116 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
116 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
### #### ### ### ### ####
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
### ### ### ### ###
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
########## ### ### ##########
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
|
|
Underground eXperts United
|
|
|
|
Presents...
|
|
|
|
####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ## ##
|
|
#### ## ## #### # # #### ## ## ##
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ## ##
|
|
## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### ######
|
|
|
|
[ To Lose Your Religion ] [ By Knyttet ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To lose your religion
|
|
|
|
|
|
I never really thought so much about religion. My parents raised me in a
|
|
home I guess you can call Christian. We never went to church but they sent
|
|
me and my sister off to Sunday school (our theory is that this gave them
|
|
some extra sleep on Sunday mornings, because it was the more religious
|
|
family next door that drove us there). I guess this gave me my faith
|
|
in God.
|
|
But when I grew up I quit Sunday school and I started to live a life not
|
|
more Christian than anyone else. Well, I have to admit I kept on saying my
|
|
prayers in the evening, hoping that someone or something would hear me. I
|
|
developed my own opinions about what was out there and what was not.
|
|
|
|
Then one day I found (or it found me) a religion that seemed to be all
|
|
right, although I hadn't actually been searching. I started to get curious
|
|
and I wanted to know more about this. Everything they told me sounded so
|
|
good. I guess I wanted to believe in something. It felt so good to find
|
|
these lovely people that believed in almost the same things as myself. I
|
|
guess I accepted all the differences with the explanation that if they
|
|
believed in it as much as they did, it has got to be the truth.
|
|
|
|
The story goes on. I joined the church, totally convinced that this was
|
|
THE TRUTH. I was happy in this belief even though I had to change my way
|
|
of living a bit, but I didn't think it was that hard. I had found my path
|
|
and this was the way to walk it.
|
|
|
|
Of course my friends had some (or a lot of) opinions but I have always
|
|
been walking on my own paths, and as long as I was happy, why bother?
|
|
My parents said something like that but in a different, not so nice way.
|
|
But I have always been the black sheep of the family. Why change the old
|
|
family traditions?
|
|
|
|
When I've been a member for quite a while, I started to notice more and
|
|
more things that I thought were strange and that I couldn't really accept.
|
|
But when I asked someone that had more knowledge than me and had been a
|
|
member for a longer time than me, there was always a clever answer waiting
|
|
for me, that I could accept. So I kept on walking, happily, on my path.
|
|
|
|
One day I found a document telling me a lot of "hidden truths" about the
|
|
church and about the faith I had. This made me think a lot, and I mean A
|
|
LOT. I didn't ask anyone in the church about the questions that popped up
|
|
in my head. This was something I wanted to think through for myself. I
|
|
wanted to get some things straight before I asked someone. You got to have
|
|
a good question before you can ask someone something. I guess this was a
|
|
stupid thing to do, if I really wanted to keep my faith in the church. I
|
|
now started to lose it, piece by piece it was falling apart.
|
|
|
|
I have, however, always been the kind of person that wants to know the
|
|
truth even though it sometimes hurts. So I kept on searching for more
|
|
information, and tried to put the pieces together. This was a really tough
|
|
time, it was like the ground you stood on suddenly disappeared and you
|
|
started to fall.
|
|
|
|
It was hard, all my waken hours I was thinking about this. Asking myself
|
|
questions. In the nights I dreamed a lot about it. A lot of dreams where
|
|
I was confused about the church, dreams where I couldn't stand up for the
|
|
church in front of other people. And I'm that kind of person that always
|
|
stands up for the things I believe in, so this felt really bad.
|
|
|
|
When I finally went to our priest to talk about this problem, I guess it
|
|
was already so big that there was no return. I didn't realize it then, but
|
|
now later on I can see it. I had a lot of long and heavy talks with our
|
|
priest. He tried to make things right for me.
|
|
But it didn't help. I was so confused with everything and I was doing even
|
|
more thinking. How could a thing I've been so sure about become such a big
|
|
problem? I wasn't feeling well at all, this "thing" was really eating me.
|
|
I just couldn't get the pieces together anymore.
|
|
|
|
When I finally told my priest that I no longer wanted to be a member of
|
|
the church, it felt like a big relief. Even though I'm not out yet and
|
|
there's a lot of explanations left to do, it feels good. But I'm not
|
|
regretting that period of my life. I've learned a lot and it didn't cost
|
|
me more than some of my time and I think it was worth it.
|
|
|
|
I want you who read this to see it as some kind of warning that you must
|
|
think twice before you decide anything importantly joining a church, it
|
|
might cost you more than it costed me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
uXu #301 Underground eXperts United 1996 uXu #301
|
|
Call PHALLICIDE -> +1-408-883-9535
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|