71 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
71 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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How to Terrorize a Car by Agent Cyclone / Ultra 07-March-1991
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Why terrorize a car?
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In America, the car has become a symbol of freedom. This has come to represent
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breaking away, the open road, and speed. So when one asks, "Why terrorize a
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car?", the answer seem quite obvious. If you antagonize a car, or destroy it,
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you help to destroy someone's freedom. Of course, the obvious reason for this
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action would be to simply piss someone off. Some of these steps will help you
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accomplish one, if not both, of these objectives.
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When, and where to terrorize?
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I suggest that the best time to play with a car would be from dusk to about
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10:00 P.M. Now you are saying, "What a suprise." Well, obviously, you want
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some night cover, but you don't want to look too suspicious.
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I used to believe that mall parking lots were good for this, if you knew who's
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car you wanted to hit, but the increase of mall security in my area has led me
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to believe otherwise. I find it quite easy when the car is parked in an alley,
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or on a back street. This is a judgement call, you decide. Just don't do it in
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broad daylight next to a retirement home.
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What to do to the car?
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There are thousands of thing you can do, just use your imagination. This is a
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list of some of my favorites. They range from pissing someone off, to doing
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some major damage. I avoided mentioning the obvious (slashing tires, removing
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distributor caps) because I think most of us know how to do that.
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Rocks in the hubcap - This works on older cars with the pop-off caps. Take the
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cap off, and put in a few rocks. Whenever the person drives around, they will
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here noise. It will drive them nuts trying to figure out what is wrong. "Gee,
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is that my transmission?"
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Superglue Locks - Just like it sounds. Take some superglue and fill all the
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locks in with it. By the time the owner gets to his/her car, they won't be able
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to get in it.
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Brake Fluid - If you have time, you can let the brake fluid drain out. Just
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find out where the resevoir is, and let it drain. After a few times of pumping
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the brake, they won't have any. Then they will have to learn about strategic
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down-shifting. Make sure it is not a disc-brake car!
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Loosen Lug-Nuts - On many economy cars today, these are exposed. Just loosen
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them until they just sit on the lug. Then after a few tire rotations, that
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baby is free to go where it wants to.
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Muffler Clogging - This technique, made famous by Beverly Hills Cop, works
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better with a large wad of paper towels rather than bananas. I have found it
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is more effective on the women drivers. It seems they are less inclined to
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look at their tailpipes than their male counterparts.
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Of course, there are a thousand more. If you have any ideas, let me know. I
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can be contacted at Blitzkreig (502)499-8933.
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Disclaimer: This is for informational purposes only. If one acts upon this
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information, they do so under their own risk.
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Agent Cyclone / ULTRA productions
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