textfiles/messages/ALANWESTON/1994/OCEAN12_03.txt

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Public Message
Message # 1197 *MM1 TECH Echo*
To : All
From : Warren Hrach
Subject : pentium facts !
Date : 94/12/02 16:29:26
Followin is a post from the cocolist
------------------- cut here ----------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 2 Dec 1994 12:58:40 PST
Reply-To: Chris Burke <burke@MDD.COMM.MOT.COM>
Sender: COCO - Tandy Color Computer List <COCO@pucc.Princeton.EDU>
From: Chris Burke <burke@MDD.COMM.MOT.COM>
Subject: Pentium jokes...
X-To: COCO@PUCC.PRINCETON.EDU
To: Multiple recipients of list COCO <COCO@pucc.Princeton.EDU>
A Canadian colleague of mine sent me this humor piece today...
From: Scholefield-CCS005 Chris on Fri, Dec 2, 1994 12:03 PM
Subject: FW: Pentium jokes...
To: WDG Socialine-BRC9; WDG Socialine-WA16
I thought some of you might appreciate this to brighten up your weekend ...
---------- Forwarded message ----------
For those out of the loop, errors have been identified in the FDIV
(floating point divide) command of Intel's Pentium chip. Apparently
Intel has known about this for some time and chose to keep it quiet
while they designed new chips. Intel has not announced any plans to
replace the bad chips already distributed, and has instead released a
press release saying that the problem shouldn't bother most people.
- ----------------
Newsgroups: comp.sys.intel
From: dmethvin@aol.com (DMethvin)
Subject: Pentium Bug Humor :-)
Date: 29 Nov 1994 09:15:27 -0500
Message-ID: <3bfd1v$g8g@newsbf01.news.aol.com>
Q&A: THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
Pentiums?
A: Warning label.
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.
Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply
is to
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
585.999983605.
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards
754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft
designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of
"IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!
TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 It's Close Enough, We Say So
7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 Redefining the PC--and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 The Errata Inside
- ----------
From: achun@mail2.sas.upenn.edu (Alex Chun)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.intel
Subject: THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY A PENTIUM MACHINE :-)
Date: 29 Nov 1994 05:25:54 GMT
Message-ID: <3bee12$mu0@netnews.upenn.edu>
THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY A PENTIUM MACHINE
============================================
10. YOUR CURRENT COMPUTER IS TOO ACCURATE
9. YOU WANT TO GET INTO THE GUINNESS BOOK AS
"OWNER OF MOST EXPENSIVE PAPERWEIGHT"
8. MATH ERRORS ADD ZEST TO LIFE
7. YOU NEED AN ALIBI FOR THE I.R.S.
6. YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT
5. YOU'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE
LIKE TO BE A PLAINTIFF
4. THE "INTEL INSIDE" LOGO MATCHES YOUR DECOR PERFECTLY
3. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CPU OVERHEATING
2. YOU GOT A GREAT DEAL FROM JPL
And the #1 reason to buy a Pentium machine:
1. IT'LL PROBABLY WORK
----- End Included Message -----
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