779 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
779 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
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########## ### ### ##########
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ##
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[ Old School Collection II ] [ By DIzzIE ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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Old School Collection II
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by DIzzIE
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this time he brings you these pieces:
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MAGIC BALLOON
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CAMPING TIPS
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CAT FUN
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GETTING RID OF THE BODY
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HERBAL SMOKES
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HITLER, THE GREAT
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HOUSE THRASHING
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FUN WITH NAILS
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SIMPLE REVENGE TECHNIQUES
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SHOCKER
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FUN WITH SMOKE BOMBS
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SODA BOMB
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HOMEMADE STINK BOMB
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WASTING THEIR TIME
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FUN AT THE BOOKSTORE
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sooooo heeeeere we go! Hold tight folks, we're going for a ride!
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MAGIC BALLOON
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Here is a nice fun activity for you to do on a boring day, any day in
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fact. What you need is one of those big plastic garbage bags. Next you
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also need access to a high place, such as a roof. Then you need to fill
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the garbage bag with as much vile liquid, or semi-liquid, as you can,
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without breaking the baggie, not yet at least. Some suggested items to
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put in the baggie are: excrement, piss, honey, soda, vinegar,
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mayonnaise, mustard, alcohol, pickle juice, boiled eggs, hot sauce, oil,
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and on... Then just close the bag, get on top of the roof, wait for a big
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crowd of well-dressed people to pass, and let your magic balloon drop.
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Email me at : xcon0@yahoo.com
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-----
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CAMPING TIPS
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Here are some tips to make your camping experience most safe and
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enjoyable:
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* Keep the tent doors and other openings closed at all times so nothing
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can get into the tent.
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* At night pack all of the food away tightly in your car or tent, so no
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animals can get to the food, leave no food in the open as it will
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attract animals and insects.
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* Tell someone where you are going camping and when to expect your
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return, so they can notify authorities if something happens to you.
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* Don't wear baggy pants. Put the tips of your pants into your socks (so
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nothing [like ticks or scorpions] can crawl under your pants and bite
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you), and wear shoes that protect and comfort your feet.
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* Keep your sleeping bags zipped during the day so nothing can crawl in.
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Before going to sleep take your sleeping bag outside and shake it a
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few times to make sure there's nothing in it.
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* Keep your shoes inside the tent at night, and in the morning turn them
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upside down and shake them to make sure there is nothing inside.
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* Make sure to bring a first aid kit with you on your trip.
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* If you don't have any mosquito repellent you can cover your face with
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the soot from the fire or/and put a plastic bag around your head and
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make opening for the eyes, nose, and mouth.
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* If you need to go to the bathroom, but there is no bathroom, do your
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business away from the campsite.
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* When hunting wear clothing that doesn't stand out but blends in with
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the background.
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* Always wear thick shirts with longs sleeves, thick long socks, and
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thick pants to avoid coming in contact with such irritable plants as
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poison ivy. When you get home wash your clothing.
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* Keep a bucket of water (make sure it's water) near the fire at all
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times just in case it gets a little too big, and sets the overhanging
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tree on fire...
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* Don't eat plants that you can't identify, even if they don't look so
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poisonous, and never eat any mushrooms, those cunning bastards can be
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very deceiving.
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Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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FUN WITH CATS
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WAYS TO KILL/TORTURE CATS
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Cats are the most annoying household pets (with the possible exception
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of dogs). Here are some ways to have fun with those deceivingly cute
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felines:
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*NOTE* Before performing most of those techniques it is best to give the
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cat a mild sedative, so it will fall asleep for a little while, while you
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"prepare" it. You can mix the sedative with the cat's food.
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NOW:
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* Put the cat in a metal garbage can and make sure the cat can't get
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out. Pour some gasoline in there (make sure you pour some on the cat
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too), then light a match :).
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* Nail the cat's tail to the ground (while it's still attached to the
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cat).
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* Tie the cat's hind feet together, watch it try to walk, laugh your ass
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off.
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* Tape the cat's asshole shut and put some laxatives in its food.
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* Make a noose, and hang the cat on a lamppost in front of the owner's
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house.
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* Put two poles in the ground, tie each of the cat's legs to the poles,
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sort of like this: |x|. Then you can watch the cat squirm and try to
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break free. You can also start a fire underneath the cat...
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* Chop off the cat's paws, so it just has four bloody pawless legs.
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* Put the cat's feet in quick dry cement.
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* Get a big water jug with a lid, fill it up 1/2 of the way with water,
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toss the cat in there, and lock the lid tightly. If the jug is clear
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you get to watch the cat try to swim.
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* Put the cat in the freezer, hold the door so it can't get out.
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* Put the cat in the microwave...
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* Tie the cat's hind paws to something solid, like a tree, tie the front
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paws to the back bumper of your car. FLOOR IT!
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* Skin the cat...while it's alive.
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* See how flat you can make a cat: drop a big boulder on it, until it's
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almost completely flat.
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* Put the cat in the toilet, sit on the lid, and flush repeatedly.
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-Have fun kiddies!
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email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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GETTING RID OF THE BODY
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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So you've finally killed someone (it's about time Junior!) and because
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(unfortunately) most of us aren't cannibals you now need to dispose of
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the body. There are two things you need to do before you actually get
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rid of the body:
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1) Check the body for any easily identifiable marks, such as tattoos or
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birth marks. Cut those off and dispose of them separately, by burning
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them or cutting the chunk of skin into very small pieces. Also take
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out and cut or burn any ID cards or photos the person has with him.
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2) To conserve space it is best to get a sharp butcher knife or axe and
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chop the body into pieces no bigger than 6 inches, and chop easily
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identifiable parts, like fingers, into smaller pieces.
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Now the actual ways to dispose of the body:
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* Soak all of the pieces of the body in gasoline or other flammable
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liquid and put them in a big fire. Make sure that you do this away
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from other people as the smell will be very strong. If you keep the
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fire going long enough the bones will become very brittle and fragile,
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and once the flesh has burned away you can take a hammer and break the
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bones with ease into little pieces and then put them in a dark bag and
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toss it in the middle of some trash canister.
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* Bury the pieces in the ground (make sure the hole is 5-7 feet deep).
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Do not bury them in your own backyard but in some place away from
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people, like in the midst of a forest or the outskirts of a city (not
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the city where you live).
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* Put the pieces in a dark plastic bag, drop a couple of car (or other)
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air fresheners in there to hide the smell of rotting flesh, then put
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that plastic bag into another, and so on until you have about ten
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layers. Next tie the bag securely, pour some sticky liquid (like motor
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oil) over the bag to discourage people from touching it and looking in
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it. Put the bag in a big trash canister far away from where you live,
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once you put the bag in, pile some other trash bags on top of it, so
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it's not on top.
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Well, you should be able to pick on of those methods, or come up with
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your own "creative" ways.
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Have fun kiddies!
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email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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HERBAL SMOKES
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Are you tired of smoking those darn cigarettes? Well then waste your
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money no more, I have found a healthy and tasty alternative. Smoke
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teabags! They taste good, depending on what type of tea you smoke. It
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will also be harder for people around you to find out that you smoke,
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because the odor will be a pleasant tea-flavored one. You can take a
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cigarette and take out all the bad tobacco and put in the tea, or just
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roll some tea into a piece of paper.
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Then just puff away! Yeay!
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Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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HITLER, THE GREAT
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Before I begin there are two things that need to be said:
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1) Hitler was a great man, 2) I am not a nazi. What Hitler did to all
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those Jews, homosexuals, and others, is of course, inexcusable. The
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problem is that most people are blinded by that aspect, that's the only
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thing they see. When asked about Hitler they would reply "racist
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dickhead, hope the fucker burns well." Yes, that's fine, but I want to
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broaden your opinion, so your reply would be "racist dickhead, hope the
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fucker burns well, he was a hell of a leader though."
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Hitler was a great leader, among other things. You must remember
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that he started out alone. He had no followers. Basically he stood on a
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crate in the middle of a street and started preaching his beliefs, and
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people listened! Not only that, but they believed him and agreed with
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him. From having zero followers to having well over a hundred thousand
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followers, some who still believe his ideas to this present day
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(neo-nazi skinheads, and others), is pretty impressive. You have to
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wonder how he did it. You may say that some people were forced to either
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accept his views or be killed. Yes, it was like that, but during the
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later years. In the beginning Hitler had no authority, he just got out
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of jail. What he did was pretty amazing. He discovered a brand new way
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of getting lots of people's agreement. He invented, or perhaps
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re-invented, the saying "blame someone else." Of course the mass public
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agreed, why not blame someone else, like the Jews, everybody hates them...
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Not only did Hitler manage to get thousands of followers but he
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also managed to setup a successful army, prison camps, and start a war.
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Yes, I think that, no matter how evil, that is pretty amazing for one
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individual.
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We also mustn't forget what Locke said, that the people have the power,
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they chose to give Hitler power, they could have taken it away, in the
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beginning. Hitler did what modern politicians are doing right now: he
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told a bunch of lies (and a few truths too), gained support, and then
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began his tyranny.
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Hitler showed us, perhaps unintentionally, what so many
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philosophers have been talking about, the power of the human will, and
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the spirit of the individual. Hitler knew what he wanted, and he worked
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hard to get it, he should be a role model for all. Remember: it is not
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what his goals where, but that he achieved them (not his goals to make
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the whole earth be anti-Jewish, he did come close to that though...), he
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had will power, he went from nothing to everything.
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I shall close this short essay with one lesser-known fact of Hitler
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that may spite and shock some of you:
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Hitler was a catholic, and he made the cross be one of the most valued
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treasures.
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For any comments email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com
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-----
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HOUSE TRASHING
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000!
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What is house trashing? House trashing is the wonderful art of breaking
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into someone's house and completely trashing it. You shouldn't need a
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phile on house trashing, as this type of thing should come naturally,
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but we must remember that there are some "special" people who need all
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the guidance they can get, so:
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Materials:
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Here are some things you should always have with you on house trashing
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expeditions:
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- Baseball bat (smashing things)
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- Axe (chopping things)
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- Knife (cutting things)
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- Spray paint (writing on things)
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- Flashlights (seeing things)
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- Bottle of nonremovable staining liquid (for spilling on things), such
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as motor oil, soda, gasoline, cooking oil, melted lard, something
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along those lines, even dog shit!
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- Gun (eliminating those who want to stop you)
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- Gloves (to leave to prints)
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- Hat (to leave no hairs lying around)
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- Car (without license plate)/bicycle/fast legs (for fast getaway)
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Trashing:
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* First of all, make sure that no one is in the house and won't be
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coming back for at least two hours.
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* Cut the power to the house to turn off any possible security alarms
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and to cause more damage for the residents of the house. There should
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be metal green or gray boxes around the side or back of the house,
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they should have cables coming out of them, those are probably the
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power cables, use your axe here. Sometimes there are cables coming
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from the "T"-like posts near the house, get those too.
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* Enter through the back door or back window.
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* It would help if you know the general layout of the house so you know
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where everything is, if not, you can use your flashlights to find your
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way around.
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* If you have other people with you, everyone can get at least one room
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to trash, and then you all can trash the remaining ones.
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* Smash the TV with the baseball bat, as well as the stereo system, as
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well as all the other electronic equipment.
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* Pour some motor oil or other staining liquid of choice all over the
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carpets, beds, furniture, etc...
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* Use the axe to chop up bookshelves, chairs, tables, etc...
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* Knock down all the furniture. Knock down the bookshelves and rip all
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the books.
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* Use your knife to cut chairs, mattresses, pillows, couches, etc...
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Spread all the cotton, foam, feathers, etc... throughout the house.
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* If the walls are really weak use the baseball bat to make nice little
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holes in them.
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* Spray paint messages of your choice (the more obscene the better) such
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as "I fuck dead animals for fun and profit" or "If you think what I
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did to your house was bad wait till you see what I'm going to do to
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you" OR if the people in the house have children: "Wait till you see
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what I'll do to your kid(s)." You can also spray paint pentagrams,
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crosses, or other evil symbols.
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* Turn on all the water faucets and clog up the sinks.
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* If there's a dog in the house you can shoot it, then get some nails
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and a hammer and nail it to a wall. Nail it by its 4 paws, and spray
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paint stuff on it.
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* In the kitchen you can take all the food and splatter it on the
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ceiling and throughout the house.
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* Don't set any fires or your masterpiece will be destroyed.
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* In the bathroom get a couple rolls of toilet paper and spread it
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throughout the house.
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* Use the axe to chop any doors to shreds (excluding the front door,
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because someone may easily spot you).
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* Take the garbage from the trashcans and spread it throughout the
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house.
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* Finally, as you are leaving, the last thing to do is to smash all the
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glassware (plates, vases, etc...) and to break all the windows.
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* As you are running out give the mailbox a few swings with your bat.
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Then hop in your car and get the hell out of there! Remember the four
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goals of successful house trashing:
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1) Leave no incriminating evidence! (Meaning don't jack-off, bleed,
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shit, piss, loose hair, leave fingerprints, shed skin, etc...anywhere
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near or in the house. Also don't leave any of your "tools" lying
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around.)
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2) Be as quiet as possible!
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3) Get out as fast as possible!
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4) MAKE AS MUCH DAMAGE AS POSSIBLE!
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-have fun kiddies!
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Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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-----
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FUN WITH NAILS
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Nails are ever so much fun. Here are ways you can find the path to simple
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amusement with simple nails:
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*NOTE* When I say to put the nails "standing up" that means that the
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sharp end should be sticking out from the ground. Also, sometimes nails
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fall down so it's best to nail them through a board to steady them.
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* Get some rusty nails and take them to the beach with you. Put them
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standing up in the sand, and in the shallow water.
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* Put some nails standing up right next to a person's bed.
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* Put some nails standing up under a person's pillow, "fluff" the pillow
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so the nails aren't noticeable.
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* Nail a door shut by nailing some nails right in front of the door, on
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the ground. So when the person will try to open the door the nails
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will prevent him from doing so.
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* Put some rusty nails standing up in the sand at playgrounds, you can
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also nail them through the plastic tunnels, stand underneath the
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tunnels and hammer the nails.
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* Hammer a nail into a person's car keyhole, or house keyhole.
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* Nail some lengthy, but thin nails through a wooden baseball bat
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(careful not to split the bat), and then go and smash somebody's face
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in.
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* Spray paint the nails white and then superglue them to the bottom of
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the shallow end of the pool.
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* Hammer the nails through a hated neighbor's water pipes.
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* Get about 5 black cats or stronger firecrackers, tie their fuses
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together, then tape the black cats together, next attach about 10-20
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nails with tape to the black cat bundle, then light the fuse and run,
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you can toss the bundle in a crowded area for more fun!
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* Superglue a nail to the seat of a chair and to the back of the chair.
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* Superglue a small nail to the underside of a doorknob or a car door
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handle.
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* Nail some animal's tail to the ground.
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Have fun kiddies!
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email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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-----
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SIMPLE REVENGE TECHNIQUES
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Yes, there are lots and lots of revenge files out there, but here are
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some simple methods that I have not seen yet:
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+ you will need to know some information about your victim, such as :
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name, address, phone number, and email +
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* You'll be surprised how easy it is to cancel or change a
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magazine/newspaper subscription. All you have to do is call the
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magazine/newspaper, tell the victim's name ("your" name) when
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prompted, and then tell the new address or cancel the subscription.
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That's it.
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* Write your victim's phone number everywhere, add slogans such as "free
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queer phone sex."
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* Call your victim at odd hours of the night, or got to the website
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www.mrwakeup.com, it is a free service that offers to call "your"
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house at any time, to wake you up, if you have a plane to catch. It
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also has a handy feature that can call every 5 minutes...I'm sure you
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see the possibilities
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* If you know you victim's email address you can post it everywhere on
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the internet, especially in gay chatrooms and message boards, and
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subscribe him to different newsletters...
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* Post the victim's phone number in chatrooms and message boards.
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* If you know the emails of the victim's friends you can setup your own
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free email account with yahoo.com, or hotmail.com, and then send an
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email to all of the victim's friends saying that you are "mark"
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(replace with the name of your victim), and that this is your new
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email. So now you'll be able to read all the email his friend's send
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him, while your victim will wonder why nobody is emailing him. You can
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also tell his friends that "you" got a new phone number, and tell them
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yours, or somebody else's.
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* There are many product offers that say "send no money now! We will
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bill you later." Take advantage of such glorious opportunities, and of
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course, use your victim's name and address. He'll be getting lots of
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stuff and lots of bills...
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* Subscribe your victim to all of those mail-order music clubs (like
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Columbia records), and book clubs (like QPB paperback). He'll be
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getting monthly books and records, and monthly bills. Well, those
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things should be enough to drive your victim to mental instability.
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-T0o0tles everyone!
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Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com
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SHOCKER
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BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
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Here's a really fun 'n' easy way you can electrocute and mess someone up
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pretty bad (even kill them). The only materials you need are two wires,
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some tape, and an electrical outlet (the thing you plug your stereo or
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TV into...). The length of the wires should depend on where the desired
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electrical outlet is, and where you want to place the wires to shock
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your victim. Crisscross the wires together, leaving both of their ends
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uncrossed (one end will go in contact with the victim, other will go
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into the outlet), if the wires are insulated (have that plastic stuff on
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them) then make sure the 4 ends of the wires are not insulated and
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actually have the metal tips exposed (if not cut off the plastic
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covering):
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|
(crude ASCII pic) =<><><><><><| .
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"=" the exposed wire ends that will come in contact with your target.
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|
"><" crisscrossed wires
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|
"<" the ends of the wires that will go into the outlet.
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"|" outlet
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Before you stick the wires in the outlet you need to turn off the
|
|
electricity in the house so that you wont get shocked because of your
|
|
clumsiness. Stick both (2) uncrossed tips from one end of the crossed wires
|
|
into the 2 holes of the outlet (the top 2 rectangular holes, not the bottom
|
|
round hole), one wire tip in each hole. Stick the wires in about 1 inch or
|
|
so. To make sure that they don't fall out put some tape over the outlet and
|
|
the wires. Next stretch the crisscrossed wires towhere you target will get
|
|
shocked. You can tie them to a metal doorknob,put them in the target's
|
|
pillow, in a chair cushion, by their bed, etc...You can even stretch the
|
|
wires under your shirt (wear a long sleeved one), and to your hand, placing
|
|
a piece of wood to block the wires' contact with your skin, then shake hands
|
|
with someone...Don't forget to turn the power back on. You'll know when your
|
|
victim got shocked by theloud screaming. Know that a standard Amerikan
|
|
household outlet will deliver a 110 volt shock, while one of those big
|
|
appliance outlets, like the type you plug a fridge or a washing machine
|
|
into, will deliver a 220 volt shock.
|
|
|
|
Enjoy! But not too much!
|
|
|
|
email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
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-----
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FUN WITH SMOKE BOMBS
|
|
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
|
|
|
|
So you got some smoke bombs but all that ganja has made your brain a
|
|
little fuzzy, so you can't come up with anything to do with them? Well
|
|
never fear! DIzzIE's here! Here are some ways to amuse yourself:
|
|
|
|
* Toss a couple smoke bombs in the middle of a busy intersection, let
|
|
the crashes begin!
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|
|
|
* Set a couple off in a movie theater and yell "Fire!"
|
|
|
|
* If you see a house with an open window toss one right in.
|
|
|
|
* Creep up to a car with an open window and people inside, toss and run.
|
|
|
|
* Light some at large public events like parades, or town meetings, it
|
|
helps if you add some nice phrases like "Fire!" or "Mustard gas!"
|
|
or "We're all gonna die!"
|
|
|
|
* If you set one or two off in a classroom (don't forget to yell
|
|
"Fire!") the whole school will be evacuated, and lots of fire engines
|
|
will come. All-in-all, you'll miss at least an hour or two of school.
|
|
|
|
* If you want to waste firefighters' time (and therefore prevent them
|
|
from putting out real fires :)) call in a fire, then run over to where
|
|
you said the fire was and light a few smoke bombs. Once they arrive
|
|
they can't blame you for anything, because you saw a lot of smoke and
|
|
got worried, if anything you should be praised, remind them of that.
|
|
|
|
* Set a lot of them off in stores, and while there is a bunch of smoke
|
|
and nobody can see you steal as much stuff as you can, and get out of
|
|
there.
|
|
|
|
* Bring some on an airplane for all sorts of fun.
|
|
|
|
* Put one heads-down (so the smoke goes into the anthill) in an anthill.
|
|
This will make all the ants run out, it's pretty cool to watch.
|
|
That should be enough to start you off, you should be able to come up
|
|
with more ideas, if you can't then you're one stupid fuck! Ahahaha!
|
|
|
|
-Have fun kiddies!
|
|
|
|
Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
|
|
|
|
-----
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|
|
SODA BOMB
|
|
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
|
|
|
|
Here's a simple little activity that will give you lots of joy, or is at
|
|
least a good time killer. Get one of those aluminum (12oz) cans of Coke,
|
|
or Dr.Pepper, or whatever, and shake it up, a lot, a whole lot. Then
|
|
toss the now "pressurized" can on a hard or jagged surface in the middle
|
|
of a crowd.
|
|
You can also use the big plastic bottles, but those need to land on a
|
|
sharp point. Or you can always tie a good ol' M-80 or firecracker to the
|
|
cans or bottles, to make sure they explode. Yup, nothing like tossing
|
|
some of those at weddings, or barmitsfah.
|
|
|
|
Enjoy.....but not too much...
|
|
|
|
Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com
|
|
|
|
-----
|
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|
|
HOMEMADE STINK BOMB
|
|
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000
|
|
|
|
Stink bombs, so easily assembled, yet so nauseating. There are many
|
|
chemicals you can mix that will produce a bad smell, but to get those
|
|
chemicals you have to go to some special store or find them on the internet,
|
|
and that's way too much work while you already have the stuff to make a
|
|
stink bomb in your very own kitchen (assuming you have a kitchen...). The
|
|
amount of materials to put in the stink bomb depends on how big you want to
|
|
make it (ex. 2 spoons of mayonnaise for a regular-sized stink bomb, the
|
|
whole can for a big one). Use common sense (know what that is?) when
|
|
rationing. You will need a jar with a firm lid. Add all of the following
|
|
into the jar [amounts are for an average-sized stink bomb]:
|
|
|
|
Mayonnaise (2-3 spoonfuls)
|
|
Milk (1 cup)
|
|
Fish (1)
|
|
Cream of mushroom soup (uncooked) (1/2 cup)
|
|
Beer (1/2 cup)
|
|
Sour cream (1-2 spoonfuls)
|
|
Egg (broken) (1)
|
|
Canned sour lettuce (1 spoonful)
|
|
Sour pickle (several slices)
|
|
Urine (1/3 cup)
|
|
Water (to help mix things) (1/3 cup)
|
|
|
|
Don't worry if you don't put in a couple ingredients.
|
|
Now put the lid on and shake the jar for about a minute. Take the lid
|
|
off (or you can keep it on, if you must), and store it in a hot and/or
|
|
sunny place, preferably outdoors (like a balcony), for about a week or
|
|
two, then come back to it and take a sniff, if you feel your stomach
|
|
contents coming up your throat you have made a successful stink bomb!
|
|
Pour it wherever you want it to stink really bad!
|
|
|
|
-have fun kiddies!
|
|
|
|
email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
|
|
|
|
-----
|
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|
|
WASTING THEIR TIME
|
|
By: DIzzIE (C)2000
|
|
|
|
This is a fun thing to try when you want to piss someone off, are bored,
|
|
or want to get someone fired. If you know someone who has a job such as:
|
|
car salesman, furniture salesman, virtually any kind of salesman, you
|
|
probably know that those jobs sometimes pay on the amount of sales made.
|
|
But we don't want any of those sleazy car salesmen getting rich, do we?
|
|
|
|
What you do:
|
|
|
|
* Go to a car dealer, or a used car dialer. Find your victim (one of the
|
|
salesmen), tell him that you want to buy a car, but you don't know
|
|
much about cars...He'll be happy to assist you. He'll show you one car,
|
|
you'll spend a lot of time asking him every tiny detail about the car,
|
|
like if it has a cup holder, or if the back seats can be taken out, or
|
|
if it comes in green, or if it has a free cellphone with purchase, you
|
|
get the point. When he's done answering your questions about that car,
|
|
slowly stroke your chin with your hand and shake you head slowly, then
|
|
say that you don't think this car is right for you because your inner
|
|
spirit wont be comfortable in such a vehicle. Then go on to the next
|
|
car. Keep this up for a couple of hours, or until the day is over. The
|
|
salesman will probably start to get annoyed and start being just a tad
|
|
bit rude, that's when you go to his superior... and somebody looses
|
|
their job.
|
|
|
|
* You can use the above method with almost any sales job: you can make a
|
|
furniture seller take you to every piece of furniture in the store,
|
|
you can even occupy one of those telemarketers or door-to-door
|
|
salesmen with pointless questions.
|
|
|
|
* For added affect, pretend to speak really poor English and make the
|
|
seller repeat everything 5 times.
|
|
|
|
This is just one way to strike back at corporate America. It works
|
|
especially well if you get all your friends to come and do the same thing to
|
|
the same business every day for a month. You'll block all the
|
|
possible business they could have made and eventually they will go
|
|
bankrupt...
|
|
|
|
Also, nothing hurts a business more than an upset customer. By posing as
|
|
a seller and being rude to a customer you can make sure the business
|
|
gets a kick in the ass.
|
|
|
|
Have fun kiddies!
|
|
|
|
Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com
|
|
|
|
-T0oOtles!
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
FUN AT THE BOOKSTORE
|
|
|
|
Here are some ways to amuse your simple little mind at a bookstore:
|
|
|
|
* Get some books about homosexuality, coping with death, Satanism,
|
|
overcoming drug abuse, dealing with divorce, etc... Then put the books in
|
|
the Kids book section. Also put in some Playboy magazines.
|
|
* Ask the sales people if they have unique books with titles such as
|
|
"Bestiality For Dummies" or "Kiddie Porn: The Complete Guide For
|
|
Pedophiles." Come up with more obscene names and keep asking to "double
|
|
check" for the books.
|
|
* Pick some expensive book and tell the sales person you want to order a
|
|
hundred copies of the book. Give a fake name, address, and phone number
|
|
(or the name, address, and phone of someone you hate).
|
|
* Come up to the manager and pretend that you're the author of some book and
|
|
ask if you can "talk about your book" in the store. You can arrange a date
|
|
and then either not come, or come and pretend(?) to be drunk. Say that
|
|
you're some famous author so more people will show up.
|
|
* Get some lame joke book like "1,001 Knock-Knock Jokes" and start laughing
|
|
hysterically.
|
|
* Take a bunch of books and magazines with you and then go and sit in a
|
|
corner of the bookstore and start muttering things, an occasional scream
|
|
will help too.
|
|
* Make flyers that say the bookstore is going out of business and all books
|
|
will be discounted 75%. Put the flyers around town and set a date for the
|
|
sale. Then come and watch a lot of angry people, help start a riot!
|
|
* Some larger bookstores also have stuffed animals for sale, like Winnie the
|
|
Poop or the Telefuckies. Arrange the toys in sexual positions like "69."
|
|
* Get a bunch of magazines and take them to the other end of the store,
|
|
pretend like you're reading them, and then leave, leaving the pile of
|
|
magazines there. The employees will have lots of fun putting all the
|
|
magazines back in the right place, especially if you scatter them
|
|
throughout the store...You can make it a scavenger hunt by leaving vague
|
|
notes taped on to the magazines that hint the location of others.
|
|
* Come in to the store with a big bag, go to the end of the store, pretend
|
|
to be putting books in the bag and then run out of the store, laughing
|
|
evilly, boy will they be embarrassed when you show them your bag has no
|
|
books in it...
|
|
|
|
Have fun kiddies!
|
|
email me: xcon0@yahoo.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
uXu #555 Underground eXperts United 2000 uXu #555
|
|
Call PFTE BBS -> telnet:www.iirg.org | http://www.iirg.org/~black_ic/
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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