263 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
263 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
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The Young Ones: (ALL THE LITTLE FLOWERS ARE) HAPPY
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by Elton/Mayall/Mayer/Edmonson/Planer/Ryan/Curtis/Colman/Tibble/C.Relief
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Produced by Stuart Colman
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Published by Copyright Control
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A Rockmasters Production
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Transcribed by Greg O'Beirne (gobeirne@tartarus.uwa.edu.au)
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[?] = Sound Effects
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{?} = Other related things... (laughs, chuckles, music, silence etc..)
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{15 SECONDS OF SCREAMING GUITAR PUNK MUSIC. VERY VERY LOUD!}
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[FX: CRASH, GLASS BREAKING, MUSIC CRUMBLES TO A STOP]
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MIKE: Vyvyan, Why did you just throw the band out of the window?
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VYV: Oh, sorry Mike. I was forgetting myself!
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NEIL: Oh wow! Yeah, Yeah I do that all the time. Like, sometimes
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I wake up in the morning and think, like, "What's that inside
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my trousers?", and then, like, about half an hour later I
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remember it's me... Neil.
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[FX: THUMP]
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MIKE: Now that's a very interesting sound effect Vyv! Now, go on,
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do it again!
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VYV: Well, I would Michael, but unfortunately Neil's only got one
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head.
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[FX: DOOR OPENING]
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RICK: {laugh} Good Morning everybody! Let's make Rock & Roll history!
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VYV: Oh no, he's found us...
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RICK: {laugh} Hey! Great gag about telling me the recording studio
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was in Wales! {laughs again}
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MIKE: O.K. guys! Now get out your instruments. And I don't mean...
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RICK: Uh! Uh! Uh! Michael! Remember, we promised Cliff we wouldn't be
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rude!
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MIKE: It's time to record the flip side.
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RICK: Yes {laugh} And if we don't hurry up, it really will be a flip
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side! Because I probably say something crazy like: "Blummin'
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flip, let's get on with it!".
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MIKE: Neil! Where's your guitar?
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NEIL: Oh great! uh, Pop Quiz. Right, um, hang on, hang on, I know
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this... aaaahhhhhhhh, ohhh, it's on the tip of my tongue...
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VYV: Wwwwwwwellllllll, What a stupid place to keep your guitar!
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RICK: Oh blummin' flip, Vyvyan, let's get on with it!
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MIKE: We ARE getting on with it, Rick!
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RICK: Well just about make sure you blinkin' well blummin' well DO
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matey flip, because one thing's for death: When this kid's
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in the studio, it's get down jive time all the way to number
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one, so...
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[FX: SAXOPHONE]
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Ha ha! Ha ha! UUUmph!
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{saxophone is shoved down his throat}
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MIKE: Vyvyan, We were gonna use that saxophone!
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VYV: Well, I just did, didn't I Michael?
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[FX: RICK COUGHING UP SAXOPHONE, LOW TO HIGH PORTAMENTO]
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RICK: Oh! What a great tasting saxophone, Vyvyan!
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VYV: Well, if you think that's great, get a taste of this!
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NEIL: Oh good, you found my guitar Vyv!
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[FX: GUITAR IS SMASHED, PRESUMABLY ON RICK'S HEAD]
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NEIL: Oh no, guys, guys! Look, I thought pop music was supposed
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to be about, like, loving each other...
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MIKE: No, Neil, no, that's sex. Pop music is about making money.
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Now go next door and pinch Simon LeBon's guitar.
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NEIL: Oh alright...uh, Mr LeBum! Mr LeBum!
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{he walks off}
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[FX: DOOR CLOSES]
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RICK: Great! We got rid of the hippy! Brilliant! More singing
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for me! Right! {sings} Get down! & Get WIIIIIIITH it!
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One, aTwo, aThree...
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VYV: Do you want to hear my new joke??
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RICK: N-o. aOne, aTwo, aOneTw...
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VYV: Look, Rick. Do...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK]
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You...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK]
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Want...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK]
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To...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK]
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Hear...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK]
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My...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK]
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New...
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK, RICK CRYING]
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JOKE!!!!
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[FX: VYV PUNCHING RICK, RICK SOBBING LIKE A TOTAL AND UTTER GIRLY]
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RICK: ...ah huh huh, Do you know what? I do now Vyvyan.
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VYV: Alright! Get ready to laugh 'coz here it comes!
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[FX: VYV MUNCHING AWAY ON SOMETHING]
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RICK: Vyvyan, eating a pair of trousers is NOT funny. Especially
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when they're my dungarees.
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VYV: Well, do you want them back then? {starts to throw up}
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RICK: Oh No! No! No!
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[FX: DOOR OPENS]
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NEIL: I'm Back!
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OTHERS: Phew! What a wiff!
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NEIL: Rick, why haven't you got any trousers on??
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RICK: Because Vyvyan's turned into a comedian, Neil.
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{laugh} Um, Actually, {laughs again} that's a point Neil.
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Why don't you ask Vyvyan to tell you his great new joke.
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NEIL: Oh, alright. Uh, Vyvyan, why don't you tell me your great
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new joke?
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VYV: O.K. Neil. Get ready to laugh, here it comes!
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[FX: VYV MUNCHING AWAY ON SOMETHING]
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NEIL: Uh, yeah, that's really great Vyvyan!
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RICK: Vyvyan, eating my underpants is even less funny than eating
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my trousers!
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VYV: {coughing} Oh God! You're not kidding!
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RICK: {desperate} Oh god, Neil, Give me your trousers!
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NEIL: No! Get off, get off, these are my trousers & I'm sticking
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to them!
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RICK: TAKE OFF YOUR TROUSERS!!!
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NEIL: No, no I can't. Vyvyan put superglue in them.
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VYV: That was three years ago Neil!
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NEIL: Well how often do you change YOUR trousers.
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MIKE: Don't worry Neil, it isn't a problem. Taking trousers off is
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very easy.
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RICK: {laugh} Yes it is, except that I'm more used to taking off DRESSES!
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VYV: What, you wear alot of dresses then do you Rick?
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RICK: Yes I do. I... NO! That's not what I meant Vyvyan and you know it!
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All I'm saying is that girls find me terrifically sexy, and
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they often ask me to take their dresses off.
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VYV: THAT IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE!!
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RICK: It is not!! Alright then, look at my love bite.
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VYV: That isn't a love bite! That's your bottom!
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RICK: Alright then, what's it doing on my face??
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NEIL: {muffled} No that's not YOUR face, what's it doing on MY face??
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MIKE: Now come on guys! We're running out of time. Let's get on with the
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important business, shall we??
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VYV: You're right, Michael. Neil's trousers must be removed, and NOW!
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[FX: RIPPING]
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NEIL: No, ow, wo, ow! OH NO! What are those two horrible pale
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hairy things?
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MIKE: Those are your legs, Neil. Now look, are we gonna sing this
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song or not?
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VYV: Yes we are. But first.... LET'S HAVE A FIGHT!!
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OTHERS: Yes, Oh wow!, Great idea, etc...
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[FX: MULTITUDINOUS PUNCHES BEING THROWN]
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VYV: Umph, oh, take that etc...
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NEIL: oh, touche, take that, OW!
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RICK: etc...
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MIKE: etc...
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{Pause... Vyvyan panting... }
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RICK: Right!
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[FX: MULTITUDINOUS PUNCHES BEING THROWN]
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NEIL: Ooof, Bam, Ow, Oooh...
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RICK: Oooh, Oh dear, Oh God, look at the mess!
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VYV: etc...
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MIKE: etc...
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{Punches stop}
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VYV: Well, That was great. Now, Let's do the song. Here I go!
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{12 SECONDS OF GUITAR INTRO}
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ALL: {singing to quiet electric guitar accompaniment}
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All the little flowers are singing
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All the little birdies are too {VYV: tweet tweet tweet}
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Everything in the garden is happy,
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And we hope you are too {VYV: o-oo o-oo}
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If you're happy we're happy {VYV: laughs}
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If you're sad we're sad {VYV & RICK: Boo hoo}
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But now it's time to end this song,
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'coz it's so fucking bad!
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RICK: Goodnight children...
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MIKE: Goodnight.
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NEIL: Hello, um, goodnight.
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VYV: Pass the detonator...
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[FX: HUGE EARTH SHATTERING EXPLOSION]
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The End.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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,-_|\ Greg O'Beirne \\ EMail - gobeirne@tartarus.uwa.edu.au
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/ \ University of // and.. - zaphod@ucc.gu.uwa.edu.au
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*_,-._/ Western Australia \\ Phone - (+61 9) 4342787
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v // "Bloody Vikings!!..."
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_________________________________\\___________________________________________
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