108 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
108 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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[ The Driving Test ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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"THE DRIVING TEST"
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by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
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The old man in the passenger seat looked at me and wondered if I was not
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going to put on the seat belt. I explained that I was not going to wear that
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silly belt even if it was the last thing I ever did. Then I pulled in the
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reverse and sped out of the parking lot. When we reached the city I made
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sure that the speed did not drop below 100 mph.
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The old man thought it was the devil himself that drove the damn car,
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but it was only me. Now and then I covered my eyes with both my hands and
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yelled "Look! No hands!" I tried to hit an oncoming car, but the lame
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driver in it turned to the right and crashed into a shopping window instead.
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I sighed and decided not to stop for a red light. We missed a police car
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by two inches and the old man puked in his lap. I sure hoped he did not soil
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my driving license that he had his portfolio.
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After a while I demanded that the man would give me a bag that I had
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placed in the back seat. He refused and begged me to stop, so I had to
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cover my eyes again.
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"Give me the bag, la la la, give me the bag, la la la!" I sang while
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pressing the pedal to the metal.
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We managed to reach 120 mph before the old man quickly hurled himself to
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the back seat and grabbed the bag. When I got it, I opened it and revealed a
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huge bottle of fine swedish vodka. I gulped down several ounces of the
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strong liquid. Then I turned to the old man and offered him some. He said
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no. How childish.
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"You see," I said, "I drive much better when I'm drunk."
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"Oh, really?" he replied with fear in his eyes.
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We had been on the road for ten minutes and I figured that it was time
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for a smoke. I controlled the car with my knees as I rolled me a fine joint.
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"Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?" I said and laughed.
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The old man did not laugh.
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"Oh, I see that you prefer pills!" I said when he threw over a dozen of
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them into his mouth. "My heart..." he gasped.
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"No need to worry my friend," I said, "This will be over soon."
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As I had expected, two police cars began to chase us. The streets were
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pretty crowded with cars, so I had to drive on the sidewalk. We trashed
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several mail boxes, news paper stands and phone booths. The lame police men
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obviously could not take the heat because they crashed after just a couple
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of minutes. What a drag.
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Now it was time for the Grand Finale. I left the streets and entered a
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shopping center with the car. Customers threw themselves to the sides,
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shelves and products flew in all directions. When everything seemed to be
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completely destroyed, I left the place through a window.
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The time was up, so I returned to the driving school and parked the car.
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"Did I pass?" I asked.
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The old man stared at me as if I was some kind of maniac.
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"WHAT? HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?" he screamed. "OF COURSE YOU
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DID NOT PASS! MY GOD, I HAVE NEVER EVER IN MY WHOLE LIFE EXPERIENCED... SUCH
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AN EXPERIENCE! GET OUT OF THE CAR! GO AWAY! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"
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"I failed?"
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"YES! YES! YES! OUT! OUT!"
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I stepped out. The old man crawled out of the car and tore the portfolio
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to pieces, while humming some old tune. My driving license fell to the
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ground. The old man picked it up and was about to rip it in half when I
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asked: "So, what time next week?"
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"WHAT?"
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"Next week. I'll come back next week and try again. What time?"
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The man became silent. His mouth opened and his tongue fell out. Drool
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dripped over his shirt. Then he handed me the license and begged me not
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to come back again. With joy in my heart, I returned home to tell mom that
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I passed the test, and that I was now to be considered a mature and safe
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driver.
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//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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I know you are looking for the place to be.
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This is the place: HTTP://WWW.PLA-NET.NET/~JWAPIENN/ZINEWORLD/
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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Target; Renegade.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #274 Underground eXperts United 1995 uXu #274
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Call METALLAND SOUTHWEST -> +1-713-468-5802
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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