107 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
107 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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[ Top 10: Why Life Is Like A Bed Of Roses ] [ By DIzzIE ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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TOP 10 REASONS WHY LIFE IS LIKE A BED OF ROSES
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by: DIzzIE 2001
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1) Lots of people are allergic to roses, leading to severe sneezing, teary
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eyes, runny noses, and in some more serious cases, prolonged exposure can
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result in death.
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2) A rose has many thorns. Hence, a bed of roses has many many thorns.
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Unlike a bed of nails, the thorns are not distributed in a pattern so
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that you will feel no pain when you lay down on it, no no: a bed of roses
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has sporadically random thorns and hence when you lie down or even try to
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pick one up, you will always get pricked, and usually start bleeding. In
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more serious cases, the initial bleeding can expose you to more severe
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deceases, and once again this may result in death or to a lesser extent,
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possible amputation of the infected area (usually being the finger(s))
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3) While the roses may look quite beautiful and even exquisite at first,
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they very soon begin to rot, loose their vibrant colors, as well as their
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intoxicating fragrance, and hence they become dried up brown looking
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pieces of shit that stink.
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4) Roses are constantly being rooted from their home (the ground), and are
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either being taken to stores and are being sold (hence they are basically
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slaves), or they are taken home, separated from the other roses, or are
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kept in small bushels, but are still separated from all the other roses
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in the original bed, and are put in a small vase, where they are usually
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kept in water, not in soil as that is their natural habitat, and because
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we are talking about a bed of roses, not a bed of water lilies (which
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roses are not of course) the lifespan of the rose is drastically
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shortened.
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5) A bed of roses has no purpose other than to serve higher beings. They
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exist, and are allowed to exist, because they produce gas(ses) that we
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need to survive. They are also pretty to look at. As soon as they loose
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those two qualities, or are replaced by more efficient ways to produce
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the two qualities, the bed of roses will quickly be annihilated.
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6) While at first glance, a bed of roses may look pretty, a closer
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examination will reveal that many roses have a wide assortment of
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diseases that make their leaves shrivel and die, and the diseases spread
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to other roses... and soon the whole bed is a Petri dish for various
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bacterial cultures.
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7) When you bend down to snort a rose, you may notice that there are ants
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crawling all over the stem and are rapidly crawling up your nose as you
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sniff. You may also notice that there are bees hiding in the roses. But
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of course, you notice that after the bees have already stung you. This
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may once again, in severe allergic occurrences, cause death.
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8) In order for the roses to be planted where they were, other, less
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attractive (but perhaps more useful) plants had to be cleared out of the
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rose bed zone and either transported to another location, or more likely,
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they were simply tossed into the trashcan or the compost heap, all to
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make room for the bourgeoisie roses.
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9) What where the aforementioned bees doing hiding in the roses in the first
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place? They were robbing the roses. Stealing the sweet nectar. Hence,
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roses are constantly being robbed of what they produce by the droid bees,
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who are, in turn, only serving the bee queen. Hence, the bee queen rules
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over all.
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10) Roses are probably the most exploited flower ever. They are constantly
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being referenced to in poems, novels, etc... They are displayed on wall
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paper, on clothing, on shower curtains, on table clothes, on furniture,
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on advertisements, etc... Never have the roses consented to this
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exploitation, nor have they ever received any retribution, neither in
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the form of monetary compensation, nor in any other form.
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email me for more of my files or to talk
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about anything: xcon0@yahoo.com
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #595 Underground eXperts United 2002 uXu #595
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The uXu FAQ - http://www.uXu.org/faq.htm
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