208 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
208 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Û ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û Û ÜÜÜÜÛ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹
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º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0036 º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º Date Released : [06/30/92] Author: Jeffery Dahlmer º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º The Cannibal's Cookbook. º
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ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ
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Finally, we have it...The long awaited Cannibal's Cookbook that we
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have been promising since ohh.. Issue #3 or so.
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Recently we have been getting lots of comments on how sick we are. So
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tell ya what, Call Live Wire BBS or PoT (see #'s at the end of the tfile) and
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send e-mail to studmuffin on PoT or the sysop on Live wire and we will make
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a VaS issue dedicated entirely to your comments. You seem to think we are
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sick, depraved, even stoned. We do appreceate your feedback/suggestions.
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If you wish to get in touch with us, but don't wish to call LD,
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Studmuffin can be found on CelerityNet, TCSNet, FelonyNet, and a few other
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smaller ones.
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Anyhow on with the recipes! Have fun!
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PREFIX
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======
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Before you go about trying to cook people, you should know the basic
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steps to cleaning and preparing a human body for consumption. Unlike the
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chicken, Human skin does not taste very good, So for most recipes you will
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want to to remove this. One method is to place the body in a bathtub full of
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ice cold water for about a week. This will loosen up the skin enough to
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the point where you can peel it off like an orange, and it will keep the body
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from rotting. Another method is to boil it off. Be careful doing this, I
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would not reccomend it as the bodily organs may expand as the body fluids
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boil and the corpse may explode.
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Bones are another problem. The spine can be particularly tricky to
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remove if you want to get those tasty back mussles. The most effective way
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to remove this nuissance is to cut off the head (This is one of the least
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useful parts of the body - to be explained later), and pull the spine up
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through the neck. You will have the problem of the ribs getting in the way,
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So you may want to make a deep incision going from the top of the throat
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down to the abdomen right in the middle of the front of the body, and a
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horizontal cut at the abdomen where the other cut left off to avoid damage
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to any other parts of the body. Save the lungs, heart, liver, spleen,
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pancreas, etc... these will all be used.
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The useless parts of the body will be your feet, as they are mostly
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tendons, bones, ligaments, and the like, so they won't be very tasty. Next
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is the hands. They are a little bit meatier, good for apetizers (I do have
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a recipe using the fingers and toes so you may want to save them!). The head
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is basically useless, A human brain is not a tasty thing, trust me, I know.
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Its kind of like eating rotten calliflour <SP?> that is all gray and dingy
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and nasty smelling. Of course if it is a guy you probably wont want to eat
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the dick after all the stuff that goes on around there, and the same with the
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anal cavities, etc. Stomach, small & large intestines are NOT good eating.
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If it is a female, the breasts are mostly fat anyways, so save the fat, it
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makes for jucier meats when you saute them with it. I wouldnt reccomend trying
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to eat the nipples either, I dont think they would taste very good.
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And I am not going to go into the methods of getting your human
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subject. I will tell you that you want someone slightly overweight, not too
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much, but with a little fat to keep the meats jucier and the skin easier to
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remove.
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Anyhow enough of the technical stuff, On to the recipes. For this
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stuff you will need a oven/stove. I wouldnt recommend using a microwave because
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human flesh has the tendency to really get dried out when you put it in the
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microwave.
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+-----------+
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| Apetizers |
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+-----------+
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Finger-Size Snacks.
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===================
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Ingredients:
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10 fingers (or 8 fingers and 2 thumbs for smartasses)
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10 toes
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1 Cup flour
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1 bowl of melted butter
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1 Cup cornmeal
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What to do:
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First of all, you want to remove the fingernails and toenails (and thumbnails
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for the smartasses again). Removing the bones is not neccessary, but a plus.
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If the fingers were cut cleanly, the bones should just slide out. Mix the
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cornmeal and the flour into one bowl (not the one with the butter in it). Now
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dip the buttered fingers and toes into the cornmeal/flour mixture. Repeat
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until all pieces are well coated. Now place the butter left over in a frying
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pan, bring it to a sizzle, then proceed to fry them until they are golden
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brown and crispy on the outside while soft and moist on the inside. Eat while
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still hot. Serves 2. (1 hand & 1 foot for each of you!).
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Chocolate Covered balls
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=======================
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Ingredients:
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2 Testicles (if its a male)
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2 Eyeballs
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1 half pound of hersheys chocolate
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4 toothpicks (or 2 if its a female)
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What to do:
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First, place the chocolate in a double boiler and melt it nice and soft and
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goey. Then dip the balls into the chocolate (stick a toothpick in it to lower
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it in and get it all covered). Now place these in the freezer to cool them
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off, and boom, you have a ready-to-eat-snack anytime. Serves 1.
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Entrail Salad
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=============
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Ingredients:
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Any leftover parts from cleaning human
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What to do:
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The human body contains a plethora of useful body parts that we cant really
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use for other recipes, yet it would be a shame to waste. For example, the
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spleen, various fat tissues, Arteries & Veins, nerves, etc. Just mix these
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up in a bowl, and then add some dressing (thousand island is good for this)
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and you are set with a healthy nutritious 100% natural snack.
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+--------------+
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| Main Courses |
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+--------------+
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Bob Roast
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=========
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Ingredients:
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1 Large thigh muscle
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1 breast (if its female - else 1 ass cheek)
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1 cup of miscelaneous body parts
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What to do:
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This is a good meal for a family of 3 or 4. You will remove the muscle on the
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thigh of the person <pretend his name was Bob so we can call it Bob roast>,
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and then the fat from the breast (or ass cheek) which you will melt in a
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seperate pan and pour over it. Place the roast in a deep covered pan, in an
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over at 400 degrees for 35-40 minutes, until brown on the outside , sauteing
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occasionally with the melted fat. After about 15-20 minutes, add the entrails
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to the bottom of the pan, and re-cover. This will help keep the meat nice and
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moist. Serve while hot. Feeds 4.
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BBQ Spare Ribs & Watermelon Pie.
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================================
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HEY YOU NIGGER STOP READING THESE VaS FILES WE HATE YOU - GO BACK TO THE
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JUNGLES OF AFRICA OR WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM.
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If you arent a nigger than read on (there is no watermelon pie though).
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Ingredients:
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1 set of human ribs
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1 jar of barbeque sauce
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What to do:
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This is an easy one to make, if you have a barbeque. It just wont work too
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well in a oven or microwave. The main problem here is gettin 2 sets of ribs.
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You will need a powerful saw, and saw the ribs off of each side, this can
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get difficult, one of those electric meat cutting knives may help. Then coat
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them with BBQ sauce before putting them on, Grill on each side for around
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5-10 minutes, until nice and brownish-red, then turn over, adding more sauce
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to the side as you turn it over to keep it juicy. Serve while hot. Feeds 2.
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+---------+
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| Deserts |
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+---------+
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Boy after all that great food you are ready for some desert eh? Well here is
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2 ideas for some good recipes for desert.
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Hot Spleen Sundae.
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=================
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Ingredients:
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1 Spleen
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1 Pint Of Ice Cream
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What To Do: The spleen holds excess blood that is really dirty and shitty, so
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its tastes really good! Simply boil the spleen in some water until it starts
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to turn a bright red, then quickly remove it <it will explode if you don't>,
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and pour it over your ice cream. Voila! Instant delight for your kids and
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relatives! Serves 2..
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Pussy
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=====
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Ingredients:
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1 Pussy
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1 pint ice cream
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1 bag cholcolate chips
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1 cup sprinkes
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What to do: You guys who tongue your girlfriend's clit think thats eating
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pussy, you are sorely mistaken. What you need to do is to remove the actual
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pussy from the corpse <if its a girl> with a sharp knife, and stuff it with
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the ice cream, chocolate chips, sprinkles, etc. Then eat the whole thing like
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a Pita bread.Yum Yum. Serves 1.
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CONCLUSION
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==========
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Well thats all the space I am allowed so until the next issue of VaS
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have phun and happy eating! Hope you enjoyed this fine piece of literature!
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Leave us comments on any of the below BBS's (But preferable PoT or Live Wire).
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ÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍ[ VaS DiSTRiBuTioN SiTeS ]ÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄ
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ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º BBS Name Number Baud Sysop Title º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º LiVe WiRE BBS (313)464-1470 14.4 Studmuffin World HQ º
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º PoT BBS (313)462-1906 24oo Phreak_Accident World HQ º
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º TcH BBS (713)373-4031 14.4 One Meg Cacher Dist. #1 º
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º Floating Pancreas (305)551-0311 14.4 Majestic Cockster Dist. #2 º
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º Phantasm III (313)884-2617 14.4 Scavenger Dist. #3 º
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ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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