169 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
169 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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####### ## ## ####### # # #### ####### #######
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
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## ## ####### ####### # # ###### ####### #######
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[ Wild West ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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"WILD WEST"
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by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
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<yawel> Do you really ENJOY living in a cold country like Sweden?
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<GNN> Well yes... it is quite amusing sometimes...
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<yawel> Ha! Move to United States instead! Land of the free!
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<GNN> I do not think so... really... no
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<yawel> Why not?!
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<GNN> Why not? WHY NOT? Let me tell you WHY NOT!
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(IRC Channel 1994)
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She woke up at seven in the morning by gun fire as usual. Someone had
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obviously tried to break into her house again and discovered too late that
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her kitchen floor had naughty hidden switches, which made any attempt to
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walk on it impossible since two shot guns would immediately open fire
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against the intruder. She sat up and tried to get the sleep out of her
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eyes. She yawned and pressed a couple of buttons by the bed which turned
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the alarm system off.
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She rose and said with a sleepy voice: - God bless America!
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Something moved behind her. She got to her feet, turned around and
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pulled out the mini-pistol from her rectum (Glock Mini Anal Self-Defence 3
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mm). She grabbed the slippery gun with both her hands and aimed at the
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bed.
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- Good morning darling, her husband said from the other side of the bed.
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When are you going to stop that daily behavior?
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- Sorry love, she said and pushed the gun back into her ass. You know I
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am quite nervous before my first cup of coffee.
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Her husband scratched his head and looked around.
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- What time is it?
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- Seven o'clock. You can sleep for another hour.
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- Yeah... I think I heard something from the kitchen... again. It is
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your turn to wipe it up this time.
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He turned around and fell asleep. She got dressed. Jeans, socks, a
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t-shirt and a pull-over. A .38 Chief special strapped to her leg, two
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Magnum .44 in her shoulder holsters and seven bottles of tear gas (ReizGas
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85%) in various pockets. Then she went down the stairs to the kitchen.
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There was a young boy on the floor, armed to his teeth with guns and
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knives. Thankfully, he was dead. The shot guns had blown his head all
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over the floor and walls. When she entered the kitchen, the two shot guns
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(Mossberg Twelve Gauge, mounted on the walls and equipped with Automatic
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Self-Defence Firing Devices) followed her every move.
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She picked up the phone and dialled 911. A electronic voice answered
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with a jolly voice.
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- Welcome to 911! Press '1' for information. Press '2' for ambulance.
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Press '3' for body-snatching.
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She pressed the button with a '3' on it.
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- Thank you. A body-snatcher will come within a few hours and pick up
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your problem. Have a nice day.
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Click.
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She stepped over the dead boy and went to the fridge. A quick coffee and
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two slices of bread would do just fine for breakfast. She drank the coffee
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and smoked a cigarette, while trying to keep her eyes away from the body.
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She was used to it and that scared her. Dead bodies scared her. If she
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looked at them too much she might become one herself, she thought. It was
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not a pleasant thought to become the loser of the American Dream. She
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finished her breakfast quickly.
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After she had locked the door she went to her car. It was ten metres to
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the car from the front door. Five guys tried to rob her after two metres
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and she had to chase them away with her tear gas. After four metres, two
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girls fired at her from the other side of the street. She threw herself to
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the ground and heard how two-hundred 7.62 bullets swept past her head.
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When she looked up, with all her guns drawn, they were gone. She entered
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her car and drove away.
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It was a beautiful day. The sun shone, birds sang for several minutes
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before hunters picked them out and she only saw nine murders on her way to
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work. Suddenly, a blue van pulled up beside her and someone aimed at her
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with something that looked like a stinger missile (actually it was a
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Stinger Portable). She could not see his face in the dark van.
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A tough male voice screamed at her: - Stop the car bitch or we'll shoot!
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She immediately stopped. The driver obviously did not expect her to
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brake that fast. When the van was in front of her, she kicked a lever by
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her leg and launched a missile (Saddam Automobile Launcher 3.1). A loud
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explosion echoed over the city when the missile blew the van to nothing.
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She drove past the burning ex-van and continued driving to work.
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- Fuck! she suddenly yelled.
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A red light blinked on the dash board. It had been her last missile.
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She was forced to find a gas station before any more incidents occurred.
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Slack's Gas 'n Guns had just opened when she parked her car. She ran to
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the door, constantly firing at the trucks that tried to take her out
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with their roof-mounted machine guns (Maschinengewer MG42's). She managed
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to kill two people with her Magnums and one with her .38 Special. Their
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bodies fell to the ground and immediately grabbed the attention of other
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shooters. They forgot about her and started to fire against the dead
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bodies that were thrown around on the parking lot like riddled dolls.
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She entered the gas station. The owner pointed a M16 against her.
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- Hi beautiful, what can I do for you?
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She placed her guns back into their holsters. The owner lowered his gun.
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- I would like to buy two Saddam missiles for my car.
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- Excellent choice!
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He opened a drawer and brought up a paper.
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- Let me see... what's you name?
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- Mrs Chesterfield.
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- Age?
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- Thirty-two.
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It was a lie. She was thirty-four.
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- Any mental problems?
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- No.
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The owner placed the paper back into the drawer.
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- Fine! However, there's a new law which does not allow me to give you
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the missiles at once. You will have to wait.
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- What? How long?
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- Thirty seconds.
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- Outrageous!
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The owner yawned.
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- Yeah... I know, but that's the law. Ah, now you can have them.
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She took the two yellow missiles and said angrily: - Thanks!
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- No problem. Have a nice day.
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- Sure.
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When she got out, the trucks were gone. She took a deep breath of relief
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and walked to her car. She was just going to place the missiles under the
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car when she discovered that her car was accidentally parked on a private
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lot. She dropped the missiles and stared at the car with fear in her eyes.
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Then she calmed down, smiled and closed her eyes.
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- Bye, she whispered.
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The police choppers emerged from nowhere. There must have been ten of
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them at once, firing their deadly rockets (Air-to-Car model 1995 Police) at
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the car. Mrs Chesterfield and her car was blown to crap after a few
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seconds. Her body was plunged into the air and the police men started to
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target practice on it with their pistols (Desert Eagle .44). Her riddled
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body fell to the hard ground.
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- Another loser of the American Dream, the body-snatchers said to each
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other when they later that day removed the remains of her body.
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///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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Eight cutaway diagrams!
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Two panoramic fold-outs! THE STASH! BBS! Sweden! Call! Check Index!
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A new world order coming up!
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #180 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #180
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Call DESTINY STONE II -> +61-924-62553
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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