489 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
489 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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[ Elite Modemtraders ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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ELITE MODEMTRADERS
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by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
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"I despise you.
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I despise your order, you false-propped authorithy.
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Hang me for it!!!"
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(Louis Lingg, 1898)
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Aspects upon the "elite modemtrading scene".
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It is easy to build castles made out of air and if you get several other
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people to do it - the castles turns real! For several years the "scene"
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was a place made for the people who got some kind of programming, drawing
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or musical skills. However, this also got the attention of the unlucky
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ones who because of the lack brainpower or intelligence could not do
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anything at all.
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These were the so-called "swappers". However, let us not call these
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people unnecessary for the "scene". They had a key-function in spreading
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the demo productions. Spreading by mail is a rather tough work and it
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costs money. But it sure have a certain charm and the swappers were in
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harmony with the rest of the "scene".
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Now we live in a modern age and the swappers have gone modern too, with
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high-speed modems. But something else has happened. The "swappers" have
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turned "elite". Yes, now even swappers are ranked as high as the
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programmers if they manage to constantly "upload" several megs of wares
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(not demos, since the swappers now are free to spread anything). They do
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not even have to be a member of a famous group (even if it helps in the
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case of looking good) to be "elite".
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Still, there is no need for intelligence. Uploading is easy and only
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requires a big ass to sit on for hours and hours.
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We all know how people in cars behave. Even the smallest little man or
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woman can be tough and show people the finger. Why? Easy, they are
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"untouchable" in their car. So are "elite modem swappers" too. They may
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bitch and whine about anything, no one can come and get them through the
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telephone line!
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This is why almost all of the "best" uploaders are only misunderstood
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kids who now have the chance to "be something". An "elite" modemtrader can
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be incredible tough via the boards. He can tell everybody how good he is
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or he can get others (preferably in worse groups) how ultimate "lame" they
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are.
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The "elite boards" consists of special rules, almost like rites. Some
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bizarre examples: 1) It is not good to download anything at all. Of
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course, we wonder how anyone can upload without downloading? 2) Those in
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"better groups" does not have to work as hard with uploading as the others.
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They simple are Better, which reminds us about the society in India with
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castes. 3) No one questions the fact about the ridiculous modemtrading.
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Opponents are not met with the traditional "big mouth talking". Silence is
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the defense. Why is there no answers to these behaviours? Simply, because
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there is no good arguments for the business and "modemtraders" are often
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not bright enough to communicate on a normal level.
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The "elite" modemtrader is unique. He is a megalomaniac who has built
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enormous castles out of air. He actually believes that he is "something"
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in this world. He is also very sensitive for jokes about himselves. Which
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leads us to the story about something called
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THE UTOPIA PHANTASY ELITE BBS
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I am The GNN and I am active in an elite-group. I like the demo-scene
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but I despite the modem-traders. As we know, elite-boards are interesting
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ones to call in psychological research purpouses. The lack of intelligence
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and humor are outstanding and the only messages written are often so-called
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BBS-ads together with "Lamers! Old stuff! CREDZ removed!". The ads
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always contain the same message, preferably "ELEET, HOT WAREZ, BIG HD,
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INCREDIBLE SYSOP". The same BBS-ad could be posted a dozens times a day,
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simply because the sysop BELIVES that everyone will call it then. But I
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find it only to be disturbing. Shocking. Boring.
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I realised that the only way to strike back is to create an OWN BBS-ad!
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So I did, and I terrorized the poor suckers. The birth of the elite board
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UTOPIA PHANTASY and its divine sysop COOLFIX was a fact. Many (too many)
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bought the story and called desperately to the numbers I gave them. After
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a while they understood that they had been fooled and got real angry.
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Ha! You will not belive what some people told me to do with all these ads
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and messages when I told them the truth!
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I enjoyed that circus, from beginning to the end. Now you can read the
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ads that got so many elite-d00dz crazy. Feel free to call the numbers if
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you want, but do not expect to find a HOT'N KEWL ELITE BOARD there.
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Each ad is separated by a "(---)".
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(---)
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It's time to discover what the word BBS really means....
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+=0=0=-=========================================================-=0=0=+
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A cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc\ ccc\ A
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M c THE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .c | c. c | CaLL ThE T
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I cccccccccccccc. ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc | c. c | UtOpiA A
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G \____________c. c\ ________________________\| c. c | PhAntAsy! R
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A ccc\ c. c | ccccccccc\ ccccccccc\ c. c | ccccccccccc\ I
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\ ccc\ c. c | c. c | c. . . . c | c. . . . c | c. c | c. . . . . c | \
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P c. c |c. c | c. c | c. . c | c. . c | c. c | c. . c | M
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C c. c |c. c | c. c | c. . c | c. . . . c | c. c | c. . . . . c | A
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\ c. c |c. c | c. c | c. . c | c. ccccc\ | c. c | c. cccccc. c | C
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S c. cccc. c | c. c | c. . c | c. c\ ____\| c. c | c. c\___c. c | \
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N c. . . . c | c..c | c. . . . c | c. c | c. c | c. c | c. c | N
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E cccccccccc | cccc | cccccccccc | cccc | cccc | cccc | cccc | E
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S \_________\| \___\| \________\| \___\| \___\| \___\| \___\| S
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P-H-A-N-T-A-S_Y P H A N T A S Y P-H-A-N-T-A-S-Y
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sysops: coolfix/billygoat/bapp and reveny! co-sysops: wanted!
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+=0=0=-=========================================================-=0=0=+
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.: OnE TERAbyte ON-LINE! :.
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.: 14 eXA-BYTeS OFF-LINE! (On-Line upon Request!) :.
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All users gets an ratio of 10/1 on FIRST CALL!
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(No LAME validation required!)
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<*> -( O2O-91OO11 )- <*>
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--------------------------------
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(*) AMIGA 3000T (*) 19-nodes Ring-Down! (*) 24 H/DAY (*)
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(*) H/P/A/V/ES/Ca/F/U/C/K/U/P/N/T AREA (*)
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(NOTE: Foreign users call +46-8-7918462 instead, and use FREE CaLLBaCK)
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+=0=0=-================================-=0=0=+
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ChAt with The friendly Sysops and GET: CaLL
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FuckING
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* Virgin Calling-Cards (new every third hour) NXW!
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* VISA GOLD/AMPLEX PLATINA/MASTERCARD DIAMOND
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* Carded stuff for sale at 5% original price
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* Stuff will be carded upon request ...and enjoy!
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* We have hacked axx to many mainframes and
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can offer our users:
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- Payed Phonebill!
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- Free domestic travels!
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- Payed speeding-tickets!
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... and much MUCH more! ..or stay LAME!
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+=0=0=-================================-=0=0=+
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(---)
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...the ultimate bbs...
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U T O P I A
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P H A N T A S Y
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.:Important messages from the sysop:.
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Please all non-57600 baud callers! Almost half of the NINETEEN
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RING-DOWN nodes were OCCUPIED by people who desperately tried
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to connect on *bullshit* rates like 14.4 and 16.8!
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=*= STOP THIS! =*=
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Buy a better modem from us!
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IN STOCK: The *unreleased* 57600 baud USRobotics V82!
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Betaprice: $12000 Our *KARDED* price: $15!
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Features: * MEGA-ASL: Corrects even corrupted files.
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* TeModem Protocol (TERRORMODEM TRANSFER) If the
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file already exists, TeModem
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KILLS it and let you have the
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credz anyway!
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* FakeGuard If you *by mistake* dloads a
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lame FAKE, FakeGuard notices
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it and loudly vomits the
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disk out of the drive.
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* MentholSprayer If your breath happens to be
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a bit sour MentholSprayer
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corrects it.
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Never forget the CHARGE FREE number:
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---) O2O-910011 (---
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Non-Sweden Callers: 08-7918462!
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(---)
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___ ___ __________ ________ ________ ___ ________
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/ / / //__ ___// / \ \\ \\ \
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/ /_/ / / / / / \ ____\\ \\ __ \
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/_______/ /__/ /_______/ \__\ \__\\__\ \__\
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P H A N T A S Y
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SysOp: COOLFIX
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Sweden CAllERS: --) O2O-910011 (-- .:NO CHARGE!:.
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FXREiGN CAllERS: --) +46-8-7918462 (-- .:CALLBACK SYSTEM!:.
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SySTeM: Now 1.5 TeraBytes ON-LINE!
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14 ExABytes OFF-LINE!
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NINETEEN NODEs RING-DOWN! .:AMAZiNG MULTiCHAT!:.
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ULTIMATE KEWL H/P/A/V/ES/T/M/O/L/I/E/S CONFERENCES!
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AMIGA/PC/SNES/ATARI/NES/LUXOR/GAMEBOY/SHARP/VIDEOTRONIC2
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<()> THiS WeeK! <()>
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Call.
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* Carded LASERVIDEO players! Right.
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* $150 each - 250 pieces in stock! Now!
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(Note! ALL NoN-57600 baud callers: Call AFTER MidNight!)
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(---)
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U- T- O- P- I- A- P- H- A- N- T- A- S- Y-
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Important Message from the sysop:
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I got my *NEW* 89 EXA-Byte HD today togheter with a new beta version of
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the 099-TURBO card. However, when I connected them to UTOPIA PHANTASY the
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system accidentaly got aware of its presence and tried to wipe out myself
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and the rest of the world with the power cable. Luckily, it failed. But
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the BBS will be down for a couple of days while I clean up my room and
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rebuild the house... sorry about this guys. I will be more careful next
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time I KARD new hardware!
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/ CoolFix
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(Never forget the CHARGE FREE number *020-910011* Non-Suedes +46-8-7918462)
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(---)
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---) UtOpIa PhAnTaSy (---
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Important message from the sysop:
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Some *FAG* tried to HACK the UTOPA PHANTASY this morning by using a fake
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account with status 255! (everybody that calls UTOPIA PHANTASY gets status
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255 but that is no excuse for violating my system!) However, the naughty
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little fellow were quite surprised when the Automatic Hacker Fucker gave
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him backfire and sent 230 zillons of volts into his keyboard! (Yes, Even
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plastic CAN be made electrical, if you have ENOUGH power!). His lame
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mother then called be up and asked why I had burned her lovley little son
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into a pile of ash. I told her not to interfer in what happens in the
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elite ELITE-SCENE! That made her shut her face.
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So, no more hacks *please*. I hate to obliterate my *BELOVED* users.
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/ CoolFix
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(Never forget the CHARGE FREE number *020-910011* Non-Suedes +46-8-7918462)
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(---)
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_
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|_| T O P I A | H A N T A S Y
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VERY important message from the sysop:
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My sleep is very uncommon these days. It happens a couple of times every
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night that the phone rings and some incredible *LOSER* shouts in my ear.
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The message is always the same: "You lamer! It was fun in the beginning
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with all those BBS-ads and SHIT but now I begin to get tired!". I hear a
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heart-crushing sob and the jerk hangs up. I laugh (It takes a big man to
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cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.) but this is really
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beginning to get on my nerves! I know why some people say things like
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this, it is because they CANNOT CONNECT to *UTOPIA PHANTASY*, since they
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own a *BULLSHIT* modem with the rates 9600, 14400, 16800 or 2400! (Yes,
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even some 2400 lamers tries to call too, with a belief that their
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*WELL-KNOWN* handle will get them EVERYWHERE! Ha! Fuck you! I (and no
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one else) do not care if you have won the UPLOADING COMPETITON at Total
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Suckers BBS!). Buy yourself a *REAL* modem instead of bothering me! Thank
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you.
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/CoolFix
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(Never forget the CHARGE FREE *O2O-91OO11*. Foreigners: +46-8-7918462)
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(---)
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...it is good to do it in a bar...
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>---------------------------------------------------------<
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| ** **** ***** ***** ** ***** |
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| ** ** ****** ******* ** ** ** ** ** |
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| ** ** ** ** ** ******* ** ******* |
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| ******* ** ******* ** ** ** ** |
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| ******* ** ******* ** ** ** ** |
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| P H A N T A S Y |
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>---------------------------------------------------------<
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...it is better to do it in the USSR...
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.:UTOPIA PHANTASY:.
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()() O2O-91OO11 ()()
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(Non-Swedes Callers): ()() +46-8-7918462 ()() Ultimate CallBack
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SysTem!
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(Calls You before You Call!)
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Now Features:
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* Improved H/P/A/Q/W/E/R/T/Y/F/J/LH/G/E/Lc/O/U/%/!/DN/*/|/ area!
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All letters in the English alphabeth welcome!
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* 1152OO Baud Triple (Dual Dual Dual) Non-Standard modem!
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* Free DLoad! Free UPload! Free Logout!
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* 2456 *HAPPY* users from over 3100 countries!
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* Special WHITE ARYAN RESISTANCE area! (White Only!)
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* 29 EXA-Bytes ON-line (on streamer tape).
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* Special BLACK NEGRO RESISTANCE area! (Black Only!)
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(---)
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U T O P I A P H A N T A S Y
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General information from the sysop:
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Some people are having trouble when they try to join conf 65 ("Insane and
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Sick Sexual Positions in HAM/GIF/IFF"). I cannot understand why. Simply
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call the number to *UTOPIA PHANTASY* and wait until your 57600 baud modem
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(you HAVE a 57.6 modem haven't you?!) connects. DO NOT write "n q" at the
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first prompt (after the text about AmiExpress version 60.1 - beta version)
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since that will get you out of the bbs quicker than a rabbit on the
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freeway! If you cannot enjoy my *MASTERPIECES* of ansi art, then call
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another board! *SNORT!*
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After you have CAREFULLY read through the information about me not taking
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*ANY* responsibility for the PIRATE software available here, complete with
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a full copy of what the constitution, the police and the software companies
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has to say about the legal matters - write "ok" at the prompt. No, IT IS
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NOT possible to use ctrl-c and stop the vital information! I do not want
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*ANYONE* to misunderstand or twist the fact about my clean conscience
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concerning pirated stuff! That is why each screen of the text stays 1
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minute on your monitor. Have patience, the whole information show only
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takes about 15 minutes to scan thru.
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Type your HANDLE and GROUP at the next prompt that says "write your
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handle and group". Some people do not get it anyway and writes their real
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names or some other crap. Ha. Write your password. If you have forgotten
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your password, you can login under my name (COOLFIX, passw SECRET) and
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check what you had. Do not look at other peoples passwords. *PLEASE*.
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Remember, we are just a big *HAPPY* family at this bbs. A family that does
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not have to find each others underwear in our tea.
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Now you just have to go through the various bulletins that I have placed
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in the login. It won't take long, it is just All-Time Top Upload, Week-Top
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Upload, Top-login, Top-Logout, Top Callers, Top Non-Callers, Top Upload
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between 5 pm and 4 pm on Sundays, Top Message Posters, Top Message Readers,
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Top Lamers, Top Who's Who?, Top BeerCan Collections, Top Phone-Booth Users
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and Top Top-lists in Sweden.
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Now, about two hours later, you are in the BBS system! So, simply type
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"J 65" to join area 65! It cannot *BE* easier!
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/ CoolFix
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(Never forget the CHARGE FREE number..eh? It seem to have slipped my mind.)
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(---)
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.:LooK at THIS:. .:Todays Universe First Imports!:.
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Alien IV - Monastery
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SexGames1993 - Sid Crow
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Return of The Clone 2 - (Jesus) Christal
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Remal Love - Demo by Fed up Sector
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call utopia phantasy and dowload all of this
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sysop coolfix
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swedes 020-910011
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others +46-8-7918462
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__________
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the /| ________ /________ \ _ ______
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/ |/__ __/____ ___\ \/ |/ _ \
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/| | | | | / \ / ____/| || / \ | I rather be rich
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/ | | | | | | /\ | | / | || \_/ | than stupid
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| \___/ | | | | \/ | | | | || ___ | - Jack Handey
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\______/ \_| \____/ \_| \_|\| \_|
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P H A N T A S Y
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(---)
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___
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( ) (___)
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\__/ T O P I A \ H A N T A S Y
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BUSTED!
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This is unfortunately true... I got a phonecall to my work this
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afternoon from my neighbour who wondered why there was a dozen of heavily
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armed tanks outside my house. At first I thought it was a joke but when he
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claimed that a tall guy dressed in the latest body-armour fashion screamed
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"Coolfix, you have ten seconds to leave the house" every fift minute I
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understood that it was about *UTOPIA PHANTASY* the little intermezzo was
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all about.
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I got in my car and drove the five-hundred metres to my house and found
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the scene to be exactly as I had believed it was. A couple of hundred
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soldiers were hiding themselves behind the tanks in front of my house while
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someone screamed that I should come out quickly, otherwize they would open
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my front door with a missile. I would not let that happen, it might have
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destroyed my collection of rare joysticks.
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So, I raised my voice and got their attention of my present location,
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behind them. After a few 7.62 shots had been fired against me from nervous
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*JERKS* I was brutaly thrown into a vehicle made out of steel and driven to
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the central police station in a speed that made the sun go slower on the
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sky. The interrogation (complete with electrical shockers and alligator
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clips) took about thirty hours during which I only told them that I was
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innocent. The BBS had jumped into my room and connected itself to my
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NINETEEN NODE RINGDOWN system. They also wondered who had been responsible
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for KARDING more computer hardware than is produced in the whole world and
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I simply told them: "No idea! I have not the slightest clue why all these
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packages with advanced computer hardware was sent to me. I thought it was
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christmass gifts from USRobotics. I know that my bank account includes
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more money than usual ($95000000 to be exact) but you *just have to believe
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|
me* on this! The reason why I own five different VISA-cards with status
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'U.S.President' is because I am a collector of VISA and MC material. Like
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Coke-bottles, you know."
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They bought the story but confiscated the hardware. All of my 98
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exabytes harddrives, my 0679 turbo-card and the A5000++. Which leaves us
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with the sad fact that EVEN LEGENDS HAVE TO DIE! *UTOPIA PHANTASY* is
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closed forever.
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/ CoolFix
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(Just forget the CHARGE FREE number will you?)
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(end)
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//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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Call a BBS that acually exists! They are rare and uncommon these days!
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Non-Elite: SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-43766
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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Our president may be old, but at least he's not dead.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Underground eXperts United 1993
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Call THE STASH -> +46-13-175042
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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