||
343 Boy I thought I was smart. I should have been happy when my wife
|
||
344 just thought that a computer system was one of the following:
|
||
345 a. An infinite sink of money for hubby to throw dollars down.
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||
346 b. Something that the bank used to screw up your charge accounts.
|
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347 c. A large blue box with IBM on it that spits out payroll.
|
||
348 That was before I thought I would be really smart!
|
||
349 I was stupid enough to suggest that the future wasn't really in her present
|
||
350 line of work. (She readily agreed with that.) I said innocently that it
|
||
351 wouldn't hurt to try an introductory computer programming class at the
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352 nearby community college.
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||
353 That was last summer... Now she is learning COBOL (arghh!). She
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||
354 gets up at 7AM on Saturdays so she will be ready to edit her latest opus
|
||
355 using MY crt and MY modem via MY computer. Then she races down with her
|
||
356 JCL cards to "COMPUTERLAND", as she calls it, to submit her job. The next
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357 time I see her is after the 6:30 PM run. Assuming she doesn't find that
|
||
358 all of the on-line editing terminal are used up by her classmates, that is.
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359 That being the situation, she reappears here at home and tells me to get
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360 away from HER crt and HER modem so she can edit her errors.
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||
361 I have forgotten what a home-cooked meal is. I have likewise had
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||
362 a hard time getting used to the absence of a warm bod in bed beside me
|
||
363 at night because she is drawing Warnier-Orr diagrams down in the
|
||
364 kitchen until about 1 AM.
|
||
365 Of course the biggest injury is to my access to MY toy. How can you
|
||
366 develop the ultimate FORTRAN number-crunching whizzer when someone keeps
|
||
367 coming in and screaming with her hands above her head that she only has
|
||
368 23 minutes until the next batch is run and her data file has to be
|
||
369 appropriately stuffed with errors to test her trash sifting procedure.
|
||
370 I guess I have to look at the bright side. Now maybe I can get
|
||
371 a multiuser OS with a hard disk, another crt, and a nice wide carriage
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372 speedy printer to go with it. I suppose I'll need another modem,
|
||
373 complete with another Ma Bell line, to get rid of that logjam, too.
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374 With all that, she just might make enough cash at the programming job
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375 she may someday get to pay for all that jive!!!
|
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376 signed,
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377 Analog Alan
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||
378 *******************************
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||
379 *************************************************************************
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||
380 In the interest of maintaining the highest possible computing capabilities,
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||
381 it has been found that the current computers are unseriously lacking in
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382 thier command structure to handle the latest abilities of the hardware that
|
||
383 surrounds it. To correct this problem, the following commands are
|
||
384 recommended for implimentation in the next generation of computers.
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||
385
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||
386 GCH [GlitCH] Irrevocably locks the computer into an endless loop which
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||
387 cannot be remedied except by shutting the system power down.
|
||
388 (Note: Motoral had a simular instruction in the 6800
|
||
389 HCF [Halt and Catch Fire] but for some unknown
|
||
390 reason forgot and left it out of the later 6809.)
|
||
391
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||
392 WNM [Wrong NuMber] For use strictly with telecommunications, this
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||
393 instruction will play one of the following pre-recorded
|
||
394 messages over the phone line.
|
||
395 1) "I'm sorry, we are unable to complete your call as dialed..."
|
||
396 2) "The number you have reached has been disconnected..."
|
||
397 3) "HELLO? HELLO? HELLO?"
|
||
398
|
||
399 LBK [LooK Busy] This instruction randomly blinks the screen, sounds the
|
||
400 buzzer, and whirrs the disk drive in such a way that it
|
||
401 is guaranteed to impress anyone who knows nothing about
|
||
402 computers.
|
||
403
|
||
404 FRY [FRY] Electronically and silently reroutes the house current
|
||
405 to the desired chip or I/O device.
|
||
406 (Note: This can be used to impliment the human engineering
|
||
407 philosophy. In addition to flashing the screen red
|
||
408 and sounding an obnoxious buzzer when incorrect data
|
||
409 is keyed, try sending 110 volts through the keyboard.
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||
410 This is the same technique used in laboratories to
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||
411 condition rats.)
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||
412
|
||
413 ZAP [ZAP] This instruction moves a large magnet situated in the
|
||
414 back of the disk drive up to the disk effectively
|
||
415 erasing all of the data.
|
||
416
|
||
417 OPP [OPPs] Randomly inverts several bits in the accumulator.
|
||
418
|
||
419 IMS [I'M Sorry] Reinverts 'almost' all of the bits inverted by the
|
||
420 OPP instruction.
|
||
421
|
||
422 VDW [VoiD Warranty] Inflicts physical damage to the CPU, voiding the
|
||
423 warranty.
|
||
424
|
||
425 ??? [amnesia] Makes your computer think it is a 1930 Packard.
|
||
426
|
||
427 NSE [No Speaka English] Effectively garbles all I/O.
|
||
428
|
||
429 *************************************************************************
|
||
430 * Brought to you thru the nonunnicenessness [Real SIC!] of * Bizzaro #1 *
|
||
431 *************************************************************************
|
||
432 *******************************
|
||
433 TO: ALL FM: ME SUBJ: PR -
|
||
434 TRY IT YOU'LL LIKE IT!
|
||
435 *******************************
|
||
436 SHAWS PRINCIPLE-- Build a system that even a fool can use and
|
||
437 only a fool will want to use it!!
|
||
438 *******************************
|
||
439 What goes on here, anyhow? Anybody know anything about
|
||
440 the RCP/M system? I can't figger it out.
|
||
441 *******************************
|
||
442 On a clear disk you can seek forever.
|
||
443 *******************************
|
||
444 WEATHER FORECAST:
|
||
445 THE PRECIPITATION IN PORTUGUAL PELTS PRIMARILY
|
||
446 ON THE PLATEAU.
|
||
447 *******************************
|
||
448 TO: ANYONE WHO CARES
|
||
449 FM: ALMIGHTY SYSOP
|
||
450 RE: THE BELLS ARE RINGING (FOR ME AND MY GAL?)
|
||
451
|
||
452 ARISE OH PROTECTOR OF THE SYSTEM. YEAH VERILY I SAY UNTO
|
||
453 YOU "REMOVE THIS CURSE FROM THE SYSTEM!" [GEE, I DIDN'T EVEN
|
||
454 KNOW IT HAD V.D.!] (SHUT UP YOU JERK I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT!)
|
||
455 FROM THE HIGHEST CODE LEVEL I COMMAND YOU, EXICUTE
|
||
456 FOR ME THIS VERY DAY THAT OF WHICH I BESEACH YOU!
|
||
457 (NOT ME YOU IDIOT!)
|
||
458 GO TO THE LAND OF DISK AND THERE BY REMOVE FROM THAT
|
||
459 AREA THAT WHICH IS UNQUIET. LET THERE BE SILENCE THRUOUT
|
||
460 THE DISK! REMOVE THEREOF ALL THAT IS UNGOOD. DO NOT SPARE
|
||
461 THE WEAK AND FALTERING CODE OR DATA WITH WHICH YOU WILL
|
||
462 DEAL. IF YOU DARE TO FIND THAT WHICH IS OF QUESTIONABLE
|
||
463 VALUE, RETURN IT TO ME (THANK YOU) FORTHWITH (WITHOUT FIFTH?)
|
||
464 SO THAT I MAY DETERMIN ITS FATE. (YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK
|
||
465 STRANGER).
|
||
466 DO NOT PAUSE IN YOUR SEARCH UNTIL THE DISK IS CLEARED
|
||
467 OF THIS DISTURBANCE. THEN MAY I AGAIN RETURN TO THE LAND OF
|
||
468 DISK FREE TO SLEEP RESTFULLY AND QUIETLY BUT FOR THE OCCASIONAL
|
||
469 CLICKING OF SOLINOIDS AND GENTLE SHUSHING OF STEPPERS.
|
||
470
|
||
471 YEAH THOUGH I STEP THRU THE LINES OF NOISE AND UNQUIET
|
||
472 I WILL FEAR NO BELLS. FOR I AM THE SYSOP ALMIGHTY AND I AM THE
|
||
473 POSESSOR OF THE CHANGE COMMAND!
|
||
474
|
||
475 LET US OBSERVE A SPACE OF SILENCE FOR OUR SHORTLY
|
||
476 DEPARTED BELLS.
|
||
477
|
||
478 [CHANGE BELLS TO SPACES IN ALL LINES.]
|
||
479
|
||
480 *******************************
|
||
481 AS ALL GOOD PEOPLE KNOW, THESE MASSIVE PILES OF SILICONE
|
||
482 AND COPPER ARE WHAT MAKE OUR LIVES WORTH LIVING.
|
||
483 *******************************
|
||
484
|
||
485 The forcast for tomorrow is:
|
||
486
|
||
487 Solar Flairs
|
||
488
|
||
489 followed by scattered earthquakes,
|
||
490 outbreaks of vandalism,
|
||
491 and an epidemic of chicken pox.
|
||
492 *******************************
|
||
493 FROM: B.E.M.
|
||
494 TO: WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
|
||
495
|
||
496 Our planet has been destroyed by a Supernova.
|
||
497 We will be invading two weeks from Thursday.
|
||
498 *** love ***
|
||
499 B.E.M.
|
||
500
|
||
501 (an Equal Opportunity Despoiler)
|
||
502 *******************************
|
||
503 WELL...WELL....THIS IS INDEED A GREAT BUT STRANGE SYSTEM. IS ANYONE HERE
|
||
504 WILLING TO LEAVE YOUR NAME FOR THE FILE? I WOULD BE WILLING TO FIND
|
||
505 WHO ELSE IS ON THIS IF YOU ARE? NONETHELESS...HI TO ALL OUT THERE.
|
||
506 I WILL BE INTERESTED IN HOW MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY WRITE BACK TO THIS.
|
||
507 THANKS YA ALL......RICK ANDERSON
|
||
508 *******************************
|
||
509 HEY. I SAY THE CIST OP IS A HOSER, EH. HE MUST EAT BACK
|
||
510 BACON AND BEER ALL DAY, EH. WHAT A HOSEHEAD, EH.
|
||
511 ********************
|
||
512 KOO LOO KOO KOO KOO LOO KOO KOO.
|
||
513 KOO LOO KOO KOO KOO LOO KOO KOO.
|
||
514 (THEME FROM "GREAT WHITE NORTH" ON SCTV, EH.)
|
||
515 ********************
|
||
516 FOR A TRANSCRIPTION OF THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM, SEND <money>
|
||
517 TO THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS.
|
||
518
|
||
519 BOB & DOUG MCKENZIE
|
||
520
|
||
521 EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA ZPG 013
|
||
522
|
||
523 ALLOW 6 TO 8 YEARS FOR DELIVERY, EH.
|
||
524 *******************
|
||
525 All right, I give up! What is this system used for...from the command list,
|
||
526 it seems entirly local to the given user. Can I send messages to anyone else?
|
||
527 *********
|
||
528 Obviously... since I recieved your's and you are recieving mine!!!!
|
||
529 (Both reading and <hopefully> HEARING!!!!!)
|
||
530 ****** - DINGY - ******
|
||
531 GOOD, 'DAY, EH. THIS IS BOB MCKENZIE WRITHING FROM THE
|
||
532 GREAT WHITE NORTH. TODAY'S TOPIC IS HOSED SYSTEM OPERATORS.
|
||
533
|
||
534 YOU SEE WHEN YOU GET A BAD SYSTEM LIKE THIS, EH, YOU NATURALY
|
||
535 GET A HOSED SYSTEM OPERATOR.
|
||
536
|
||
537 WELL, THAT'S ALL THE TIME I HAVE FOR TODAY, SO GOOD DAAY.
|
||
538 ************
|
||
539
|
||
540 TONITE'S TV:
|
||
541
|
||
542 8PM GREAT WHITE NORTH-
|
||
543 TOPIC: HOSERS THAT WERE GREAT
|
||
544 11PM NEWS
|
||
545 12AM GREAT WHITE NORTH CONTINUES ALL NIGHT
|
||
546 **************************************************
|
||
547 I think the Great White North garbage is about the
|
||
548 stupidest thing ever to hit TV and radio. Me.
|
||
549 **************************************************
|
||
550 **************************************************
|
||
551 What would you have it?
|
||
552 The Meaningless Black South??
|
||
553 **************************************************
|
||
554 ON
|
||
555
|
||
556 10 'HR PROPAGATION FORECAST BULLETIN NR 15 FROM ARRL HEADQUARTERS
|
||
557 40 'THE SOLAR FLUX DROPPED TO A LOW OF 158 ON APRIL 4. IT WAS BACK
|
||
558 P TO 186 ON APRIL 11. TE RISE SHOULD PEAK NEAR THE MIDDLE OF
|
||
559 THE MONTH AT A LEVEL SOMEWHAT BELOW THE 233 OF MARCH 17.
|
||
560 *********************************************************
|
||
561 WESTERMAN CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOL
|
||
562 SUMMER TERM A.I.B. CLASSES FOR 1982
|
||
563
|
||
564 SELF IMPROVEMENT HEALTH AND FITNESS
|
||
565
|
||
566 Creative Suffering Creative Tooth Decay
|
||
567 Overcoming Peace of Mind Exorcism and Acne
|
||
568 You and Your Birthmark The Joys of Hypocondria
|
||
569 Guilt Without Sex High Fiber Sex
|
||
570 The Primal Shrug Suicide and Your Health
|
||
571 Geo Gratification Through Violence Biofeedback and How to Stop It
|
||
572 Moulding Your Childs Behavior Skate Yourself to Regularity
|
||
573 Through Guilt and Fear Understanding Nudity
|
||
574 Whine Your Way to Alienation Tap Dance Your Way to
|
||
575 How to Overcome Self-Doubt Through Social Ridicule
|
||
576 Pretense and Ostentation Optional Body Functions
|
||
577
|
||
578
|
||
579 BUSINESS AND CAREER CRAFTS
|
||
580
|
||
581 Money Can Make You Rich Self Actualization Through
|
||
582 "I made $100 in Real Estate" Macrame
|
||
583 Carerr Opportunities in El Salvador Needlecraft for Junkies
|
||
584 How to Profit From Your Own Body Cuticle Crafts
|
||
585 The Underachievers' Guide to Very Gifts for the Senile
|
||
586 Small Business Opportunities Bonsai Your Pet
|
||
587 Looters' Guide to America's Cities
|
||
588
|
||
589
|
||
590 HOME ECONOMICS
|
||
591
|
||
592 How You Can Convert Your Family Room Into a Garage
|
||
593 Cultivating Viruses in Your Refigerator
|
||
594 Burglarproof Your Home With Concrete
|
||
595 Sinus Drainage at Home
|
||
596 Basic Kitchen Taxidermy
|
||
597 1001 Other Uses for Your Vacume Cleaner
|
||
598 The Repair and Maintenance of Your Virginity
|
||
599 How to Convert a Wheelchair Into a Dune Buggy
|
||
600 What to Do With Your Conversation Pit
|
||
601 Christianity, and the Art of RV Maintenance
|
||
602 *******************************************************************
|
||
603 Dear Systerator, Michaelangelini:
|
||
604 Pray tell, of what form is the telephone service (cough)
|
||
605 which serves this incorrigible data-Cuisinart? Is it
|
||
606 just a standard unlimited service residential line? Or
|
||
607 perhaps one of the bargain priced deals with a limited
|
||
608 number of outgoing calls. Not business service, I would
|
||
609 presume. Just curious if dear Mother B. wondered why you
|
||
610 had so many incoming calls with such long holding times!
|
||
611 {}{}{}{}{}{}{}{} Analog Alan {}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
|
||
612 YES INDEEDY THIS HERE ARE THE ONE AN' ONLY CISTOP MIKEY COMIN' TO YA FROM
|
||
613 BEUTIFULL DOWNTOWN WAST LAND. MOST GRACIOUS SIRS AND MADAMES THE PHONE SERVICE
|
||
614 IS IMPLIMENTED AS A STANDARD SERVICE RESIDENTIAL WITH NO OPTIONS. THE LOCAL
|
||
615 BRANCH OF THE TELEPHONE COMPANY WHICH SERVES IN THIS LOCALITY IS ADDITIONALLY
|
||
616 AWARE OF THE COMMUNICATIONS ASPECT OF THE SYSTEM VIA THE REGISTRATION NUMBER.
|
||
617 A NOVATION PHONE LINE INTERFACE MODULE (PLI FOR SHORT) HAS BEEN INSTALLED IN
|
||
618 THE LINE TO KEEP THINGS ON THE UP AND UP AND THE PROVIDER HAS BEEN NOTIFIED
|
||
619 OF THE REGISTRATION NUMBERS AS WELL. FCC REG # AU492X-69442-DP-E RINGER 0.8B
|
||
620 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
621 Hey Mikey, when I installed my line at home I asked the lady at
|
||
622 Ma Bell who to give the FCC reg number to. She told me not
|
||
623 to bother with it. As long as there is no problem with the
|
||
624 line no one will be any the wiser. If there is a problem
|
||
625 detected she said to just give them the number when they call.
|
||
626 Of course she said she would deny ever saying that but she
|
||
627 said it to save me (and them) the trouble of doing the paper
|
||
628 work.
|
||
629 *************************** Lyle *****************************************
|
||
|
||
|