250 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
250 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
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::::: oxic :::......:::: hock
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.:::::::. :::::::::::
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presents
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Downfall of Coathanger
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by Bloody Afterbirth
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Toxic File #9
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!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&
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Yea verily I say unto thee, Fetus was a mighty opponent, and The Destroyer
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stood not a chance 'gainst His strength! Let now the tale be told!
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*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@
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Fetus... The Flaming Fetus... Fetus the Fickle... Fetus the Fucked...
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Fetus Owner of Department Stores... Names for the entity brought into existence
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by the Mighty Coathanger. Little did his 'Alimightiness' know that he was but a
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tool of Coathanger... For as long as Fetus and his followers continued their
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actions, Deathbringer only grew in strength... The stronger they became, the
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stronger He became.
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By the Almighty Abortion, Coathanger had brought into existence one of the
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most fearsome forces of all eternity, a force whose sole purpose in 'life' was
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to fuck everything up. Fetus... And as long as Abortion was looked down upon,
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Coathanger's strength would reign eternal... As long as empty headed women saw
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Fetus' as a curse, as long as they were willing to kill a part of themselves,
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Coathanger would dominate... And dominate He did, unknowingly, behind the
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scenes, letting none know that He was in control...
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_-
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Moses was a man of little intelligence. He had this all encompassing
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desire to be whipped and beaten and made to pull big rocks, wallow in the mud,
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and make bricks without straw. So, when Job Services came around and offered
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him a job as a Prince of Egpyt, he turned it down and took on the job of Slave
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to the Pharoah.
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The people of Israel had grown sick of centuries of Bondage and Discipline,
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and were looking for someone to lead them from captivity, someone who would show
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them NEW kinky sex rites.
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Now...Moses was stupid, but he was ambitious. Instead of being whipped, he
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wanted to do the beating, as that turned him on much more. Coathanger noticed
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this, and called to Moses.
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"Moses! Yo! Bud! Hey you! Yeah you, with the stretch marks! Cm'here!"
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For many days, Moses journeyed to the Golden Calf Tavern, where Coathanger
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was leading him. Once there, Moses proceeded to get really fucked up. When he
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was done, and was stumbling out the door, Coathanger appeared.
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"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Look at THAT! Its a COATHANGER!"
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"Shhhhh! Keep it down, keep it down. Let's make a deal bub."
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"Uhhhh, whash kinda deal you wan' make, Mishter?"
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"I'll show you how to lead your people out of Egpyt and give you your very
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own whip and leather straps, if you'll just promise to do exactly as I say."
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"Ok! Shoundsh good! Let'sh get to work!"
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--Weeks Later, In Pharoah's Audience Chamber, Auditions For Party Entertainment
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Are Being Held--
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"Next!"
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"A girl calling herself Loosey, sire."
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A little girl walked into the chamber, and sat before the Pharoah on a
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small reed mat. She looked up at Pharoah, rolled her eyes in the back of her
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head, started screaming "FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME" and spun her head
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around on her shoulders three times, puked bile for 10 feet all over the place,
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fingered herself and began fucking the air.
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"Hey, how many of these things are we going to get? That's the fifth one
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today! NEXT!"
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"A runaway slave named Moses who turned down the offer of Prince to be
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beaten chained and whipped all in the name of kinky sex, sire."
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"What is your trick, what is it that you do?"
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"My Lord and My God speaks to you through me, and these are his words.
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Let my people go, so that they may worship me faithfully without being
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whipped and beaten!"
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"Who is this Lord, that I should let them go? I know this dude not, and
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the Israelites are leaving not."
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Pharoah kicked Moses out, and decreed that all Israelites were now only
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required to make half as many bricks as before, and they could have 3 days off
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every week, with pay, to be thoroughly beaten and whipped, with newer and
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kinkier sex rites, to keep their mind off of freedom, as Moses promised.
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Moses returned to the Golden Calf, got plastered, and met with Coathanger
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once again. "Oh Mighty Hanger of Coats, what can we do now? Pharoah didn't
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listen to your Mighty Decree, oh he is soooo strong and wise!"
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"Go to my people, Moses. And tell them that their Lord and their God has
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promised freedom from the bondage, freedom from slavery. I will deliver them
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from Egypt!"
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Moses did as told, and was laughed at hysterically. The people were really
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enjoying the extra bondage, besides, Coathanger didn't promise anything, just
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the end of a fantastically kinky sex act!
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Coathanger and Moses chatted once again, and this time they decided to blow
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Pharoah's mind with some really awesome shit...
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"Show me your miracles, show me what this Coathanger can do!"
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Moses pulled out his dick, and it began slithering and sliding, like a
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snake, and grew longer and longer, and fucked a serving girl.
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But Pharoah was unimpressed, and brought another serving girl into the
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room. She stripped, and suddenly a long dick slithered from her asshole and she
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proceeded to pump herself until she couldn't fuck any longer.
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And then Coathanger said unto Moses..."Go to Pharoah as he goes out to piss
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in the river. Then, take in hand your mighty dick and say to him "Coathanger
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says, Let My People Go, or I shall surely strike the waters of the river and
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make them nasty!""
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Pharoah went out to take his morning piss, and noticed someone on the other
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bank, flailing his arms and going "Oo oo oo! Hey! Hey! Lookit lookit!" He
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recognized it as Moses. He was holding his dick in hand, and started mumbling
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some gibberish about striking the river if Pharoah didn't free the people.
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"Hey, yo, you can kiss my ASS if you think I'm letting all this free sex
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go! You MUST be buggin'"
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So with a mighty grunt, Moses pissed in the river, and it turned yellow and
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stank, becoming urine. The whole of the river was urine, but Pharoah was not
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bothered, anyone can piss in a river. He spoke to the slaves...
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"Slaves of Egypt! Because of what has been done to my river, I am now
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cutting out the whippings! You will now do NOTHING! You will stay at home and
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be treated like HUMAN BEINGS! That is the punishment!"
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Now the slaves grew restless, and yea, even Moses was depressed, because he
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too missed the Bondage and Discipline. Ah! His moment! He could take
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advantage of the situation!
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"My people! Coathanger says this! Follow me from Egypt, and I shall see
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to it that you are thrashed thrice daily!"
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Well, the people were really excited about this, and began to form a faith
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for Coathanger, and worshipped Moses as His prophet. After all, anything was
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better than being treated like humans...
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And Moses spoke again to Coathanger, and again Moses went unto Pharoah.
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"Pharoah! This is what Coathanger the Barbarian has decreed! If you don't
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let my people go, you're gonna be really really really really really sorry! I
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shall send plagues on top of plagues and you will weep!"
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"Bah humbug... You expect me to believe that shit?"
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Fetus had hardened Pharoah's heart, unbeknownst to all. The Pharoah was
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now the tool of Fetus, doing as Fetus bade.
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The next day, frogs with lice stormed the country and attacked the cattle,
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giving them all boils which killed them all and then flies buzzed the area
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dropping tons of maggots onto the fields and then ten gazillion locusts flew
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through and ate up everybody's Egyptian Express cards and then the sun was
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struck and it was dark at noon for all kinds of hours. But still, Pharoah was
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strong, his heart was hardened. He did not give in.
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Hank Aaron then arose in front of the people and a dejected Moses. "My
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Lord speaks to me, and gives me a message for you all:
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"Yo...Dudes! This is FETUS! Wanna have a PARTY? Well hey man, all you
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cats gotta do meet me in the desert at 9pm Friday! Catch ya later dudes!"
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Moses feared for Coathanger as all the Israelites suddenly decided that
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Fetus was the man to vote for.
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"Wait! People of Israel! Fetus has offered you no way of leaving!
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Coathanger shall remove you from here, and let you go to the party, all you must
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do is follow Coathanger's decrees!"
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Well hey, the people saw a definite advantage in following Coathanger,
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Fetus was notoriously good at having some really wakked out parties, the
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Canaanites were a really jammin' kinda people, and everyone had heard about the
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big blast they had at Sodom...
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The next morning, Moses once again approached Pharoah.
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"This is the word of Coathanger.
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Free my people, that they may have a hell of a party."
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Well, Pharoah wasn't about the let a bunch of slaves go to a party that he
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didn't get an invitation to, so he promptly said NO and decreed that all slaves
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would now be allowed to stay up as late as they wanted.
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Aaron stood before his people and Pharoah and said, "This is the decree of
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my liege Fetus! Let 'em go or you'll be soooooorrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy!"
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Pharoah laughed at that, after all, how foolish could these people be? Who
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ever heard of a dude named Fetus being able to do anything to a Pharoah?
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But even as Pharoah laughed, all of the Egyptian Fetuses ruptured the flesh of
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their mothers, clawing their way out, slaughtering their parents and all their
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friends, going on a mass killing spree and hacking up all the first born boys in
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all the families except those who had a Ghostbuster sign on their front door.
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"Ok! Ok! I give! Fetus has beaten me! The people may go to the party!
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They are free!"
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Cheers and ecstatic joy went through all the slaves, for at last, they
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would have a hell of a party in the desert! Coathanger felt his power slipping,
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for Fetus had a power that Coathanger had not foreseen.
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Coathanger spoke unto Moses once again... "Take my people towards the sea,
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and when you reach the sea, piss in it, and the waters shall be parted!"
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"Oh, yeah right, bullshit man, there's no way in hell you can do something
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like that!"
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"Well, ok, so you're right. Take my people to the bridge I built last
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night, that'll let 'em cross the Red Sea. And hey, while yer there, light up a
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Bic for me and say I caused the flame, ok?"
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"Yeah, sure, but I better get a hell of a pension for this."
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Two months later... Coathanger had, deliberately, led the people away from
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the party and towards the mountains. Fetus was furious, for he had not known
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that the people were so stupid as to see that it was HE that caused the attack
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by the fetuses. As they neared the mountains, Rap music was heard from the top
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of Cyanide, and Moses took it as a sign. He told all the people to stay where
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they were, that he was going to go get some really juked out shit and he'd be
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back shortly.
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Once Moses reached the top of the mountain, he found a flaming marijuana
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plant, but it wasn't burning up! Well, this was like the most fucked thing he
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had ever seen, and he was truly in awe!
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"Moses. Thou hast done thy job well. Now. Scribe these commandments down
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for me, for these are the rules my people are to live by.
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Thou shalt have no other parties before I say so.
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Thou shalt not make for thyself any idol of anything other than Bruce
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Springsteen because I said so.
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Thou shalt not misuse a coathanger and use it for any purpose other than
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back alley abortions, for using it for any other purpose will really piss me
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off!
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Thou shalt remember the song Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath because it is a really
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cool song, and you will listen to it as much as possible.
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Thou shalt kill thy mother and thy father, for they are EVIL!
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Thou shalt not kill on every third leap year that falls on a Thursday.
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Thou shalt not fuck anyone else's spouse with permission.
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Thou shalt never tell the truth in any Court of Law.
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Thou shalt never covet what thy neighbor has, simply steal the damn thing
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and get it over with."
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But when the People heard the Rap music, they were apalled. They had
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busted their asses to follow a drunk son of a bitch to a mountain, missing the
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party and still not having any really kinky sex. Then, to top it all off, they
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were forced to endure the sounds of Aborigine bongo banging with sounds like fat
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lipped fuckers spitting all over the place. That was all they could take!
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Well Fetus noticed this. He planted a big ass building right in the middle
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of the desert where the People were, and they were amazed. He called it the
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Golden Calf Tavern, and all were welcome. Inside he threw a hell of a party,
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free drinks to everyone, and the kinkiest sex rites ever devised went on
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inside. Adam and Eve would have been awed by the things done inside!
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Everybody got fucked up royally, and they were banging like bunnies on a
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hot summer night, when Moses came down from the mountain.
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Moses was walking slowly, trying to balance the slabs of stone he was
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carrying that had the commandments engraved upon them. When he looked down upon
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the building and saw that the party had begun, and that Fetus had been
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responsible, he slammed the tablets down, breaking them, ran to the building and
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joined the party in the name of Fetus.
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And so ended the reign of Coathanger, for the last of his followers were
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bought by the thought of an eternal party, a party that only Fetus can throw.
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The power of such a blow was too much for Coathanger, the last of his strength
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was sapped in attempting to comprehend just exactly HOW kinky the sexual acts
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actually were. Fetus reigns supreme.
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*!@&^#$%!*@&#^$%#^@*#@^@*$#%@^#%!&@*#%$#&^!%$&#@%$@#%#@^#!@$!#@!@!&^#*&@!^
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(c)1989 Toxic Shock - All Rights Aborted or Miscarried
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The Followers Of Fetus
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Bloody Afterbirth
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Fetal Juice
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Gross Genitalia
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Twisted Testicles
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Tasty Abortion
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