138 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
138 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### #### ### ### ### ####
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### ### ##### ### ###
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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### ###
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### #######
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
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#### ## ## #### # # ## ## ## ## ##
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
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## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ## #######
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[ A Joke for VMS-Users ] [ By Ralph 124C41+ ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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A joke for VMS-users
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--------------------
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by Ralph 124C41+ of PowerDrive
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This is a little practical joke we have used a few times at my school when
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somebody forgot to log out (a quite common thing among pupils who aren't
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too experienced with computers). I think it could be quite fun for you to
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try it out if you have the possibility to do so.
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What it does is in short, is that it redefines almost every command to run
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a COM-file. What you put in that file is up to you. In this example we simply
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write the message "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that", but you can
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change it as much as your imagination allow. A good idea is to have
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$ WRITE SYS$OUTPUT F$MESS(%X <number>)
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where <number> is a number. This writes a system error message, this is good
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fun and can keep an inexperienced user in confusion for a very long time. Even
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teachers have been fooled by this. Some good numbers to try is 360, 350, 290,
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230 and 120. A nasty one is 0, which means that the program exited without an
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error. That's *very* confusing! He he he...
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Anyway, here come the files, just cut where marked and there shouldn't be a
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problem. The first file is to replace LOGIN.COM and the you should name the
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second LOG1.COM. If you want to be more advanced, you can have several files to
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produce different messages. The LOGIN.COM redefines the most common commands on
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our system, yours will probably be different but it's a good start.
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---------------------------------< CUT HERE >-----------------------------------
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$! LOGIN.COM for VMS joke.
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$
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!
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$ edt :== @log1
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$ cop*y :== @log1
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$ am*is :== @log1
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$ hel*p :== @log1
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$ dir*ectory :== @log1
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$ set :== @log1
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$ sh*ow :== @log1
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$ def*ine :== @log1
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$ cre*ate :== @log1
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$ typ*e :== @log1
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$ ed*it :== @log1
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$ mai*l :== @log1
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$ pho*ne :== @log1
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$ ass*ign :== @log1
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$ conn*ect :== @log1
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$ cont*inue :== @log1
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$ del*ete :== @log1
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$ rena*me :== @log1
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$ pu*rge :== @log1
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$ li*nk :== @log1
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$ bas*ic :== @log1
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$ pas*cal :== @log1
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$ for*tran :== @log1
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$ req*uest :== @log1
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$ pr*int :== @log1
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$ ru*n :== @log1
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$ mes*sage :== @log1
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$ mer*ge :== @log1
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$ inq*uire :== @log1
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$ ini*tialize :== @log1
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$ mon*itor :== @log1
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$ exit
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---------------------------------< CUT HERE >-----------------------------------
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Here follows the file that is the actual joke. If you don't like this you can
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change it to do whatever you like but I think this is good fun, at least if you
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have seen 2001...
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---------------------------------< CUT HERE >-----------------------------------
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$! LOG1.COM
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$
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$ WRITE SYS$OUTPUT ""
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$ WRITE SYS$OUTPUT " I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
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$ WRITE SYS$OUTPUT ""
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$ EXIT
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---------------------------------< CUT HERE >-----------------------------------
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One problem is how you are going to copy the files from your account to the
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one you are about to joke with. One idea would be to
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$SET PROT=(W:RWED) <user>.DIR
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or perhaps use the ACL and then copy the files over. But this is not a very
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good idea, it can be traced and that's not what we want! It's much better to
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mail it, like this (from your account)
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$MAIL LOG.COM <user>
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$MAIL LOG1.COM <user>
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Then the files will be mailed to the user so you just can enter mail, read the
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message and
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Mail>EXTRACT LOGIN.COM
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Mail>DELETE
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It's important to delete the message because otherwise it's quite obvious who
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pulled the joke. Then you just edit the files to remove the header, remember to
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PURGE and everything is set.
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And that's about it. Have a fun life and remember: keep cool, if you can't be
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cool, be cold.
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______________________________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________________________
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