136 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
136 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### #### ### ### ### ####
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### #######
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ##
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[ The Second Excuse ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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THE SECOND EXCUSE
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by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
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After years of more research, I have finally discovered what people say
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when they fail to write interesting articles... when they cannot put out
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something interesting in their zine... when they mess around with concepts
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they have no clue about.
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I heard this Second Excuse (the first one was about another subject, see
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UXU-041.TXT for details) everywhere I listened. Almost every little sucker
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told me The Second Excuse all the time. So I wondered: "Is it like this all
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over the world?". I decided to find out. It was hard. Once again, I had to
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climb the mountains of Nepal, dive in the Pacific and survive dozens of dry
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deserts to find all e-zine publishers and writers on planet earth.
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But when I, thirsty, hungry and with scars from wild animals all over my
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body, switched on my computer and begun typing again I knew!
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I was right!
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First, some true examples:
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A happy but yet ignorant loser does not hesitate to submit his latest
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how-to file to his own e-zine. Unfortunately, this file is about making
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an explosive that will detonate in your hands before you have reached
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step three in the instructions. What will the loser say when you confront
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him with these facts? "I know nothing about explosives!"
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No...
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One poem is not enough, according to out friend Loser. So he sits down
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and produces twenty-four pieces of art that are so unbelievable worthless
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that the unfortunate people who read them just cannot stop puking. When
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asked how someone can put out such a load of garbage, will Loser explain
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the truth? "I have no talent whatsoever!"
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No...
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Unsatisfied with the government and dedicated to some unknown form of
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anarchy, X decides to write an article about the corrupt society. 20kb
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later, the only thing of substance he has produces is the sentence 'When
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I shoplifted at K-mart I got caught and had to go to the station in a
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police car, something I found to be scary.' How will X reply to the
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statement that he is nothing more than a spoiled kid that knows nothing?
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"Yes, I am a spoiled kid who really does not know anything about the
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complex matters around me!"
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No...
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I love to write fiction, says our friend. That might be the case, but
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when we finally get the chance to read his work, which he has described
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to be tremendous, we find it to be over two-hundred pages of crap. No
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beginning, no end, no contents, no intrigue, nothing. Just before we all
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fall asleep over the monitor, we ask him how-the-hell-he-could-write-
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this-insult-to-good-taste? His answer? "I am not good at writing, that's
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the simple truth of today."
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No...
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Lucky XX got a computer and a modem for Christmas this year! XX begins
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to explore the digital world and soon finds the fun zines and groups he
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fancy. Since XX has not been a part of the underground very long, and he
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knows it, he tries to convince the scene that he is the coolest dude
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alive by writing files that clearly explains why the underground suck
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and why he is the one who ought to make the rules. When XX finds himself
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on the floor with a gun to his head will he apologize for his childish
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behavior?
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No...
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Some pathetic fool that seems to hold only five words in his vocabulary
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demands us to read his zine. A closer look reveals that his 'zine'
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consists of nine files, 500 k each, including four index and information
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files where you can see that they have yet no ftp-site but a defective
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mailing-list. "I wish to explain that my zine sucks big time!"
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No...
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etc etc etc...
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So what DO they say? Well... as we know, they all say the same thing. The
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excuse that every low level writer uses when he or she is unable to produce
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something that makes you interested and is a pleasure to read.
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Everywhere. All over the world!
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"This file contains more than what meets the eye!"
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///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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'The open society and its enemies.'
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A debate on this subject in progress at: THE STASH +46-13-YES
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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The Spell of Plato.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #276 Underground eXperts United 1995 uXu #276
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Call PHALLICIDE -> +1-408-883-9535
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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