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textfiles/magazines/TOXICSHOCK/ts-050.txt

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[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]
====
========
============
================
====================
========================
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===========================
=============================== The moment
=================================== We've all been waiting
======================== ========== For.
==================== ==========
================ ========== Yes, it is here.
============ ==========
======== ========== The defecation
==== ========== Has been spread about.
==========
========== Fetus Yet Lives.
==========
========== ..... . . ...... ....
========== ::::::: :: :: :::::: ::::::
========== :: :: :::: :: ::
========== ::...:: .::::. ..::.. ::....
========== ::::: :: :: :::::: :::::
==========
==========
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
____________============::___________________Wakka-wakka June Bug.____________
_________==================::_________________________________________________
________=======::_____=======::____Awaken from darkness and experience the____
________=======::________===::____________________Anarchy.____________________
_________=======::_________________________Mooch my white ass if you__________
___________========::________________do not bask in the Splendor of Fetus.____
_____________=========::______________________________________________________
_______________==========::______===::________________________===::___________
__________________=========::____===::________________________===::__==::_____
_____________________========::__===::________________________===::_==::______
__________===::_________======::_=======::___====::___====::__=======::_______
_________=======::____======::___========::_==::==::_==::==::_===::_==::______
___________===============::_____===::_==::_==::==::_==::____ ===::__==::_____
_____________===========::_______===::_==::__====::___====::_ ===::___==::____
______________________________________________________________________________
Kind of blinding? Well for those of you with quadfocals, that's "Shock".
Toxic Shock. Toxic Fucking Shock. Has a nice ring to it. It's also safe for
the environment.
And for those of us who prefer the traditional:
.
.:::::. .::::::::.
...:::::::::... ::::::::::::
..:::::::::::::::::.. ::::: ::::
.::: ::::::: :::. :::::. :
:: ::::: :: :::::::.
: ::: : :::::::::.
::: ::::::::
::: :::::
::::: : ::::
::::: oxic :::......:::: hock
.:::::::. :::::::::::
::::::::::: :::::::::
We can only be reached at one and only one place and time:
Centre of Eternity
615/552.5747
Odd punctuation.
40 megs, lots of files.
HEADQUARTERS OF TOXIC SHOCK.
Also scream into:
Tudor Nightmare Village
615.928.6071
3/1200 baud
Now piss off! Let's finish this humongous intro to the file itself!
@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@
@ @@ @@ @@
@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ @@ Yes, the @ symbol stands
@ @@ @@ @@ for a curly pile of
@@@@@@@@ @@ @@ @@ Dog Excrement
@@@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@@ New and improved!
@@ @@ @@ @@ @@@
@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ Economy-Sized!
@@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @
@@@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@@@
Tastes great!
@@@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@ Less filling!
@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@
@@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@
@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@ Put on pounds but
@ @@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @ keep away the calories!
@@ @@@ @@ @@ @@ @@
@@@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@@@ @@ @ It's MMM MMM GOOD!
(Kinda like Roach Juice)
AND LIKE IT!
_ _ //
((______)) //
\ / No. It's not a goat head. // Mr. Ed Lives.
\ / It's my dog Biff with //
\ / curly ears. // He has his own TV series.
\/ //
// They call it The Arsenio Hall Show.
//
_____________________________________________________________________________
| _________________________________________________________________________ |
| | | |
| | ATTENTION K-MART SHOOPERS: | |
| | | |
| | THERE IS A BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL IN THE MAXI PAD DEPARTMENT. | |
| | | |
| | AND NOW FOR THE 1990 PMS AWARD-WINNING | |
| | | |
| | *)> FEATURE PRESENTATION <(* | |
| |_________________________________________________________________________| |
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
Toxic Shock's 50th File
TOXIC SHOCK'S 50TH FILE
I can't get any fucking louder
To proclaim our enlightening call from Fetus
(Actually I can but you don't deserve it.)
MEET THE TOXINS
Toxic File: #50
Written by Gross Genitalia, with help from
Fetal Juice and Bloody Afterbirth.
Title (the preceding 7747 bytes of humongous bullshit) by Gross Genitalia.
Blame it all on him.
Also compiled by Gross Genitalia.
Hey, blame it all on him.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
((____))((____))((____))((____))((____))((____))((____))((____))((____))
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Well, in case you haven't guessed it already, this is the Toxic Shock
number 50 file! Whoopie shit! Why the big deal about #50? What's so special?
Nothing. Absofuckinglutely nothing. Just felt like causing a big commotion.
Fetus has inspired us all. Sit back, grab a glass of afterbirth beer, and enjoy
the file. It is a conglomeration of works done by Gross Genitalia and the other
Toxins for the occasion, and they go in no particular order. Quite a bit of
time and work have gone into this, so hail to Fetus and rejoice in manual
abortion.
Since Toxic Shock was called together by Fetus Almighty in mid-fall of
1989, we have produced approximately 54 files. And yes, that means that
this file was released after file 54. What the fuck do we care. King Diamond
of Centre of Eternity kept the #50 slot open for us so we filled it with a
short message for all of you.
Toxic Shock officially started with 5 members. There were the current three
plus Tasty Abortion and Twisted Testicles. Prior to file #16 or so you will
find some works by these two, and they are listed as Followers of Fetus. Due
to inter-group "differences", and complete lack of contribution, they were
removed with little hope of returning. But that's of no consequence, and none
of your business, so let's move along.
We've made all the introduction we need to, so without further bullshit of
introduction, we'll head into the material of the file. FINALLY!
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Toxic Greets go out to: King Diamond, Highlander, Mephisto, Phoenix, Cronus,
Greystorm, Badger, Awesome Bill, Ogg-Man, Prophets of Cow, The Dirts of
COE, The Dirts of TNV, and all the Anarchist Nonconformists in the
audience.
Oh SHIT! Toxic Shock made GREETS! Whew! Glad that's over with. Shit.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
.
.:::. .::::::.
..:::::::.. ::::::::::
..:::::::::::::.. :::: :::: TS Presents:
.::: ::::::: :::. ::::. :
:: ::::: :: ::::::.
: ::: : :::::::. Proclamation of Fetus
::: :::::::
::: :::::: A Segment of
::::: : :::: Toxic File #50
::::: oxic :::.....:::: hock
.:::::::. ::::::::::
::::::::::: ::::::::
There stood yonder on the Mount of Seminal Fluid three of a group of powers.
These were the three destined to be proclaimed the Followers of Three by the
entity himself.
And lo Fetus Almighty sent down a bolt of lighting which did shake the ground
about, and thunder rumbled throughout the heavens. The voice of Fetus boomed
with awesome power among the Three of the Mount.
"O yonder three, ye stand in mighty power. Since my victory over Coathanger
the Aborter, I have sought for those of wisdom and power to carry out my
humble creed. Go, you three, unto all nations and oversee the abortion of
fetuses, and by my call bring them to me so they might serve me."
The three hailed the voice, and went among nations of men. They performed
manual abortions on pregnated women. The fetuses were yet taken to Fetus
Almighty, and in splendor and virtue they were cast back among men to eat
human flesh and brains and entrails all as delicacy in the Eyes of Fetus and
of The Three Followers.
And Fetus the Destroyer and Almighty Aborter proclaimed that These Three be
diefied, and made Followers of Fetus. Their Names of Men were discarded away
into the darkness, and new titles were assumed.
And lo the first to step forward to the Womb of Fetus possessed a golden
flask of blood-laden liquid. He cast it forth on the ground before Fetus,
and Fetus spoke.
"O my faithful follower, you have shown well. Go now, and assume a name of
proud, a name of Bloody Afterbirth."
The next to walk before the Mighty Fetus held in his hands the torn genitals
of Man. He laid them down on a sheet of gold in front of Fetus. "Very well
My Follower. Thou shalt return to thy service, dubbed Gross Genitalia."
The third of the Followers stepped up to Fetus. He carried in his unearthly
hands an entire Womb of Woman. Within could be seen a fetus. The Follower
cast the womb down at the feet of fetus, and it splattered. The fetus was
absorbed into the Body of Fetus. The amniotic fluid exploded into a bright
vivid array of colors, and they shone brightly upon the face of the Follower.
"Ah, my faithful one. The amniotic fluid of the Womb which thy carried have
pleased me greatly. Go now, Fetal Juice, and return to earth."
As the Follower was pulled through a tunnel of light he heard the sounds of
a movie theatre, and the sounds which did he hear were "Fetal Juice
Fetal Juice Fetal Juice!"
With this the Follower dubbed Fetal Juice spun around and out from the tunnel
of Fetal Light and stood in the attic of an old house. His work would continue
by haunting the soul of a dead pregnant woman. He was destined to take the
immortal fetus and sacrifice it to Fetus, and Fetus would yet keep it as a
reserve Follower, for when another was chosen for the Call of Follower, so
would existence be through this immortal deity.
And lo the Followers of Fetus did have sovreignity over the fetuses of the
Earth.
The Proclamation of Fetus shall be with thee always. So be it.
(c)1990. A transcription of the Words of Fetus.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Ever notice as you drive down the interstate there's a bunch of trashbags at
the side of the road, or partially IN the road? So many people dump bags full
of trash, especially leaves, grass clippings, and other foliage, just off on
the side of the road. Most people brush by these with no other thought.
But have you ever thrown a trashbag out onto the road, filled with a cinder
block or two? And like, sat around and watch some innocent soul drive along
and HIT IT, assuming it to be a bag of trash? And like, their whole fucking
transmission gets RIPPED OUT and strewn all over the road?
Don't assume anything.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
SPLENDOR OF THE MEADOW
By Gross Genitalia
----------------------
The beauty is abound
In the purplish haze
The mist settles gently
In these joyous days.
A bird flys ahead
To the north and then some
And communist leaders
Lick truckloads of cum.
The flowers are blooming
There is not a care
And a wild jackrabbit
Nibbles on pubic hair.
The dew-laden grass rises
In a meadow of splendor
In view of a pussy
So dripping and tender.
Sun rising to the sky
The babbling brook laughed
As a fox with a grin sat
On George Bush's shaft.
When life springs abound
With much sound to be made
The male species hunt
Longing to get laid.
A hill protrudes eastward
A large marvelous mass
A mural of enormity
Like Barbara Bush's ass.
The nights are so peaceful
The days are like heaven
I'll pick up a condom
At the 7-11.
A great work of craftsmanship
Like a stained-glass door
A person could sleep peacefully
With a bedraggled whore.
With nothing but perfect
The countryside lit
I look at this splendor
And don't give a shit.
(c)April 25, 1990. By Gross Genitalia
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
I thought it only fitting and proper to have a short autobiography of myself
here, at least, a somewhat TRUE autobiography. Every good thing deserves a
little bullshit.
Profile: Gross Genitalia
========================
Hello assholes. I don't think it's any concern how old I am, what I look
like, where I've attended schools and shit. I rarely do dope and drink
occasionally. You couldn't guess that from my personality I suppose. Family?
They've fucked my life up. I have a sister that I think has helped me greatly
and kept me fucked (no, get your minds out of the gutter loser perverts!),
but Bloody Afterbirth practically hates her.
I really haven't been so damned demented until I met Fetal Juice and Bloody
Afterbirth. I suppose those talks with Bloody for 6 to 7 hours straight, up
to 4:45 (remember that one?) in the morning have warped my mind a little bit.
I don't really think it's proper to get too personal about anything, that
takes away from the spice and keeps yer ass hanging, like a turd hanging from
a baby's ass. Heh heh...
I like everything from metal to punk to alternative... I hate pop rock and
I will personally rip the scrawny balls off every member of New Fags on the
Cock, or New Queers on the Rocks, or however you choose to call them. I hate
them and they better look out for me and I imagine Bloody and Fetal Juice too,
we're going to kill all of those high-pitched fags who have no manhood waiting
for them.
I hold a personal taste for Enya. Go out and buy the tape. "Orinoco Flow" is
a fucking awesome song. I swear it must conatin subliminals. Nice stuff to cool
off with. Ever heard the Ozark Mountain Daredevils? Good group. "Jackie Blue"
is a killer song.
I have found an excellent drink mixer is to take a big glass of Daire
lemonade (you know, the shit in a carton), add about 1/4 as much,
proportionally, of Realemon (the ONLY kind!) lemon juice, and a tablespoon and
a half of sugar. You must have everything in proportion, and keep adding lemon
juice until the shit really bites ya when you swallow it. Once you've got a
good mix, add as much vodka, PGA, Bacardi, and Toxinade (see the recipe in this
file) as you want. Got lemon schnapps? Throw some in... just a little added
touch from my gourmet self!
Bud and maybe Michelob Dry are the only things I'll touch today, because
I think beer sucks to begin with. I hate wanna-be teenagers who think it's
something to get some beers from big brother and go get buzzed on a Friday
night. Either go for the hard shit and get totally fucking wasted (but no
puke-and-passout, that's bullshit) or else stay home and whack off to a
Care Bears Movie.
I am personally sick of hearing people praise the IBM computer family.
FUCK YOU COMMUNIST BASTARDS! Sure they're okay game machines, but stay your
arrogant noses outta my way and quit telling me to "go IBM". Fuck you, I'll do
whatever in the FUCK I please. I have an Apple //e with 512k of memory and a 40
meg hard drive. I'm satisfied with what it does damnit. Wouldn't mind having an
Amiga 3000 with about a 4 gig drive but what the fuck, I've got what I've got
and I'm proud.
In this area only Pizza Hut and Little Caesar's have the decent pizza.
There's a few local joints that have some pretty decent pizza and food and
shit but Pizza Hut Cheese Lovers with Beef, nothing else, is very damned good.
Little Caesars is okay but last time I ate there I got so fucking sick I had
to write a sick file to go along with it, can't remember which one.
Only electronics-related job I've had was at a computer store which went
fucking bankrupt, leaving me out of work, but I did manage to pull out
several pieces of equipment and software, and this Apple //e right here, a
complete system. How's that for efficiency?
I mingle in pyrotechnics a little, nothing really major. I usually get
my shit by the five-finger discount method from college chem labs. I recently
acquired some zinc dust and a shitload of iodine crystals. Made some really
good ammonium tri-iodide crystals yesterday. Think I'm gonna give some to
innocent school-children to go and do some minor anarchy work in our local
fascist school system. I have acquired a rather extensive array of lab
equipment from one of the local schools by a similar method described above.
I call Centre of Eternity regularly (I can afford calls always, know what I
mean?!), although not too often do you see me as Gross Genitalia. Hidden
identity has a thing with me. Same goes for the other members. COE stocks all
the Toxic Shock files and they appear there first, as it is our HQ.
There's not much more to say to you lumps of shitty mummified roadkill
juice, other than have a rotten fucking day and see you on COE! That's the only
place you can get ahold of me so until then, piss off!
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
. .....
.:::::. .:::::::::. Toxic Fucking Shock Presents
.:::::::::::::. :::: ::::
::: ::::: ::: ::::: :
: ::: : :::::: "I Ponder This State"
::: ::::::
::: : ::::: A Segment of
::: :::....::::: File #50
.:::::. :::::::::
::::::: ::::::: By Gross Genitalia
I sit here and wonder how it would be if chaos ran rampant. We could dine
on afterbirth and fetus soup, and perform oral abortions. How excellent it
would be if we owned powerful machine guns and grenade launchers, and could
blow the fuck out of every loser on every board, making a global effort to
annihilate the schmoos. Wouldn't it be fun to rip the flesh off fetal pigs,
and set goat's milk on fire on top of a flaming dog?
And all the while, I wonder what it would be like to run butt-naked down a
long street everyday, shouting obscenities and blowing mailboxes away with
machine-gun BB gun? Or what it would be like to rape the most beautiful
bitch you see in the mall, on a bench in front of Sears? I ponder these things,
and enjoy the pleasure which they bring.
I often contemplate taking a long black dildo and ramming it up some fine
bitch's ass, ramming it in and out, pushing her to pain and ecstacy, her
hands bonded to a wall and her feet likewise, and practice sadism and
masochism. I would then throw her on a waterbed, find her G spot, and give it
to her good. Oh! At the pleasure she would get! The bitch would be more than
willing to do whatever I asked, and the bitch would become my slave. She'd do
all the housework and most of all, she'd be my sex slave and we'd fuck
often. Oh! At the life that would bring! I wonder what these things would be
like in an absence of law.
A state of TRUE communism could be reached, and mind you, communistic Soviet
Union and China is NOTHING near the true literary meaning of a communist
state. Life would be peaceful, a recreation of medeival times. There would be
no rich, no poor, no social and statistical grouping. An eye for an eye and a
tooth for a tooth. Or only true work would be to keep together, live together
in peace, a global feeling of love and warmth. But fuck that, anarchy would
bring about a state of chaos, theft of explosives, and terrorism beyond
belief. The tension brought about by constant fear for your life and the
striving to be in anarchial power makes for some AWESOME sex.
It makes a man wonder if such a state would allow us to swipe chemicals from
a college chemistry lab all the more easier. If you see someone coming after
you, telling you to stop and drop the chemicals, turn around and shoot the
fucker! No security guards, law would have no place in enforcement. If it
comes to a gun duel between you and the chemistry teacher, so be it. Prevail,
and get all the chlorates and perchlorates and iodine crystals you want.
Get aluminum dust and nitric acid and sulfuric acid by the gallon. Steal
potassium chloride and lead acetate to poision and kill people that stand in
your way of terrorism. Get phenol and toluene and glycerine by the truckloads.
Blow up the fucking place when you've taken what you needed and go home and
build fucking BOMBS.
With all your arts carried out in this complete state of anarchism, terrorism,
and "do whatever-the-fuck you want to"ism, I ponder the structure and methods
abound in a world where we fear for our lives.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
"1-900-4-FUCKUPS" :
FUN WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S PHONES
By Gross Genitalia
I found a rather interesting little number a few weeks ago. No, it's
not the forementioned number in the title, but one that truly shocked me.
It Toxic Shocked me. HAH! JOKE. HUMOR. LAUGH.
With the bringing about in popularity of 900 numbers, I thought to myself
how truly ridiculous they were, and still ARE. I couldn't believe someone
would pay to call up an answering machine and listen to a stupid message.
Some even $2 for the first minute, and maybe 50 cents to a dollar for each
additional minute? And then I saw one for about $5.95 per call. It was for
people with bad credit ratings, and you could get your VERY OWN (oooh gee!)
VISA card. That blew my mind. Some months later I saw an ad for a similar
credit card company, and the call costed $19.95! Damnski, twenty bucks for
a 1-900 phone call? SHIT! Things had gotten much worse since the 900 number
introduction, and their soon-to-follow craze. You would be sent a huge list
of credit companies that issued cards to customers with bad credit history.
That stunned me, and I wrote the number down with deviousness in mind.
And then I was truly Toxic Shocked (more HUMOR. LAUGH.). Within the SAME
WEEK, I saw a similar advertisement from a different company with an even
bigger list. And the cost for the call? You expect about $30? That's huge!
No! $40? Shit! No! it was FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS! That's the number of this
file! Whoopie shit! But FIFTY DOLLARS for a PHONE CALL? HAHAHAHAHA!
1-900-860-5005 is a $50 call. Go to your local high school, university,
most hated business, neighbor's phone, etc. etc. etc. etc. and you can guess
the rest. Repeating:
That's 1-900-860-5005.
At the time of this writing, the number is valid because the commercial is
still running. Who knows what will happen to it years down the road. I
hope it will be there for a mighty long time. Terrorize everyone you hate.
Tell all your friends at school that this is a new keen-0 k-rad Gnarly
k00l hotline for New Fags on the Cock. They all LOVE them and will call
immediately. HAHAHA! What a surprise. I don't have the $19.95 number anymore,
but why would you need it when you've got a FIFTY DOLLAR NUMBER?
Have fun. Happy hell-wreaking.
-Gross Genitalia.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
THE ATTACK OF THE DISMAL CLITTORIS
----------------------------------
O hail to the almighty Clitorris
O stand in its awesome power.
It jumped off her cunt while she was taking a shit.
A deity is the splendorous clit
O how I would like to get ahold of it
It's not really something to be fucked with.
Bring power from the clit of dispair
Its pinkish flesh covered with hair.
Gee, I'd sure love to eat it.
The clittoris hangs low with distress.
Its tenderness I long to caress.
Alas in dismay it eats off my genitals.
O behold the dingy dismal clittoris
It may strike thy phallus without warning.
You might need a French tickler or hand cream.
The clit will prevail in its battle
Attacking thy manhood with valor.
Although it's rather pissed and it might eat your shit.
What's this you ask? Why, a clit attack me?
It could really destruct your sperm ducts, you see.
Do not agitate the dismal mighty clittoris juice.
Dementedness, purposelessness, lots of ness you think
But without a proper wash, your clit O Shall Stink!
Eat my ass hairs raw, and drink tequila with clit.
Hark! The clitorris attacks my penis!
Its depression is winning my rock!
I will fight with the Acid of Urine!
Only a contraceptive can fend off the power
A rubber will cover your sheath.
Whatever you do when the clit attacks, don't swallow your false teeth.
The clittoris PULSATES, love thrusts ENGULF your COCK!
And just when you think your almighty orgasm ends,
The Attack of the Dismal Clitorris begins.
(c)April 1990, Gross Genitalia of Toxic Shock.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
The following "poems" are from a demented friend of mine. I found them
particularly Toxic and interesting and am dying to share them with you.
-Gross Genitalia
SHE WANTS IT
============
Hey, man... watch out for my feet -
Ya goin too fast.
Just put the pizza down and come over here.
I've got a piece of advice for you.
Take the skate board out of my ear -
Yeah, quit that.
See that blonde over there?
She WANTS me.
Yeah! Yeah, man... she wants it.
You KNOW she wants it.
She wouldn't be OUTSIDE if she didn't want it.
So WHAT if she's your mother - she STILL wants it.
Now go eat some more pizza.
And watch out for my feet.
Your mother wants them, too.
GALS AND GUYS
=============
Like those that came before you,
And those who chase after you,
You take great pleasure
I'm seeing a vast empire crumble to dust in your wake.
And, as expected, your enemies are not solid,
And they break apart on sight,
Thus being dragged down and wrent asunder
By the weapon of insanity
That you have labeled as womanhood.
Now come here and blow me.
BIG PICNIC
==========
Ah, the grass, the tress, the sky...
The red and white checkered blanket...
The neato wicker basket...
The way Debbie'a boobs shudder when I -
Hey, come back here with my watermelon.
FLOWER THIEF
============
Aha! There he is,
Jim...
Looks to me like he's
going...
for the petunias!
Come with me now -
as we watch him from afar!
See him pick
the delicate buds
from
Their comfortable moorings as I scream
That my name
is Biff!
The flowers
captivate me.
They catch me naked and call their friends.
===============
Well that's all he's given me so far. Maybe I'll get some more from him and
release them in a later Toxic file. He's a pretty trippin person and would
probably make it to Toxinhood...
...had he a computer and modem. (c)1990 by a friend of Gross Genitalia's.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
THE ANTHEM OF FETUS
-------------------
This anthem should be sung to the United States national anthem,
the improperly named, The Star Spangled Banner.
-------------------
O say can you see?
Up a uteral tract
What so proudly we hail,
When we see a dead fetus.
Whose broad head and small hands
Do wreak havoc on Men
O'er the Earth we do watch
Fetus Almighty take power.
And the abortion clinics
Coathangers taking lives
And dedicating them
To the Almighty Fetus
O say does that afterbirth make you
Want to eat a slimy fetus?
O'er the Realm of Fetus, Lord!
We Followers do give our lives.
(For the after-effect of this song, fetuses should be hurled into the air
in great number, each of which should be loaded with a timed explosive
charge for a nice "fireworks" effect.)
(c)1990 Toxic Shock.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Yo yo yo all you fab life-fucker-uppers, here are some people to prank!
If you're long distance, no need to worry, call them once and hang up...
doing this 50 times... per minute!
502-753-3425
502-753-9574
615-647-8019
615-477-8661
615-648-1209
615-648-1506
615-358-2111
615-358-2590
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
AMMONIUM TRI-IODIDE
These babies have been around for years. Everyone knows how to make them.
Just to refresh your memory, I'll include MY way so FUCK YOU.
Ammonium Nitrogen Tri-Iodide crystals are made from PURE iodine crystals.
This means you pansies can't go to K-Mart and buy iodine bottles and blow
yourself up. The iodine bought in that form is just a small bit of iodine
dissolved in usually a 40% solution of alcohol and some other shit.
Go into your local black college (oooh discriminant!) or some other cheap
fucking joint, and swipe some iodine. Go to the chemistry labs and sneak in.
Go sometime when high school competitions are being held (such as speech
tournaments) or when weekend classes are going on. You can usually find
everything useful to the common explosive producer, and the chemicals
often sit on shelves or in cabinets with no locks. Everything can be had
here. ALL your potassium and sodium compounds, mercury in all forms,
nitric and sulfuric acid, phenol, lead compounds, powdered metals, all
explosive liquids, and especially your iodine crystals. Get whatever you
want, put them in a backpack, and walk out of the building. Take the attitude
as if you were a lost college freshman. Safe stuff.
Next is the ammonia. In your lab raid get some ammonium hydroxide. This
can be used to make super-sensitive crystals. Such crystals are known to
go off when they are breathed upon. If you aren't into suicide, hop over
to Kroger's and pick up some Bright Clear Household Ammonia. This will do.
Get two glass jars or coffee cans. Last batch I used a glass jar for soaking
and a plastic cup for collecting the waste liquid. It doesn't matter a fuck.
Take a spoonful of iodine crystals and place them in the first jar. They
need not be crushed, although some files will say crush them. Don't. Pour
in enough ammonia to cover the crystals. Be sure to be outside when performing
these operations because the ammonia fumes can fuck your senses pretty bad.
It's overpowering. Be sure to wear some sort of gloves (latex, lambswool
mittens, etc.) as you don't want any of this shit on your skin.
Allow the crystals to soak in the ammonia for a few hours to allow the sediment
to settle. Perhaps you could whip up a batch at sunset and allow them to
soak outside overnight. Don't soak them any longer, they'll end up shitty and
less effective. Your best bet it to let them soak for two or three hours,
shaking the jar occasionally, or stirring the mixture with something
DISPOSABLE (in other words, not your finger!).
Set up the second jar to collect the waste by folding filter paper and placing
it in a funnel over the jar. You all know how to fold filter paper, I trust.
Use a coffee filter or steal some filters from the chem lab you raided. Scrape
the wet crystals off of the filter paper. Don't touch the brown parts or your
hands will look like shit, literally. If you happen to get some on you like
I did, wash your skin thoroughly, vigorously, and most of all, IMMEDIATELY,
with warmish water and soap for a couple of minutes. If you do not, steal some
photographic hypo (sodium thiosulfate, get it from the lab!) and wash the
stains in a strong solution of the stuff. Be sure to wash you skin off after
washing with the solution.
Place the wet crystals on a paper towel to dry, or more preferably, on their
destination site of detonation. It's not wise at all to move a completely
dry crystal to the detonation site. Don't handle a dry crystal. Once they
are dry, they should dentonate by someone walking on them, when a door is
slammed on them, etc. etc. you get the point. To test them, wear some eye
protection and grab a hammer. Place a crystal on a hard surface and strike
it. See what happens. If you use pure ammonium hydroxide, be SURE to wear
ear protection and a bomb-blast suit. An extremely small amount will make
a nice cracking sound when detonated. Anything larger...use your own
descretion, only you know how much you value your life.
You can come up with your own uses. I know ammonium tri-iodide crystals
have been discussed in every file known to man, but here's a rather simple
method. All your equipment can be successfully stolen..er.."borrowed".
Here are some of the chemical equations:
-------------
Iodine and Ammonium Hydroxide >>>>> Ammonium Ammonium Nitrogen Water
Iodide Tri-Iodide
3I + 5NH OH ----> 3NH I + NH NI + 5H O
2 4 4 3 3 2
-------------
Detonation:
Ammonium Nitrogen Tri-Iodide >>> Iodine, Nitrogen, and Ammonia
2NH NI --------> 3I + N + 2NH
3 3 2 2 3
-------------
Equations borrowed from Pyro Book I: "Contact Explosives" for purposeless
use.
Enjoy, blow yourself up, reincarnate, and be aborted for Fetus Almighty.
-Gross Genitalia
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
THEME TO THE TOXINS
Sung to the tune of the Flintstones, of course.
-----------------------------------------------
Toxins...meet the Toxins...they're some really space-out anarchists.
When you're...near the Toxins...they'll rip your balls off if they get
real pissed.
Fuck with us...and your fucking ass is dead,
Cause we'll...make a dinner from your head.
Toxins...meet the Toxins...
You'll have a really mother-fucked...up...time!
ANOTHER TOXIC THEME
Sung to the tune of the Addams Family
-------------------------------------
They have no real objectives...they don't use contraceptives
With roadkills they're selective
They're Toxic Fucking Shock!
Buh-da-da-dum <snap snap>
Buh-da-da-dum <snap snap>
Buh-da-da-dum
Buh-da-da-dum
Buh-da-da-dum <snap snap>
(Yes, we even add verbal sound effects. See:)
Dummmmmm...
They practice anarchistics...and use fetal ballistics
They'll neuter you with chopsticks...
They're Toxic Fucking Shock!
(More of those unbearable verbal sound effects.)
You always have to greet us...We hope that you won't eat us
We always hail to Fetus!
We're Toxic Fucking Shock!
Buh-da-da-dum <snap>.
(Why THANK you, bitch!)
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
.
.:::. .::::::.
..:::::::.. ::::::::::
..:::::::::::::.. :::: :::: The Hillside Pub
.::: ::::::: :::. ::::. :
:: ::::: :: ::::::.
: ::: : :::::::. A Segment of
::: ::::::: Toxic File #50
::: ::::::
::::: : :::: By Gross Genitalia
::::: oxic :::.....:::: hock
.:::::::. ::::::::::
::::::::::: ::::::::
Agnastus was a young rabbit. A young white rabbit. He was a curious little
fucker and was always poking his little pink nose into everything that came
his way, and even things that didn't.
One day Agnastus was hopping along through an unexplored area of forest and
came upon a narrow hole in the side of a hill. A warm blast of air spewed
forth from the hole. Agnastus could hear faint and etheric music coming from
within. He heard suddenly loud screams from within. Agnastus was SO SCARED,
he ran immediately from this section of forest, all the way back home to his
mother.
"Mommy! Mommy!" He was out of breath. "Mommy, there's a hole over in the
Old Forest, and there's people's a screamin' in there!"
"Now Agnastus, I told you to stay out of the Old Forest. Keep yourself out
of trouble. Now your mother's trying to work, so go on out and play."
"But mommy..." Agnastus pleaded. "Hush now, go on out and play," his mother
retorted.
So Agnastus left. He went out to play but it began to rain, so he sought
shelter. He hid in a tight crevice in a tree. Oh, he was wet! He had to get
somewhere drier. It was too far now to get back home without getting soaked.
Agnastus's only other alternative was the Old Forest. So off he went. The
words rang in his head. "I told you to stay out of the Old Forest. Keep
yourself out of trouble." His mother's words rang in his head. He felt a sense
of rebellion however, and ignored the thoughts. He moved deeper into the forest
to keep dry. He came across the hole again.
"Oh dear, I shouldn't go in, but it's raining hard and I don't want to catch
cold out here. Oh..." His mother's words popped up again. The rebellion built,
and Agnastus slowly crept into the warm hole, from which the odd music could be
faintly heard.
Deeper he went into the hole. Darker it got. Further he crept. The music
got louder. The occasional screams became ear-piercing. A faint light ahead!
Agnastus crept on! Around the corner...!
When Agnastus approached into the lively, yet dimly-lit gloom cavern, he
went completely unnoticed by the number of other small forest animals standing
about, partaking of a lightly brown-tinted bubbly liquid in glass mugs. There
was a thin cloud of smoke over the crowd, and a man sat at a box-shaped thing
in the corner which appeared to be some sort of instrument. It was rather
odd-looking. A female squirrel sat atop it and sang. She appeared to be acting
rather irregularly. Occasionally she would fall off the box-thing and a
couple of muscular male mice would come over and lift her up onto a table.
It hit Agnastus where he was. My God, Agnastus had stumbled onto a truly
underground bar. A speak-easy embedded in a hillside. Agnastus had read of
bars only in books, for the Great Order of the Owl had banned bars and the
sale of any alcoholic beverages in the land.
A ferret took a final drag off a strange smoking stick and threw the stub
to the floor and approached Agnastus. "Scuze me son, <HIC!> you don'tsa look
like the age to be in an estab<HIC>lishment like this 'un!"
"I'm sorry sir, it's wet outside and I just came in here to..."
Agnastus was interrupted. "Never mind 'er.. come over here and lemme draw
ye up a beer! We'z gonna celebrate <HIC>!"
The ferret, obviously the drunken bartender of the establishment, drew
up a large frosty mug of beer for Agnastus, who had never tasted any alcoholic
beverage. He put his lips to the mug and took a sip. It tasted good, so he
took a big gulp. He got used to the beer and drank it casually as the ferret
talked. "Yo coz, I'm Slippy, the owner of this joint. See, we ain't never
had a young'n in here before." The other animals began gathering around as
Agnastus drank. They were thoroughly amused in their drunken bliss to have an
animal so young as Agnastus to join them in their secret pub. "Here, have a
cigar." Slippy pushed a fine cigar into young Agnastus's mouth and lit it.
Agnastus, confused, inhaled the cigar as Slippy lit it. He gasped.
"Ugh hug pooooo! Uuughh ughhhuhhh!" Agnastus choked on the smoke and blew it
out. The other animals were amused. Finally Agnastus gave the cigar back to
Slippy and casually told him he didn't want to smoke right now, so he continued
to put away his beer. He finished, and Slippy drew him up another one.
They continued to talk, and Agnastus begin to feel a little lightheaded.
He lit up a cigar and smoked it like a professional, never gasped or coughed
once. He fit right into the crowd. A slick looking gopher came up to Agnastus.
"Yeah little dude, you look mighty clean today. Say, you ever been in LOVE?"
"Why, no sir. I hain't never been with no girl before," replied Agnastus.
"Well, I gotsa girly back in the back here, you wanna go meet her?"
Agnastus looked puzzled. "I..I dunno sir..."
The gopher took over and led Agnastus to the back. "Ain't nothin to be
scared of. Girl'sll be nice to ya, make ya feel reeeeeal special. They makes
ya feel reeeeal good-like." The gopher opened a thick crimson curtain and led
Agnastus into a small room. There was a bed, and on the bed was a rather
beautiful-looking rabbit, slightly older than Agnastus. The sly look left the
gopher's face. "Give 'im a number two special." The gopher left and the girl
spoke.
"Hi little boy, I'm Alicia. I'm gonna treat you reeeally special."
"Hi I'm Agnastus. I hain't never been round girls too much."
"Oh don't worry, I'm gonna help you realize just how good girls can be."
The young female rabbit pulled Agnastus onto the bed and began warming him
up. Agnastus had never heard of prostitutes before, and was about to find out
what the real world was all about.
"So, little Agnastus, ever heard of sex?" She pulled him on top of her and
kissed him on the nose.
"Uh, yeah.." Agnastus blushed. "Yeah I know what it is. It's when ya make
little baby bunnies."
"Oh yeah, well, you don't HAVE to make bunnies. You ever had sex before?"
"No, ma'am, I hain't." Alicia handed Agnastus a small latex device.
"Put this on your little private part." Alicia used a device, not at all
shaped like the one she gave Agnastus. Agnastus got hesitant.
"Now I hain't never done anything like this before. I..." Alicia cut him
off. "Now like I said, I'm a gonna treat you REAL special. Ain't nothin to
worry about. Just do what I say and I'll make ya feel GOOOOD!"
Agnastus got, well, "excited". Alicia propped up on the bed, "rabbit-style"
(play on species...UGH!). She instructed Agnastus to climb up on her and put
his rubber-covered private part into her private part. He mounted her and
entered. "Well, NOW what?" She instructed him to move in and out, in and out,
move around a little, get some good rabbit sex going. Agnastus really liked
the way this felt to his stiffened rabbit-cock. This act was ordinary to
Alicia, an experienced and accomplished rabbit-whore. Agnastus was moving in
and out of Alicia. She was making grunting and moaning noises. Agnastus
decided he'd join in on the noises, even though he didn't understand what
they meant.
Agnastus felt a tingling over his body. He felt it in his rabbit-cock.
Alicia, amidst her moaning pleasure, explained "the process of males".
Agnastus soon came and Alicia had her orgasm, too. She moaned and wailed
in pleasure and Agnastus reached around and grabbed tight hold of Alicia's
breasts as he pumped through his orgasm.
When they were done Alicia sat back and lit up a cigarette, fondling her
dripping wet cunt. Agnastus pulled off his rubber and turned to leave, as
Alicia was treating him with much indifference. He left through the crimson
curtain, and returned to the bar. Slippy drew him up another beer. Agnastus
slid into a plush chair and grinned. Across the room the gopher eyed Agnastus.
He knew what had happened.
The gopher smiled. Another prospective customer.
(c)1990 Toxic Shock. By Gross Genitalia.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Toxinade...that delightful death-quenching drink you've grown to love and
cherish, we're providing you with the original recipe. Greenpeace displays
the toxic pollution of the world by setting up "toxinade" stands and wearing
nuclear suits. Ever wonder what that stuff REALLY is? We'll show you.
1. In a 500ml beaker, crush one tablespoonsful of iodine crystals with your
big toe. Wear plastic bags as not to get any ugly brown stains on your
skin.
2. Add about three teaspoons of wood alcohol, and stir vigourously.
3. Carefully pour in about two grams of lead nitrate, or one and a half
grams of lead oxide. These proportions are essential as to prevent
possible death. The proper lead amounts will cause lead poisoning, which
leads to craziness and then eventual death. We do not want DEATH by any
means! Just a little craziness to hit you up and get you kicking.'
4. With an eye dropper, carefully mix about half an ounce of sulfuric acid
into the current mixture.
5. Boil the mixture at 120 degrees (kelvin, of course) until the gray fumes
are concentrated so that they ignite your pubic hair.
6. When this happens, add a spoonful of antimony sulfide and an ounce of
Paris Green, SIMULTANEOUSLY. This is important because if they are not
mixed in this manner, the mixture will begin producing caustic fumes,
which cause severe excretory problems in domestic animals. These fumes
are poisonous bowel evacuants, and no attempt should be made to add the
above ingredients separately.
7. Pour this mixture out into a 1000ml Erlenmyer flask, and put in the
freezer.
8. After the mixture thickens and appears almost frozen, take it out and
add a spoonful of sodium peroxide. Be careful, as sodium peroxide should
not come in contact with anything organic, such as your SKIN for example.
9. Boil the mixture over a green-flamed fire for an hour, but only under a
full moon. Any less such light will not bond the toxinade right; anything
brighter will produce toxic fumes which kill living organisms, such as
yourself. The fumes will subside and the mixture will explode if exposed
to more light than that of a full moon.
10. Allow this mixture to cool in a tub of fresh virgin chicken blood until
morning. At that time, remove the flask and filter the entire solution
into a small glass or porcelain jug. The wet solids in the filter paper
should either be buried, flushed down the toilet, or dumped on your most
hated enemies. I'm sure you have plenty.
11. The brownish, dirty-looking liquid is Toxinade. It is considered a
delicacy among the Followers of Fetus, who have a rather strong immunity
to the "impurities" of the mixture.
Toxinade should be served cold, over dry ice, with a worm, lizard, frog
tongue, or by traditional methods, mixed with tequila or some good vodka.
This adds a nice bite to Gross Genitalia's lemon drinker mixer. Add a touch
of ethanol and grenadine and serve to your party guests.
See you in hell!
(c)1990 Gross Genitalia and his Kitchen Cooking Fluency.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Hickory Dickory Dock
Some bitch was on my cock.
The clock struck two
I shot my goo
And then I lost my rock.
--------------------------
If when you die you are cremated, and your remains are spread in your
backyard, what kind of plants will grow there?
ASH TREES! HAHAHA!
That was so damned fucking stupid I just had to share it with you.
--------------------------
There once was a lady from SixPence
Whose tits were so fucking immense
She had very bad luck
They got knocked off by a truck
And she hasn't seen them since.
--------------------------
[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]
.
.:::. .::::::.
..:::::::.. ::::::::::
..:::::::::::::.. :::: :::: "Geek Turned Killer"
.::: ::::::: :::. ::::. :
:: ::::: :: ::::::.
: ::: : :::::::. A Gore Production
::: :::::::
::: :::::: By Gross Genitalia
::::: : ::::
::::: oxic :::.....:::: hock A Segment of
.:::::::. :::::::::: Toxic File #50
::::::::::: ::::::::
Eugene was a typical geek loser who worshipped his computer as if it were
some type of deity. It was his life, his being, his existence. And not to
go unsaid, Eugene was a BBS geek.
A typical post from Eugene would look something like this:
From: EUGENE (#51)
Subj: Hey d00dz! Eat ass hairs!
Hey d00dz, I'm just so glad I have a computer. I just love my computer, and
I love getting to talk on the local BBS's to you doods. You people are all so
k00l-rad. I can't call long distance because my mother won't allow me to do
that.
Hey Bite-Krusher, you're such a pansy wimp and I bet you suck your dog's
penis at night! I bet I could whip your ass ten times in a row! You think
you're so bad-ass, cracking warez and shit, well FUCK YOU! I did a recrack
of Pac-Man yesterday by a boot trace, so see, I can crack just as well as you
can! YEAH FUCK YOU DIE SLAY KILL PILLAGE BURN DETH DRINK VIRGIN BLOOD
EAT SHIT DEFECATE DECAFFEINATE DESECRATE LICK YOUR MOTHER'S CUNTJUICE!
Does anyone have any MCI codez they could give to me in my e-mail?
EUGENE
THE ONE AND ONLY K00L-KRACKER!!!!
Uh-huh. Whatever. These are the type of people you love to rag on and
kick ass. No comment on the post.
Eugene had just finished a session on the local 60 meg pirate board, which
was stupid and unfortunate enough to let the geek on. He had been threatened
by several users, one of which was posting his address all over the place.
Eugene had leeched a couple of wares and pulled several gfiles, and went to
read some of them when the doorbell rang. He went to open it; he was home
alone.
"Hi, who are you?" A boy, seeming to be in his late teens, stood at the
door with an evil aura about him.
"You little fucking punk! I hate your guts you slime sucking bitch!
Always threatening people but never doing shit! Well hey, I'm the Bite-Krusher,
and I carry OUT my threats! Prepare to die you fucking twerp!"
Bite-Krusher pushed Eugene back into the house and down onto the floor.
Eugene ran to the phone. He picked it up. It was dead.
"HAHAHA you little pussy dickless fuck. I CUT your damned lines. You have
30 seconds left in your life."
Eugene pissed in his pants, as noted by the dark ring on his jeans around
his genital area. He ran upstairs to his room and slammed the door. Sobs
could be heard a mile away, followed by whiny squeaky yelps of terror.
Bite-Krusher made his way up the stairs and kicked in the door. He sent
splinters flying everywhere. Eugene sat crouched in the corner with his head
between his legs.
"Quit trying to suck your dick you loser! You have 20 seconds left in your
life."
Eugene crawled under the bed. Bite-Krusher took all the time in the world,
for Eugene was to die in about 16 seconds now.
Bite-Krusher picked up the bed and hurled it aside, crumbling it. Eugene
jumped up and ran into his closet.
"You have eight seconds to live Eugene." Bite-Krusher grabbed ahold of
the wobbly closet doors.
"Six...Five...Four...Three...Two...", he ripped off the closet doors and
drew a long knife from his belt. "One...Die!"
BBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
The smoke filled the room as Bite-Krusher died. From within the closet
Eugene emerged carrying a double-barreled 12 guage shotgun. Both barrels
were empty and smoking. The mangled body of Bite-Krusher lay sprawled out on
the floor, his entrails hanging out by torn cords of nerve and muscle.
Eugene reloaded and left. He was pissed.
He was very pissed. He wanted revenge. He wanted it now.
He went to the house where the 60 meg pirate board was housed. He broke in
silently through a ground-level window and cased the empty house. He found the
computer system upstairs in an office-type room. He took the phone off the hook
and logged on local. He made his way to the first sub and posted.
From: SYSOP
Subj: HAHAHA FUCKHEADS!
HAHAHA This is Eugene. No I did not hack the sysop's account, although I
could have cause I'm bad and k00l-gnarly. Bite-Krusher is dead. He just
showed up at my house and I killed the fucker in cold blood. Now I'm going to
kill all of you just like in that fucking online game here "A Day At The
Morgue". You're all gonna fry like hell cause I'm BAD YOU BITCHES!
Proudly Eugene saved his message, left some hate mail, and logged off. He
hid himself and waited in raged psychotic fantasy.
Momentarily he heard someone enter the house. He was not terrified, but
in his altered mental state of vengeance and violence he was in ecstacy,
his fingers neatly poised on both of the shotgun triggers. He saw the sysop
of the board enter the computer room and sit down to answer a page from a
user that had logged on immediately after Eugene had logged off. The user had
seen the post.
The sysop is online
-------------------
Hello, can I help ya?
YES! What in the HELL is that post on sub one about?
What post?
The one where you posted like you were that Eugene fag!
I really don't know what you're talking about. Where is it?
It's the last post on sub one.
Hold a sec...
Sysop is offline...please wait.
The sysop went into the sub bases and read the post. Oh shit... someone
had hacked his account. No telling what they had done to the hard drive.
He came back online with the user.
Well, I read the post. I guess someone hacked my account. Hold on and I'll
go see when they logged on.
Sysop is offline...please wait.
He went into sysop mode and viewed the caller log. He found the call at
the end of the list. It was a sysop call. It had been made only five
minutes ago. What was worse, it was a local logon.
The sysop sat in his chair, trembling in silent terror. As he reached for
the chat key, his system was blown into small pieces, blue electrical
charges danced about the table. Eugene came from behind a bookshelf.
"Holy shit! Who in the fuck are you???? Please don't hurt me, I don't
know who you are, why are you doing this?!?!?" The sysop dropped to his
knees. Eugene felt an inhuman rush of power.
"You fuckheaded shit! I'm Eugene, and I hate your board! It sucks! I'm
the only k00l-keen0 user on there so I killed it! HAHAHA! Die son of a bitch!"
Eugene let loose a fray of gunshot, and smoke filled the room. The sysop
fell to the floor with a thud. The other phone line rang, and Eugene
answered it.
"Hell-the-fuck-O?"
"Yes, uh, what happened?"
"What the hell do you mean what happened?"
"I was just in chat with you and all of a sudden you hung up!"
"Fuck you loser, the sysop is DEAD. I killed him because I'm BAD!"
Eugene hung up the phone. He heard footsteps.
A figure appeared in the doorway. It was a most horrifying sight, a walking
mound of bloody flesh with entrails protruding from the naked stomach.
It was Bite-Krusher. And he was pissed. He was very pissed. He wanted
revenge, and he wanted it now.
Bite-Krusher made somekind of motion with his hand, in which was held a
long slender metal object, much like a knife. But before Eugene could make
out this motion, the world before him turned suddenly black and his soul
separated from his earthly body.
Then Eugene realized something very important.
He was dead.
(c)1990 Toxic Shock. By Gross Genitalia.
"There are none so blind as those who cannot see."
-J.D. Waynick
I SPEAK FOR THE FETUSES...WE WANNA DIE!!
[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]
ATTENTION ALL CRAZY FUCKED UP PEOPLE!
BE A TOXIN!
Toxic Shock is looking for new members. We're looking to expand our horizons
through the murky afterbirth. Yes, this means we are now accepting new members.
If you should like to be in Toxic Shock, remember, we are extremely selective.
And we don't like to be formal, nor do we like to help people. We like to
piss people off.
For your application to Toxic Shock, you must write a file. Like I said, we
don't like to help. Write anything. What, you ask? Write whatever you feel
like writing. If we don't like it, we'll call you up with your own phone card
and laugh at you. If we like it, we will contact you in some way and perhaps
tell you some "guidelines" for another file you must write. All files must
be original, no plagiarised, copied, borrowed, or otherwise bullshit material.
That's all we have to say about it. That's it. If you write something we
find appealing and Toxic, we'll consider you for membership. Send all entries
to Centre of Eternity (615.552.5747). If you cannot get them there, somehow
get ahold of one of us and we'll work something out.
Ugh, we hate being formal and supportive. But this is the only way we approach
you looking for members.
Now eat shit. Being nice has pissed me off. I need a baby to abort.
Throw me a pregnant bitch...NOW!!!
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
Well basically that's all for the #50 file. We all hope you liked it, and will
show it to all your fucking friends. Don't show it to non-fucking friends,
virgins are always excluded.
I want to announce how truly saddened I am that RipCo International is down.
The 9600 baud board at 312-528-5020 with about 61 megs of files and wares is
gone apparently forever. When news reached me of its bust I almost cried. A
Toxin crying? Fuck no. It was like the death of John F. Kennedy to America.
Like the Hindenburg Disaster. Like the earthquake in Armenia to the Soviet
Union. It was a death of a mighty board to all the telecommunicators of this
conformist country.
FUCK YOU AUTHORITIES, you took away our pride and joy, RipCo BBS. FUCK YOU.
Read every one of our files. Every death-related thing that we discuss I wish
it upon you. PISS OFF DICKHEADS. You destroyed a majestic source of information
and entertainment all the more. Eat shit and live with it crusting inside your
mouths.
Goodbye Dr. RipCo, thanks for six and a half years of enjoyment.
But anyway, as for Toxic Shock, we will move on and recover. We have SEVERAL
new files planned. Fetal Juice will hopefully be coming up from his continuous
busyness and release his AWESOME file, of which I will not say a name or give
any details. Bloody Afterbirth is getting back into the swing of things and
has many new ideas brewing. A revolution is about to happen, but we'll wait and
let Bloody fill you in later. I, Gross Genitalia, have just released my newest
file, "Trix Are For Kids". That's the kind of stuff I want to do, so be looking
for more files already in the works. I also am releasing "Druglore and
Draft-Dodgers", an excellent tale of American drug legends and hilarious
stories of people dodging the army draft by doing some Toxic fucked up things!
Call Centre of Eternity and get all you want, then distribute them freely.
Until then, a hearty fuck off and have a rather bad day from all the Toxins!
Good luck and God-speed in whatever trivial and unimportant things you do.
=[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]=
(c) 1990 by Toxic Shock.
"Meet the Toxins" -- Toxic Shock File #50
Written by Gross Genitalia, with help from Fetal Juice and Bloody Afterbirth.
Hoping to release Toxic File #100 by the end of 1990. Piss off.
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