175 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
175 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
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___________________________________________________________________________
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Toxic Shocke Presents:
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_______ /\ /\ _______
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_______|)--<||> 50 Uses for the Household Pussy <||>--(|_______
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) \/ \/ (
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A 12/04/89 by Gross Genitalia A
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Head-to-Hole Head-to-Hole
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Production Toxic Shock File #3 Production
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[Centre of Eternity.....40 megs.....3/12/2400 baud............615-552-5747]
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___________________________________________________________________________
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Pussy. Yeah, that nice wet soft female sex object us guys just fuckin flip
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out over. But what happens when that nice young female dies? Oh yeah if
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you're a fuckin gross-ass necropheliac you can keep her and use that
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stone-hard bitch as a fuck doll, but nah. You've loved her cunt for a long
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long time, why not keep it? Put that bitch to use. Here I present:
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50 uses for the household pussy
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-------------------------------
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1. So you've got your dead bitch's twat. What can you do with it? Use it
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to apply shoe polish to your finest Sunday shoes.
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2. When you're horny as hell just remember your sweet, but now deceased,
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girlfriend and put her cunt in your hand to masturbate with.
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3. Use it as a sponge to wash your car.
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4. Use it as a coaster for your drinks.
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5. Having guests over for dinner? Top your favorite casserole with it.
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6. Use it as a table centerpiece at your annual banquet of America's
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most prestigeous businessmen.
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7. Hey, it's reusable toilet paper!
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8. Give it to your new girlfriend as a makeup brush.
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9. Bake it in the oven and use it as steel wool to scour pots and pans.
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10. Use it as a speaker grill on your finest 200 watt speaker system.
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11. Tie it to a string and let your dog chase it.
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12. Hang it on the hood ornament of your car.
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13. Tack it to a piece of wood and put it out for a door knocker.
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14. Use it for a toupee! HAHAHA!
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15. Double your luck at the fuck. Tape in onto your new girlfriend so
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now you've got double the pussy!
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16. Miss your girlfriend? Tape it between your NEW girlfriend's tits
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and bury your face in it. Have some of the old and some of the new, too.
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17. Use it for mittens in winter.
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18. Fill it with some foam rubber and try your hand at some racquetball.
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19. Stretch it out and use it as a fish net.
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20. Or stretch it out and give it to your new girlfriend as a pair of
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fish net hose.
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21. Wanna be gross? Tape it to your butt crevice. Whack off with one
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hand and finger your asshole thru the deceased cunt as if it were
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your girlfriend.
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22. Mix it in with your alfalfa sprouts.
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23. Have too many past girlfriends? Kill them all and take their pussies.
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Throw them in a bathtub and jump in. Hell now you're surrounded by all
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kinds of cold, sweet, stinky pussy. Ain't it great?
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24. Run out of fishing line? String all those black hairs together so
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you'll always have some spare line on hand.
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25. Throw it in a plastic bag and squeeze it when you get horny.
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26. Tape it to your new girlfriend's mouth so not only will you be
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throwin your tongue down her throat but you'll have the pleasure of
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throwing your tongue thru your OLD girlfriend's pussy.
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27. Use it in place of a feather duster.
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28. Use it for a small scale mop.
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29. Put it in your tuna fish salad to simulate the real taste and
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aroma of that pussy.
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30. Wear it around your neck like black people wear the Africa
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symbols and Cadillac hood ornaments.
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31. Hang it on the antenna of your car.
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32. Tie it to a string and tie the string to the trailer hitch of
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your car and let the bitch fly down the road.
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33. After baking it for using as steel wool, wash it and bake it
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again to use as a hairbrush.
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34. Lose your wallet? This cold stuff cunt will do just fine.
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35. Tie it on the end of a rope and swing it out at cars as
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they drive down the road.
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36. Pull up to the McDonald's drive-thru and tape it to the
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speaker thingie where you order your food.
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37. Or keep it until you get to the window and then throw it in
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and drive off.
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38. Go inside McDonald's and tape the pussy to the cash registers.
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39. Got the guts? The equipmet? Climb up to a billboard and paint,
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in big bold letters, "Free PUSSY!". Tack several pussies to the
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billboard then draw and arrow from the text to the pussy.
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40. Option for above: Do that and then put at the bottom:
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"Just call <Your best friend's telephone number>!!"
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41. Pour alcohol on it and use it to clean the heads on your floppy
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disk drives.
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42. Put soap on it and use it to clean YOUR head! (Not the one on
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your shoulders, either!)
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43. Put in on a boxing glove and go around punching out all your
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worst enemies. Not only do they get a black eye but also the smell
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of dead rotting cunt embedded into their system.
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44. Go to a doctor's office, open up the damn Reader's Digest,
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stick in the cunt then close it. Hang around and watch people
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find a cunt when they expected to see "Build Your Word Power".
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45. Go in to see the doctor, show him the cunt and say you passed
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this thing with your stools this morning.
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46. Go to the local Kroger's. Throw a spare dead cunt into the
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lobster tank. Bury one somewhere in the produce section.
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47. They got a cafeteria? Dump the bitch somewhere in the food line.
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48. Go into Big Lots, where all the niggers shop, have your cunt
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handy. No not YOURS, I hope you guys don't have both! You know
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what I mean. Put the cunt on top of the manager's head then
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announce "Yo niggas, whassup? There's some free sweet pussy up
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here, come and get it!" See if the manager doesn't get mobbed with
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a thousand blacks trying to mob the son of a bitch.
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49. Go to the local K-Mart film department, fill out an envelope,
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and stuff in the pussy as the "film" to be developed...
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50. While at K-Mart, tape the pussy to the big blue light, turn the
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bitch on, and announce a fuckin Blue Light Special, Free Cunt for All!
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Oh well, I m totally twisted and demented and just fucked out right now,
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if I think of more ideas I'll come out with "More Uses for the
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Common Household Pussy". Let me know if you have any ideas. Put that
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dead stiff cunt to work for you.
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12/04/89 by Gross Genitalia.
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Centre of Eternity - 40 megs - 12/2400 baud - lots of files - 615-552-5747
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The Followers of Fetus are: Bloody Afterbirth, Fetal Juice, Gross Genitalia,
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Tasty Abortion and Twisted Testicles.
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