148 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
148 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
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|| T.Y.M.E. - Twisted Young Minds Expand || #22, by v<>r<EFBFBD>s || 10/22/94 ||
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On the Road Again...
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Well, for the past two days, I've been working with my father. Yay. I
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have been trying to pay off the phone bill my BBSing likes to rack up. So
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here i am, at 5:30 in the morning, freezing my ass off, on the floor of my
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grandparents living room, half out of my sleeping bag, and my grandfather
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comes in cheerily and says 'Time to get up!'
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(Under my breath 'bite me')
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'C'mon, you and your father have a big day ahead of you!'
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('Yeah, twelve and a half hours of work. Great weekend.')
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So he drags my dad out of bed next, and slams out a pot of coffee in about
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two minutes. Amazing. The only person I ever saw do it that fast was myself,
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when my dad would wake up looking like a bear and smelling like a horse.
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BAM. Out came the coffee. But anyway..
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Driving to the swim meet (they start VERY early), we almost got lost once,
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and then the goddamn idiots at the pool decided to lock the gate so we
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couldn't get in and get our shit together. So we wait. I am staring out the
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window trying NOT to fall asleep, and Dad falls asleep. SNOOOOOORE... comes
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out of the lump of flesh on the seat beside me.
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Car drives up. Parks next to us. TAP TAP TAP on the window I go. 'Dad!
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Get up! Guys here with the key!' So we get in, set up, and of course the
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entire fucking competition doesn't start until an hour afterwards. Bleh.
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This world sucks. So here I am, waiting on picky people, fumbling with loose
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change some godforesaken lady dropped and blamed it on me, all the while
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muttering under my breath 'She ain't worth the trouble, she ain't worth the
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trouble...' waiting on some chick that asks us to hang on to two hundred
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bucks worth of shit, and then she comes back with two dollars and says 'This
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is all my mom would give me. Argh. So i go back and put every little piece
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of shit she dragged out BACK on the rack for the next 13 year old with no
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tits to grab. (I swear, all these swimmers have NO tits whatsoever <Girls,
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not meant to offend, just an observation.>)
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So here I am, hanging swimsuits, and this lady comes up and starts yelling
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at me. 'I THINK YOU OVERCHARGED MY DAUGHTER ON HER GIFT CERTIFICATE.' Who,
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me? Not likely. I avoid helping people like the plague. If i do, i pretend
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they have no faces. The old people make me want to puke, the little kids
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make me want to pick them up and choke the shit out of them, and the hella
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fine (i think there were TWO of these) chicks i tried not to stare at until
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they turned around and i could see their butts. (No tits, remember?)
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So i direct the whiny old bat to my father, and watch as the (poor? nah.)
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man tried to cope with the shit. He totals everything up again, and finds
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he DID miscount, and was a whole six cents off. At this, the damn lady takes
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her stuff, says, 'oh i'm SOOO sorry. My mistake' and flounces off only to
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crash into this skater chick that most likely would have bashed her face in,
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except she prolly didn't want to get thrown out.
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God. I get to three thirty, suriving on soda and trips to the pisser, and
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then as soon as i am SO glad to get the fuck out of there, a bunch of little
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six and seven year olds came barreling at the van where all are stuff was
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DEMANDED i drag out the t-shirt.
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SLAM (the trunk door). 'Fuck you. Come back tomorrow.' Girls go whining
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off to thier coach, and fortunatly Dad peels out before the irate muther-
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fukker comes back to complain about his crying swimmer who prolly won't
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place in her event blah blah blah...
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I'm probably gonna catch it from him tomorrow...
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So we drive to Grandma and Granddad's house. Takes a half hour. Immediatly
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switch cars and drive to see GREAT Grandma who had a stroke recently. So we
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sit and talk and i'm happy to leave and then the FATTEST FUCKING MUTT comes
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running at me and almost knocks me over. Looked like the fat fuck had
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swallowed three cats. Tigers, maybe.
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Get back, eat dinner, help Grandaddy set up his new USR14.4 etc. etc, and
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he reveals he spent an hour with his computer genius friend trying to get it
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to work. Turns out it was his friends fault for not setting up his damned
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modem correctly the first time. So i talk Granddad through it, tells him
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to tell the other dude, and climb into the shower.
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Came back out, and started this text. Great day, huh? I bet tomorrow will
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be even better. Mom is recovering from my little sister slumber party. I bet
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she'll take her bad mood out on me.
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I can't wait until I move out.
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Day Two
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God damn mutherfukking dingdong shiteatin crockpot of dogshit. I HATE
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these weekends! Get up at 5:45 AGAIN. Lay there until dad comes in and flips
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on the light. Don't you hate it when parents do that? You can't see with the
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light on, so you leave it off and walk easily through the dark, and someone
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comes in an turns on the light. Argh. So i get back up to turn on the light,
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and i trip over my shoe and slam my face into the computer. Ow. So i get
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dressed and step outside to meet with my dick falling off from the cold.
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Get in the car. Pull out.
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'Did you get the sleeping bag?'
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'I thought YOU got the sleeping bag.'
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Drive back, get it, waking up Grandad and pissing him off... Yay.
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Get to the meet. Set up. Wait on bitchy people until i figure, 'Fuck this'
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and walk outside so that i can go to the comic shop and check out more Magic
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cards. (I'm back in the game, BTW..) Get back, pretend i haven't bought any-
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thing and get dad to spend another twelve bucks on the game. I got chicks
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staring at my hair all damn day, and a few commenting. One, the one who
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holds everything and buys nothing, comes up and stares me in the eyes for a
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full minute, and then walks off laughing. Damn people.
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Fine chick with tits (ohmigod one has TITS) comes up and comments on my
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hair. (ask power rat about that one.) Another comes up and stares me in the
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face for a full minute before walking off laughing. Damn fool.
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I am helping a kid figure out with fifty cents plus fifty cents equals,
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and this hella fine CHICK WAS MASSIVE KNOCKERS (don't meam to be sexist or
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anything, just letting out my thoughts on phosphorous) comes up and wants
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to buy a swimsuit. Nice skimpy one, too. So she pulls off her sweatshirt,
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revealing the competition swimsuit she has underneath, and one part comes
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away from her chest at the same time. Nice View! Damn! So Dad walks up RIGHT
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then and wants me to help some whiny old fart bitch who wants to buy a $70
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swimsuit with a credit card! Argh. Talk about disappointments...
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So I'm helping this old bat and she comes up with this to say:
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'WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DON'T CHARGE ME TAX YOU ALREADY CHARGED TAX! (i had
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fucked up and had to start over on the calculator) OH WAIT, DO YOU KNOW
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WHAT I HAVE A GIFT CERTIFICATE! CAN I USE THIS (without waiting for an
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awnser) OH GOOD WELL THEN I WILL USE THIS THEN... WHAT ARE YOU DOING??'
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(enter fiction)
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'Shutup you stupid bitch! i'm doing this as fast as i can, and with you
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nagging me like you're my mother DOESN'T make it any faster!'
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(exit fiction)
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(enter reality)
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'Yes, ma'am,' I mumble, seething underneath. Damn broad starts complaining
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and then Dad walks up. (Thank God) 'Can i help with something?'
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So he walks me through something i would have already been done with if it
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weren't for that naggy whore, and I wander off to take out my frustration
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with this cunt on a locker in the locker room.
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Got home.. listened to my little sister brag about her new CD player.
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Get pissed off. Walk into parents room : 'So how come she gets a new CD
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player and you can't get enough to fix mine?'
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Stupid little tramp gets a $250 system and my parents are too cheap to
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fix mine, which has been broken for six months.
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Argh.
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I can't wait to move out.
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v<>r<EFBFBD>s
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=============================================================================
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|| Look for T.Y.M.E. on any of the follwing boards: (and get them all! =] ||
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=============================================================================
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|| Under The Influence...........(ALM)OST-HERE.............World HQ....... ||
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|| Narkotik Illusions............(303)PRI-VATE.............Midwestern HQ.. ||
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|| Exodus BBS....................(707)935-6867.............Distro Site.... ||
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|| Electric Rush (NuP)...........(707)257-7208.............Distro Site.... ||
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|| Leave comments, death threats, ideas to vYrus/napavalley@nova.fred.org ||
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|| 'Life is an Illusion, Death is Reality' ||
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