309 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
309 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Û ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û Û ÜÜÜÜÛ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹
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º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0080 º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º Date Released : [08/16/92] Author: Phreak_Accident º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º Creative Suicide Techniques. º
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ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ
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Welcome to another fine issue of VaS magazine. When Studmuffin and
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myself initially began the concept of this group, we had no idea that
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it would receive the amount of attention that it gets. We did not set
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high expectations, we thought we would simply blend in with the other
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text file groups in this dull gray computer world. I am truly pleased
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that you, the readers, have proved our theory wrong.
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I am also sorry to make this announcement, but I feel it must be done.
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As of now, I am officially retiring from VaS. Although I still believe
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in what the group stands for, I cannot find the time to continue writing
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for their cause. This will be my farewell issue, and I hope that the
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group will continue without me. I have been using computers for quite
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some time now, and I feel that I have accomplished everything I wanted on
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the computer. I have explored almost every aspect of the computer world,
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and I think it is a very interesting place to visit, but I wouldn't want
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to live there. In other words, I do not want computers to be a major
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part of my life, I do not want to have a computer related job. Computers
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are great tools, that can be used for many useful purposes, but they
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cannot replace friends and relationships with other humans. Bulletin
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board systems do a fairly decent job of providing the user with a friendly
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atmosphere, but it's just not the same. I am not trying to get everyone
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to quit using their computers, I would just like to let you know there are
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many other things that you can do. You should not let computers dominate
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your life, as they will eventually make you a boring person. Enough of
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this serious nonsense, I just wanted to make certain things clear. Now,
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VaS will continue to lead you boldly into the future, providing you with
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a new perspective, which you may or may not agree upon.
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Creative Suicide Methods
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If you feel that you are truly a loser, and you want to commit
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suicide, you should first consult another person. If they too
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agree that you are a worthless piece of shit, then you should
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carry your action out. I am providing you with creative and
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effective methods of suicide. I cannot be held responsible
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by some fucking idiot's parents who reads this after their
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son or daughter killed themselves. This is for informational
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purposes only, as I might feel a bit guilty if someone actually
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took their life because of a text file. Remember this, you cannot
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always believe what you read.
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Shoot Yerself in the hed. I know this sounds extremely archaic, but
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it is a very effective method. Make sure you kill yourself tho, as
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the injury that would be sustained from a point blank gunshot would
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not be very pleasant to live with. Try to use a gun of high caliber,
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as to insure a quick and painless death.
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Jump off a building. This technique is particularly useful if a
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potential suicide attempting person wants to attract a lot of
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attention. Just make sure that before you get up on the building
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that you will have enough balls to actually jump. The police may
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try to set up an inflatable balloon to catch you, make sure you
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avoid it. Jump to the far left or right, and try to land on a
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nice car like a BMW or a Mercedes. You should end up on the front
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page and make the 6 o' clock news. Good luck, and happy jumping.
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Overdose on drugs. Take tons of acid, and fucken trip out for like
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24 hours, then your body cannot interpet the sensory overload, and
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your brain shuts down. Sounds like fun, eh?
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Make someone else kill you. Do something totally stupid like walk
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around downtown Detroit at night and yell, I am a representative of
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the KKK, and I think all you dumb leg humping jerry curl kfc eatin'
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niggers are too fucking stupid to come out here and fight me!
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If that doesn't get you killed, I don't know what will.
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Strap yourself to the front of an MX missle. Simple, but effective.
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Try to shoot Saddam Hussein in the head. If you get shot in the
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process, at least you had fun. And if you succeed, you may be a
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national hero, and you probably wouldn't want to kill yourself
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anymore.
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Jump out of a plane without a parachute.
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If you have a chance to see President Bush on his campaign trail,
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go to Childrens Palace, buy a toy gun, and during his speech, make
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your way to the front, and rush the stage. I am sure you will have
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3 or 4 suits opening fire upon you.
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Tie yourself to a railroad track. Why? For the hell of it. Maybe
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you could get the train to derail, and take down hundreds with you.
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Have sex with Oprah Winfrey, and make sure she's on top. Or Roseanne
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Barr for that matter. Either one of those cellulite infested sperm
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whores would kill you with their sheer weight. Yuch!
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Try listening to Barry Manilow records for more than 15 minutes.
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I guarantee you will try to kill yourself, no human being should
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be subject to such torture. WHY do people like him? WHY? FUCK,
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what a waste of FUCKING TIME! I'd rather cut my head off and
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pour bleach down my neck then listen to FLAMING BARRY.
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If you want your family to benefit from your death, go to an
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extremely expensive restarunt, not KFC, the negro hangout. During
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the main course, put a cyanide capsule in the food. It will kill
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you, and your family will suspect the chef as a murderer. Ha.
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Jump into a nuclear reactor core. The radiation should provide you
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with one helly death. Or, you could move to Cherynobl to live in
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a radiation infested environment, and see how long you last before
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you die of cancer.
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You could stick your head in a jet engine, although it might be a
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bit messy on the exhaust side, and also a bit loud. The flight would
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probably end being cancelled as well.
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You could use a jack-hammer to open up your chest.
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Fuck a girl with HIV and see if you can catch it. If not, try, try
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and try again.
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Cut your dick off, and slit your neck and wrists, and bleed to death.
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Eat yourself. First, start with your fingers, cut them off, and cook
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them up. Then your arms. Then your legs, etc. See how much you can
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eat of yourself before you die.
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Try to cross the Sahara desert without any water or food. No supplies
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whatsoever.
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Try swimming to Japan from California, or from the East Coast to Europe.
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Try swallowing razor blades until one cuts your trachea.
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Stick a long needle through your head, and see if you can retain
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conciousness.
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Pull out your eyes, and try to cross a major highway. Kudos to you
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if you succeed.
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Try to go more than 3 days without pussy, and see how long you last
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after that.
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Go to prison, and start a fight with a big black nigger named Bruce
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who wants you to be his 'bitch'.
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Slam your head against a table as hard as you can, as many times as
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you can.
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See if you can completely sever your head from your body with a chain
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saw before you pass out.
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Go bungee jumping, without the cord! It's the newest rage
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Strap a 10 megaton bomb to your head, and count to ten...
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Throw yourself in front of a fast moving automobile. Lets see if
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those 'anti-lock brakes' REALLY work...
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Hang yourself from your ceiling with speaker wire.
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See how much of a 12 foot pole you can stick up your ass.
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Drive into a brick wall at over 100 miles per hour. Test out that
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air bag, or none if you have a cheap piece of shit car.
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See how long you can hold your breath underwater, while wearing
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concrete shoes.
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Hit yourself in the head with a baseball bat until you crack your
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skull open.
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Cut the top of your skull open, and try to remove your brain.
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Stick long needles into your spine until you hit vital nerves. A
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note of caution, be sure not to paralyze yourself.
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Climb a telephone pole, strip the insulation off the cable, and touch
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two wires together.
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Try to rob the police station.
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Get a tank full of sea water, about 2000 gallons, and put a shark
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in it. Then, get some raw meat, cover yourself in blood, and jump
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in.
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See if you can catch a bullet in your teeth. I heard it CAN be done.
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Enter as the javelin catcher in the '96 Olympics.
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Fall down 30 flights of stairs.
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Run across the U.S. Candian border wielding a semi-automatic rifle
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and a bag of white powder.
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Drink a bottle of Drano or The Works. See how your digestive system
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reacts with the hydrochloric acid.
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Close your garage door, turn your car on, and breathe deeply.
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Try living with Ketan Badani. I guarantee you will kill yourself
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within 48 hours. NO ONE can live with a fat smelly spearchucker.
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Try to steal Bill Lang's car audio system. He will try to kill you
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if he catches you.
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Stand under a steamroller.
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Put a stick of dynamite in your mouth, and light it.
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See how long you can live off your own feces before you die.
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Go hunting for alligators, with your bare hands.
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Ah, I see you have reached the end of this file which also marks the end
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of my textfile writing career. Yeah, i'm all broken up about it too.
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Well, anyways, I hope VaS will continue to prosper, and I hope that you
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have one hell of a day.
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Yours truly,
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Phreak_Accident
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ÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍ[ VaS DiSTRiBuTioN SiTeS ]ÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄ
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ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º BBS Name Number Baud Sysop Title º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º LiVe WiRE BBS (313)464-1470 14.4 Studmuffin World HQ º
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º Floating Pancreas (305)551-0311 14.4 Majestic Cockster Dist. #1 º
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º Midian BBS (703)790-8048 14.4 The Raging Golemn Dist. #2 º
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º CHaoTiC BeHaVioR (717)652-7096 16.8 Chaos Dist. #3 º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º VaS Voice Mail Box ... (313) 910-3030 ... Toll Free In Michigan! º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º Studmuffin can be reached via internet at the address: dmitchel@ais.org º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º And To Reach us Via U.S. Mail, Send Letters To: º
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º VaS World Headquarters º
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º P.O. Box 530768 º
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º Livonia,MI 48153 º
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ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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