294 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
294 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
ÞÞÞÞÞ Þ Þ ÞÞÞÞ
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Þ ÞÞÞÞÞ Þ Þ
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Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ
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Þ Þ Þ ÞÞÞÞ
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he idden bvious
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Yet another of those cheat reports by Mother 69 fer ya
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Here's one ready made and cooked to order
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Look for future THO releases from:
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Mother 69 Icarus
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Tripping Jackrabbit Java-Man
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-+(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)+-
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Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimen is about the end of the world,
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well... the near end of the world. You see, the Anti-Christ and the
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representatives of Heaven and Hell have decided that they like the planet and
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they want it to be around for a while longer, this doesn't go along with the
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grand scheme of things and confusion reigns supreme. The Anti-Christ is named
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Adam, he is a rather ordinary child who is inspired and captivated by about
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anything, for about 5 minuets. He is joined by Pepper a fiery red headed girl
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around his own age, Brian and Wenslydale who basically follow anything that
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Adam says with little or no argument, together they make up a gang that is
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known as the Them. Newt Pulsifer is a man without direction so he decides to
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join the witch finder group, Newt is the kind of man that cannot do too much
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right in his life, he buys the kind of things that go obsolete within the week
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that they are shipped in. Dog is the Hellhound that is supposed to look after
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Adam for the rest of his life, but becomes more interested in hunting down
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insects and other smaller creatures. The representatives are Aziphrale and
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Crowley, Crowley is the representative of hell who likes the good things in
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life like fast cars, VCRs and drinking bars, Aziphrale is the representative
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of heaven and has the world's largest collection of rare books except for one,
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Agnus Nutter's Nice and Accurate Prophecies, but we'll get into that later.
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Anthema Device is Agnus Nutter's descendant who has the only remaining copy
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of the book, but looses it. The Four Horsemen (actually it's three horsemen
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and one horsewoman) DEATH, War, Famine, and Pestilence are doing exactly what
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their names say. So much for the players, now for the game.
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We start off the story with Crowley bringing Adam to the Chattering Order's
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hospital in the middle of England for the switch of Adam and two other
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innocents, they get mixed up at the "hospital". Adam, who is supposed to go
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with a rich American who has some business in the British Isles but is sent
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with Mr. and Ms Young. Azaphraile and Crowley are supposed to influence the
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child. They find out 11 years later that they have been trying to influence
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the wrong child by noticing that the Hell hound doesn't show up at the child's
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party. The Hellhound finds Adam and his crew at a pit that has become their
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main hangout spot and is magically changed to whatever Adam thinks that his
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dog should look like, and then comes the time of truth, the naming of the
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Hellhound. After a tense moment, Adam tells them exactly what he would name
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it, and it was Dog. Now instead of being huge, gruesome, and mean, Dog is
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small, furry, has a bent ear and is pretty much the cutest mutt that you
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could ever see. Needless to say, Dog was disappointed but quickly adapted to
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what he was now.
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That evening, Azaphraile and Crowley are driving through the British
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countryside without the use of headlights. Anthema Device is riding her bike
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down the same road going in the opposite direction of,the Demon and Angel.
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Bang. Anthema is thrown clear of the road with a fractured arm and a broken
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bicycle. With a sweep of his hand, Azaphraile fixes the bike, mends her arm
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and makes a bike rack with tartan straps, Anthema is too dazed to know what is
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really going on, so in that state of confusion she forgets the book o'
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prophicies prophecies that was given to her. After dropping her and her bike
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off at her abode, Azaphrale discovers the book in the back of the car and
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doesn't tell Crowley about his discovery.
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Azaphrale spends about half of a day reading the book and mutters the
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occasional "brilliant", but not much else. During the time that Azaphrale had
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the book to read, Crowley was extraordinarily worried about what he was going
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to do with his superiors because he had goofed with the babies. Another thing
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that was going on was that Newt finally meets Anthema by getting into a car
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crash because he swerved in order to miss a Tibetan that just happened to pop
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up out of a tunnel that he was mysteriously teleported into by none other
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than Adam. It's at this time that Adam starts thinking about what was in the
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magazines that Anthema had loaned to him the previous day, stories about
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saving the whales and protecting the ozone, but most importantly about the
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lost continent of Atlantis and how it disappeared. Adam gets very fired up
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about this one day and starts preaching about it, as he is doing so storm
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clouds start to form and the Them realize that Adam is more than they
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originally thought. It is at this time that Adam lets his imagination run
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free and the world is a stranger place because of it. By the way, Atlantis
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surfaces.
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Now for the Four Horsepersons, they all meet at a small diner in the middle
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of the English countryside. There is one difference between the Four that
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are depicted in the bible and the ones that are in the book, these horsepeople
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ride motorcycles, wear leather, and fly. Their names are War, Famine,
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Pestilence and DEATH. In this diner they are joined by four other motorcycle
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riders. The new four decide to give themselves names of new terrible things
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of the modern day, like Really Obnoxious People. We'll join the 8 horsepeople
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later, at the climax of the story.
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Let's get back to Anthema and Newt, since this is the first time that Newt
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has ever been in such close proximity to a woman and they weren't in an
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argument nor was she a public servant, he was having thoughts about her that
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were totally alien to him. Sexual thoughts. She was having quite similar
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thoughts about him, but they went along the lines of "Well, he is the last person
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that I will ever see again on the Earth, and he isn't all that bad looking..".
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They were going over plans and the notecards that have been made up over the
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years that served as a translation of what Agnus was trying to say, we are
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told that Agnus's paranormal abilities were so specific and limited that they
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were almost totally useless because you would only understand it after the
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event had actually happened. It was like looking at a huge tapestry through
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a paper towel tube, you can only see a small part of the whole picture, but
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you could see alot of detail. Instead of standing around and procrastinate,
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they decide to do something about the end of the world (which is about 4 hours
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away).
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Back to Adam and his crew, Adam knows that he has a job to do, but he has no
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idea what it is. He leads the Them to a Nuclear Armory. They don't know it,
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but they are being followed by Newt and Anthema. The 8 horsepeople are also
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there, but they are about 30 minutes late for the big one. Adam's theory
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about how to make the world right is to start it all over, and he decides to
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do just that by setting off some nuclear weapons. Not good.
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With very little time to spare, Newt and Anthema try frantically to destroy
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the machine, but no matter what Newt does, the machinery seems to work. Maybe
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even better than before. It is then that Anthema has a brainstorm, why not have
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Newt try to fix the machine, he always has bad luck with whatever he does.
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She instructs him to do so and in turn destroys the guidance systems of the
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missiles. Now the four horsemen arrive in front of the military installation
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(the other four couldn't fly, so they couldn't keep up with the others) and
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have it out with the Them. War, Famine and Pestilence are defeated bye members
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of the Them, but DEATH is left standing, DEATH is eternal. After the battle,
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God and the Devil himself Appear in front of Adam and try to persuade him to
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end it all, they are in for a surprise. Adam decides that the world is better
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left alone than destroyed, and he's going to help it become a better place to
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live in. Azaphrale and Crowley are quite happy with this decision because they
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would be in big trouble with the big guys (God and the Devil) because of how
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Armageddon was botched. Newt doesn't get the girl, but that isn't a surprise,
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he has no luck with anything anyway. DEATH goes on doing exactly what he
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always does. Everybody lives happily ever after, except Newt who gets
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absolutely nothing, save the memories.
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The conflict in this story is man against nature, or more appropriately, man
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against the supernatural.
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In my opinion, this was a very good book throughout, but it didn't live up
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to the claims on the cover of being a direct ancestor of the Hitchhiker's
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Guide to the Galaxy. All it had in common with it was that they were both
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written by and English author(s). One problem with this book was that it
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seemed to be censored at parts where it may have had strong language, this was
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done by summarizing the paragraph in one or two sentences. I give it a B.
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-+(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)+-
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-+(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)+-
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THIS THO FILE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY
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Mother 69
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Midnight Runnings
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(908)YOU-JERK
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OFFICIAL THO DISTRIBUTION SITE
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HOME OF THE FLAME BROILED MIND
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The Asylum
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(908)YOU-WISH
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OFFICIAL THO BETA SITE
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TEXT, WARES, SOURCE CODES
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And the letter
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"X"
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-+(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)(=-=)+-
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One last thing before I let you go. Here's a post that I put up on The Asylum
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back in November. It may seem like a normal postbut keep reading it and you'll
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get a pleasant surprise :).
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ps Em = Emp
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[Elite Talk]
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Begin reading at [1-87] (Q=Quit):86
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Date: 7:46 pm Sat Nov 27, 1993 Number : 86 of 87
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From: Pip The Angry Youth Base : Elite Talk
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To : Tracer Refer #: 82
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Subj: Re: Chess Master Replies: None
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Stat: Normal Origin : Local
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Em> Maybe I'm just clueless, but that's the story I heard. What kind of elite B
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Em> can MajorBBS make anyway? That must've sucked.
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Tr>
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Tr>
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Tr> I've heard ALOT of stories. Blindman said Sir William was just sick of the
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Tr> users crap. I don't know what to believe and guess it don't much matter
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Tr> anymore. The file area was 'ok'. Couple of decent files but it was only u
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Tr> for like a week or two. I'm not really a fan on MBBS though. I like the id
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Tr> of 60 lines and all but most are pay boards with lots of dumb rules.
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i liked the underground, it's where i met most of you guys, and you are lucky
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for that :). if it wasn't for that board, i wouldn't be writing this, and i
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wouldn't have 3 people to go out to lunch with, i'd only have 1. and the
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board was great tho, 2 gigs, 2 cd's of PORN!!!! <efg>, 8 lines, and best of
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all, the people were mostly great, not like those people of that other MBBS
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TIF, CC is ok, but TIF is full of complete snobs and snits. They made fun of
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my handle <sniff, sniff> but then i looked through their registry. everyone
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was from the ages of 8-14!!!! and cc has too many damn lines too, so many of
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the modems there are held togeather with string and bubble gum giving you alot
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of line noise. they're full of x-mas modemers <of whom, i used to be an x-mas
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modemer, until i really started getting into this>... but i have pretty much
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dropped from the MBBS scene because too many people take that darn game TA too
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seriously. geeze. so now i am a text lamer for a little, then i don't know
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what i'll be. but i am off of the subject now, that's too easy to do... i
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wonder if anyone is still reading this... i don't think that I will kill
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today, my dog told me that my lord lucifer is decending on the world and we
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are all going to burn, i didn't beleive him. so you know what that little
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mutt did? he fried my brain with a bolt of magick... and then he said, and i
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quote "Pip, you are going to be my apprentice, you will rule this world in my
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name....." so i was happy for a little while, until i figured out that if he
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was my master... but i was his owner.... but he owned me.... pretty soon my
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brain started to hurt, ache is more like it, a dull throbbing feeling
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enveloped my head making it hard to think, but it was pretty much allways that
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way, but more so now..... there is one good thing about this whole thing
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about me ruling the world, all the f'ing peanut butter food products for me
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that i can possibly eat. that would be nice, wouldn't it. but then i started
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thinking about that winnie the poo show where tigger learned how to make
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spagetti, and then that's all he made for about a month. he got tired of it
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and had a tummy ache <which would be bad for me because i have a mental
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ulcer>. this was not going to be as good as it was sounding in the begining.
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but then my spirits were lifted once again when i thought that i could get rid
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of all the cream corn that was ever made and i would never have to eat it
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again... life was good. after all of that, i went to the "hospital" for my
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electro/chemical/sadomasochistic therapy. now i am in a bell tower in some
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small midwestern town with a rifle by my side. but i don't think that i will
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kill today, as i said before. tomorrow is allways an option though. i will
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take care of all of those "debs" that walk the streets and pollute our anal
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cravities with spam. but right now i think that i will take a nap, i feel
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sleepy.
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-=PiP=-
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[86] Read (1-87,<CR>,?=Help) :
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Pretty nifty eh? Well, this is the last THO file but I WILL be back in other
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forms, such as typing up lyric sheets and my E-Mag HardSnot. L8er.
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-=PiP=-
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Here's a dankee clip straight from me:
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Domino- for your luscious hooters, and your support through all this fucking
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garbage.
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Crusty- for not knowing what the hell is going on with Andie. :)
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Panther- for helping me stop being such a MajorBBS lamer
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Icarus- For the ONE file that you gave me.
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Java-Man- For the ONE <yet cool, I must admit> THO file
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Psychosis- For not even giving me ONE file
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Dancer <Jen>- for helpin me this summer
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Tal Meta- for PMS (i don't know you, but thanks for being part of godnet)
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one last thing.
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°± ±°
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±² ²±
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²Û Û²
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°°
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