167 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
167 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
### #### ### ### ### ####
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
### ### ### ### ###
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
########## ### ### ##########
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
|
|
Underground eXperts United
|
|
|
|
Presents...
|
|
|
|
####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ## ##
|
|
#### ## ## #### # # #### ####### #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ##
|
|
## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### #######
|
|
|
|
[ An Ordinary Day In The Life Of Adam ] [ By The uXu Crew ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
An ordinary day in the life of Adam - a literary duel
|
|
|
|
by the uXu crew
|
|
|
|
[ Background information: As an experiment, some of us tried
|
|
to keep a story alive by sending it to each other and
|
|
adding another small part of the story each time. This is
|
|
how it turned out... B=Bravemoore, G=The GNN, C=The Chief.
|
|
The numbers are the date it was written: YYMMDD ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
My name is Adam Betts. This my record of what happened on May seventeenth,
|
|
1996. I will try to be precise and not leave out anything that might become
|
|
significant in the future.{B 970127}
|
|
|
|
I woke up early in the morning that particular day. The morning sun shone
|
|
through my window, and placed a thin film of sweat on my face. A strange,
|
|
sort of humming, sound could be heard from outside the window. I had never
|
|
ever heard such a sound in my whole life.{G 970128}
|
|
|
|
A whale trying to make it on the streets? Two owls arguing over what to eat
|
|
for lunch next Thursday? Or just the neighborhood kids, watching dragons in
|
|
the back yard after smoking too many banana peels perhaps? No, those were all
|
|
sounds I knew, sounds I could clearly make out, sounds I heard every day.
|
|
This was something different. I decided to ignore it, and hoped it would go
|
|
away if I went down the stairs to eat breakfast.{C 970131}
|
|
|
|
The Maggots cereal company had a commercial on cable just after the morning
|
|
news. At the end of the ad, the sound significantly became more powerful and
|
|
my glass of juice began a slow journey to the edge of the table due to the
|
|
vibrations. This was definitely low frequency! I took a quick a glance out
|
|
the windows and saw two big, white, unmarked trucks parked outside my
|
|
neighbor's house.{B 970202}
|
|
|
|
Two men, wearing some kind of uniforms, stood by one of the trucks. They
|
|
talked to each other but I could not hear what they said. In retrospect, I
|
|
know I should have suppressed my curiosity, forgotten about it all and just
|
|
kept on going with ordinary life. But instead, I carefully sneaked the
|
|
kitchen window open to be able to hear what they talked about.{G 920202}
|
|
|
|
"So it is time to deliver, is it?", the man in the green uniform said.
|
|
"You heard me.", the other man said and picked up a white box from the
|
|
back of one of the vans. "And you can't do nothing about it."
|
|
"Watch me.", the man in the green uniform said and picked up an identical
|
|
white box from the other van.
|
|
"This is crazy. You know what happened last time and I'm sure you don't
|
|
want to go through _that_ again."
|
|
"I'm ready this time.", the man in the green uniform said with a wide grin
|
|
on his face.
|
|
"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."
|
|
|
|
As soon as I saw them opening their boxes, I knew I shouldn't have
|
|
bothered. When they started to smear pizza sauce all over each other, I knew
|
|
breakfast had been a bad idea. I had seen it before. I knew what would
|
|
happen. And still I watched it happen. Why the neighborhood kids pulled
|
|
stunts like that, ordering from the two rival companies, "Covert Calvin's"
|
|
and "Undercover Umberto's", I could understand, but when they did it early in
|
|
the morning, just after breakfast, I had to clean my kitchen floor.{C 970208}
|
|
|
|
Two cops arrived five minutes later to sort out what was going on. Without
|
|
further discussion the two men, now seriously covered in various pizza
|
|
toppings, drove off. When the two trucks were gone, so was the sound. I
|
|
figured that the two turbo diesel engines' noise combined must have caused
|
|
the heavy vibrations. I was almost worried the old maid in the apartment
|
|
above had killed herself with that 1968 Aphrodite-DeLux dildo of hers, which
|
|
I accidentally saw when she dropped it down the stairs when moving in. That
|
|
thing was a monster!
|
|
|
|
After breakfast I grabbed my attache case and went out to catch the bus.
|
|
Besides the beggars and homeless people annoying me all the way to the bus
|
|
stop and two stickups, this was just another ordinary working day.{B 970210}
|
|
|
|
"Hey bitch!" someone suddenly yelled. I turned around. My God. It was the
|
|
President of the United States.{G 970212}
|
|
|
|
The sudden appearance of the Man together with the fact that I still walked
|
|
toward the bus was just too much for me to handle. I quickly leaped over the
|
|
fence to my left, ran through someone's back yard, and suddenly stopped. Not
|
|
because _I_ wanted to. No no. Don't misunderstand me. I would have continued
|
|
until my legs were not able to carry me further. It was the rabid pitbull
|
|
holding on to my leg with its razor-sharp teeth that wanted me to stop.
|
|
{C 970213}
|
|
|
|
I pulled out my Anti-Pitbull can I bought last week and sprayed the poor,
|
|
starved animal until it let go of my leg. When I ran away and leaped over the
|
|
fence, I promised the dog that I would come back later with some decent food.
|
|
This is when I figured out that the pitbull wasn't really the problem.
|
|
The three guys from the President's Security Guards running after me were!
|
|
They must have thought I planned an assault just because I ran away when the
|
|
President yelled at me. Damn, I knew I should have bought some Anti-Security
|
|
Guard spray as well!{B 970219}
|
|
|
|
I did not have to worry about the guards for long, however. Just as they were
|
|
about to catch up on me, a Norwegian parade (remember, this happened on May
|
|
seventeenth, Norway's national day) entered the scene and turned everything
|
|
into complete chaos. The guards disappeared in the crowd as if they had never
|
|
existed.
|
|
Unfortunately, so did I. Surrounded by crazy Norwegians, constantly
|
|
yelling "Hurra for Sverige" and singing "Latom oss sanka vart eget land ner i
|
|
Nordsjon dar det fanemej hor hemma tralala", I tried to find my way out of
|
|
the crowd. It was not all that easy.{G 970221}
|
|
|
|
But when I saw the chic sign that said "Mr. Business" over the crowd in the
|
|
distance, I knew I was heading in the right direction. Mr. Business, the pawn
|
|
shop, was located next to "Hairy Joe's," the fast food chain king, and next
|
|
to Hairy Joe's was "Polaroid Plaza." Two blocks south from the plaza, around
|
|
the corner from "Sweaty Burgers," I had heard that I should be able to find
|
|
"Sal's Shoes," from where I could easily see a bus stop on the other side of
|
|
"Killer's Park." And I really needed a bus stop right now.{C 970316}
|
|
|
|
I easily found my way to the bus stop, and got on the first bus to the part
|
|
of the city where I work. Well, I don't actually work there, but that is the
|
|
place where I spend all my days, trying to look busy. If my boss should turn
|
|
up, I look extremely busy, especially when it's close to payday.
|
|
It was the day all the buses changed their routes, which I found out half
|
|
way out of the city. There I was, not one yard closer to where I was supposed
|
|
to be at this time of the day. I stepped out of the bus, and found to my
|
|
surprise that I was <...> {B 970317}
|
|
|
|
dead.{G 970319}
|
|
|
|
To make the long story of what happened next a bit shorter, let me just say
|
|
that my attache case contained a couple of souls, and that I made a great
|
|
deal. Safely back on the bus in the other direction, I noticed the slim
|
|
Cookie twins in the seats right behind me. Cathlyn and Jane. They seemed to
|
|
be discussing something extremely important. What a conversation, I thought,
|
|
remembering that they only said one word at a time, filling in for each
|
|
other. Just like them Donald Duck nephews. Oh man, I thought. If I had to
|
|
listen to them all the way back to the city, I would be right back in hell
|
|
again.{C 970319}
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
uXu #395 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #395
|
|
Call UNPHAMILIAR TERRITORY -> telnet upt.org
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|