128 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
128 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ##
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[ Never Work With Amateurs ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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NEVER WORK WITH AMATEURS
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by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
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"Trust me. I am a pro"
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(Amateur X)
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When you want something done properly, be sure that you strictly stick to
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experienced people who got what it takes to do whatever you want to do.
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Never, ever, work with amateurs. Sure, it is fun to impress newbies with the
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cool parts of your trade - but in the long run it will turn against you. Big
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time.
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Let me offer you six short reasons:
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1) Amateurs nowadays seem to believe that they know everything there is
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to know about anything. This plebs rule, revolt of the masses, will
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completely ruin all plans for the modus operandi, because the fool you
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expected to shut up and just do whatever he was told to do will suddenly
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begin to explain how things ought to be done. Even worse, he will not
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stop bitching until you offer him to change a detail that will suit
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him. That detail will, naturally, destroy the whole operation and send
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you and the fool to the monkey house.
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2) Amateurs will never do what you have told them to do. Tell him to stay
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put and shut up, and you will find him ten seconds later behind you
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moaning about how cold it is outside and that 'You will never succeed
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with this' / 'We will never succeed with this' / 'Do like this instead
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<worthless information follows>' / 'I would use a rake if I were you' /
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'Quiet! Listen! I think I heard something! Silent! Was that a car? Be
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still! I am sure I heard something!' / '<Boring boasting about some
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ridiculous deal he did in 1986>' / 'I wanna go home now' ... and so on.
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3) Common sense says that the celebrating is due to afterwards.
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Unfortunately, it comes as no surprise that the one who is completely
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drunk or stoned _before_ the operation will be the amateur. This is no
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huge problem though, since many people prefer a few drinks before the
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action is about to begin. The loaded amateur, however, will turn the
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whole thing into a circus. If he does not pass out on the street he will
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later have to puke somewhere. Probably on an oncoming police car. If he
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avoids this, he will - when things are about to go just fine - come back
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to his so-called 'senses' and run around screaming about cops, jail and
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what his damn mother will say about him committing such a horrible thing.
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4) Guns and amateurs will not mix very good. The amateur, who probably have
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not even seen a piece, will be so thrilled that he will do anything to
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get a chance to use it. This is naturally dangerous. If the work must
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be done in the dark, there is a very big chance that the nervous amateur
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will shoot you by mistake. If some unlucky fella decides to interfere with
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your work I bet you $200 that he will die in less than one second. Wow,
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here we go: Bring out the red carpet and take me to the magic capsule
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at death row! Give an amateur a gun and you will soon hope that he will
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shoot himself by mistake. The odds are high. But not high enough, so
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kill him yourself if it turns out to be necessary.
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5) Amateurs will suffer from extreme paranoia. Since I do not want to annoy
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the establishment too much, I will say that paranoia sure is a fine habit
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that all men of respect ought to have - to a certain extent. It is not
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considered cool when the amateur calls you at seven in the morning
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wondering if 'you have heard anything from the police?' This will happen
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after every operation, even those that only included shop-lifting paper
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napkins at Burger King the night before.
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6) Thanks to divine miracles you might perhaps manage to finish the business
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even with the amateur hanging around. However, the saga will by no chance
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end at that stage. While you chill out and make a few necessary calls,
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the amateur will:
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a) Break down and tell his friends/parents/wife.
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b) Believe he's the incarnation of Bugsy and happily
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tell his friends/neighbors/wife how cool he is.
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c) Write some goddamn t-file about it all, which
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will sooner or later get in the wrong hands.
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I need not go into detail about how the amateur will act if he is
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interrogated. Mentioning the concept 'oral diarrhea' will probably be
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enough.
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That is it. After this informative file I suppose that all of your friends
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will look like amateurs in your newly opened eyes. That is the point.
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Always work alone.
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//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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... utilitarism, en teleologisk teori, tar ingen pa allvar.
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Try joy. Nice try. Try this: HTTP://WWW.LYSATOR.LIU.SE/~CHIEF
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We never leave a trace, nor forget a face.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #269 Underground eXperts United 1995 uXu #269
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Call DESTINY STONE II -> +61-924-62553
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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