101 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
101 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
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Underground Legion of Terroristic Research Activists
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Sinister X --- Agent Cyclone --- Drug Lord
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Ultra File #6 March 22, 1991
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Become a Quick-Change Artist - written by Drug Lord
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----------------------------
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Many people are looking for easy ways to make money, and this way seems to
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be one of the easiest. All it takes is a little intelligence, some simple
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math skills, and the ability to bullshit out of a bad situation.
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There are a few different ways to approach this method or ripoff schemes,
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so I will explain a few of them and let you choose whichever suits you best.
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There is quite a bit of risk involved in this, so how much you prepare for it
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depends on how badly you want to get busted.
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The best places are grocery stores or other lame stores such as K-Mart or
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Wal-Mart. There are a few things that you should test for so that you can get
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to know what the store is like and what the employees are like. Do these
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things a few days before you ever start trying this. Go through a line and
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see if they will give you change for a $5 bill. Just ask for five ones or
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something. This way you can see what they have to do to open their drawer.
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Some registers require a supervisor's key in order to make change. This way
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you will know whether or not a manager will be called when you are making your
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move.
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Look for new employees. Find ones that are 1-2 weeks old and don't know much
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about everything going on. This isn't necessary, it is just a step in your
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favor. Now that you know all this, you are ready to bullshit your way into
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making some extra dough.
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First write a phone number on one side of a $20 bill. It doesn't really matter
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which side it is on, but you might want to just put it on the back because
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bills are placed face up in a cash register. Buy a few inexpensive items in
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the store. Try to get them to total an odd amount such as $3.71 or $4.29 so
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that the numbers aren't easily calculated. Now go to a lane with lots of people
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and one that moves generally fast (ie: express lane). The people and the speed
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of the lane will put the extra pressure on the cashier to hurry up so that they
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can continue which helps add to the confusion.
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Now for the kill. After the cashier rings your order up, hand him the $20 bill
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with the phone number on it. After they give you your change back, get a
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dumb expression on your face (this is generally the easy part). Tell him that
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there is a phone number on the back of the $20 bill that you need to see.
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After he hands you the $20 then give him a $5 bill and ask for 4 singles and
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change for a dollar for the Coke machine outside, or the newspaper machine, or
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whatever. Now he is worried about giving you the correct change, and isn't
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concentrating on the $20 he gave you back. After this it is just general
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bullshit. You can ask him what time they close, or where some place is that
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you really know is like next door. Apologize for the inconvenience and leave.
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Don't seemed rushed to get out the door. The other people in line will be
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bitching enough, therefore putting pressure on the cashier to hurry the fuck
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up before they complain.
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Added notes ---
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It would also help if you had an accomplice. It seems pretty stupid to say
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this, but here it goes anyway for the dumb asses that might fuck it up. Don't
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talk to this accomplice and don't let anyone know you are together. Get about
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one order apart so that your accomplice is behind the customer behind you.
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While the cashier is fooling around with giving you the correct change, this
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person can say something like "Hurry up, I'm late for work!" or other things
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that might speed it along.
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Added bonus ---
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A cheap way of short changing is to have an accomplice in front of you buy
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something, give the cashier a $20 bill (phone number on the back) and then
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leave as normal. Then, when you go to pay for your order you give them a $5
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bill and then when they give you the change you tell them that you gave them
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a $20 bill because you can prove it....and then recite the phone number on the
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back of the $20 bill for them. This usually works. That way you make an easy
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$15.
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Be sure you remember the phone number on the back. Also make sure the number
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is local to you and would sound logical. And of course, if the fucking manager
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gets called, then just bullshit your way out by giving a sob story about that
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being the $20 bill that your girlfriend wrote her number on when you all
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started going out, and it has sentimental value.
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===============================================================================
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Just wanted to say "hey" to Sinister X and Agent Cyclone. I told you I would
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get to writing the files. Be sure to look for more ULTRA files. Their new,
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up-to-date....and ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
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--- Drug Lord
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U.L.T.R.A.
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